DH put hands on 8 y/o son's neck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults should not "toss" children. Parents should protect their children. A mother should not stand by while her dh cusses at their child. Children are at the mercy of their parents. Protect your children!

When your child is being violent, tossing them kid by be the safest thing one can do. And if cursing at your child was cause for CPS or divorce, we wouldn’t have enough social workers or divorce lawyers to handle even a fraction of families who would need their help.

I do not condone violence but this was the first time that the child attacked his father and expecting a father to know how to react is really a high expectation. As I said earlier, if you have t had a violent child, you probably don’t understand the shock the first time it happens and you probably don’t get that there is a learning curve when it comes to dealing with it.

I dunno. A father's imperative is to protect his family. My dh is a big, strong guy who has only touched us gently. I have no doubt that he would've handled the op's situation differently. For starters, he would've never entered the 8 yos room when he was in there cooling off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults should not "toss" children. Parents should protect their children. A mother should not stand by while her dh cusses at their child. Children are at the mercy of their parents. Protect your children!

When your child is being violent, tossing them kid by be the safest thing one can do. And if cursing at your child was cause for CPS or divorce, we wouldn’t have enough social workers or divorce lawyers to handle even a fraction of families who would need their help.

I do not condone violence but this was the first time that the child attacked his father and expecting a father to know how to react is really a high expectation. As I said earlier, if you have t had a violent child, you probably don’t understand the shock the first time it happens and you probably don’t get that there is a learning curve when it comes to dealing with it.

I dunno. A father's imperative is to protect his family. My dh is a big, strong guy who has only touched us gently. I have no doubt that he would've handled the op's situation differently. For starters, he would've never entered the 8 yos room when he was in there cooling off.

Maybe he wouldn’t have, maybe he would have. People misread situations all the time. But fact here is that the dad did and then was attacked by the kid. And that is the reaction that is being addressed. People who have never had a violent kid are so quick to opine as to how amazing they would be if they had been in the situation.

[Anonymous]

My dad was physically abusive and had an anger problem. My brother developed one too. Your husband has probably modeled this behavior and you need to leave. My mother didn’t and I will never forgive her for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults should not "toss" children. Parents should protect their children. A mother should not stand by while her dh cusses at their child. Children are at the mercy of their parents. Protect your children!

When your child is being violent, tossing them kid by be the safest thing one can do. And if cursing at your child was cause for CPS or divorce, we wouldn’t have enough social workers or divorce lawyers to handle even a fraction of families who would need their help.

I do not condone violence but this was the first time that the child attacked his father and expecting a father to know how to react is really a high expectation. As I said earlier, if you have t had a violent child, you probably don’t understand the shock the first time it happens and you probably don’t get that there is a learning curve when it comes to dealing with it.

I dunno. A father's imperative is to protect his family. My dh is a big, strong guy who has only touched us gently. I have no doubt that he would've handled the op's situation differently. For starters, he would've never entered the 8 yos room when he was in there cooling off.

Maybe he wouldn’t have, maybe he would have. People misread situations all the time. But fact here is that the dad did and then was attacked by the kid. And that is the reaction that is being addressed. People who have never had a violent kid are so quick to opine as to how amazing they would be if they had been in the situation.

I've dealt with violent kids. Putting my hands on their neck was not my go to defence.
It's really bizarre that you need to make that action okay.
Are you trying to absolve yourself or perhaps your husband of the same wrong behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults should not "toss" children. Parents should protect their children. A mother should not stand by while her dh cusses at their child. Children are at the mercy of their parents. Protect your children!

When your child is being violent, tossing them kid by be the safest thing one can do. And if cursing at your child was cause for CPS or divorce, we wouldn’t have enough social workers or divorce lawyers to handle even a fraction of families who would need their help.

I do not condone violence but this was the first time that the child attacked his father and expecting a father to know how to react is really a high expectation. As I said earlier, if you have t had a violent child, you probably don’t understand the shock the first time it happens and you probably don’t get that there is a learning curve when it comes to dealing with it.

I dunno. A father's imperative is to protect his family. My dh is a big, strong guy who has only touched us gently. I have no doubt that he would've handled the op's situation differently. For starters, he would've never entered the 8 yos room when he was in there cooling off.

You bring up a good point that he was antagonizing his son. That paired with everything else we know about him isn't a good look.

He really needs a parenting and anger management class.
The unfortunate thing is he isn't likely to do so because he seems to be excusing his behavior and op seems to be looking for ways to downplay it

[Anonymous]

Omg. Nope. Husband would be no more. There are never any excuses for abusing a child.

[Anonymous]

A grown man couldn’t defend himself from haymakers from an eight year old? Husband has a few issues and time for you to pack up and leave.

[Anonymous]

If he stuck out his arm to keep kid at arms length and applied no pressure while kid was throwing haymakers at him, this doesn’t seem like a huge deal to me. Some 8 year olds are strong and violent. It sounds like your son has managed to accidentally hurt your DH before, so my guess is that this is your son. Also the safety of another kid was involved too? This wasn’t smart on your DH’s part and it sounds like everyone could use therapy, but I genuinely don’t understand everyone crying abuse in this scenario. Son violent & out of control and no pressure & no marks from DH, who was trying to protect himself/another kid?