Sorority rush - please make it sound appealing to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the whole thing just grates against everything we have been teaching our children about inclusivity and not excluding people because they are different.

That's life, sorry loser

Lol, nice self-own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

Nothing judgmental at all. These are simply the facts of what was happening. And yes, HS students who would ditch a person from their group if they "talk/associate" with kids who are not part of the "popular crowd" are nasty, mean kids. My kid and their friends literally watched their good friend wandering around ALONE at Homecoming but too afraid to associate with them, despite their best attempts. They witness this everyday at school as well, but yet this friend will Hang with them outside school (when schedule allows), went on a "senior getaway" with them, just not during the prized senior week. Sorry for you if you view this as normal, but it's not.

Similarly, if you think the queen bees who start controlling groups and being downright mean by excluding other girls in ES are normal, then you have issues. My kids were taught to be inclusive and kind. Not everyone is apparently.

Holy lack of self awareness!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

Nothing judgmental at all. These are simply the facts of what was happening. And yes, HS students who would ditch a person from their group if they "talk/associate" with kids who are not part of the "popular crowd" are nasty, mean kids. My kid and their friends literally watched their good friend wandering around ALONE at Homecoming but too afraid to associate with them, despite their best attempts. They witness this everyday at school as well, but yet this friend will Hang with them outside school (when schedule allows), went on a "senior getaway" with them, just not during the prized senior week. Sorry for you if you view this as normal, but it's not.

Similarly, if you think the queen bees who start controlling groups and being downright mean by excluding other girls in ES are normal, then you have issues. My kids were taught to be inclusive and kind. Not everyone is apparently.

Holy lack of self awareness!

Can you expand upon your criticism of pp's comment? Is it that you want more tolerance of intolerance? Less judging of a judgmental process? Not to put words in your mouth but would like to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter rushed at UVA and didn't stress out about it. Got into a sorority she liked and pledged. Made very good friends in it. Stayed very close to her first year roommate, to whom she was assigned at random and didn't know before UVA. The roommate didn't rush. My daughter was in her wedding last year.

It's not an either/or proposition. Stop judging and let people be. Yes, my daughter is cute, and smart, and funny, and comes from money, and so rushing was no big deal for her. But she's also nice.

I can’t believe you typed that out.

+1, cringe.

Being aware of your privilege is not a bad thing.

It is better than the many posters who think their bubble is the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

Nothing judgmental at all. These are simply the facts of what was happening. And yes, HS students who would ditch a person from their group if they "talk/associate" with kids who are not part of the "popular crowd" are nasty, mean kids. My kid and their friends literally watched their good friend wandering around ALONE at Homecoming but too afraid to associate with them, despite their best attempts. They witness this everyday at school as well, but yet this friend will Hang with them outside school (when schedule allows), went on a "senior getaway" with them, just not during the prized senior week. Sorry for you if you view this as normal, but it's not.

Similarly, if you think the queen bees who start controlling groups and being downright mean by excluding other girls in ES are normal, then you have issues. My kids were taught to be inclusive and kind. Not everyone is apparently.

Holy lack of self awareness!

Can you expand upon your criticism of pp's comment? Is it that you want more tolerance of intolerance? Less judging of a judgmental process? Not to put words in your mouth but would like to understand.

Anyone who broadly stereotypes based on perceived social group is judgmental. Pp continues to insist that her children are perfect and any child who is popular is mean and exclusionary. It doesn’t take much emotional intelligence to see this in her posts. Life simply isn’t that black and white, and even if it was, I personally find her need to put down other children while describing her own as perfect odd. Adults shouldn’t be so invested in the k-12 social scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

Nothing judgmental at all. These are simply the facts of what was happening. And yes, HS students who would ditch a person from their group if they "talk/associate" with kids who are not part of the "popular crowd" are nasty, mean kids. My kid and their friends literally watched their good friend wandering around ALONE at Homecoming but too afraid to associate with them, despite their best attempts. They witness this everyday at school as well, but yet this friend will Hang with them outside school (when schedule allows), went on a "senior getaway" with them, just not during the prized senior week. Sorry for you if you view this as normal, but it's not.

Similarly, if you think the queen bees who start controlling groups and being downright mean by excluding other girls in ES are normal, then you have issues. My kids were taught to be inclusive and kind. Not everyone is apparently.

Holy lack of self awareness!

Can you expand upon your criticism of pp's comment? Is it that you want more tolerance of intolerance? Less judging of a judgmental process? Not to put words in your mouth but would like to understand.

Anyone who broadly stereotypes based on perceived social group is judgmental. Pp continues to insist that her children are perfect and any child who is popular is mean and exclusionary. It doesn’t take much emotional intelligence to see this in her posts. Life simply isn’t that black and white, and even if it was, I personally find her need to put down other children while describing her own as perfect odd. Adults shouldn’t be so invested in the k-12 social scene.

It really is odd behavior anchored in some warped sense of feeling virtuous. Reality is they are simply shallow narcissist's that are just as bad as those they purport to hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

Nothing judgmental at all. These are simply the facts of what was happening. And yes, HS students who would ditch a person from their group if they "talk/associate" with kids who are not part of the "popular crowd" are nasty, mean kids. My kid and their friends literally watched their good friend wandering around ALONE at Homecoming but too afraid to associate with them, despite their best attempts. They witness this everyday at school as well, but yet this friend will Hang with them outside school (when schedule allows), went on a "senior getaway" with them, just not during the prized senior week. Sorry for you if you view this as normal, but it's not.

Similarly, if you think the queen bees who start controlling groups and being downright mean by excluding other girls in ES are normal, then you have issues. My kids were taught to be inclusive and kind. Not everyone is apparently.

Holy lack of self awareness!

Can you expand upon your criticism of pp's comment? Is it that you want more tolerance of intolerance? Less judging of a judgmental process? Not to put words in your mouth but would like to understand.

Anyone who broadly stereotypes based on perceived social group is judgmental. Pp continues to insist that her children are perfect and any child who is popular is mean and exclusionary. It doesn’t take much emotional intelligence to see this in her posts. Life simply isn’t that black and white, and even if it was, I personally find her need to put down other children while describing her own as perfect odd. Adults shouldn’t be so invested in the k-12 social scene.

You need better reading comprehension.

Never did I say my kid is "perfect", far from it. However, if my kid were to be mean to others I would work hard to put a stop to it, by educating my kid/having discussions. It is not acceptable to allow your 2nd/3rd grader to be mean to others and exclude others, encourage others to not play with/associate with another 2nd/3rd grader. My kids knew they didn't have to like everyone, but that being mean is not acceptable. We worked hard to teach our kids to try to include everyone. I also witnessed these events/behaviors while actively volunteering during ES, so it's not just a 7yo story or a stereotype, I've witnessed it. It's called parenting. If you think those behaviors are acceptable and just a normal part of life, then I feel sorry for your kids.

Also I never said any child who is popular is "mean and exclusionary". However, providing details of real life facts of what my kids have witnessed is not "judgmental". It's facts, and not a stereotype.

When my daughter and 2 of her 3 best friends come home from homecoming and spend an hour discussing how sad they were for the 3rd friend who seemed so sad/miserable at homecoming (was crying at homecoming and left to wander alone and wouldn't join them), I will listen to the discussion. Yes, I know that my kid and the other 2 friends would never ditch another friend at any event, no matter what happened. That isn't me saying my kid is perfect (she's not). It's me stating my teen/young adult has grown up with empathy and the ability to be nice. If that bothers you so much, maybe you need to look deep and try to understand why it does.

FWIW, I don't care if my kid is "popular" or not. What matters most to me is that my kid is a genuinely nice person with empathy for others, even when it's not the "easy choice". So yes, I am proud that time and time again, when my kid has witnessed drama (my kid is a competitive dancer, so that ramps up the potential for drama on a daily basis), she has almost always just stayed out of it and happily supported those who were being "pushed aside". So yes, I am proud that I've helped raise a genuinely nice, empathetic young adult who is a joy to be around (well most of the time, as long as it's past noon )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

Nothing judgmental at all. These are simply the facts of what was happening. And yes, HS students who would ditch a person from their group if they "talk/associate" with kids who are not part of the "popular crowd" are nasty, mean kids. My kid and their friends literally watched their good friend wandering around ALONE at Homecoming but too afraid to associate with them, despite their best attempts. They witness this everyday at school as well, but yet this friend will Hang with them outside school (when schedule allows), went on a "senior getaway" with them, just not during the prized senior week. Sorry for you if you view this as normal, but it's not.

Similarly, if you think the queen bees who start controlling groups and being downright mean by excluding other girls in ES are normal, then you have issues. My kids were taught to be inclusive and kind. Not everyone is apparently.

Holy lack of self awareness!

Can you expand upon your criticism of pp's comment? Is it that you want more tolerance of intolerance? Less judging of a judgmental process? Not to put words in your mouth but would like to understand.

Anyone who broadly stereotypes based on perceived social group is judgmental. Pp continues to insist that her children are perfect and any child who is popular is mean and exclusionary. It doesn’t take much emotional intelligence to see this in her posts. Life simply isn’t that black and white, and even if it was, I personally find her need to put down other children while describing her own as perfect odd. Adults shouldn’t be so invested in the k-12 social scene.

You need better reading comprehension.

Never did I say my kid is "perfect", far from it. However, if my kid were to be mean to others I would work hard to put a stop to it, by educating my kid/having discussions. It is not acceptable to allow your 2nd/3rd grader to be mean to others and exclude others, encourage others to not play with/associate with another 2nd/3rd grader. My kids knew they didn't have to like everyone, but that being mean is not acceptable. We worked hard to teach our kids to try to include everyone. I also witnessed these events/behaviors while actively volunteering during ES, so it's not just a 7yo story or a stereotype, I've witnessed it. It's called parenting. If you think those behaviors are acceptable and just a normal part of life, then I feel sorry for your kids.

Also I never said any child who is popular is "mean and exclusionary". However, providing details of real life facts of what my kids have witnessed is not "judgmental". It's facts, and not a stereotype.

When my daughter and 2 of her 3 best friends come home from homecoming and spend an hour discussing how sad they were for the 3rd friend who seemed so sad/miserable at homecoming (was crying at homecoming and left to wander alone and wouldn't join them), I will listen to the discussion. Yes, I know that my kid and the other 2 friends would never ditch another friend at any event, no matter what happened. That isn't me saying my kid is perfect (she's not). It's me stating my teen/young adult has grown up with empathy and the ability to be nice. If that bothers you so much, maybe you need to look deep and try to understand why it does.

FWIW, I don't care if my kid is "popular" or not. What matters most to me is that my kid is a genuinely nice person with empathy for others, even when it's not the "easy choice". So yes, I am proud that time and time again, when my kid has witnessed drama (my kid is a competitive dancer, so that ramps up the potential for drama on a daily basis), she has almost always just stayed out of it and happily supported those who were being "pushed aside". So yes, I am proud that I've helped raise a genuinely nice, empathetic young adult who is a joy to be around (well most of the time, as long as it's past noon )

NP...Nice try but you just made PP's point. When you begin a post emphasizing lack of judgement and empathy with "You need better reading comprehension" you have failed. The fact you don't get that goes to your narcissistic tendencies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

Nothing judgmental at all. These are simply the facts of what was happening. And yes, HS students who would ditch a person from their group if they "talk/associate" with kids who are not part of the "popular crowd" are nasty, mean kids. My kid and their friends literally watched their good friend wandering around ALONE at Homecoming but too afraid to associate with them, despite their best attempts. They witness this everyday at school as well, but yet this friend will Hang with them outside school (when schedule allows), went on a "senior getaway" with them, just not during the prized senior week. Sorry for you if you view this as normal, but it's not.

Similarly, if you think the queen bees who start controlling groups and being downright mean by excluding other girls in ES are normal, then you have issues. My kids were taught to be inclusive and kind. Not everyone is apparently.

Holy lack of self awareness!

Can you expand upon your criticism of pp's comment? Is it that you want more tolerance of intolerance? Less judging of a judgmental process? Not to put words in your mouth but would like to understand.

Anyone who broadly stereotypes based on perceived social group is judgmental. Pp continues to insist that her children are perfect and any child who is popular is mean and exclusionary. It doesn’t take much emotional intelligence to see this in her posts. Life simply isn’t that black and white, and even if it was, I personally find her need to put down other children while describing her own as perfect odd. Adults shouldn’t be so invested in the k-12 social scene.

You need better reading comprehension.

Never did I say my kid is "perfect", far from it. However, if my kid were to be mean to others I would work hard to put a stop to it, by educating my kid/having discussions. It is not acceptable to allow your 2nd/3rd grader to be mean to others and exclude others, encourage others to not play with/associate with another 2nd/3rd grader. My kids knew they didn't have to like everyone, but that being mean is not acceptable. We worked hard to teach our kids to try to include everyone. I also witnessed these events/behaviors while actively volunteering during ES, so it's not just a 7yo story or a stereotype, I've witnessed it. It's called parenting. If you think those behaviors are acceptable and just a normal part of life, then I feel sorry for your kids.

Also I never said any child who is popular is "mean and exclusionary". However, providing details of real life facts of what my kids have witnessed is not "judgmental". It's facts, and not a stereotype.

When my daughter and 2 of her 3 best friends come home from homecoming and spend an hour discussing how sad they were for the 3rd friend who seemed so sad/miserable at homecoming (was crying at homecoming and left to wander alone and wouldn't join them), I will listen to the discussion. Yes, I know that my kid and the other 2 friends would never ditch another friend at any event, no matter what happened. That isn't me saying my kid is perfect (she's not). It's me stating my teen/young adult has grown up with empathy and the ability to be nice. If that bothers you so much, maybe you need to look deep and try to understand why it does.

FWIW, I don't care if my kid is "popular" or not. What matters most to me is that my kid is a genuinely nice person with empathy for others, even when it's not the "easy choice". So yes, I am proud that time and time again, when my kid has witnessed drama (my kid is a competitive dancer, so that ramps up the potential for drama on a daily basis), she has almost always just stayed out of it and happily supported those who were being "pushed aside". So yes, I am proud that I've helped raise a genuinely nice, empathetic young adult who is a joy to be around (well most of the time, as long as it's past noon )

Go back and read your prior posts again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rush is a lot like speed dating. It works out fine for most of the people I think (maybe not at Alabama but at normal places).

The problem is that you don’t need sororities to get the good things about sororities and there’s a lot of historic badness and ongoing things that are problematic so in most cases it would probably be better to give it a miss.

That said the good stuff is good and overall it’s pretty harmless if you have your head on straight.

I have read the whole thread, but quoted this post from the beginning. It seems pretty accurate based on my experience, I rushed and joined a sorority at UVA. I probably would not have rushed at a school in the South where things seem much more intense.

I decided I was just going to be myself and wore my usual clothes (as appropriate to the event of course) and I was never surprised by where I was asked back. I remember going to one place with a lot of girls from the South during the first round and someone asked "where I summered" and I told her "at my job" LOL - didn't get asked back there but it was clearly not a fit! I went into it figuring I would see how it went and there ended up being a house where I already had some friends and pledged there. The biggest thing I remember was that it was cold (the first year students rushed after winter break, not sure if they still do that). I kept up my friendships with non-sorority women and friends who joined other sororities. I liked having social events and charity events to go to and lived in the house one year because it was really inexpensive, but wasn't as involved as a lot of people seem to be with Greek life. I didn't know or care which frats the sorority "mixed" with or who was popular. As college went on and I matured I realized that the lack of diversity bothered me and became more involved in other organizations, but have a core group of good friends from my sorority.

If you're good at making small talk and connecting with a person "speed dating" style rush is not bad. You can drop out if it's not for you or you can turn down a bid. Even if you initially join a sorority and realize it's not for you you can leave later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

Nothing judgmental at all. These are simply the facts of what was happening. And yes, HS students who would ditch a person from their group if they "talk/associate" with kids who are not part of the "popular crowd" are nasty, mean kids. My kid and their friends literally watched their good friend wandering around ALONE at Homecoming but too afraid to associate with them, despite their best attempts. They witness this everyday at school as well, but yet this friend will Hang with them outside school (when schedule allows), went on a "senior getaway" with them, just not during the prized senior week. Sorry for you if you view this as normal, but it's not.

Similarly, if you think the queen bees who start controlling groups and being downright mean by excluding other girls in ES are normal, then you have issues. My kids were taught to be inclusive and kind. Not everyone is apparently.

Holy lack of self awareness!

Can you expand upon your criticism of pp's comment? Is it that you want more tolerance of intolerance? Less judging of a judgmental process? Not to put words in your mouth but would like to understand.

Anyone who broadly stereotypes based on perceived social group is judgmental. Pp continues to insist that her children are perfect and any child who is popular is mean and exclusionary. It doesn’t take much emotional intelligence to see this in her posts. Life simply isn’t that black and white, and even if it was, I personally find her need to put down other children while describing her own as perfect odd. Adults shouldn’t be so invested in the k-12 social scene.

You need better reading comprehension.

Never did I say my kid is "perfect", far from it. However, if my kid were to be mean to others I would work hard to put a stop to it, by educating my kid/having discussions. It is not acceptable to allow your 2nd/3rd grader to be mean to others and exclude others, encourage others to not play with/associate with another 2nd/3rd grader. My kids knew they didn't have to like everyone, but that being mean is not acceptable. We worked hard to teach our kids to try to include everyone. I also witnessed these events/behaviors while actively volunteering during ES, so it's not just a 7yo story or a stereotype, I've witnessed it. It's called parenting. If you think those behaviors are acceptable and just a normal part of life, then I feel sorry for your kids.

Also I never said any child who is popular is "mean and exclusionary". However, providing details of real life facts of what my kids have witnessed is not "judgmental". It's facts, and not a stereotype.

When my daughter and 2 of her 3 best friends come home from homecoming and spend an hour discussing how sad they were for the 3rd friend who seemed so sad/miserable at homecoming (was crying at homecoming and left to wander alone and wouldn't join them), I will listen to the discussion. Yes, I know that my kid and the other 2 friends would never ditch another friend at any event, no matter what happened. That isn't me saying my kid is perfect (she's not). It's me stating my teen/young adult has grown up with empathy and the ability to be nice. If that bothers you so much, maybe you need to look deep and try to understand why it does.

FWIW, I don't care if my kid is "popular" or not. What matters most to me is that my kid is a genuinely nice person with empathy for others, even when it's not the "easy choice". So yes, I am proud that time and time again, when my kid has witnessed drama (my kid is a competitive dancer, so that ramps up the potential for drama on a daily basis), she has almost always just stayed out of it and happily supported those who were being "pushed aside". So yes, I am proud that I've helped raise a genuinely nice, empathetic young adult who is a joy to be around (well most of the time, as long as it's past noon )

NP...Nice try but you just made PP's point. When you begin a post emphasizing lack of judgement and empathy with "You need better reading comprehension" you have failed. The fact you don't get that goes to your narcissistic tendencies.

+1. Nice not to be cursed with self-awareness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

Nothing judgmental at all. These are simply the facts of what was happening. And yes, HS students who would ditch a person from their group if they "talk/associate" with kids who are not part of the "popular crowd" are nasty, mean kids. My kid and their friends literally watched their good friend wandering around ALONE at Homecoming but too afraid to associate with them, despite their best attempts. They witness this everyday at school as well, but yet this friend will Hang with them outside school (when schedule allows), went on a "senior getaway" with them, just not during the prized senior week. Sorry for you if you view this as normal, but it's not.

Similarly, if you think the queen bees who start controlling groups and being downright mean by excluding other girls in ES are normal, then you have issues. My kids were taught to be inclusive and kind. Not everyone is apparently.

Holy lack of self awareness!

Can you expand upon your criticism of pp's comment? Is it that you want more tolerance of intolerance? Less judging of a judgmental process? Not to put words in your mouth but would like to understand.

Anyone who broadly stereotypes based on perceived social group is judgmental. Pp continues to insist that her children are perfect and any child who is popular is mean and exclusionary. It doesn’t take much emotional intelligence to see this in her posts. Life simply isn’t that black and white, and even if it was, I personally find her need to put down other children while describing her own as perfect odd. Adults shouldn’t be so invested in the k-12 social scene.

You need better reading comprehension.

Never did I say my kid is "perfect", far from it. However, if my kid were to be mean to others I would work hard to put a stop to it, by educating my kid/having discussions. It is not acceptable to allow your 2nd/3rd grader to be mean to others and exclude others, encourage others to not play with/associate with another 2nd/3rd grader. My kids knew they didn't have to like everyone, but that being mean is not acceptable. We worked hard to teach our kids to try to include everyone. I also witnessed these events/behaviors while actively volunteering during ES, so it's not just a 7yo story or a stereotype, I've witnessed it. It's called parenting. If you think those behaviors are acceptable and just a normal part of life, then I feel sorry for your kids.

Also I never said any child who is popular is "mean and exclusionary". However, providing details of real life facts of what my kids have witnessed is not "judgmental". It's facts, and not a stereotype.

When my daughter and 2 of her 3 best friends come home from homecoming and spend an hour discussing how sad they were for the 3rd friend who seemed so sad/miserable at homecoming (was crying at homecoming and left to wander alone and wouldn't join them), I will listen to the discussion. Yes, I know that my kid and the other 2 friends would never ditch another friend at any event, no matter what happened. That isn't me saying my kid is perfect (she's not). It's me stating my teen/young adult has grown up with empathy and the ability to be nice. If that bothers you so much, maybe you need to look deep and try to understand why it does.

FWIW, I don't care if my kid is "popular" or not. What matters most to me is that my kid is a genuinely nice person with empathy for others, even when it's not the "easy choice". So yes, I am proud that time and time again, when my kid has witnessed drama (my kid is a competitive dancer, so that ramps up the potential for drama on a daily basis), she has almost always just stayed out of it and happily supported those who were being "pushed aside". So yes, I am proud that I've helped raise a genuinely nice, empathetic young adult who is a joy to be around (well most of the time, as long as it's past noon )

Go back and read your prior posts again.

This is the same lady that said her daughter and her friend watched another friend wander around alone at homecoming and did nothing....but now she says she's proud of her daughter's kindness and empathy while also being judgmental and lacking empathy. Amusing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

Nothing judgmental at all. These are simply the facts of what was happening. And yes, HS students who would ditch a person from their group if they "talk/associate" with kids who are not part of the "popular crowd" are nasty, mean kids. My kid and their friends literally watched their good friend wandering around ALONE at Homecoming but too afraid to associate with them, despite their best attempts. They witness this everyday at school as well, but yet this friend will Hang with them outside school (when schedule allows), went on a "senior getaway" with them, just not during the prized senior week. Sorry for you if you view this as normal, but it's not.

Similarly, if you think the queen bees who start controlling groups and being downright mean by excluding other girls in ES are normal, then you have issues. My kids were taught to be inclusive and kind. Not everyone is apparently.

Holy lack of self awareness!

Can you expand upon your criticism of pp's comment? Is it that you want more tolerance of intolerance? Less judging of a judgmental process? Not to put words in your mouth but would like to understand.

Anyone who broadly stereotypes based on perceived social group is judgmental. Pp continues to insist that her children are perfect and any child who is popular is mean and exclusionary. It doesn’t take much emotional intelligence to see this in her posts. Life simply isn’t that black and white, and even if it was, I personally find her need to put down other children while describing her own as perfect odd. Adults shouldn’t be so invested in the k-12 social scene.

You need better reading comprehension.

Never did I say my kid is "perfect", far from it. However, if my kid were to be mean to others I would work hard to put a stop to it, by educating my kid/having discussions. It is not acceptable to allow your 2nd/3rd grader to be mean to others and exclude others, encourage others to not play with/associate with another 2nd/3rd grader. My kids knew they didn't have to like everyone, but that being mean is not acceptable. We worked hard to teach our kids to try to include everyone. I also witnessed these events/behaviors while actively volunteering during ES, so it's not just a 7yo story or a stereotype, I've witnessed it. It's called parenting. If you think those behaviors are acceptable and just a normal part of life, then I feel sorry for your kids.

Also I never said any child who is popular is "mean and exclusionary". However, providing details of real life facts of what my kids have witnessed is not "judgmental". It's facts, and not a stereotype.

When my daughter and 2 of her 3 best friends come home from homecoming and spend an hour discussing how sad they were for the 3rd friend who seemed so sad/miserable at homecoming (was crying at homecoming and left to wander alone and wouldn't join them), I will listen to the discussion. Yes, I know that my kid and the other 2 friends would never ditch another friend at any event, no matter what happened. That isn't me saying my kid is perfect (she's not). It's me stating my teen/young adult has grown up with empathy and the ability to be nice. If that bothers you so much, maybe you need to look deep and try to understand why it does.

FWIW, I don't care if my kid is "popular" or not. What matters most to me is that my kid is a genuinely nice person with empathy for others, even when it's not the "easy choice". So yes, I am proud that time and time again, when my kid has witnessed drama (my kid is a competitive dancer, so that ramps up the potential for drama on a daily basis), she has almost always just stayed out of it and happily supported those who were being "pushed aside". So yes, I am proud that I've helped raise a genuinely nice, empathetic young adult who is a joy to be around (well most of the time, as long as it's past noon )

Go back and read your prior posts again.

This is the same lady that said her daughter and her friend watched another friend wander around alone at homecoming and did nothing....but now she says she's proud of her daughter's kindness and empathy while also being judgmental and lacking empathy. Amusing.

Once again, they didn't do nothing. They tried to get friend to hang out with them, but the friend wouldn't because that would ruin any future with this "popular group"---she pushed them away. So they can't force her to join them. It had been like this at HS since 9th grade...friend won't associate with anyone outside of the "crowd" while at school/school events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rush is startlingly similar to the law firm on campus interview (OCI) process.

no it isn’t. And I was a Sorority President and went to Yale Law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rush is startlingly similar to the law firm on campus interview (OCI) process.

no it isn’t. And I was a Sorority President and went to Yale Law.

Look everyone, we have a real Elle Woods here! How's Bruiser doing? You still have the "Bend and Snap" down?