Sorority rush - please make it sound appealing to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter rushed at UVA and didn't stress out about it. Got into a sorority she liked and pledged. Made very good friends in it. Stayed very close to her first year roommate, to whom she was assigned at random and didn't know before UVA. The roommate didn't rush. My daughter was in her wedding last year.

It's not an either/or proposition. Stop judging and let people be. Yes, my daughter is cute, and smart, and funny, and comes from money, and so rushing was no big deal for her. But she's also nice.

That is ironic. Judging is the point of it all.

[Anonymous]

There are easier ways to announce to the world that you don’t have a personality and are susceptible to cult-like groupthink and have a tendency for racism and sexism than to join Greek life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are easier ways to announce to the world that you don’t have a personality and are susceptible to cult-like groupthink and have a tendency for racism and sexism than to join Greek life.

I’m not sure there are, that’s a lot of letters to iron on to a t-shirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are easier ways to announce to the world that you don’t have a personality and are susceptible to cult-like groupthink and have a tendency for racism and sexism than to join Greek life.

There are easier ways to announce that you are closed minded, judgmental and simply mean than bashing the greek system on an anonymous board when someone posted asking about rush. You're SO cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter rushed at UVA and didn't stress out about it. Got into a sorority she liked and pledged. Made very good friends in it. Stayed very close to her first year roommate, to whom she was assigned at random and didn't know before UVA. The roommate didn't rush. My daughter was in her wedding last year.

It's not an either/or proposition. Stop judging and let people be. Yes, my daughter is cute, and smart, and funny, and comes from money, and so rushing was no big deal for her. But she's also nice.

That is ironic. Judging is the point of it all.

Its just really not that bad people. (or person as it feels like this is just the same person posting this over and over). Stop thinking every rush is like 'Bama rush and realize again that there are normal, nice girls doing this as most schools and it's not nearly as cut throat as you think it is.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:At UMD, some sororities also participated in “dirty rush” by telling PNMs to suicide their house (only rank that one house), knowing that they girls weren’t high enough to get a bid. Then they would contact them under the guise of COB (continuous open bidding) and snap them up. It was a way to ensure they got all of the girls they wanted. Unfortunately, some girls always went that route and then didn’t get the bid later on, and they were usually the ones who invested so much into that one particular house that there wasn’t another house interested.

I am so confused by this (and I was in a sorority in college!). I get the gist is that this is against the spirit of the rules and hurts the girls rushing, but I cannot follow this.

OP, where is your dd going to college? The process can be very different if you are talking Colgate vs UGA, for examples.

I went to a different college and this isnt what dirty rush meant at my school either. At the school that I attended, dirty rush was when sororities wouldnt follow the rules panhellinic set out for fairness during rush. For instance sorority members werent supposed to socialize w rushees outside of the rush process during rush, so that the whole process was fair to everyone—everyone pledging got a chance to meet every sorority in the same way everyone else did under the same time constraints of one hour/party/day. At my school AOPi was the sorority with the prettiest girls and they would often dirty rush other hot chicks. Make sure the hot chicks met everyone outside of formal rush process, etc.

Dirty rush as its used mostly means contact with houses prior to rush and possibly bid promising. The convoluted story about being told to suicide is not considered dirty rush but it is certainly against the rules. If you suicide bid and don't get a bid, then you are eligible for COB and snap bidding after the end of formal rush. So i bet there are houses that use that as a way to ensure they get everyone that they want but certainly it is not the way its supposed to be done.

Most of the time girls do not suicide bid, but if you end up getting a bid from the house you didn't want, you won't accept it but then you can't participate in rush again until the next year. If you suicide and get no bid, you can do COB immediately after bid day so alot of girls do do that because they think they might have a shot at COB and don't want to miss out on a whole year before they can rush again. At UVA for example, last year, most of the houses picked up several kids via COB. I think only one house didn't participate. My DD knows several friends who did COB and got into houses they had been dropped from during the formal rush process so it's a good option.

NP. This is so confusing to me. If you get dropped from a house during rush, why would they then pick you up during COB?

Because it’s purely a numbers game, literally done via computer. So if someone got dropped it’s because they had someone else ranked higher and that kid had them ranked highly so the person ranked lower got dropped. Didn’t mean that they didn’t like the person, so when they had open slots, they don’t use the computer ranking and so it’s easier to get in if you continue to have good conversations etc during the COB process.

Ranking human beings. Nice.

Barf OP. You do not have to join one.

“Barf”? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are easier ways to announce to the world that you don’t have a personality and are susceptible to cult-like groupthink and have a tendency for racism and sexism than to join Greek life.

I’m not sure there are, that’s a lot of letters to iron on to a t-shirt.

Maybe PP should have said that there are cheaper ways to accomplish the same objective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter rushed at UVA and didn't stress out about it. Got into a sorority she liked and pledged. Made very good friends in it. Stayed very close to her first year roommate, to whom she was assigned at random and didn't know before UVA. The roommate didn't rush. My daughter was in her wedding last year.

It's not an either/or proposition. Stop judging and let people be. Yes, my daughter is cute, and smart, and funny, and comes from money, and so rushing was no big deal for her. But she's also nice.

I can’t believe you typed that out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are easier ways to announce to the world that you don’t have a personality and are susceptible to cult-like groupthink and have a tendency for racism and sexism than to join Greek life.

Why would anyone want to exclude you from a social group? You sound so open minded and friendly.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:At UMD, some sororities also participated in “dirty rush” by telling PNMs to suicide their house (only rank that one house), knowing that they girls weren’t high enough to get a bid. Then they would contact them under the guise of COB (continuous open bidding) and snap them up. It was a way to ensure they got all of the girls they wanted. Unfortunately, some girls always went that route and then didn’t get the bid later on, and they were usually the ones who invested so much into that one particular house that there wasn’t another house interested.

I am so confused by this (and I was in a sorority in college!). I get the gist is that this is against the spirit of the rules and hurts the girls rushing, but I cannot follow this.

OP, where is your dd going to college? The process can be very different if you are talking Colgate vs UGA, for examples.

I went to a different college and this isnt what dirty rush meant at my school either. At the school that I attended, dirty rush was when sororities wouldnt follow the rules panhellinic set out for fairness during rush. For instance sorority members werent supposed to socialize w rushees outside of the rush process during rush, so that the whole process was fair to everyone—everyone pledging got a chance to meet every sorority in the same way everyone else did under the same time constraints of one hour/party/day. At my school AOPi was the sorority with the prettiest girls and they would often dirty rush other hot chicks. Make sure the hot chicks met everyone outside of formal rush process, etc.

Dirty rush as its used mostly means contact with houses prior to rush and possibly bid promising. The convoluted story about being told to suicide is not considered dirty rush but it is certainly against the rules. If you suicide bid and don't get a bid, then you are eligible for COB and snap bidding after the end of formal rush. So i bet there are houses that use that as a way to ensure they get everyone that they want but certainly it is not the way its supposed to be done.

Most of the time girls do not suicide bid, but if you end up getting a bid from the house you didn't want, you won't accept it but then you can't participate in rush again until the next year. If you suicide and get no bid, you can do COB immediately after bid day so alot of girls do do that because they think they might have a shot at COB and don't want to miss out on a whole year before they can rush again. At UVA for example, last year, most of the houses picked up several kids via COB. I think only one house didn't participate. My DD knows several friends who did COB and got into houses they had been dropped from during the formal rush process so it's a good option.

NP. This is so confusing to me. If you get dropped from a house during rush, why would they then pick you up during COB?

Because it’s purely a numbers game, literally done via computer. So if someone got dropped it’s because they had someone else ranked higher and that kid had them ranked highly so the person ranked lower got dropped. Didn’t mean that they didn’t like the person, so when they had open slots, they don’t use the computer ranking and so it’s easier to get in if you continue to have good conversations etc during the COB process.

Ranking human beings. Nice.

Oh the horror! I hope your DC does not play a sport, get grades, have a GPA or want a job someday. People are always ranked in everything they do. You don’t just hire everyone that shows up to the interview, do you? You meet them, interview them and see if they can not only do your job but fit your culture. It’s the same thing.

Sorority rush matches works exactly the same as medical residency match actually.

Hahahaha the justification truly knows no bounds.

I mean, it does. You seem out of touch with reality.

You are delusional if you’re really trying to equate sorority rush to med school matching process.

Your reading comprehension skills are weak. Both residency match and sorority match use the same system to pair the parties: both the applicant and sorority/hospital rank all candidates. The candidate is then matched with the party the CANDIDATE ranked highest that also listed the Candidate.

Why is this system used? Because it is the system least likely to leave a candidate unplaced and a sorority/residency program unfilled. Sorry this is not compatible with your world view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

Actually, my kids have always steered clear of groups and organizations that cause drama, treat people unfairly, and judge others based on superficial traits. They have done this since ES, when they quickly realized the Queen Bees were downright mean to many kids and excluded them and made fun of them. While my kid was not excluded, they were smart enough to realize this was wrong and didn't join those groups. Similarly in MS and HS, steered clear of the "mean girls" and "popular crowd" where your status could change daily. She watched a good friend go thru it in HS and just supported her; watched the friend wander around alone at Homecoming because she'd been ditched by the "popular friends" yet wouldn't/couldn't talk to her other group of friends 4 of them for fear of being further excluded from the popular group. My kid is nice enough to remain good friends with this girl, and just be there when she "has the time for her and that group of friends", but they all hurt watching the friend deal with the ups/downs/meanness of the popular group and wish she could see she doesn't have to do that to herself.

I wonder if your kids inherited your superiority complex? The women in my sorority weren’t half as judgmental as you demonstrated yourself to be in one post.

Nothing judgmental at all. These are simply the facts of what was happening. And yes, HS students who would ditch a person from their group if they "talk/associate" with kids who are not part of the "popular crowd" are nasty, mean kids. My kid and their friends literally watched their good friend wandering around ALONE at Homecoming but too afraid to associate with them, despite their best attempts. They witness this everyday at school as well, but yet this friend will Hang with them outside school (when schedule allows), went on a "senior getaway" with them, just not during the prized senior week. Sorry for you if you view this as normal, but it's not.

Similarly, if you think the queen bees who start controlling groups and being downright mean by excluding other girls in ES are normal, then you have issues. My kids were taught to be inclusive and kind. Not everyone is apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter rushed at UVA and didn't stress out about it. Got into a sorority she liked and pledged. Made very good friends in it. Stayed very close to her first year roommate, to whom she was assigned at random and didn't know before UVA. The roommate didn't rush. My daughter was in her wedding last year.

It's not an either/or proposition. Stop judging and let people be. Yes, my daughter is cute, and smart, and funny, and comes from money, and so rushing was no big deal for her. But she's also nice.

I can’t believe you typed that out.

+1 This is not helping your case, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter rushed at UVA and didn't stress out about it. Got into a sorority she liked and pledged. Made very good friends in it. Stayed very close to her first year roommate, to whom she was assigned at random and didn't know before UVA. The roommate didn't rush. My daughter was in her wedding last year.

It's not an either/or proposition. Stop judging and let people be. Yes, my daughter is cute, and smart, and funny, and comes from money, and so rushing was no big deal for her. But she's also nice.

I can’t believe you typed that out.

+1, cringe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's potentially pretty damaging to 17-18yo girls who have just arrived into an unfamiliar situation and are ranked and accepted or rejected when they are still trying to find their footing at college. They should delay the process to sophomore year or get rid of it altogether.

Yes! Rush should not happen fall freshman year

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:At UMD, some sororities also participated in “dirty rush” by telling PNMs to suicide their house (only rank that one house), knowing that they girls weren’t high enough to get a bid. Then they would contact them under the guise of COB (continuous open bidding) and snap them up. It was a way to ensure they got all of the girls they wanted. Unfortunately, some girls always went that route and then didn’t get the bid later on, and they were usually the ones who invested so much into that one particular house that there wasn’t another house interested.

I am so confused by this (and I was in a sorority in college!). I get the gist is that this is against the spirit of the rules and hurts the girls rushing, but I cannot follow this.

OP, where is your dd going to college? The process can be very different if you are talking Colgate vs UGA, for examples.

I went to a different college and this isnt what dirty rush meant at my school either. At the school that I attended, dirty rush was when sororities wouldnt follow the rules panhellinic set out for fairness during rush. For instance sorority members werent supposed to socialize w rushees outside of the rush process during rush, so that the whole process was fair to everyone—everyone pledging got a chance to meet every sorority in the same way everyone else did under the same time constraints of one hour/party/day. At my school AOPi was the sorority with the prettiest girls and they would often dirty rush other hot chicks. Make sure the hot chicks met everyone outside of formal rush process, etc.

Dirty rush as its used mostly means contact with houses prior to rush and possibly bid promising. The convoluted story about being told to suicide is not considered dirty rush but it is certainly against the rules. If you suicide bid and don't get a bid, then you are eligible for COB and snap bidding after the end of formal rush. So i bet there are houses that use that as a way to ensure they get everyone that they want but certainly it is not the way its supposed to be done.

Most of the time girls do not suicide bid, but if you end up getting a bid from the house you didn't want, you won't accept it but then you can't participate in rush again until the next year. If you suicide and get no bid, you can do COB immediately after bid day so alot of girls do do that because they think they might have a shot at COB and don't want to miss out on a whole year before they can rush again. At UVA for example, last year, most of the houses picked up several kids via COB. I think only one house didn't participate. My DD knows several friends who did COB and got into houses they had been dropped from during the formal rush process so it's a good option.

NP. This is so confusing to me. If you get dropped from a house during rush, why would they then pick you up during COB?

Because it’s purely a numbers game, literally done via computer. So if someone got dropped it’s because they had someone else ranked higher and that kid had them ranked highly so the person ranked lower got dropped. Didn’t mean that they didn’t like the person, so when they had open slots, they don’t use the computer ranking and so it’s easier to get in if you continue to have good conversations etc during the COB process.

Ranking human beings. Nice.

Oh the horror! I hope your DC does not play a sport, get grades, have a GPA or want a job someday. People are always ranked in everything they do. You don’t just hire everyone that shows up to the interview, do you? You meet them, interview them and see if they can not only do your job but fit your culture. It’s the same thing.

It’s not the same at all.

Agreed! Really not that difficult to see the differences.