Purdue President’s Op-Ed

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Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references. Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible

man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.

OP here. Yes, I am a woman. Do you think the actual requests and commands that he mentions are appropriate? I hear this type of thing over and over from people who work in colleges and even at workplaces. The infantalizing of our adult children has to stop.

But not a single mention of men. It's mean-spirited at best but more accurately a reflection of the diretion this country is headed. We are no longer moving forward as women. I feel it in my life everyday. Being belittled and looked down on by men. So some moms can't let go. Of course I believe that. But so the hell what? Why do I care? I don't do that. What I do see everyday is my husband leaving every single aspect of parenting to me. Treating me as if I'm the hire help, even as I hold down a full-time, WOH job, and he doesn't. This guy is a sexist and is joining the whilte men chorus in taking women back down. Wake up.

You obviously didn't read the op-ed. While I am no fan of the former Indiana governor, I have been a professor for 20 years, and I empathize with the sentiment expressed in the op-ed. 90% of the parental involvement, nay, intrusion, with regard to college student experience comes from mothers. I'm sure this is due to a number of sociological and cultural factors, but yes, moms need to back off.

I'm a professor too--have taught at 3 very different kinds of institutions over 2 decades. Be honest what percentage of parental involvement have you experienced directly? Total up your students. Give a percentage of how many you have taught that you have had ANY contact with their parents outside of graduation, let alone egregious involvement. Your 90% figure is meaningless a commentary on moms, if it's anywhere like mine, less than 1% of my students.

Right on professor! That first "professor" clearly isn't one at my child's prestigious university, because they lack any ability for critical thinking. Obviously another woman-hating man.

Critical thinking goes both ways. I'd be wary of arguing with "only a few." If a college had only a handful of transgender students, and the president wrote an op-ed about policies enacted to protect those students, would you also say that only 1% is meaningless?

Your point makes no sense. The issue is the making a commentary about "moms" and then describing the behavior of a few "moms" he finds problematic when the reality is that anyone who works in higher ed knows this represents a tiny percentage of students' mothers. This isn't like protecting the interests of a small minority like transgender students.

I have a similar less than 1% of students who complain about their grades, give excuses I find laughable, make unreasonable demands like me recounting all we covered in a class that they missed. Does that mean I should write commentaries on how my students as a whole need to be less annoying and entitled? Should I comment that it tends to be the white men who do this more and therefore extend that to my critique of white male students writ large? No, it means like all social situations there are going to be a few people whose behavior I find problematic and I complain about their individual behaviors and not extend it to the group to which I think they belong.

Um, professors, I don’t think any of you understood the first professor’s post. They said 90% of parental involvement comes from mothers. Not that 90% of their students’ mothers get involved. It could be 90% of your 1% for that professor.

That was exactly my point. The prior professor agreed with the op-ed that "moms need to back off" because 90% of their experience of parental involvement was moms. But never clarified what the overall percentage of parental involvement was. If it's less than 1% of parents involved at all, it is bad reasoning to think that they have anything meaningful to comment on "moms" as a broad category.

I'm the first professor. There are a lot of things that involve just a tiny, tiny percentage of students, but take up a disproportionate amount of mental energy--like moms emailing professors about their child's low grade. The vast majority of my students' parents are hands off, but I have had a handful of nightmare scenarios with parents, in my case 100% moms, who were massive drains on my time and energy. On a couple of occasions, their complaints would escalate up to chairs, then deans, and on up. If you're an assistant professor or an adjunct, these sorts of complaints cause a tremendous amount stress because you are afraid of losing your job over it.
As I said, I'm not a fan of the Purdue president, but I don't know of a single long-time professor who hasn't had an experience with a disgruntled parent.
Yes, the president does sound old and out-of-touch with his mother's day rhetoric, but the point of helicopter moms is not completely off base.

Sure, out of my decades as a professor I've had a couple encounters with disgruntled parents (as well as students, administrators, colleagues) who absorb far more energy than they should. This is the case in any workplace--the disgruntled few absorb far more energy than the vast majority. But as a tiny percentage, they represent themselves not some larger category--I can't make judgments on moms, dads, race, gender etc. based on what a few people do. Surely you grasp this if you are a professor.

I don't think that the Purdue president is trying to disparage all mothers. He begins with an overly fawning and romanticized description of mothers, but then goes into the few that end up being the focus of the op-ed. I would personally be in favor of a policy that told professors to immediately disregard all parental contact. But, of course, no university will do that for fear of eliminating donations.

DP. Which was, of course, deeply sexist.

I’d be fine with a policy like you suggest and yet based on this, I’d never send a child to Purdue because of the remarkably blatant sexism on display from the head of the whole school. I’d be worried about her safety. If she was groped by a professor during office hours (happened to my college roommate so this is something I lived up close), I don’t see how an administration led by someone as comfortable with casual sexism as this president is would be trustworthy.

Look, the article is tone deaf, even if it makes a valid point about helicopter moms. However, I wouldn't give up on an entire university based on this op-ed. If your daughter were sexually harassed by a prof, there's a significant chance that the president wouldn't even hear about it. Most professors, even at a place like Purude, are politically liberal, don't condone sexual harassment of any kind, and will stand up for students who are wronged by faculty.

It tells stories of a few crazed helicopter moms and says they are a problem. I hardly think that's a meaningful valid point--more like 'aren't these obviously ridiculous things ridiculous.' followed by casual sexism and generalizations.
And leadership at a university matters and it does shape how concerns are addressed and heard. Accusations of sexual harassment/assault are dealt with by administrators and hr, not fellow faculty.

+1

The overall message out of this editorial of endemic sexism at Purdue is not what the author intended but which is useful to understand.

I'm really surprised someone didn't stop him from publishing this. There's zero upside and a whole lot of downside. They already struggle so much to attract/keep female students. Casual sexism on the part of the president just plays into all the stereotypes that will prevent their success.

Adding: They were already nudging close to the 60% mark of gender imbalance that often then marks a turning point in ever trying to attract a more even group. I have a high achieving (so far) DD sophomore who will likely be looking into CS/Engineering programs--I showed her the op-ed and it seemed sexist and way outdated to her (even as she said the examples of moms also seemed crazy). I was going to suggest Purdue be among the schools we visit on our trip to visit midwestern relatives this summer since its engineering program is so highly ranked, but we both just got a bad taste from this. Fortunately, she already has plenty of other great U's she wants to look at in the midwest (currently UIUC, CWRU, U of M).

Yeah, I showed this to my junior son who skimmed it and then shrugged and said “ok so that one’s out.”

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references. Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible

man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.

OP here. Yes, I am a woman. Do you think the actual requests and commands that he mentions are appropriate? I hear this type of thing over and over from people who work in colleges and even at workplaces. The infantalizing of our adult children has to stop.

But not a single mention of men. It's mean-spirited at best but more accurately a reflection of the diretion this country is headed. We are no longer moving forward as women. I feel it in my life everyday. Being belittled and looked down on by men. So some moms can't let go. Of course I believe that. But so the hell what? Why do I care? I don't do that. What I do see everyday is my husband leaving every single aspect of parenting to me. Treating me as if I'm the hire help, even as I hold down a full-time, WOH job, and he doesn't. This guy is a sexist and is joining the whilte men chorus in taking women back down. Wake up.

You obviously didn't read the op-ed. While I am no fan of the former Indiana governor, I have been a professor for 20 years, and I empathize with the sentiment expressed in the op-ed. 90% of the parental involvement, nay, intrusion, with regard to college student experience comes from mothers. I'm sure this is due to a number of sociological and cultural factors, but yes, moms need to back off.

I'm a professor too--have taught at 3 very different kinds of institutions over 2 decades. Be honest what percentage of parental involvement have you experienced directly? Total up your students. Give a percentage of how many you have taught that you have had ANY contact with their parents outside of graduation, let alone egregious involvement. Your 90% figure is meaningless a commentary on moms, if it's anywhere like mine, less than 1% of my students.

Right on professor! That first "professor" clearly isn't one at my child's prestigious university, because they lack any ability for critical thinking. Obviously another woman-hating man.

Critical thinking goes both ways. I'd be wary of arguing with "only a few." If a college had only a handful of transgender students, and the president wrote an op-ed about policies enacted to protect those students, would you also say that only 1% is meaningless?

Your point makes no sense. The issue is the making a commentary about "moms" and then describing the behavior of a few "moms" he finds problematic when the reality is that anyone who works in higher ed knows this represents a tiny percentage of students' mothers. This isn't like protecting the interests of a small minority like transgender students.

I have a similar less than 1% of students who complain about their grades, give excuses I find laughable, make unreasonable demands like me recounting all we covered in a class that they missed. Does that mean I should write commentaries on how my students as a whole need to be less annoying and entitled? Should I comment that it tends to be the white men who do this more and therefore extend that to my critique of white male students writ large? No, it means like all social situations there are going to be a few people whose behavior I find problematic and I complain about their individual behaviors and not extend it to the group to which I think they belong.

Um, professors, I don’t think any of you understood the first professor’s post. They said 90% of parental involvement comes from mothers. Not that 90% of their students’ mothers get involved. It could be 90% of your 1% for that professor.

That was exactly my point. The prior professor agreed with the op-ed that "moms need to back off" because 90% of their experience of parental involvement was moms. But never clarified what the overall percentage of parental involvement was. If it's less than 1% of parents involved at all, it is bad reasoning to think that they have anything meaningful to comment on "moms" as a broad category.

I'm the first professor. There are a lot of things that involve just a tiny, tiny percentage of students, but take up a disproportionate amount of mental energy--like moms emailing professors about their child's low grade. The vast majority of my students' parents are hands off, but I have had a handful of nightmare scenarios with parents, in my case 100% moms, who were massive drains on my time and energy. On a couple of occasions, their complaints would escalate up to chairs, then deans, and on up. If you're an assistant professor or an adjunct, these sorts of complaints cause a tremendous amount stress because you are afraid of losing your job over it.
As I said, I'm not a fan of the Purdue president, but I don't know of a single long-time professor who hasn't had an experience with a disgruntled parent.
Yes, the president does sound old and out-of-touch with his mother's day rhetoric, but the point of helicopter moms is not completely off base.

Sure, out of my decades as a professor I've had a couple encounters with disgruntled parents (as well as students, administrators, colleagues) who absorb far more energy than they should. This is the case in any workplace--the disgruntled few absorb far more energy than the vast majority. But as a tiny percentage, they represent themselves not some larger category--I can't make judgments on moms, dads, race, gender etc. based on what a few people do. Surely you grasp this if you are a professor.

I don't think that the Purdue president is trying to disparage all mothers. He begins with an overly fawning and romanticized description of mothers, but then goes into the few that end up being the focus of the op-ed. I would personally be in favor of a policy that told professors to immediately disregard all parental contact. But, of course, no university will do that for fear of eliminating donations.

DP. Which was, of course, deeply sexist.

I’d be fine with a policy like you suggest and yet based on this, I’d never send a child to Purdue because of the remarkably blatant sexism on display from the head of the whole school. I’d be worried about her safety. If she was groped by a professor during office hours (happened to my college roommate so this is something I lived up close), I don’t see how an administration led by someone as comfortable with casual sexism as this president is would be trustworthy.

Look, the article is tone deaf, even if it makes a valid point about helicopter moms. However, I wouldn't give up on an entire university based on this op-ed. If your daughter were sexually harassed by a prof, there's a significant chance that the president wouldn't even hear about it. Most professors, even at a place like Purude, are politically liberal, don't condone sexual harassment of any kind, and will stand up for students who are wronged by faculty.

It tells stories of a few crazed helicopter moms and says they are a problem. I hardly think that's a meaningful valid point--more like 'aren't these obviously ridiculous things ridiculous.' followed by casual sexism and generalizations.
And leadership at a university matters and it does shape how concerns are addressed and heard. Accusations of sexual harassment/assault are dealt with by administrators and hr, not fellow faculty.

+1

The overall message out of this editorial of endemic sexism at Purdue is not what the author intended but which is useful to understand.

I'm really surprised someone didn't stop him from publishing this. There's zero upside and a whole lot of downside. They already struggle so much to attract/keep female students. Casual sexism on the part of the president just plays into all the stereotypes that will prevent their success.

Agree. It suggests bad judgment from the top of the organization. Practically speaking, I don’t want to send several hundred thousand dollars to an entity led by a president with bad judgment. Plenty of other excellent options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So happy to read this and support him 100%. So proud of my DD attending Purdue!

Sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s obviously not wrong but 1) there’s nothing unique about his message, I recently read How to Raise an Adult, similar vibe, he’s covering well trodden ground, 2) calling out mothers when he even goes on to note it’s fathers too seems to be rather sexist, 3) it’s an odd article to run on Mother’s Day weekend, which I guess is as much the WP’s decision as Daniels, 4) I think the use of the really over the top examples dilutes the overall message - most people are not impersonating their kids.

Citing a handful of egregious examples, that no one defends, over years of overseeing literally tens of thousands of students and parents, does not make him “not wrong” or “right” on the op Ed as whole — for which he’s egregiously wrong.

I’m the PP and that’s a fair point. I guess I was just trying to acknowledge this over parenting thing comes up enough that there’s obviously something going on with it these days but I totally agree with you, and it’s just snide and mean spirited on Mothers Day weekend. I actually didn’t love How to Raise an Adult for similar reasons, the book isn’t sexist but it relies on over the top examples to make its points.

[Anonymous]

Some of the examples are over the top and it's impossible to know the frequency of these interactions. More broadly though... at age 18 one may join the military, serve on a jury, and vote - all without any parental participation. Even marriage! His timing and delivery is terrible, but in the era of 24/7 instant communication the mismatch between the legal realities and some of our 'help" is striking.

[Anonymous]

Aside from the sexism, this feels problematic coming from a university administrator who has overseen a sharp increase in fees. There is a not-so-subtle “just give me your money and don’t ask questions” message here from someone who has personally become wealthy off tuition paid by those same parents he is slamming on Mother’s Day. It feels a bit like he doesn’t want people to question where all the money is going, and is using over-the-top examples to prevent any reasonable questioning. How much does this guy earn? How much has Purdue tuition risen while he’s been in charge? What bonus structures does he benefit from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aside from the sexism, this feels problematic coming from a university administrator who has overseen a sharp increase in fees. There is a not-so-subtle “just give me your money and don’t ask questions” message here from someone who has personally become wealthy off tuition paid by those same parents he is slamming on Mother’s Day. It feels a bit like he doesn’t want people to question where all the money is going, and is using over-the-top examples to prevent any reasonable questioning. How much does this guy earn? How much has Purdue tuition risen while he’s been in charge? What bonus structures does he benefit from?

yes, the patronizing pat on the head: ok mommy, send us your kid, pay us $80k and don't ask questions. Just leave it us to us. And pretend backhanded mom love: bless you, even you crazies, we'll you our best, but move along little mommy. Happy Mother's Day! A little too "why don't you just lay back an enjoy the ride."

"So, bless all the moms, and dads, including those who go a little over the edge.
We’ll do our best to be responsive.
But remember: When your kid graduated from high school, maybe it was time for you to graduate, too.
Happy Mother’s Day to all".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s obviously not wrong but 1) there’s nothing unique about his message, I recently read How to Raise an Adult, similar vibe, he’s covering well trodden ground, 2) calling out mothers when he even goes on to note it’s fathers too seems to be rather sexist, 3) it’s an odd article to run on Mother’s Day weekend, which I guess is as much the WP’s decision as Daniels, 4) I think the use of the really over the top examples dilutes the overall message - most people are not impersonating their kids.

Citing a handful of egregious examples, that no one defends, over years of overseeing literally tens of thousands of students and parents, does not make him “not wrong” or “right” on the op Ed as whole — for which he’s egregiously wrong.

I’m the PP and that’s a fair point. I guess I was just trying to acknowledge this over parenting thing comes up enough that there’s obviously something going on with it these days but I totally agree with you, and it’s just snide and mean spirited on Mothers Day weekend. I actually didn’t love How to Raise an Adult for similar reasons, the book isn’t sexist but it relies on over the top examples to make its points.

There's scholarly evidence that the kinds of overparenting described in the op-ed are problematic, but I haven't seen anything except these kinds of random commentaries and pop psychologist assertions about its prevalence without any numbers. I am unsure on whether or not it's far more prevalent than it used to be. I think we just see a lot of over-the-top examples in social media that we never had access to before and pop psychologists know parenting critiques sell. This is the same genre who warned against 'refrigerator moms' causing autism, delved into a lot of pseudo-Freudian crud, and has for centuries spouted as truth a whole lot of nonsense mixed in with some sense. So moms are all led to believe that we're all doing too much helicoptering, but all people will cite are the less than 1% of moms they have experienced doing crazy s**t.

In some ways, parents used to control far more of adolescent's/early adult children's big life decisions in generations past-- parents often chose whether you went to college or not, what college, what your major was etc. Parents exerted a lot more resistance to your moving away from the neighborhood, on maintaining religious ties etc. A lot of people were coerced into the family business. Fathers were asked for their daughter's hands in marriage. I have two aunts who were expected to live with their parents until they got married who only finally moved out on their own in their 50s. While people used to take on adult roles sooner in generations past, they also often didn't have a lot of freedom in those roles. The flavor of exerting parental control has changed over the years to be sure, but I'm not convinced the magnitude has. In some ways some parents might be doing these crazy anxious things because they have less control than prior generations.

Just as I'm sure the extreme examples of overparenting are problematic, I'm not sure leaving 18 year olds on their own as they figure out 'what they want to do' as they are taking difficult courses, juggling mental health issues, dealing with crappy college technical infrastructure and accruing debt at expensive private universities like Purdue is in their best interests. I haven't been that involved yet in my own college-aged kid's school life (never called anyone at the school yet and he's a junior) but he's consulted with me on course scheduling, on finding housing, on housing lease issues, on some relationship concerns, dealing with a bank error, with health insurance questions and the like. He knows how to cook, shop, do laundry. He's long had a part-time job. I worry that he hasn't thought too much about careers, isn't that proactive about internships so I text event notices I see from his college to him. Most of the parents I know are similar in their involvement. I think we represent the norm, and I think we are fairly reasonable. I think Purdue's president is cherry-picking examples to make a sexist point.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If he were a true academic, he would have written something deeper to ask good questions about how we got to this place, about the role that society seeks of mothers, of why parents can't let go, why college is seen as such a make or break situation, etc. Instead he took a smarmy, look how clever and superior I am approach.

Don't be naive. It's an op-ed that the WaPo chose to run because it would garner a lot of clicks. You don't think that this college president, who was a politician, understands the difference? College presidents are first and foremost rain makers.

He won't be rainmaking for long.

+1. I’m filing this under “f—k around and find out”.

+2. After the smug tone of his editorial, I can’t wait until he loses his job in disgrace. Hopefully it’s a slow news day, so that gets the amount of press coverage he richly deserves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely will discourage DD from applying there because of this op-ed.
I'm convinced if confronted with a complaint of inappropriate sexual activity (assault, rape, etc) made by a female student, "lay back and enjoy" or "make lemonade from lemons" would be in his sweep-this-under-the-rug rationale.

Please do! My junior has the school on his list as it is tops for engineering and with every student not applying his future ed app looks stronger

Sorry your kid isn’t competitive on his own merits, but you probably should stop broadcasting that on the internet.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references. Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible

man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.

OP here. Yes, I am a woman. Do you think the actual requests and commands that he mentions are appropriate? I hear this type of thing over and over from people who work in colleges and even at workplaces. The infantalizing of our adult children has to stop.

But not a single mention of men. It's mean-spirited at best but more accurately a reflection of the diretion this country is headed. We are no longer moving forward as women. I feel it in my life everyday. Being belittled and looked down on by men. So some moms can't let go. Of course I believe that. But so the hell what? Why do I care? I don't do that. What I do see everyday is my husband leaving every single aspect of parenting to me. Treating me as if I'm the hire help, even as I hold down a full-time, WOH job, and he doesn't. This guy is a sexist and is joining the whilte men chorus in taking women back down. Wake up.

You obviously didn't read the op-ed. While I am no fan of the former Indiana governor, I have been a professor for 20 years, and I empathize with the sentiment expressed in the op-ed. 90% of the parental involvement, nay, intrusion, with regard to college student experience comes from mothers. I'm sure this is due to a number of sociological and cultural factors, but yes, moms need to back off.

I'm a professor too--have taught at 3 very different kinds of institutions over 2 decades. Be honest what percentage of parental involvement have you experienced directly? Total up your students. Give a percentage of how many you have taught that you have had ANY contact with their parents outside of graduation, let alone egregious involvement. Your 90% figure is meaningless a commentary on moms, if it's anywhere like mine, less than 1% of my students.

Right on professor! That first "professor" clearly isn't one at my child's prestigious university, because they lack any ability for critical thinking. Obviously another woman-hating man.

Critical thinking goes both ways. I'd be wary of arguing with "only a few." If a college had only a handful of transgender students, and the president wrote an op-ed about policies enacted to protect those students, would you also say that only 1% is meaningless?

Your point makes no sense. The issue is the making a commentary about "moms" and then describing the behavior of a few "moms" he finds problematic when the reality is that anyone who works in higher ed knows this represents a tiny percentage of students' mothers. This isn't like protecting the interests of a small minority like transgender students.

I have a similar less than 1% of students who complain about their grades, give excuses I find laughable, make unreasonable demands like me recounting all we covered in a class that they missed. Does that mean I should write commentaries on how my students as a whole need to be less annoying and entitled? Should I comment that it tends to be the white men who do this more and therefore extend that to my critique of white male students writ large? No, it means like all social situations there are going to be a few people whose behavior I find problematic and I complain about their individual behaviors and not extend it to the group to which I think they belong.

Um, professors, I don’t think any of you understood the first professor’s post. They said 90% of parental involvement comes from mothers. Not that 90% of their students’ mothers get involved. It could be 90% of your 1% for that professor.

That was exactly my point. The prior professor agreed with the op-ed that "moms need to back off" because 90% of their experience of parental involvement was moms. But never clarified what the overall percentage of parental involvement was. If it's less than 1% of parents involved at all, it is bad reasoning to think that they have anything meaningful to comment on "moms" as a broad category.

I'm the first professor. There are a lot of things that involve just a tiny, tiny percentage of students, but take up a disproportionate amount of mental energy--like moms emailing professors about their child's low grade. The vast majority of my students' parents are hands off, but I have had a handful of nightmare scenarios with parents, in my case 100% moms, who were massive drains on my time and energy. On a couple of occasions, their complaints would escalate up to chairs, then deans, and on up. If you're an assistant professor or an adjunct, these sorts of complaints cause a tremendous amount stress because you are afraid of losing your job over it.
As I said, I'm not a fan of the Purdue president, but I don't know of a single long-time professor who hasn't had an experience with a disgruntled parent.
Yes, the president does sound old and out-of-touch with his mother's day rhetoric, but the point of helicopter moms is not completely off base.

Sure, out of my decades as a professor I've had a couple encounters with disgruntled parents (as well as students, administrators, colleagues) who absorb far more energy than they should. This is the case in any workplace--the disgruntled few absorb far more energy than the vast majority. But as a tiny percentage, they represent themselves not some larger category--I can't make judgments on moms, dads, race, gender etc. based on what a few people do. Surely you grasp this if you are a professor.

I don't think that the Purdue president is trying to disparage all mothers. He begins with an overly fawning and romanticized description of mothers, but then goes into the few that end up being the focus of the op-ed. I would personally be in favor of a policy that told professors to immediately disregard all parental contact. But, of course, no university will do that for fear of eliminating donations.

DP. Which was, of course, deeply sexist.

I’d be fine with a policy like you suggest and yet based on this, I’d never send a child to Purdue because of the remarkably blatant sexism on display from the head of the whole school. I’d be worried about her safety. If she was groped by a professor during office hours (happened to my college roommate so this is something I lived up close), I don’t see how an administration led by someone as comfortable with casual sexism as this president is would be trustworthy.

Look, the article is tone deaf, even if it makes a valid point about helicopter moms. However, I wouldn't give up on an entire university based on this op-ed. If your daughter were sexually harassed by a prof, there's a significant chance that the president wouldn't even hear about it. Most professors, even at a place like Purude, are politically liberal, don't condone sexual harassment of any kind, and will stand up for students who are wronged by faculty.

It tells stories of a few crazed helicopter moms and says they are a problem. I hardly think that's a meaningful valid point--more like 'aren't these obviously ridiculous things ridiculous.' followed by casual sexism and generalizations.
And leadership at a university matters and it does shape how concerns are addressed and heard. Accusations of sexual harassment/assault are dealt with by administrators and hr, not fellow faculty.

+1

The overall message out of this editorial of endemic sexism at Purdue is not what the author intended but which is useful to understand.

I'm really surprised someone didn't stop him from publishing this. There's zero upside and a whole lot of downside. They already struggle so much to attract/keep female students. Casual sexism on the part of the president just plays into all the stereotypes that will prevent their success.

Adding: They were already nudging close to the 60% mark of gender imbalance that often then marks a turning point in ever trying to attract a more even group. I have a high achieving (so far) DD sophomore who will likely be looking into CS/Engineering programs--I showed her the op-ed and it seemed sexist and way outdated to her (even as she said the examples of moms also seemed crazy). I was going to suggest Purdue be among the schools we visit on our trip to visit midwestern relatives this summer since its engineering program is so highly ranked, but we both just got a bad taste from this. Fortunately, she already has plenty of other great U's she wants to look at in the midwest (currently UIUC, CWRU, U of M).

Yeah, I showed this to my junior son who skimmed it and then shrugged and said “ok so that one’s out.”

Good job mom! You should be proud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he were a true academic, he would have written something deeper to ask good questions about how we got to this place, about the role that society seeks of mothers, of why parents can't let go, why college is seen as such a make or break situation, etc. Instead he took a smarmy, look how clever and superior I am approach.

Don't be naive. It's an op-ed that the WaPo chose to run because it would garner a lot of clicks. You don't think that this college president, who was a politician, understands the difference? College presidents are first and foremost rain makers.

He won't be rainmaking for long.

+1. I’m filing this under “f—k around and find out”.

+2. After the smug tone of his editorial, I can’t wait until he loses his job in disgrace. Hopefully it’s a slow news day, so that gets the amount of press coverage he richly deserves.

Oh, I don't think his job will be in danger at all. But I sense a big wake up call that we really need to check out these schools, their admin, and the states they're in, especially for our daughters. Purdue will continue to wonder why it falls behind in the M/F balance and its failure to get women into engineering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So happy to read this and support him 100%. So proud of my DD attending Purdue!

HAHAHAHAHA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he were a true academic, he would have written something deeper to ask good questions about how we got to this place, about the role that society seeks of mothers, of why parents can't let go, why college is seen as such a make or break situation, etc. Instead he took a smarmy, look how clever and superior I am approach.

Don't be naive. It's an op-ed that the WaPo chose to run because it would garner a lot of clicks. You don't think that this college president, who was a politician, understands the difference? College presidents are first and foremost rain makers.

He won't be rainmaking for long.

+1. I’m filing this under “f—k around and find out”.

+2. After the smug tone of his editorial, I can’t wait until he loses his job in disgrace. Hopefully it’s a slow news day, so that gets the amount of press coverage he richly deserves.

Oh, I don't think his job will be in danger at all. But I sense a big wake up call that we really need to check out these schools, their admin, and the states they're in, especially for our daughters. Purdue will continue to wonder why it falls behind in the M/F balance and its failure to get women into engineering.

+1 And attract female faculty. I know one who turned down an endowed chair which would have offered a higher income in a lower COL area because she got this vibe from there. I don't think it will cost him his job though because the school has made a lot of gains esp. in engineering in part because of his deep ties to businesses etc. And his views are in line with much of the state. The school will likely do just fine albeit with a crappy gender balance. But my eyes have definitely been more opened to what to discuss about schools/states with my DD going through the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aside from the sexism, this feels problematic coming from a university administrator who has overseen a sharp increase in fees. There is a not-so-subtle “just give me your money and don’t ask questions” message here from someone who has personally become wealthy off tuition paid by those same parents he is slamming on Mother’s Day. It feels a bit like he doesn’t want people to question where all the money is going, and is using over-the-top examples to prevent any reasonable questioning. How much does this guy earn? How much has Purdue tuition risen while he’s been in charge? What bonus structures does he benefit from?

yes, the patronizing pat on the head: ok mommy, send us your kid, pay us $80k and don't ask questions. Just leave it us to us. And pretend backhanded mom love: bless you, even you crazies, we'll you our best, but move along little mommy. Happy Mother's Day! A little too "why don't you just lay back an enjoy the ride."

"So, bless all the moms, and dads, including those who go a little over the edge.
We’ll do our best to be responsive.
But remember: When your kid graduated from high school, maybe it was time for you to graduate, too.
Happy Mother’s Day to all".

Exactly.