Purdue President’s Op-Ed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references. Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible

man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.

OP here. Yes, I am a woman. Do you think the actual requests and commands that he mentions are appropriate? I hear this type of thing over and over from people who work in colleges and even at workplaces. The infantalizing of our adult children has to stop.

But not a single mention of men. It's mean-spirited at best but more accurately a reflection of the diretion this country is headed. We are no longer moving forward as women. I feel it in my life everyday. Being belittled and looked down on by men. So some moms can't let go. Of course I believe that. But so the hell what? Why do I care? I don't do that. What I do see everyday is my husband leaving every single aspect of parenting to me. Treating me as if I'm the hire help, even as I hold down a full-time, WOH job, and he doesn't. This guy is a sexist and is joining the whilte men chorus in taking women back down. Wake up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure on the timing of this with Mother's Day but he isn't wrong. The FB page for my son's class is 99% mothers posting ridiculous things. Most recently the mother who registered her child for classes because her daughter was too busy. Then when she couldn't get the class she wanted for her DD she switched back to Mom role and called the dept head to get her DD into the class. That is just the latest.

You know who doesn't post this shit? Dads.

Agree, the FB group for my son's college is full of moms posting the kind of things that kids need to figure out themselves. There are several who are posting descriptions of their kids and trying to make roommate matches on the parents group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references. Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible

man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.

OP here. Yes, I am a woman. Do you think the actual requests and commands that he mentions are appropriate? I hear this type of thing over and over from people who work in colleges and even at workplaces. The infantalizing of our adult children has to stop.

But not a single mention of men. It's mean-spirited at best but more accurately a reflection of the diretion this country is headed. We are no longer moving forward as women. I feel it in my life everyday. Being belittled and looked down on by men. So some moms can't let go. Of course I believe that. But so the hell what? Why do I care? I don't do that. What I do see everyday is my husband leaving every single aspect of parenting to me. Treating me as if I'm the hire help, even as I hold down a full-time, WOH job, and he doesn't. This guy is a sexist and is joining the whilte men chorus in taking women back down. Wake up.

Did you read the op-ed? He does mention men and fathers and says they do not submit anywhere near the number of questions as mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references. Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible

man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.

OP here. Yes, I am a woman. Do you think the actual requests and commands that he mentions are appropriate? I hear this type of thing over and over from people who work in colleges and even at workplaces. The infantalizing of our adult children has to stop.

But not a single mention of men. It's mean-spirited at best but more accurately a reflection of the diretion this country is headed. We are no longer moving forward as women. I feel it in my life everyday. Being belittled and looked down on by men. So some moms can't let go. Of course I believe that. But so the hell what? Why do I care? I don't do that. What I do see everyday is my husband leaving every single aspect of parenting to me. Treating me as if I'm the hire help, even as I hold down a full-time, WOH job, and he doesn't. This guy is a sexist and is joining the whilte men chorus in taking women back down. Wake up.

Sounds like you have a husband problem, not a society as a whole problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure on the timing of this with Mother's Day but he isn't wrong. The FB page for my son's class is 99% mothers posting ridiculous things. Most recently the mother who registered her child for classes because her daughter was too busy. Then when she couldn't get the class she wanted for her DD she switched back to Mom role and called the dept head to get her DD into the class. That is just the latest.

You know who doesn't post this shit? Dads.

You know why they don't? Because they don't have a clue about their children's lives. What those moms do is wrong. But they are in the minority. Dads, however, as a whole, do not participate in parenting except on the sidelines of sporthing events. Let's have a Father's Day "Op ed" dabout the d***heads littering the sidelines at kid's lacrosse games, shall we?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references. Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible

man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.

OP here. Yes, I am a woman. Do you think the actual requests and commands that he mentions are appropriate? I hear this type of thing over and over from people who work in colleges and even at workplaces. The infantalizing of our adult children has to stop.

But not a single mention of men. It's mean-spirited at best but more accurately a reflection of the diretion this country is headed. We are no longer moving forward as women. I feel it in my life everyday. Being belittled and looked down on by men. So some moms can't let go. Of course I believe that. But so the hell what? Why do I care? I don't do that. What I do see everyday is my husband leaving every single aspect of parenting to me. Treating me as if I'm the hire help, even as I hold down a full-time, WOH job, and he doesn't. This guy is a sexist and is joining the whilte men chorus in taking women back down. Wake up.

Did you read the op-ed? He does mention men and fathers and says they do not submit anywhere near the number of questions as mothers.

And guess what, they also never attended parent-teacher conferences, made doctor's appointments, filled out schol and camp forms, picked up prescriptions. hired babysitters, cooked, cleaned, helped with homework. There is absolutely no reason for a high profile op-ed trashing mothers over one aspect he sees. No reason. Men do not contribution to the lives of their chldren and instead treat women like the hired help. I don't if this guy is married or a parent, but if so, I feel deeply sorry for his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references. Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.

Are you joking? Not OP, but not very impressed by your argument. I love for people to express their opionons. That is what makes us great! It is name calling as a retort that will tear us apart as a society. Just because you don't have the skills to argue with this man, doesn't make him all the names you called him.

Build a logical argument, consider the other side, consider where he might be correct, then rebuttal. Seriously, name calling is for kids, not smart adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure on the timing of this with Mother's Day but he isn't wrong. The FB page for my son's class is 99% mothers posting ridiculous things. Most recently the mother who registered her child for classes because her daughter was too busy. Then when she couldn't get the class she wanted for her DD she switched back to Mom role and called the dept head to get her DD into the class. That is just the latest.

You know who doesn't post this shit? Dads.

You know why they don't? Because they don't have a clue about their children's lives. What those moms do is wrong. But they are in the minority. Dads, however, as a whole, do not participate in parenting except on the sidelines of sporthing events. Let's have a Father's Day "Op ed" dabout the d***heads littering the sidelines at kid's lacrosse games, shall we?

Go for it. But stop with the whataboutism. The behavior cited in the op-ed is wrong. It's so weird why people are claiming sexism instead of acknowledging this is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references. Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible

man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.

OP here. Yes, I am a woman. Do you think the actual requests and commands that he mentions are appropriate? I hear this type of thing over and over from people who work in colleges and even at workplaces. The infantalizing of our adult children has to stop.

But not a single mention of men. It's mean-spirited at best but more accurately a reflection of the diretion this country is headed. We are no longer moving forward as women. I feel it in my life everyday. Being belittled and looked down on by men. So some moms can't let go. Of course I believe that. But so the hell what? Why do I care? I don't do that. What I do see everyday is my husband leaving every single aspect of parenting to me. Treating me as if I'm the hire help, even as I hold down a full-time, WOH job, and he doesn't. This guy is a sexist and is joining the whilte men chorus in taking women back down. Wake up.

Did you read the op-ed? He does mention men and fathers and says they do not submit anywhere near the number of questions as mothers.

And guess what, they also never attended parent-teacher conferences, made doctor's appointments, filled out schol and camp forms, picked up prescriptions. hired babysitters, cooked, cleaned, helped with homework. There is absolutely no reason for a high profile op-ed trashing mothers over one aspect he sees. No reason. Men do not contribution to the lives of their chldren and instead treat women like the hired help. I don't if this guy is married or a parent, but if so, I feel deeply sorry for his wife.

This sounds like the PP with the husband problem. My husband absolutely contributes to the lives of my children.

[Anonymous]

All of the examples he cites are indeed ridiculous instances of parental helicoptering except one rather shocking one: why is he so contemptuous of parents pointing out the need for better lighting on parts of any campus, even one that’s very safe?

As others have noted, though, the tone is incredibly off-putting. This line was ridiculous too: “In a country where so many social sadnesses are the consequence of irresponsible, neglectful parenting, one cannot fault those who love their children to the point of overprotection.” “Social sadnesses” is not how I would describe the country’s terrible gun violence situation, nor the entrenched poverty in parts of every state, nor the opioid epidemic, just as a few examples. And I’m sure there parenting failures are a factor in many of these tragedies. However, so are social policies including many pushed by Republicans, especially those that focus on financial policies benefiting corporations and rich families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he were a true academic, he would have written something deeper to ask good questions about how we got to this place, about the role that society seeks of mothers, of why parents can't let go, why college is seen as such a make or break situation, etc. Instead he took a smarmy, look how clever and superior I am approach.

+1

And how does he think kids accomplish all they do by age 17 for college applications? They want kids who’ve changed the world by 17, but they think they're doing this without parental management and intervention? Hah. You got what you wanted, buddy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why oh why would the Post run such a sexist, mean, pointless "op-ed." He better do one for Father's Day. For instance, when high schools create activities and require parents to bring food, decorations, etc. and of the 10 families on the team, 7 women sign up, make food, buy ballons, etc. and not a single man, why isn't this a problem? Maybe if fathers did a tenth of the parenting that mothers do, we wouldn't all be batshit crazy by the time they get to college. If you are a woman and a mother, this horrid piece of "writing" should do nothing but infuriate you.

Agree! The women agreeing with him benefit off the patriarchy + put Trump + other pigs in office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references. Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible

man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.

OP here. Yes, I am a woman. Do you think the actual requests and commands that he mentions are appropriate? I hear this type of thing over and over from people who work in colleges and even at workplaces. The infantalizing of our adult children has to stop.

But not a single mention of men. It's mean-spirited at best but more accurately a reflection of the diretion this country is headed. We are no longer moving forward as women. I feel it in my life everyday. Being belittled and looked down on by men. So some moms can't let go. Of course I believe that. But so the hell what? Why do I care? I don't do that. What I do see everyday is my husband leaving every single aspect of parenting to me. Treating me as if I'm the hire help, even as I hold down a full-time, WOH job, and he doesn't. This guy is a sexist and is joining the whilte men chorus in taking women back down. Wake up.

Did you read the op-ed? He does mention men and fathers and says they do not submit anywhere near the number of questions as mothers.

That was kind of the point of PP isn't it? So many men still opt out of parenting even as women are often working/earning more. So these men get to not worry about it--and get to not be considered "helicopters" (but are praised when they do more than the minimum!) Look at the stats on who figures out who schedules things like dentists, doctors, childcare etc when both parents are working full-time. Is that helicoptering? And then suddenly the guys are good because they continue to be as hands-off on the big picture stuff as much as they always were? I think we need to consider whether some styles of parenting are necessary or "helicoptering" --but a man condemning women for this given all that's going on? It's tone deaf. Or worse.

[Anonymous]

OMG what a Capital A arsehole to sh!t on mothers as a mothers day tribute!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references. Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible

man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.

OP here. Yes, I am a woman. Do you think the actual requests and commands that he mentions are appropriate? I hear this type of thing over and over from people who work in colleges and even at workplaces. The infantalizing of our adult children has to stop.

But not a single mention of men. It's mean-spirited at best but more accurately a reflection of the diretion this country is headed. We are no longer moving forward as women. I feel it in my life everyday. Being belittled and looked down on by men. So some moms can't let go. Of course I believe that. But so the hell what? Why do I care? I don't do that. What I do see everyday is my husband leaving every single aspect of parenting to me. Treating me as if I'm the hire help, even as I hold down a full-time, WOH job, and he doesn't. This guy is a sexist and is joining the whilte men chorus in taking women back down. Wake up.

Did you read the op-ed? He does mention men and fathers and says they do not submit anywhere near the number of questions as mothers.

That was kind of the point of PP isn't it? So many men still opt out of parenting even as women are often working/earning more. So these men get to not worry about it--and get to not be considered "helicopters" (but are praised when they do more than the minimum!) Look at the stats on who figures out who schedules things like dentists, doctors, childcare etc when both parents are working full-time. Is that helicoptering? And then suddenly the guys are good because they continue to be as hands-off on the big picture stuff as much as they always were? I think we need to consider whether some styles of parenting are necessary or "helicoptering" --but a man condemning women for this given all that's going on? It's tone deaf. Or worse.

The same people will shout neglect and lock her up if a kid misses a dental appointment or gets hurt on the playground.