If your kid was a top student and didn’t get into a top college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My white male perfect student got into 4 safeties and rejected/WL at 14 others for CS. It was insane. Saying he was a white male was application suicide.

Oh, come on; mine is far from perfect and got into 7 schools for CS.

Do you have to say your major?

NP: she did because she was responding to someone complaining about cs admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My white male perfect student got into 4 safeties and rejected/WL at 14 others for CS. It was insane. Saying he was a white male was application suicide.

What is your definition of "perfect?" Did he have skills, experiences and perspectives that added or made him stand out to the places he applied? Were his essays excellent? Did he submit supplements? Did he tailor supplemental essays to specifics of the universities? Did he demonstrate interest? Did he have regional, state and national (not AP Scholar) awards? Did he highlight honors and ECs well? Did he demonstrate leadership? That's what it takes. My kid did all that. She revised her essay and honors/ECs when early admissions didn't pan out. She kept workjng to earn more awards and dud. She also found much to love about her safeties should top schools not pan out. There are just not enough spaces for high achieving kids. What you think is perfect may not be enough or what the college is looking for. I really hope he finds things to love about his school. As a high achiever, he will do well wherever he goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s roughly 400 kids graduating from DCs school this year. The top kids have been in the same classes all 4 years and know each other’s ranking and test scores. The top 2% of graduating class (8 kids) all had 4.0 uw and 1500+ SATs. This is how acceptances went for them:

1. Carnegie Mellon (shut out of Ivies)
2. UMD (shut out of Ivies and top SLACs)
3. UMD (shut out of Ivies)
4. Johns Hopkins (recruited athlete)
5. Yale (first gen)
6. UMD
7. Penn (first gen)
8. Princeton (URM)

All great, hard working, top scores, excellent EC kids, but like PP said there just isn’t enough room for all high achievers at the tippy top.

And all eight are pathetic for knowing each other's grades, rankings, test scores, and college application choices and results -- and any parent who knows all of this about all eight is even more pathetic.

The kids share this information freely with each other and obsess over it for most of their senior year. Parents get the information without even trying. In fact, I think PP substituted UMD for another state school because it matches what I know about kids I’ve never met at our school.

Goodness gracious. Which HS is this?

I can almost -- almost understand kids "sharing this information freely." Almost. But "parents getting this information without even trying?" Nope. Certainly not to the point of remembering it all to the degree that this poster did. That takes effort. Unhealthy effort. Obsessive effort. Insane effort.

I'm PP who listed the class standings in the hope of showing that Ivy admissions is not the end all. There will be plenty of hard working and intelligent kids at your state school.

Unfortunately, I know that it is not like this at most schools, but I am so grateful for the experience that my DC had throughout school. Out of the 8 kids listed, 6 are routinely at my house. 5 of them have been together since 6th grade. What started out as mandatory group projects in my basement, evolved into weekly study sessions for whatever big test was coming up, to movie nights in my basement. Those 6 supported one another throughout high school. They were there for the sporting events, the break ups, and the poor grades. They studied for the SATs together and I even drove 3 to their testing days. They attended campus visits together and worked on applications. I was there with them since 6th grade celebrating their successes and being there for them in their defeats. I fed them, cheered them on at sporting events, and drove them everywhere imaginable just like their parents did for my DC.

I am so happy for these kids and I know that they will all go on to wonderful lives no matter where they go to college. They know the importance of teamwork and building others up. I wish that every kid had this opportunity in high school and for my DC as they head to college, I hope that they can find a similar group of people.

And I call complete and total BS although I congratulate you on your feeble attempt to back track and justify your obsession. It just so happens that the top 8 students in your kid's class of FOUR HUNDRED all happen to hang out at YOUR house and have been doing that since sixth grade? And, no, they're not competitive and neither are you and it's all about supporting each other yet they all know each others' precise GPAs, test scores, classes, college applications, acceptance/rejections, etc.?

Just. Stop. This is an anonymous forum. No reason to lie to us -- or yourself.

My eldest kid is a freshman in high school but my husband graduated from a public high school in 1992. He was #2 out of 400. His best friends and study group were numbers 1-8 (minus 1 or 2 numbers). he's still friends this group 35 years later! He could tell you now who got into Princeton and who did not (they were in NJ), who was a national merit finalist and who was not, etc.
the top kids tend to know each other, especially in schools where there aren't that many academically focused kids.

Your husband and the other poster are made for each other then. Pathetic. And most definitely NOT the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s roughly 400 kids graduating from DCs school this year. The top kids have been in the same classes all 4 years and know each other’s ranking and test scores. The top 2% of graduating class (8 kids) all had 4.0 uw and 1500+ SATs. This is how acceptances went for them:

1. Carnegie Mellon (shut out of Ivies)
2. UMD (shut out of Ivies and top SLACs)
3. UMD (shut out of Ivies)
4. Johns Hopkins (recruited athlete)
5. Yale (first gen)
6. UMD
7. Penn (first gen)
8. Princeton (URM)

All great, hard working, top scores, excellent EC kids, but like PP said there just isn’t enough room for all high achievers at the tippy top.

And all eight are pathetic for knowing each other's grades, rankings, test scores, and college application choices and results -- and any parent who knows all of this about all eight is even more pathetic.

The kids share this information freely with each other and obsess over it for most of their senior year. Parents get the information without even trying. In fact, I think PP substituted UMD for another state school because it matches what I know about kids I’ve never met at our school.

Goodness gracious. Which HS is this?

I can almost -- almost understand kids "sharing this information freely." Almost. But "parents getting this information without even trying?" Nope. Certainly not to the point of remembering it all to the degree that this poster did. That takes effort. Unhealthy effort. Obsessive effort. Insane effort.

I'm PP who listed the class standings in the hope of showing that Ivy admissions is not the end all. There will be plenty of hard working and intelligent kids at your state school.

Unfortunately, I know that it is not like this at most schools, but I am so grateful for the experience that my DC had throughout school. Out of the 8 kids listed, 6 are routinely at my house. 5 of them have been together since 6th grade. What started out as mandatory group projects in my basement, evolved into weekly study sessions for whatever big test was coming up, to movie nights in my basement. Those 6 supported one another throughout high school. They were there for the sporting events, the break ups, and the poor grades. They studied for the SATs together and I even drove 3 to their testing days. They attended campus visits together and worked on applications. I was there with them since 6th grade celebrating their successes and being there for them in their defeats. I fed them, cheered them on at sporting events, and drove them everywhere imaginable just like their parents did for my DC.

I am so happy for these kids and I know that they will all go on to wonderful lives no matter where they go to college. They know the importance of teamwork and building others up. I wish that every kid had this opportunity in high school and for my DC as they head to college, I hope that they can find a similar group of people.

And I call complete and total BS although I congratulate you on your feeble attempt to back track and justify your obsession. It just so happens that the top 8 students in your kid's class of FOUR HUNDRED all happen to hang out at YOUR house and have been doing that since sixth grade? And, no, they're not competitive and neither are you and it's all about supporting each other yet they all know each others' precise GPAs, test scores, classes, college applications, acceptance/rejections, etc.?

Just. Stop. This is an anonymous forum. No reason to lie to us -- or yourself.

My eldest kid is a freshman in high school but my husband graduated from a public high school in 1992. He was #2 out of 400. His best friends and study group were numbers 1-8 (minus 1 or 2 numbers). he's still friends this group 35 years later! He could tell you now who got into Princeton and who did not (they were in NJ), who was a national merit finalist and who was not, etc.
the top kids tend to know each other, especially in schools where there aren't that many academically focused kids.

Your husband and the other poster are made for each other then. Pathetic. And most definitely NOT the norm.

NP. I am the same way as PP. I went to a really high FARMs high school and all the kids who were intending to go to college (so a small group) stuck together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s roughly 400 kids graduating from DCs school this year. The top kids have been in the same classes all 4 years and know each other’s ranking and test scores. The top 2% of graduating class (8 kids) all had 4.0 uw and 1500+ SATs. This is how acceptances went for them:

1. Carnegie Mellon (shut out of Ivies)
2. UMD (shut out of Ivies and top SLACs)
3. UMD (shut out of Ivies)
4. Johns Hopkins (recruited athlete)
5. Yale (first gen)
6. UMD
7. Penn (first gen)
8. Princeton (URM)

All great, hard working, top scores, excellent EC kids, but like PP said there just isn’t enough room for all high achievers at the tippy top.

And all eight are pathetic for knowing each other's grades, rankings, test scores, and college application choices and results -- and any parent who knows all of this about all eight is even more pathetic.

The kids share this information freely with each other and obsess over it for most of their senior year. Parents get the information without even trying. In fact, I think PP substituted UMD for another state school because it matches what I know about kids I’ve never met at our school.

Goodness gracious. Which HS is this?

I can almost -- almost understand kids "sharing this information freely." Almost. But "parents getting this information without even trying?" Nope. Certainly not to the point of remembering it all to the degree that this poster did. That takes effort. Unhealthy effort. Obsessive effort. Insane effort.

I'm PP who listed the class standings in the hope of showing that Ivy admissions is not the end all. There will be plenty of hard working and intelligent kids at your state school.

Unfortunately, I know that it is not like this at most schools, but I am so grateful for the experience that my DC had throughout school. Out of the 8 kids listed, 6 are routinely at my house. 5 of them have been together since 6th grade. What started out as mandatory group projects in my basement, evolved into weekly study sessions for whatever big test was coming up, to movie nights in my basement. Those 6 supported one another throughout high school. They were there for the sporting events, the break ups, and the poor grades. They studied for the SATs together and I even drove 3 to their testing days. They attended campus visits together and worked on applications. I was there with them since 6th grade celebrating their successes and being there for them in their defeats. I fed them, cheered them on at sporting events, and drove them everywhere imaginable just like their parents did for my DC.

I am so happy for these kids and I know that they will all go on to wonderful lives no matter where they go to college. They know the importance of teamwork and building others up. I wish that every kid had this opportunity in high school and for my DC as they head to college, I hope that they can find a similar group of people.

And I call complete and total BS although I congratulate you on your feeble attempt to back track and justify your obsession. It just so happens that the top 8 students in your kid's class of FOUR HUNDRED all happen to hang out at YOUR house and have been doing that since sixth grade? And, no, they're not competitive and neither are you and it's all about supporting each other yet they all know each others' precise GPAs, test scores, classes, college applications, acceptance/rejections, etc.?

Just. Stop. This is an anonymous forum. No reason to lie to us -- or yourself.

My eldest kid is a freshman in high school but my husband graduated from a public high school in 1992. He was #2 out of 400. His best friends and study group were numbers 1-8 (minus 1 or 2 numbers). he's still friends this group 35 years later! He could tell you now who got into Princeton and who did not (they were in NJ), who was a national merit finalist and who was not, etc.
the top kids tend to know each other, especially in schools where there aren't that many academically focused kids.

Your husband and the other poster are made for each other then. Pathetic. And most definitely NOT the norm.

Are you 70? Because this is totally normal now. I just went to a wedding where the father of the bride mentioned her SAT score in his speech. There’s no tact about it now. I agree it should be private information but I think we’re in the minority now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My white male perfect student got into 4 safeties and rejected/WL at 14 others for CS. It was insane. Saying he was a white male was application suicide.

What is your definition of "perfect?" Did he have skills, experiences and perspectives that added or made him stand out to the places he applied? Were his essays excellent? Did he submit supplements? Did he tailor supplemental essays to specifics of the universities? Did he demonstrate interest? Did he have regional, state and national (not AP Scholar) awards? Did he highlight honors and ECs well? Did he demonstrate leadership? That's what it takes. My kid did all that. She revised her essay and honors/ECs when early admissions didn't pan out. She kept workjng to earn more awards and dud. She also found much to love about her safeties should top schools not pan out. There are just not enough spaces for high achieving kids. What you think is perfect may not be enough or what the college is looking for. I really hope he finds things to love about his school. As a high achiever, he will do well wherever he goes.

Let’s not ask too many questions about people who don’t exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid had perfect or close to perfect grades in AP classes, high SAT scores, strong extracurricular activities and got rejected from all the top schools, what do you think went wrong?

Kid was born into an Asian family could be the answer.

This^. There is a lot of bias for Asian/SouthAsian applicants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid had perfect or close to perfect grades in AP classes, high SAT scores, strong extracurricular activities and got rejected from all the top schools, what do you think went wrong?

Kid was born into an Asian family could be the answer.

Oh, stop. Every Asian kid my kid knows got into a better school than her. If you think Columbia, Princeton, Cornell, and UVA are disappointments, that’s your problem.

Yup, similar at our school.

UVA is a disappointment for someone aiming for Harvard/Stanford. They can make peace but doesn’t mean they won’t feel the sting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s roughly 400 kids graduating from DCs school this year. The top kids have been in the same classes all 4 years and know each other’s ranking and test scores. The top 2% of graduating class (8 kids) all had 4.0 uw and 1500+ SATs. This is how acceptances went for them:

1. Carnegie Mellon (shut out of Ivies)
2. UMD (shut out of Ivies and top SLACs)
3. UMD (shut out of Ivies)
4. Johns Hopkins (recruited athlete)
5. Yale (first gen)
6. UMD
7. Penn (first gen)
8. Princeton (URM)

All great, hard working, top scores, excellent EC kids, but like PP said there just isn’t enough room for all high achievers at the tippy top.

And all eight are pathetic for knowing each other's grades, rankings, test scores, and college application choices and results -- and any parent who knows all of this about all eight is even more pathetic.

The kids share this information freely with each other and obsess over it for most of their senior year. Parents get the information without even trying. In fact, I think PP substituted UMD for another state school because it matches what I know about kids I’ve never met at our school.

Goodness gracious. Which HS is this?

I can almost -- almost understand kids "sharing this information freely." Almost. But "parents getting this information without even trying?" Nope. Certainly not to the point of remembering it all to the degree that this poster did. That takes effort. Unhealthy effort. Obsessive effort. Insane effort.

I'm PP who listed the class standings in the hope of showing that Ivy admissions is not the end all. There will be plenty of hard working and intelligent kids at your state school.

Unfortunately, I know that it is not like this at most schools, but I am so grateful for the experience that my DC had throughout school. Out of the 8 kids listed, 6 are routinely at my house. 5 of them have been together since 6th grade. What started out as mandatory group projects in my basement, evolved into weekly study sessions for whatever big test was coming up, to movie nights in my basement. Those 6 supported one another throughout high school. They were there for the sporting events, the break ups, and the poor grades. They studied for the SATs together and I even drove 3 to their testing days. They attended campus visits together and worked on applications. I was there with them since 6th grade celebrating their successes and being there for them in their defeats. I fed them, cheered them on at sporting events, and drove them everywhere imaginable just like their parents did for my DC.

I am so happy for these kids and I know that they will all go on to wonderful lives no matter where they go to college. They know the importance of teamwork and building others up. I wish that every kid had this opportunity in high school and for my DC as they head to college, I hope that they can find a similar group of people.

And I call complete and total BS although I congratulate you on your feeble attempt to back track and justify your obsession. It just so happens that the top 8 students in your kid's class of FOUR HUNDRED all happen to hang out at YOUR house and have been doing that since sixth grade? And, no, they're not competitive and neither are you and it's all about supporting each other yet they all know each others' precise GPAs, test scores, classes, college applications, acceptance/rejections, etc.?

Just. Stop. This is an anonymous forum. No reason to lie to us -- or yourself.

My eldest kid is a freshman in high school but my husband graduated from a public high school in 1992. He was #2 out of 400. His best friends and study group were numbers 1-8 (minus 1 or 2 numbers). he's still friends this group 35 years later! He could tell you now who got into Princeton and who did not (they were in NJ), who was a national merit finalist and who was not, etc.
the top kids tend to know each other, especially in schools where there aren't that many academically focused kids.

I can well believe it. Like attracts like. My son is an introvert and doesn't know many people, and those people he knows won't share too much. So he's not the type to be a mine of information, or bemoan "why me?". If he doesn't get in, he knows it will be because of lack-luster extra-curriculars.

But my friend's daughter is very social, very high-achieving, and knows all the high-achieving kids in her grade level, most of whom are her friends. She is under immense pressure to get into a selective college, since all her family and friends' families have relatives at selective colleges. It's very tough for that kind of kid.

So yes, it makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid had perfect or close to perfect grades in AP classes, high SAT scores, strong extracurricular activities and got rejected from all the top schools, what do you think went wrong?

Kid was born into an Asian family could be the answer.

Oh, stop. Every Asian kid my kid knows got into a better school than her. If you think Columbia, Princeton, Cornell, and UVA are disappointments, that’s your problem.

Yup, similar at our school.

UVA is a disappointment for someone aiming for Harvard/Stanford. They can make peace but doesn’t mean they won’t feel the sting.

Harvard and Stanford have 3% admit rates but PP wants in blame it on being Asian. There aren’t enough spots for all the “perfect” kids. But if you’re one of the Harvard or bust types, yes, you’re likely going to be disappointed. The only kid at our school who got into Stanford, Princeton, Berkeley, and Duke is Asian. This poster is a bitter Tiger mom who thinks nothing matters except “HYP” . A friend of mine was raised by a parent like this and it nearly killed her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid had perfect or close to perfect grades in AP classes, high SAT scores, strong extracurricular activities and got rejected from all the top schools, what do you think went wrong?

Kid was born into an Asian family could be the answer.

This^. There is a lot of bias for Asian/SouthAsian applicants.

Then why did I see a disproportionate number (in terms of population) of Asian students and parents at admitted students days at top 10 schools? This is just not true. Asian students are doing well in admissions, but the formula of high test scores, GPAs and certain ECs that most peers do will not be enough to stand out for every school. Many of the Asian families I know want to have a formula (AOP + Suzuki music instrument starting age 5 + CTY + robotics + science fair + math team + quiz bowl) for shooting the Ivies. That just doesn't cut it. All the Asian kids we know got great admits. Most top 20. That's great for some and "shut out" if it isn't Ivies to others. Many applied to schools for prestige, not fit. I guess the issue is about expansion. Expand ECs to allow kids to follow different passions. So many of my kids friends are towing the line with ECs their parents want. Expand definition of great schools. Hardworking kids will do well at many schools!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid had perfect or close to perfect grades in AP classes, high SAT scores, strong extracurricular activities and got rejected from all the top schools, what do you think went wrong?

Kid was born into an Asian family could be the answer.

This^. There is a lot of bias for Asian/SouthAsian applicants.

And they end up at Duke instead of Harvard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid had perfect or close to perfect grades in AP classes, high SAT scores, strong extracurricular activities and got rejected from all the top schools, what do you think went wrong?

Kid was born into an Asian family could be the answer.

Oh, stop. Every Asian kid my kid knows got into a better school than her. If you think Columbia, Princeton, Cornell, and UVA are disappointments, that’s your problem.

Yup, similar at our school.

UVA is a disappointment for someone aiming for Harvard/Stanford. They can make peace but doesn’t mean they won’t feel the sting.

Teenagers are disappointed when they get rejected from ANY school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid had perfect or close to perfect grades in AP classes, high SAT scores, strong extracurricular activities and got rejected from all the top schools, what do you think went wrong?

Kid was born into an Asian family could be the answer.

This^. There is a lot of bias for Asian/SouthAsian applicants.

And they end up at Duke instead of Harvard.

No they end up at Caltech and UCs which don’t discriminate against Asians. Numbers don’t lie. Caltech is 40% Asian, UCs are 30+. If Harvard gave Asians a fair shake it would probably have over 50% Asians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. My kids have also never asked "why Larlo and not me?" That's not how they were raised to think.

Oh, please. It’s normal for a teenager to wonder why they weren’t picked for something.

Nope. Normal kids understand the randomness of elite college admissions and don't ask this. Mine never came home and cried over a friend's or acquaintances's college acceptance that was "better" than theirs. Maybe it's because they never knew anybody else's "stats" or college applications to the friggin' letter! It's ODD.

Hello? You are posting on a board that exists to allow parents to obsess over where their kids will get into college, what stats it might take, whether not taking one specific AP course is the death knell for all their college hopes and dreams, which tutor/outside advisor to pay thousands of dollars to to increase their chances, whether private or public school gives them a better chance, etc etc etc and the actual teens who are applying are supposed to be above wondering who got in and how they compare to those who did?

Give me a break.

The purpose of this board, at least so far as I am concerned, is not limited to "obsessing" over where kids will go to college or what stats and classes may be required. It's to share information on a wide variety of college-related issues.

And yet somehow, when students and parents “share information” in person, it’s ODD and bizarre and obsessed?

I am old and when I went to high school in flyover country in the 80’s, everyone knew the test scores and grades of the top students and where they were admitted. This is not a new thing, not is it limited to the DC area.