If your kid was a top student and didn’t get into a top college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the kids I know it was usually one of the two:

1. ECs were not that strong and/or couldn't convey the drive behind the ECs.
2. Put lots of effort into preparing the app for their top choice, got rejected or deferred in the early round, were blindsided by that and spread themselves too thin preparing apps for another 20 top schools.

How do you know this? You have no real idea. Pure conjecture.

Like anyone has a real idea. You don’t get to see your file with AO notes

Actually, you can see your file with AO notes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid had perfect or close to perfect grades in AP classes, high SAT scores, strong extracurricular activities and got rejected from all the top schools, what do you think went wrong?

A friend's parents used to spank her for low grades, so she learned to cheat and modify her report cards.

[Anonymous]

I really hope this is troll post. But if not:

There have been other threads along these lines. It's illogical that people think having almost perfect grades and test scores and great ECs entitles kids to admissions at "top/elite" schools. As others have repeatedly pointed out, some 90-95% of those who apply to those schools get rejected and most of those kids worked their butts off. All that hard work only gets kids a lottery ticket. You cannot be why most kids don't win the lottery. It's a shame but it really should serve as a cautionary tale to kids about whether they want to make big sacrifices for such a small chance of getting in. For some kids, it's totally worth it and they would work that hard anyway. For others, they feel like that stress was all for nothing even though they likely got accepted by other VERY good colleges. This obsession with getting into a T20 or whatever is so unhealthy. It largely will lead to disappointment. And I graduated from those exalted schools -- undergrad and grad. Times have changed. It's not worth it at this point, people. Seriously. Especially for undergrad. You're only young once. Don't waste HS on this rat race. Admittedly, back in my day it wasn't this insane of a rat race. I am confident that my life would not have been vastly different had I gone to less elite schools. My colleagues at my intellectually prestigious office went to a huge variety of undergrad and grad schools. OP, you can't think of this as what went "wrong" -- statistically, the odds are not in anyone's favor for things to go "right." I hope you're not communicating this mentality to your kid, OP. It's not doing anyone any good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the kids I know it was usually one of the two:

1. ECs were not that strong and/or couldn't convey the drive behind the ECs.
2. Put lots of effort into preparing the app for their top choice, got rejected or deferred in the early round, were blindsided by that and spread themselves too thin preparing apps for another 20 top schools.

Please. The core period of these kids' high school experience was during the pandemic. Strong EC opportunities were not even available to most of them, especially in this area.

This is not true. DC did four activities virtually all through virtual school--FCPS. DC even had virtual statewide events for two of the activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the kids I know it was usually one of the two:

1. ECs were not that strong and/or couldn't convey the drive behind the ECs.
2. Put lots of effort into preparing the app for their top choice, got rejected or deferred in the early round, were blindsided by that and spread themselves too thin preparing apps for another 20 top schools.

Please. The core period of these kids' high school experience was during the pandemic. Strong EC opportunities were not even available to most of them, especially in this area.

I guess you did not read the second part of that sentence.

Sure I did.

Nope. The kids who had part time jobs in retail and food places kept working for most of the pandemic. The kids who built websites and apps, participated at hackathons, edited school newspapers, painted, wrote fiction, etc, kept going as well. The kids who were into music learned how to do multi-track recordings on their iphones and put out lots of cool stuff together with their friends. Debate competitions were online, full force. One kid I know, a fitness buff, started a business doing personal training online. Plus all the political activism, providing virtual visits to the elderly, organizing grocery delivery for the high risk people, there were lots of opportunities during the pandemic for those who wanted them.

[Anonymous]

It just means you should have made a bigger "donation."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the kids I know it was usually one of the two:

1. ECs were not that strong and/or couldn't convey the drive behind the ECs.
2. Put lots of effort into preparing the app for their top choice, got rejected or deferred in the early round, were blindsided by that and spread themselves too thin preparing apps for another 20 top schools.

How do you know this? You have no real idea. Pure conjecture.

Like anyone has a real idea. You don’t get to see your file with AO notes

Actually, you can see your file with AO notes.

Only if you are admitted.

[Anonymous]

There’s roughly 400 kids graduating from DCs school this year. The top kids have been in the same classes all 4 years and know each other’s ranking and test scores. The top 2% of graduating class (8 kids) all had 4.0 uw and 1500+ SATs. This is how acceptances went for them:

1. Carnegie Mellon (shut out of Ivies)
2. UMD (shut out of Ivies and top SLACs)
3. UMD (shut out of Ivies)
4. Johns Hopkins (recruited athlete)
5. Yale (first gen)
6. UMD
7. Penn (first gen)
8. Princeton (URM)

All great, hard working, top scores, excellent EC kids, but like PP said there just isn’t enough room for all high achievers at the tippy top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the kids I know it was usually one of the two:

1. ECs were not that strong and/or couldn't convey the drive behind the ECs.
2. Put lots of effort into preparing the app for their top choice, got rejected or deferred in the early round, were blindsided by that and spread themselves too thin preparing apps for another 20 top schools.

How do you know this? You have no real idea. Pure conjecture.

I know several people who in early December had a list of 12-15 schools they planned to apply to (EA, ED and RD). Then, after seeing all the rejections and deferrals for themselves and other people, they added another 5-7 schools to the list making it very top heavy. Meanwhile, their essays for the original list were not yet finalized. Knowing how much work goes into supplemental materials for each school, there is no way they could crank out 10+ solid apps in 2 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the kids I know it was usually one of the two:

1. ECs were not that strong and/or couldn't convey the drive behind the ECs.
2. Put lots of effort into preparing the app for their top choice, got rejected or deferred in the early round, were blindsided by that and spread themselves too thin preparing apps for another 20 top schools.

Please. The core period of these kids' high school experience was during the pandemic. Strong EC opportunities were not even available to most of them, especially in this area.

I think a lot of the kids who had success figured out how to do ECs during COVID. It really wasn't that hard to find a non-profit to volunteer for etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the kids I know it was usually one of the two:

1. ECs were not that strong and/or couldn't convey the drive behind the ECs.
2. Put lots of effort into preparing the app for their top choice, got rejected or deferred in the early round, were blindsided by that and spread themselves too thin preparing apps for another 20 top schools.

Please. The core period of these kids' high school experience was during the pandemic. Strong EC opportunities were not even available to most of them, especially in this area.

I guess you did not read the second part of that sentence.

Sure I did.

Nope. The kids who had part time jobs in retail and food places kept working for most of the pandemic. The kids who built websites and apps, participated at hackathons, edited school newspapers, painted, wrote fiction, etc, kept going as well. The kids who were into music learned how to do multi-track recordings on their iphones and put out lots of cool stuff together with their friends. Debate competitions were online, full force. One kid I know, a fitness buff, started a business doing personal training online. Plus all the political activism, providing virtual visits to the elderly, organizing grocery delivery for the high risk people, there were lots of opportunities during the pandemic for those who wanted them.

You don’t live in the DC area, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the kids I know it was usually one of the two:

1. ECs were not that strong and/or couldn't convey the drive behind the ECs.
2. Put lots of effort into preparing the app for their top choice, got rejected or deferred in the early round, were blindsided by that and spread themselves too thin preparing apps for another 20 top schools.

Please. The core period of these kids' high school experience was during the pandemic. Strong EC opportunities were not even available to most of them, especially in this area.

I think a lot of the kids who had success figured out how to do ECs during COVID. It really wasn't that hard to find a non-profit to volunteer for etc.

Sure. “Volunteer” by asking mommy and daddy to find them a bogus “volunteer” position of an organization they are on the board of, so I can put it on my application.

Most non-profits were scrambling to stay afloat and we’re operating in a 100% remote capacity. They weren’t putting out the red carpet for high school kids looking to dress up their college resumes. Unless, of course, the kid’s parent was an influential donor or trustee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Sure. “Volunteer” by asking mommy and daddy to find them a bogus “volunteer” position of an organization they are on the board of, so I can put it on my application.

You think that you can tell this and adcoms can't tell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the kids I know it was usually one of the two:

1. ECs were not that strong and/or couldn't convey the drive behind the ECs.
2. Put lots of effort into preparing the app for their top choice, got rejected or deferred in the early round, were blindsided by that and spread themselves too thin preparing apps for another 20 top schools.

How do you know this? You have no real idea. Pure conjecture.

Like anyone has a real idea. You don’t get to see your file with AO notes

Actually, you can see your file with AO notes.

How?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really hope this is troll post. But if not:

There have been other threads along these lines. It's illogical that people think having almost perfect grades and test scores and great ECs entitles kids to admissions at "top/elite" schools. As others have repeatedly pointed out, some 90-95% of those who apply to those schools get rejected and most of those kids worked their butts off. All that hard work only gets kids a lottery ticket. You cannot be why most kids don't win the lottery. It's a shame but it really should serve as a cautionary tale to kids about whether they want to make big sacrifices for such a small chance of getting in. For some kids, it's totally worth it and they would work that hard anyway. For others, they feel like that stress was all for nothing even though they likely got accepted by other VERY good colleges. This obsession with getting into a T20 or whatever is so unhealthy. It largely will lead to disappointment. And I graduated from those exalted schools -- undergrad and grad. Times have changed. It's not worth it at this point, people. Seriously. Especially for undergrad. You're only young once. Don't waste HS on this rat race. Admittedly, back in my day it wasn't this insane of a rat race. I am confident that my life would not have been vastly different had I gone to less elite schools. My colleagues at my intellectually prestigious office went to a huge variety of undergrad and grad schools. OP, you can't think of this as what went "wrong" -- statistically, the odds are not in anyone's favor for things to go "right." I hope you're not communicating this mentality to your kid, OP. It's not doing anyone any good.

This!
I have a high school freshman. I’m telling her to do her best and challenge herself, but I’m not going to panic if she gets a lower grade or if she doesn’t take an extra AP. I know she’ll get college acceptances because she isn’t focusing exclusively on top schools. I want her to enjoy life, not rat-race herself to an early grave. I work with people from many types of colleges, including Ivy schools. We all have the same title and salary scale now.