South Asian male applicants

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:South Asian parent here. South Asian boys certainly have to put in much effort than even a South Asian girl.

That's obvious. They're competing against each other and there are more boys than girls in the applicant pool. What I don't understand is why people haven't figured out how to make their kids stand out in the applicant pool. Grades and test scores can only go so far. At some point, you have to differentiate yourself and show how you add value to the educational environment besides just raising the grading curve. Sure, we need individual contributors who can follow the rules and execute flawlessly. However, we also need leaders and innovators who can challenge the norms and occasionally break the rules. That's how we all move forward.

I'm not saying this to stereotype anyone but just pointing out that grades and test scores only tell part of the story. If that's all you're focused on, then you're "putting extra effort" on the wrong thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:South Asian parent here. South Asian boys certainly have to put in much effort than even a South Asian girl.

This just isn't true, unless you are talking ONLY about elite engineering/ CS programs. It is *harder* for a female applicant of ANY race to get into an elite college than a male of the SAME race. South Asian parents, please stop raising your sons to believe they are superior to women.

-a South Asian woman who is sick of South Asian men complaining about how unfair the world is for them, because it isn't

DP. How did you get that from the PP's post? You are just projecting here. I agree with the PP. Girls definitely have it easier than boys. Not just South Asian.

Easier for STEM or CS but not any other area. Much harder for girls at LAC.

Sure, but the PP said "elite college" and that's commonly interpreted to mean the top 25-50 colleges in the US overall. Only a sliver of LACs can be considered elite. I know DCUM is "LAC central" and filled with LAC sympathizers but STEM (Engineering, CS, Medicine, Math, etc) is the future when it comes to jobs and money. So yeah, that's what really matters, especially when it comes to Asians. We tried desperately to get DS2 to apply to a LAC (to take advantage of the male card) but other than Harvey Mudd, there simply isn't one that's good enough for STEM.

I have 2 kids go through the college admission process in recent years and know a lot of their friends as well. All things being equal (grades, ECs, etc.), girls do exceedingly well in the college admissions process relative to boys. Some it even starts in high school or earlier. Teachers are partial to girls when it comes to opportunities and grades. A couple of teachers in DS' school used "ladies first" as an excuse to when it comes to kids picking the topics for discussion or projects and girls ended up getting easier assignments. This happens too often to be a one-off. Of course, your daughters are likely not going to be sharing this info. so you don't really know. We do.

Probably explains the "South Asian men complaining about how unfair the world is for them" part of PP's comment. It's true.

OP, I’d urge you to ignore people like this poster who have no clue about SLACs. They are not the place to go for engineering, but are fantastic options if your kid wants to major in math or any science. Top SLACs often outperform research universities in terms of the percentage of students they send to PhD programs and med school. To increase odds of admissions, have your kid look at midwestern SLACs like Carleton and Grinnell as well as NESCACs and Swarthmore. This is the advice that I’ve given all my Asian friends with high stats kids who do not have standout ECs. The ones who listened have kids who are very happy at their small schools where they are close to their professors and research advisers. The others typically get shut out of all but the state flagship, where they are also happy and successful.

Also, I recommend that your kid focus on schools that value demonstrated interest and then take steps to show that interest. WashU and Emory are both in this category. The bonus is that kids who do this often develop a sincere appreciation for what a school has to offer beyond its place on the USNWR rankings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:South Asian parent here. South Asian boys certainly have to put in much effort than even a South Asian girl.

Oh, boo hoo hoo,. The real issue might be all these south Asian males are essentially robotic clones of each other and discerning individuality that might bring something of actual value to the cohort is hard.

This is really horrible and racist.

I can't imagine a person who has meaningfully interacted with people of different races honestly believing this.

[Anonymous]

I love what south Asians have contributed to our country. I mean it. Y’all rock. If anything, our country could use a lot more brilliant, hard-working, family-oriented people from Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, etc. Your culture is interesting, your food is superb, and your kids are damn smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This website has much data to show why you need not worry...

https://lesshighschoolstress.com/

Less selective universities are very capable of providing an excellent education.

Give me a break. OP wants to know how it is possible to get in the very selective universities. This "don't stress" narrative is absurd to feed to someone, when their kid has virtually no chance to get into a school, but their next door neighbor does, even with less accomplishment. "Don't stress" is some BS gaslighting in the face of discrimination.

OP's son will do well because that's who he is, regardless of where he goes to school. She's not worried that he's going to be digging ditches. That is not the point. And she doesn't have to have the same criteria as you. If this worries her, it worries her. That's valid.

It's a website designed to make money. like CTCLs marketing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NWIH

I want the doctor with the highest GPA, highest MCAT, and most prestigious residency to treat me or mine when there's a serious, life-threatening medical issue.

You're going to spend your life MAYBE getting the most talented doctor (or attorney or CPA or whatever) if you insist on criteria like that. Give me the 10th highest who has 2 decades of experience, is honest about her limitations, doesn't overindulge in alcohol, is willing to take the time to explain things thoroughly, has the utmost respect of the equally phenomenal team she works with, takes the time to stay informed of new advances, is a creative thinker, genuinely cares about my well-being, etc.

+1 highest MCAT, GPA is not the best doctor. Best information is their track record on your specific issue not prestige.

+2. Some of the best doctors I’ve worked with did not graduate at the top of their class.

+3 Some of those top academic docs end up in the research world where I encounter them regularly. Good heavens, they would be a nightmare doing actual patient care.

It's not an either or thing. Schools can demand excellent stats and make sure you have the personality traits to be a doctor, but to assume that people with great scores will be worse doctors than someone with mediocre scores( but under represented) is just silly.

Instead the woke brigade now gives a special pass to "some demographics" because without it, these kids don't stand a chance of getting in. When will it end? These same groups got a leg up in undergraduate admissions. Why do they need additional leg up in graduate admissions? If they can't cut it after four years of undergraduate boosting and preferences, I don't want them as my surgeon, just because medical schools want to be seen as diverse and inclusive.

You have an extremely distorted view of how things work. Everyone has to meet the merit threshhold, it's after that point that diversity is sometimes considered.

+1. The arrogance of these statements that these boys are inherently superior because of some metrics and therefore wronged is simultaneously racist (really? you don't think black and Hispanic students are as smart?) and misplaced (metrics are not the best indicator of ability).

+2. Agreed. The arrogance of some of these south Asian parents is astounding. The assumption that the next door URM kid with “affluent parents” is somehow inferior to their kids is ridiculous and purely racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:South Asian parent here. South Asian boys certainly have to put in much effort than even a South Asian girl.

Oh, boo hoo hoo,. The real issue might be all these south Asian males are essentially robotic clones of each other and discerning individuality that might bring something of actual value to the cohort is hard.

This is really horrible and racist.

I can't imagine a person who has meaningfully interacted with people of different races honestly believing this.

It’s a troll post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This website has much data to show why you need not worry...

https://lesshighschoolstress.com/

Less selective universities are very capable of providing an excellent education.

Give me a break. OP wants to know how it is possible to get in the very selective universities. This "don't stress" narrative is absurd to feed to someone, when their kid has virtually no chance to get into a school, but their next door neighbor does, even with less accomplishment. "Don't stress" is some BS gaslighting in the face of discrimination.

OP's son will do well because that's who he is, regardless of where he goes to school. She's not worried that he's going to be digging ditches. That is not the point. And she doesn't have to have the same criteria as you. If this worries her, it worries her. That's valid.

It's a website designed to make money. like CTCLs marketing.

I know the guy who developed it. You're wrong. No ads. No fees. Presents at local schools for free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love what south Asians have contributed to our country. I mean it. Y’all rock. If anything, our country could use a lot more brilliant, hard-working, family-oriented people from Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, etc. Your culture is interesting, your food is superb, and your kids are damn smart.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:South Asian parent here. South Asian boys certainly have to put in much effort than even a South Asian girl.

That's obvious. They're competing against each other and there are more boys than girls in the applicant pool. What I don't understand is why people haven't figured out how to make their kids stand out in the applicant pool. Grades and test scores can only go so far. At some point, you have to differentiate yourself and show how you add value to the educational environment besides just raising the grading curve. Sure, we need individual contributors who can follow the rules and execute flawlessly. However, we also need leaders and innovators who can challenge the norms and occasionally break the rules. That's how we all move forward.

I'm not saying this to stereotype anyone but just pointing out that grades and test scores only tell part of the story. If that's all you're focused on, then you're "putting extra effort" on the wrong thing.

Totally reject this notion that it is the job of the applicant to showcase themselves besides academics in the meat market for elite college admission. I admit that this is what it takes today, but this is because our premier research universities(which are precious limited resources) have lost their way on what their primary mission is. Their job is to teach our most brilliant minds in every field, regardless of their past history, so that they will benefit society tomorrow. There are tiers of universities for a reason. Some have fantastic resources, excellent faculty, some don't.

For any country, the best use of resources is when the students who can make the best use of such resources, get admitted to these universities. Other students should go to universities that better align with their preparation, abilities or willingness to do hard work. This is the best way for a country to spend its educational budget. Give the most resources to the most academically gifted students based on their exhibited talent today. This is what we do in every area, except academics. You want to compete in the Olympics for your country? You have to be among the best. It does not matter, how noble you are, how much hardship you suffered, who your parents are, whether your parents competed for the country, etc. You have to make the cut by being one of the best. if not, you don't get on the team, and you get on the team, even if that means that everybody on the team, looks exactly like you. You don't get to be on the USA gymnastics team, just because you show potential, or had a challenging life, or are dirt poor, or never got the right opportunity to become a great gymnast. None of that matters. You have to be one of the best gymnasts in the country, right now. That is the only way, the country can hope to win medals in a global competition. End of story.
Instead, today our universities who take public funds are engaged in a fruitless, nonsensical but feel good experiment where they expend these precious limited resources on less deserving students (relatively speaking, compared to the applicant pool) in the name of diversity and inclusion and turn away better prepared students because it "just doesn't feel right". And some spineless and selfish, self-serving politicians and parents whose kids will benefit from this wasteful mis-allocation of resources support and urge them forward. They also try to shame others who call them out on it.

Oh Well. Karma is a bi**h and we will eventually pay the price for this as a country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love what south Asians have contributed to our country. I mean it. Y’all rock. If anything, our country could use a lot more brilliant, hard-working, family-oriented people from Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, etc. Your culture is interesting, your food is superb, and your kids are damn smart.

+1

Notice how nobody ever complains about positive stereotypes (like this)?
It's only negative stereotypes they get people all riled up and angry.
But both are still stereotypes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:South Asian parent here. South Asian boys certainly have to put in much effort than even a South Asian girl.

That's obvious. They're competing against each other and there are more boys than girls in the applicant pool. What I don't understand is why people haven't figured out how to make their kids stand out in the applicant pool. Grades and test scores can only go so far. At some point, you have to differentiate yourself and show how you add value to the educational environment besides just raising the grading curve. Sure, we need individual contributors who can follow the rules and execute flawlessly. However, we also need leaders and innovators who can challenge the norms and occasionally break the rules. That's how we all move forward.

I'm not saying this to stereotype anyone but just pointing out that grades and test scores only tell part of the story. If that's all you're focused on, then you're "putting extra effort" on the wrong thing.

Totally reject this notion that it is the job of the applicant to showcase themselves besides academics in the meat market for elite college admission. I admit that this is what it takes today, but this is because our premier research universities(which are precious limited resources) have lost their way on what their primary mission is. Their job is to teach our most brilliant minds in every field, regardless of their past history, so that they will benefit society tomorrow. There are tiers of universities for a reason. Some have fantastic resources, excellent faculty, some don't.

For any country, the best use of resources is when the students who can make the best use of such resources, get admitted to these universities. Other students should go to universities that better align with their preparation, abilities or willingness to do hard work. This is the best way for a country to spend its educational budget. Give the most resources to the most academically gifted students based on their exhibited talent today. This is what we do in every area, except academics. You want to compete in the Olympics for your country? You have to be among the best. It does not matter, how noble you are, how much hardship you suffered, who your parents are, whether your parents competed for the country, etc. You have to make the cut by being one of the best. if not, you don't get on the team, and you get on the team, even if that means that everybody on the team, looks exactly like you. You don't get to be on the USA gymnastics team, just because you show potential, or had a challenging life, or are dirt poor, or never got the right opportunity to become a great gymnast. None of that matters. You have to be one of the best gymnasts in the country, right now. That is the only way, the country can hope to win medals in a global competition. End of story.
Instead, today our universities who take public funds are engaged in a fruitless, nonsensical but feel good experiment where they expend these precious limited resources on less deserving students (relatively speaking, compared to the applicant pool) in the name of diversity and inclusion and turn away better prepared students because it "just doesn't feel right". And some spineless and selfish, self-serving politicians and parents whose kids will benefit from this wasteful mis-allocation of resources support and urge them forward. They also try to shame others who call them out on it.

Oh Well. Karma is a bi**h and we will eventually pay the price for this as a country.

You are mistaken about there being 'tiers of universities', and because of this your whole statement is moot. The distance between the universities most capable of providing a strong education and those that are even hundreds of schools behind them are miniscule, and our most capable students have the opportunities available to reach their potential regardless of which of these hundreds of schools they attend.

What will cause the country to suffer is raising kids who believe what (the many) people like you say, kids who are so stressed out by never believing they've done enough that by the time they become adults they're unable to function at full capacity and have no joy in what they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:South Asian parent here. South Asian boys certainly have to put in much effort than even a South Asian girl.

That's obvious. They're competing against each other and there are more boys than girls in the applicant pool. What I don't understand is why people haven't figured out how to make their kids stand out in the applicant pool. Grades and test scores can only go so far. At some point, you have to differentiate yourself and show how you add value to the educational environment besides just raising the grading curve. Sure, we need individual contributors who can follow the rules and execute flawlessly. However, we also need leaders and innovators who can challenge the norms and occasionally break the rules. That's how we all move forward.

I'm not saying this to stereotype anyone but just pointing out that grades and test scores only tell part of the story. If that's all you're focused on, then you're "putting extra effort" on the wrong thing.

Totally reject this notion that it is the job of the applicant to showcase themselves besides academics in the meat market for elite college admission. I admit that this is what it takes today, but this is because our premier research universities(which are precious limited resources) have lost their way on what their primary mission is. Their job is to teach our most brilliant minds in every field, regardless of their past history, so that they will benefit society tomorrow. There are tiers of universities for a reason. Some have fantastic resources, excellent faculty, some don't.

For any country, the best use of resources is when the students who can make the best use of such resources, get admitted to these universities. Other students should go to universities that better align with their preparation, abilities or willingness to do hard work. This is the best way for a country to spend its educational budget. Give the most resources to the most academically gifted students based on their exhibited talent today. This is what we do in every area, except academics. You want to compete in the Olympics for your country? You have to be among the best. It does not matter, how noble you are, how much hardship you suffered, who your parents are, whether your parents competed for the country, etc. You have to make the cut by being one of the best. if not, you don't get on the team, and you get on the team, even if that means that everybody on the team, looks exactly like you. You don't get to be on the USA gymnastics team, just because you show potential, or had a challenging life, or are dirt poor, or never got the right opportunity to become a great gymnast. None of that matters. You have to be one of the best gymnasts in the country, right now. That is the only way, the country can hope to win medals in a global competition. End of story.
Instead, today our universities who take public funds are engaged in a fruitless, nonsensical but feel good experiment where they expend these precious limited resources on less deserving students (relatively speaking, compared to the applicant pool) in the name of diversity and inclusion and turn away better prepared students because it "just doesn't feel right". And some spineless and selfish, self-serving politicians and parents whose kids will benefit from this wasteful mis-allocation of resources support and urge them forward. They also try to shame others who call them out on it.

Oh Well. Karma is a bi**h and we will eventually pay the price for this as a country.

why? universities in the US have never taken the most brilliant minds or the most academically gifted students in some kind of order. In fact, it was even worse fifty years ago when legacies ruled the roost. If we didn't pay the price for it then, then what is different now?

BTW, when you say we do this 'in every area', have you considered the job market lately? That's completely not on merit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NWIH

I want the doctor with the highest GPA, highest MCAT, and most prestigious residency to treat me or mine when there's a serious, life-threatening medical issue.

You're going to spend your life MAYBE getting the most talented doctor (or attorney or CPA or whatever) if you insist on criteria like that. Give me the 10th highest who has 2 decades of experience, is honest about her limitations, doesn't overindulge in alcohol, is willing to take the time to explain things thoroughly, has the utmost respect of the equally phenomenal team she works with, takes the time to stay informed of new advances, is a creative thinker, genuinely cares about my well-being, etc.

+1 highest MCAT, GPA is not the best doctor. Best information is their track record on your specific issue not prestige.

+2. Some of the best doctors I’ve worked with did not graduate at the top of their class.

+3 Some of those top academic docs end up in the research world where I encounter them regularly. Good heavens, they would be a nightmare doing actual patient care.

Some of the best docs also have phds and work for industry. More prestige more money more fun; not just a fancy plumber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love what south Asians have contributed to our country. I mean it. Y’all rock. If anything, our country could use a lot more brilliant, hard-working, family-oriented people from Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, etc. Your culture is interesting, your food is superb, and your kids are damn smart.

+1

Notice how nobody ever complains about positive stereotypes (like this)?
It's only negative stereotypes they get people all riled up and angry.
But both are still stereotypes.

and saying people from these cultures are "damn smart" is also racist. that said, no matter the culture, teaching work ethic is something we all need to do as parent.s