Remember she also has THREE kids and a very nice house. But, drives an older mini-van. She probably also has a housekeeper and takes nice vacations. Earning potential plays a big factor in things. Even if OP works, its not going to satisfy someone like OP. Basically she doesn't want her kids teachers or anyone in a lower paying helping profession or even her nannies kids to go to school with her kids. She is one of those who wants to shelter her kids from the those she deems unworthy so she "has to work." If we had three kids and that salary we could very comfortably send kids to private. Its all about the choices you make. |
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I'm a PP who posted about paying $40k on a HHI of $250k. It is a choice we make, for sure, and it is worth it to us. But we sacrifice a lot to budget for it and it's hard - so much so, in fact, that when I posted my stats on a thread in the money forum, I was called a liar because people thought it was "impossible" to pay that much on our income without family money. Well, we are full pay and making it work.
But when I hear people suggesting, or even attesting to their own situation, that families with a stay at home parent by choice (not necessity) are then getting substantial financial aid for no other reason that that they just want to have a parent home and/or don't think they could earn enough to be bothered to work...well that makes me much less inclined to donate to the annual fund. I guess in my mind, I was picturing FA going to families where both parents were working at least one or perhaps even two jobs to make ends meet, and would otherwise never be able to give their child this opportunity. I actually don't think of a family with the luxury of a stay at home parent to be less fortunate than my family - I think in many ways they are more fortunate not to have two busy parents rushing around working all the time. So that is what seems unfair to me. |
It is very possible on your income and depending on the child absolutely worth it. Its not impossible at all. The big difference is your earning potential and child care and other expenses, like elderly care as well as health issues. If a SAHP is going to go out an earn $45K, but 1/3 goes to taxes and then before/after school care or transportation, is that few thousand really going to make a difference to a school? Probably not. |
I agree! We are a high income family but do not throw our money around or wear it on our sleeve. Sweet baby jesus...how these people toss money around is insane. It's always been very important that our kids not be spoiled and have a healthy respect for money. My one son's friend lives in a 10.5 bathroom house with 2 swimming pools. One inside, one out, and an underground garage that holds probably 3M in cars. It is the most insane gratuitous display of wealth I have ever seen. |
Real "middle class families" don't have SAHM either. I don't know how you organize your life but you are coming across as extremely entitled. The PP wanted children in private school and to make it work, she works. There's no entitlement there. You're making it sound like everyone is entitled if they don't live in a cramped crappy apartment or tiny house and drive the crappiest old car in order to pay for private school. Look - the real middle classes are not at the private schools and they never have been. Parochial and the cheap Catholic high schools? Yes. But not 40-50k privates. |
Are you saving for retirement and college? On your income, it seems like one or the other and you will be expected to be full pay or nearly so by every college. |
PP here. Yes, both of us have been working straight for 20+ years, so we each have nearly $1 million in retirement by now, plus one government pension. Fully expect to pay for college and we're saving for 4 years of in-state, though may have to cash flow part of that tuition, which we figure will probably be about the same as what we are paying for private. But see, this very question indicates how some people are skeptical that it can be done, or even suggesting I'm shortchanging my child's college by sacrificing so much now for private. While on the other hand, by the rationale of OP and others, if I had just quit and stayed home, I should get financial aid for my child to go to private school for free? That doesn't make any sense. Where is the logic? |
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To the OP - Private school is not for you
1 - First year families at some schools get no or very little aid. Doesn’t matter your income. Ask about this up front. The school will tel you. FA goes to returning families first. 2- FA is not guaranteed each year and the amount can fluctuate. 3 - Tuition is not the only cost to a private school. The extras add up. A pp mentioned the annual fund, but there will be class events, other items to purchase, possibly an auction or other fundraising event. Even if you are on FA, there is an expectation that you will participate in some or maybe all events. And that costs money. Even if it’s a nominal amount say $25 here and $50 there, it adds up. I know you are frugal so you are going to just say no. Well in small classes everything is magnified and when every kid in the class participates but your kid, how do you think that is going to go for your kid? 4 - and the most important reason private school is not for you - because you should be saving long term for the future and you can’t do that while paying for a private school that you can’t afford. It is clear you are not doing that given your attitude about working. You haven’t worked in a while and you don’t seem to understand that yes you start out a low salary but then you increase that salary over the years. |
This makes zero sense. You have a small fortune. You shouldn't get FA. |
If they can afford it, good for them. They probably aren't begging for FA screaming poverty. Most SN privates don't have the FA like regular privates do. |
You don't seem to understand that you are a high earner. You are earning more than OP alone is talking about. You very much could have made it on one income but you choose not to. You really think OP going back to work earning $30-40K will be equal to your salary or really make a difference in terms of aid. Its ok if you don't want low earning families at the school. After all it would be so embarrassing if your kids and the housekeepers kids went to the same school. I think its kinda sad after all those years of private, your kids will end up at the same state school as the public school kids when you have the money to do more. |
So can OP’s if she refuses to get a job. |
You’re assuming wrong. And we’re not “anti-FA.” We’re anti the limited FA being given to a family where one parent CHOOSES not to work and contribute to her child’s education and expects free money given by those who DO work. |
You need one if you want your kids in private. |
No, I don’t. We can afford it. |