Growing share of childless adults in U.S. don’t expect to ever have children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2 older siblings are childless. 38 and 44. The holidays they spend watching Netflix and surfing Reddit. I am sad for them.

Sounds like a dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2 older siblings are childless. 38 and 44. The holidays they spend watching Netflix and surfing Reddit. I am sad for them.

Really? It sounds like a great holiday they will have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unintelligent people are having more children which is depressing the average IQ in this country.......I find that far more alarming than childless couples.

Ding ding ding! This is the real problem people!

It's the evangelical Christians, the ones who want the US to be a theocracy, that will keep having the kids. Although the "quiverfull" movement is extreme and most don't actually call it that, the idea, which comes from the Bible, is common- have a whole bunch of kids so that their beliefs will overpower everyone else's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unintelligent people are having more children which is depressing the average IQ in this country.......I find that far more alarming than childless couples.

Ding ding ding! This is the real problem people!

It's the evangelical Christians, the ones who want the US to be a theocracy, that will keep having the kids. Although the "quiverfull" movement is extreme and most don't actually call it that, the idea, which comes from the Bible, is common- have a whole bunch of kids so that their beliefs will overpower everyone else's.

It's true that the lower IQ people are doing most of the procreating in the US. The uneducated are the primary customers of the evangelicals Christians because they don't do too much critical thinking and they are natural born followers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses in this thread are just proving the immigrant PP right.

She’s saying stand up, work hard, and don’t be a victim. What sane person can really disagree with that?

You’re all overreacting because she didn’t say it nicely and kiss your ass. We’ve become a nation of oversensitive snowflakes.

She's making comments that just don't work for many of the people who are on DCUM. Many of us - or our spouses - aren't really in a position to get a second job and work an extra 10 or 20 hours a week. We don't have the sorts of jobs where you do something like that. The added value of 10 hours of Instacart driving just aren't really going to be the thing that makes life more affordable.

I'm not sure why it's lazy or whatever to say, I like my life as it is - I don't want to add more expense and stress to what I've built for myself. I think it's pretty self aware to understand yourself well enough, and feel secure enough with your own choices. If she wanted more kids - and a guy who'd go work at the supermarket on the weekend, or something - then she should have built a different life for herself. Maybe she can go get a job at the supermarket at night and on the weekends and stop being so entitled and lazy herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unintelligent people are having more children which is depressing the average IQ in this country.......I find that far more alarming than childless couples.

Ding ding ding! This is the real problem people!

It's the evangelical Christians, the ones who want the US to be a theocracy, that will keep having the kids. Although the "quiverfull" movement is extreme and most don't actually call it that, the idea, which comes from the Bible, is common- have a whole bunch of kids so that their beliefs will overpower everyone else's.

It's true that the lower IQ people are doing most of the procreating in the US. The uneducated are the primary customers of the evangelicals Christians because they don't do too much critical thinking and they are natural born followers.

To be clear, there are many pools of low IQ people in this country who eschew birth control for whatever reason. And this is in the context of AI eliminating the jobs that these people historically could build a comfortable life around. In the future there will be a sharp intake in people on government programs and couple this with open borders and the future looks very much like the tale of two Americas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4 yo talks about becoming a mommy when she grows up all the time, and it makes me sad on some level because I just don't know if she is going to feel that way as an adult. I don't think there's anything wrong with choosing not to have kids -- I have a number of friends who went this route either by choice or circumstances, and they are great people with fulfilling lives. But I do wonder if parenthood will feel feasible at all for my kid when she's grown. Especially after parenting through this pandemic and seeing how this country supports (or more specifically, does not support) families in tough times.

I think it's concerning that many of the people saying they don't expect to have kids are NOT saying they don't want them, but that they just don't think it's a smart decision. It's too expensive, it derails your career if you're a woman, and there is an increasing sense that you'd be bringing a kid into a very troubled world (my DD was born just a few months after Trump was elected, so I know acutely how conflicted it can feel to welcome a child into a world with really capital "P" problems.

I think if this bothers you, you should commit to:

1) Real progress on climate change, not just fake promises of weak targets but real action with teeth to reduce emissions rapidly, even if it means stuff like reducing air travel and meat consumption
2) Social supports for young families including strong paid family leave, universal PK, and subsidized childcare.

If you don't think those things are possible or you aren't willing to give up what it would take to accomplish them, then I don't see how you can weight in on the choices of young people not to have children. If the above is a bridge too far for you, I guess we're going to find out what it looks like if birth rates, especially of non-immigrant populations, fall off a cliff.

Yeah, cross-post this bit on the Travel forum and see how many DCUM harpies shriek their disagreement. They are already planning summer 2022 vacations abroad, dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 4 yo talks about becoming a mommy when she grows up all the time, and it makes me sad on some level because I just don't know if she is going to feel that way as an adult. I don't think there's anything wrong with choosing not to have kids -- I have a number of friends who went this route either by choice or circumstances, and they are great people with fulfilling lives. But I do wonder if parenthood will feel feasible at all for my kid when she's grown. Especially after parenting through this pandemic and seeing how this country supports (or more specifically, does not support) families in tough times.

I think it's concerning that many of the people saying they don't expect to have kids are NOT saying they don't want them, but that they just don't think it's a smart decision. It's too expensive, it derails your career if you're a woman, and there is an increasing sense that you'd be bringing a kid into a very troubled world (my DD was born just a few months after Trump was elected, so I know acutely how conflicted it can feel to welcome a child into a world with really capital "P" problems.

I think if this bothers you, you should commit to:

1) Real progress on climate change, not just fake promises of weak targets but real action with teeth to reduce emissions rapidly, even if it means stuff like reducing air travel and meat consumption
2) Social supports for young families including strong paid family leave, universal PK, and subsidized childcare.

If you don't think those things are possible or you aren't willing to give up what it would take to accomplish them, then I don't see how you can weight in on the choices of young people not to have children. If the above is a bridge too far for you, I guess we're going to find out what it looks like if birth rates, especially of non-immigrant populations, fall off a cliff.

Yeah, cross-post this bit on the Travel forum and see how many DCUM harpies shriek their disagreement. They are already planning summer 2022 vacations abroad, dear.

Oh I know. Which is why I don’t see this trend shifting course. I’m simply saying if people want to sit around and lament the trend if young people choosing not to have kids, they have a choice— do something about it, or accept that this is how it is. If you are not willing to make sacrifices for future generations, then there may not be future generations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses in this thread are just proving the immigrant PP right.

She’s saying stand up, work hard, and don’t be a victim. What sane person can really disagree with that?

You’re all overreacting because she didn’t say it nicely and kiss your ass. We’ve become a nation of oversensitive snowflakes.

She's making comments that just don't work for many of the people who are on DCUM. Many of us - or our spouses - aren't really in a position to get a second job and work an extra 10 or 20 hours a week. We don't have the sorts of jobs where you do something like that. The added value of 10 hours of Instacart driving just aren't really going to be the thing that makes life more affordable.

I'm not sure why it's lazy or whatever to say, I like my life as it is - I don't want to add more expense and stress to what I've built for myself. I think it's pretty self aware to understand yourself well enough, and feel secure enough with your own choices. If she wanted more kids - and a guy who'd go work at the supermarket on the weekend, or something - then she should have built a different life for herself. Maybe she can go get a job at the supermarket at night and on the weekends and stop being so entitled and lazy herself.

Immigrant PP here. I’m an accountant at a high-level company. I work very long hours. But there is always free time to find, if you want to find it. I used free resources to learn how to code and then built websites for free until I had the skill and word-of-mouth respect to charge. Now, I do freelance projects on the side that go far beyond websites. I continue to build my skill set. This has become my hobby and my side gig.

If you’re on DCUM, you have extra time for a side gig. It’s all right if you don’t want one, but stop making excuses for why you can’t generate extra income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses in this thread are just proving the immigrant PP right.

She’s saying stand up, work hard, and don’t be a victim. What sane person can really disagree with that?

You’re all overreacting because she didn’t say it nicely and kiss your ass. We’ve become a nation of oversensitive snowflakes.

She's making comments that just don't work for many of the people who are on DCUM. Many of us - or our spouses - aren't really in a position to get a second job and work an extra 10 or 20 hours a week. We don't have the sorts of jobs where you do something like that. The added value of 10 hours of Instacart driving just aren't really going to be the thing that makes life more affordable.

I'm not sure why it's lazy or whatever to say, I like my life as it is - I don't want to add more expense and stress to what I've built for myself. I think it's pretty self aware to understand yourself well enough, and feel secure enough with your own choices. If she wanted more kids - and a guy who'd go work at the supermarket on the weekend, or something - then she should have built a different life for herself. Maybe she can go get a job at the supermarket at night and on the weekends and stop being so entitled and lazy herself.

Immigrant PP here. I’m an accountant at a high-level company. I work very long hours. But there is always free time to find, if you want to find it. I used free resources to learn how to code and then built websites for free until I had the skill and word-of-mouth respect to charge. Now, I do freelance projects on the side that go far beyond websites. I continue to build my skill set. This has become my hobby and my side gig.

If you’re on DCUM, you have extra time for a side gig. It’s all right if you don’t want one, but stop making excuses for why you can’t generate extra income.

Honestly this vision of life you keep describing sounds miserable. I'm glad it works for you but perhaps you chose the wrong spouse since it seems like hes not interested in working every second of every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses in this thread are just proving the immigrant PP right.

She’s saying stand up, work hard, and don’t be a victim. What sane person can really disagree with that?

You’re all overreacting because she didn’t say it nicely and kiss your ass. We’ve become a nation of oversensitive snowflakes.

She's making comments that just don't work for many of the people who are on DCUM. Many of us - or our spouses - aren't really in a position to get a second job and work an extra 10 or 20 hours a week. We don't have the sorts of jobs where you do something like that. The added value of 10 hours of Instacart driving just aren't really going to be the thing that makes life more affordable.

I'm not sure why it's lazy or whatever to say, I like my life as it is - I don't want to add more expense and stress to what I've built for myself. I think it's pretty self aware to understand yourself well enough, and feel secure enough with your own choices. If she wanted more kids - and a guy who'd go work at the supermarket on the weekend, or something - then she should have built a different life for herself. Maybe she can go get a job at the supermarket at night and on the weekends and stop being so entitled and lazy herself.

Immigrant PP here. I’m an accountant at a high-level company. I work very long hours. But there is always free time to find, if you want to find it. I used free resources to learn how to code and then built websites for free until I had the skill and word-of-mouth respect to charge. Now, I do freelance projects on the side that go far beyond websites. I continue to build my skill set. This has become my hobby and my side gig.

If you’re on DCUM, you have extra time for a side gig. It’s all right if you don’t want one, but stop making excuses for why you can’t generate extra income.

Absolutely no one is paying some person who learned 'coding on the side' to build their websites unless they want trash quality garbage for a site. Coding isn't a substitute for actual digital design work/expertise. You can always tell when a straight up coder with zero in design skills builds a site. Terrible.

-1000 for crappy advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2 older siblings are childless. 38 and 44. The holidays they spend watching Netflix and surfing Reddit. I am sad for them.

Sounds like a dream.

I am one of these people; I am sad, but it is what it is. IVF was too expensive and prone not to work for me, and adoption was also too expensive. Maybe, when I can move to a more rural area that sadly has more available foster kids, I might consider adopting from foster care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2 older siblings are childless. 38 and 44. The holidays they spend watching Netflix and surfing Reddit. I am sad for them.

I feel the same way honestly. It’s a shallow way to live. I mean I don’t think people should be parents if they don’t want to be, and I’m certainly sympathetic about those who had problems getting pregnant or don’t have a partner and can’t go it alone. It’s not in the cards for everyone. But these people spend all day on frivolous pursuits. They haven’t grown up. They dote on their cats/dogs as though they are people. I don’t think it’s a healthy way for everyone to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2 older siblings are childless. 38 and 44. The holidays they spend watching Netflix and surfing Reddit. I am sad for them.

I feel the same way honestly. It’s a shallow way to live. I mean I don’t think people should be parents if they don’t want to be, and I’m certainly sympathetic about those who had problems getting pregnant or don’t have a partner and can’t go it alone. It’s not in the cards for everyone. But these people spend all day on frivolous pursuits. They haven’t grown up. They dote on their cats/dogs as though they are people. I don’t think it’s a healthy way for everyone to live.

Who suggested that everyone live like that? Nobody. Some people don't want to spend all the time and money squirting out babies and cleaning up vomit just so they can have the glorious satisfaction of passing on their DNA before they die. Choose your own adventure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2 older siblings are childless. 38 and 44. The holidays they spend watching Netflix and surfing Reddit. I am sad for them.

I feel the same way honestly. It’s a shallow way to live. I mean I don’t think people should be parents if they don’t want to be, and I’m certainly sympathetic about those who had problems getting pregnant or don’t have a partner and can’t go it alone. It’s not in the cards for everyone. But these people spend all day on frivolous pursuits. They haven’t grown up. They dote on their cats/dogs as though they are people. I don’t think it’s a healthy way for everyone to live.

Well, if I could have had children, I wouldn't be "doting on my cats and dogs." I don't have anyone else B*tch.