Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t she stay in college the first time?

I don't think she ever went. She was accepted but did not go maybe because she couldn't figure out how to afford it and obviously family situation was f'd up.

DP. No, she did go. She had a full scholarship. They never really explained why she left.

[Anonymous]

I think Nate dodged a bullet. He deserves better than Alex. He deserves someone who is responsible and stable. Not someone who didn’t go to college, had a kid out of wedlock with an abusive alcoholic, someone who invites tinder dates to clients houses, etc… Alex needs to get her sh*t together before dating someone like Nate (and I think she knew that).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t she stay in college the first time?

I don't think she ever went. She was accepted but did not go maybe because she couldn't figure out how to afford it and obviously family situation was f'd up.

DP. No, she did go. She had a full scholarship. They never really explained why she left.

I thought she didn't go because of her husband? Remember that scene where he comes home to her reading on the hammock (not sure if they were married then). She is talking about leaving for college soon and they should spend all their time together. I assume she didn't go because of who she is (or she got pregnant, not sure what the time difference was).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her dad was relatively stable and offered her a clean, safe place to stay, with backup care for Maddy when she was sick. I kept waiting for there to be strings attached or for him to be a monster. But her only reason for moving out was a realization that YEARS PAST when he was an alcoholic, he hit her mother. He's now sober, a Christian, and keeps on her ex boyfriend to get him to go to AA meetings. I think she was crazy for turning down his help. She should have done almost anything to stay with him and his wife who also seemed kind and stable.

I completely agree with this. I think it’s just people and liberal shows hating on born again Christians mostly.

I agree with this and I am a lefty, feminist, atheist. There was stability there. The child was young, you could shape their values differently down the line, but she was in dire straits and this was a place to land for a bit.

I do think it kind of goes with the theme though; she's not equipped to do this, had a kid too young, is repeating family patters across generations, and is so just stumbling around like a lot of aimless 25 year olds who can't figure out their lives. Her stakes are just so much higher with a kid in tow.

Two things here - one: she was traumatized by what she realized about her dad. And she remembered/discovered it in a really jarring/shocking way. Considering what she had just gone through in her own relationship it's not surprising that her reaction would be to run. Two: her dad NEVER owned up to it, and not only that, as illustrated by the last couple of episodes, he minimizes what her own boyfriend did to her and instead tries to put it on her to fix things. He wants Alex to do what he thought Paula should have done for him. Even though he got it together, he sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her dad was relatively stable and offered her a clean, safe place to stay, with backup care for Maddy when she was sick. I kept waiting for there to be strings attached or for him to be a monster. But her only reason for moving out was a realization that YEARS PAST when he was an alcoholic, he hit her mother. He's now sober, a Christian, and keeps on her ex boyfriend to get him to go to AA meetings. I think she was crazy for turning down his help. She should have done almost anything to stay with him and his wife who also seemed kind and stable.

I completely agree with this. I think it’s just people and liberal shows hating on born again Christians mostly.

I agree with this and I am a lefty, feminist, atheist. There was stability there. The child was young, you could shape their values differently down the line, but she was in dire straits and this was a place to land for a bit.

I do think it kind of goes with the theme though; she's not equipped to do this, had a kid too young, is repeating family patters across generations, and is so just stumbling around like a lot of aimless 25 year olds who can't figure out their lives. Her stakes are just so much higher with a kid in tow.

Two things here - one: she was traumatized by what she realized about her dad. And she remembered/discovered it in a really jarring/shocking way. Considering what she had just gone through in her own relationship it's not surprising that her reaction would be to run. Two: her dad NEVER owned up to it, and not only that, as illustrated by the last couple of episodes, he minimizes what her own boyfriend did to her and instead tries to put it on her to fix things. He wants Alex to do what he thought Paula should have done for him. Even though he got it together, he sucks.

THANK YOU. He fully supports the boyfriend because he sees himself- alcoholic, etc- but doesnt support his own daughter. Takes him to AA meetings, gets him a job, sat there while she got belittled. etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I finished watching it. My stbx left me in fairly precarious circumstances but nothing like here. I get the struggle of juggling work and childcare (my kid had to walk home from school and stay home alone much earlier than I would like), but I found social workers I encountered helpful and compassionate. I can’t imagine them saying something about “toothless white trash” to a person’s face at least.
What was also fascinating is that Alex kept making dumb decisions but it all was understandable and kind of followed from her previous circumstances... who brings a tinder date to a house you are cleaning? But she was so tired and lonely and jealous of this beautiful life others had, I can understand how she took that one wrong step (yet another one)
Or at the birthday party how she suddenly doesn’t feel the power to say no to all those idiots ruining it for her...it’s hard to be intimidated and the less energy and stability you have the easier you give up
What was not believable is how she was allowed to serve papers on her stbx herself - you always need a third party...
also it doesn’t look believable how Sean suddenly wants to give custody to her... and did she really have to take Maddie away from him?!

So she should stay and clean houses for a living instead of getting a college degree so her abusive, alcoholic ex doesn't have to be away from his daughter? Are you for real?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved it! I’m a bit naive and privileged so I think it helped me see the other side. She just had so many crazies around her that drag her down and I’ve never experienced that.

I loved Nate and wished she would date him. I married a man just like him and he’s such a great dad and husband.

Nate wasn't a good guy. He was offering to help her so long as she met his expectations (Date him). He exemplifies how so many women, who leave abusive relationships fall into other abusive or controlling relationships. He appears as the knight in shining armor but he isn't.

So no, I am glad she didn't date Nate.

I don't think he was a "bad" guy, but he wasn't good for her and obviously wasn't helping her out of sole concern for her welfare.

While I think it's understandable that he was upset that she spent the night with, and slept with Sean, he was really nasty when asking her to leave. He had really had no clue what she was dealing with and didn't realize what he didn't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved it! I’m a bit naive and privileged so I think it helped me see the other side. She just had so many crazies around her that drag her down and I’ve never experienced that.

I loved Nate and wished she would date him. I married a man just like him and he’s such a great dad and husband.

Nate wasn't a good guy. He was offering to help her so long as she met his expectations (Date him). He exemplifies how so many women, who leave abusive relationships fall into other abusive or controlling relationships. He appears as the knight in shining armor but he isn't.

So no, I am glad she didn't date Nate.

I don't think he was a "bad" guy, but he wasn't good for her and obviously wasn't helping her out of sole concern for her welfare.

While I think it's understandable that he was upset that she spent the night with, and slept with Sean, he was really nasty when asking her to leave. He had really had no clue what she was dealing with and didn't realize what he didn't know.

I agree he was a total jerk when he asked her to leave, but she was pretty inconsiderate herself. He called her while they were in the car to make sure everything was okay, but she couldn't bother to send him a quick text that they were at the hospital, that her mom was hurt, etc? Instead she falls back into her bad patterns and sleeps with Sean. While I admired Alex's grit and commitment to making a better life for her and her daughter, there were so many times I wanted to shake her for making such terrible choices (the birthday party was a great example of that), again and again. I get that part of that is from her history, but it was still baffling especially when juxtaposed against her grit to do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved it! I’m a bit naive and privileged so I think it helped me see the other side. She just had so many crazies around her that drag her down and I’ve never experienced that.

I loved Nate and wished she would date him. I married a man just like him and he’s such a great dad and husband.

Nate wasn't a good guy. He was offering to help her so long as she met his expectations (Date him). He exemplifies how so many women, who leave abusive relationships fall into other abusive or controlling relationships. He appears as the knight in shining armor but he isn't.

So no, I am glad she didn't date Nate.

I don't think he was a "bad" guy, but he wasn't good for her and obviously wasn't helping her out of sole concern for her welfare.

While I think it's understandable that he was upset that she spent the night with, and slept with Sean, he was really nasty when asking her to leave. He had really had no clue what she was dealing with and didn't realize what he didn't know.

No, he was not a “bad guy”. How many men do you know would happily babysit a kid while the mom is boinking her abusive ex-boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved it! I’m a bit naive and privileged so I think it helped me see the other side. She just had so many crazies around her that drag her down and I’ve never experienced that.

I loved Nate and wished she would date him. I married a man just like him and he’s such a great dad and husband.

Nate wasn't a good guy. He was offering to help her so long as she met his expectations (Date him). He exemplifies how so many women, who leave abusive relationships fall into other abusive or controlling relationships. He appears as the knight in shining armor but he isn't.

So no, I am glad she didn't date Nate.

I don't think he was a "bad" guy, but he wasn't good for her and obviously wasn't helping her out of sole concern for her welfare.

While I think it's understandable that he was upset that she spent the night with, and slept with Sean, he was really nasty when asking her to leave. He had really had no clue what she was dealing with and didn't realize what he didn't know.

No, he was not a “bad guy”. How many men do you know would happily babysit a kid while the mom is boinking her abusive ex-boyfriend?

+1
I didn't think he was a bad guy at all. I could see why Alex wasn't attracted to him (I wasn't either!), but he helped her so, so much. He couldn't help it if he was attracted to her. I think the night she stayed at Sean's he finally realized that he was being used, even if she didn't mean it that way. It was time for Alex to get her shit together and start making better choices. I don't think he was wrong for asking her to leave.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Gotta say I find the responses here completely fascinating.

Right off the bat you have people saying "Alex should have taken help from all these people that offered!" Then when she does take help from Nate - a guy who has been interested in her romantically since before she was with Sean, BTW - she's criticized for not being grateful and dating the wonderful Nate. But the truth is, she IS interested in Nate, but not from a position of her being homeless and living in his house to secure her child's access to this fabulous preschool (which, of course, Nate introduced her to).

Did she screw up by sleeping with Sean. Well, yes. But if you want to - go re-watch that scene. Alex is in shock. She's just taken her mother to the hospital in the midst of a major mental health issue and major injury. She can't even clean herself up. Sean is wiping her mother's blood off of her. Sleeping with Sean was obviously a mistake, but it's really interesting that every other character gets to be a complete screwup and yet are absolved of their sins except Alex.

And Sean is perfectly happy to take her back to the trailer and sleep with her without one thought of where HIS daughter is and who is looking after her. At one point prior to this night Sean says he doesn't want Maddy living at Nate's but then he's perfectly happy to leave Maddy there overnight with no phone call to Nate as long as he is able to sleep with Alex. And when Alex wakes up the next morning, she's freaked out and immediately wants to get back to Maddy and Sean...wants to cook breakfast.

I don't really fault Nate for his reaction (I was the one that said he was nasty to her), but clearly his motives were never totally benevolent even if they were well-intentioned.

In general, I found Alex to be remarkably focused and level headed, despite her childhood (which her dad also gets a total pass for), she's a great mother to Maddy, and I think she should get the chance to screw up too.

[Anonymous]

I’m not happy that they said food stamps benefits are weekly they are monthly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved it! I’m a bit naive and privileged so I think it helped me see the other side. She just had so many crazies around her that drag her down and I’ve never experienced that.

I loved Nate and wished she would date him. I married a man just like him and he’s such a great dad and husband.

Nate wasn't a good guy. He was offering to help her so long as she met his expectations (Date him). He exemplifies how so many women, who leave abusive relationships fall into other abusive or controlling relationships. He appears as the knight in shining armor but he isn't.

So no, I am glad she didn't date Nate.

I don't think he was a "bad" guy, but he wasn't good for her and obviously wasn't helping her out of sole concern for her welfare.

While I think it's understandable that he was upset that she spent the night with, and slept with Sean, he was really nasty when asking her to leave. He had really had no clue what she was dealing with and didn't realize what he didn't know.

I agree he was a total jerk when he asked her to leave, but she was pretty inconsiderate herself. He called her while they were in the car to make sure everything was okay, but she couldn't bother to send him a quick text that they were at the hospital, that her mom was hurt, etc? Instead she falls back into her bad patterns and sleeps with Sean. While I admired Alex's grit and commitment to making a better life for her and her daughter, there were so many times I wanted to shake her for making such terrible choices (the birthday party was a great example of that), again and again. I get that part of that is from her history, but it was still baffling especially when juxtaposed against her grit to do better.

Have experienced in some way Alex’s situation? Sure, the party was a very bad idea, but she leaned. I will only read comments from people that have gone through similar experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved it! I’m a bit naive and privileged so I think it helped me see the other side. She just had so many crazies around her that drag her down and I’ve never experienced that.

I loved Nate and wished she would date him. I married a man just like him and he’s such a great dad and husband.

Nate wasn't a good guy. He was offering to help her so long as she met his expectations (Date him). He exemplifies how so many women, who leave abusive relationships fall into other abusive or controlling relationships. He appears as the knight in shining armor but he isn't.

So no, I am glad she didn't date Nate.

I don't think he was a "bad" guy, but he wasn't good for her and obviously wasn't helping her out of sole concern for her welfare.

While I think it's understandable that he was upset that she spent the night with, and slept with Sean, he was really nasty when asking her to leave. He had really had no clue what she was dealing with and didn't realize what he didn't know.

No, he was not a “bad guy”. How many men do you know would happily babysit a kid while the mom is boinking her abusive ex-boyfriend?

Men will do a lot to get the girl they want. So, no--he's not a bad guy but he wanted something from her and that's why he was doing all the things he was doing. Once he figured out she wasn't going to give it to him (even though she had been clear on that many times prior), he kicked her out. Perhaps he didn't fully understand what was happening in her world. Perhaps she was wrong to accept help. But at the end of the day, one can say Nate represents the argument that women fleeing abusive relationships shouldn't necessarily fall into the arms of the next 'nice' man and many, many, many do -- only to find that the cycle perpetuates if that man turns the table on them when/if they decide the woman isn't doing what they want. So yeah, Nate could have continued to offer homecooked meals, ponies and fancy preschools to Alex but who is to say in 5 years, he wouldn't get mad at her for whatever and just pull the entire rug from her. Or get jealous and start controlling her. The tables weren't equal between them and Alex recognized that.

[Anonymous]

Did she make some bad choices? Sure, there isn't a human being alive who hasn't.

The difference is that if you have a supportive family and/or money, you're often shielded from the worst consequences of those choices.