Ladies: When did you give up on finding a husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somewhere in my 20's. I'm 44 now. I've been on exactly one date, when I was 14 (I didn't put out, he never called me again).

I kind of can't imagine being married now. My life is SO very me-focused.

Do you not have sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somewhere in my 20's. I'm 44 now. I've been on exactly one date, when I was 14 (I didn't put out, he never called me again).

I kind of can't imagine being married now. My life is SO very me-focused.

Though I have been on more than one date ( not much more 5 dates with 3 guys) I feel this is my future.

I have found my people, I have been on 6 dates with five guys, I am 42. My life is me-focused by default, not by choice, I can imagine being married (not saying this to be snarky pp, just sharing my experience)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somewhere in my 20's. I'm 44 now. I've been on exactly one date, when I was 14 (I didn't put out, he never called me again).

I kind of can't imagine being married now. My life is SO very me-focused.

Though I have been on more than one date ( not much more 5 dates with 3 guys) I feel this is my future.

Real question (and not trying to be mean/snarky): why so few dates?

I actually didn't date or kiss anyone until I was a senior in college so I empathize with late bloomers and the overlooked!

I don't know. I was a shy and awkward late bloomer through high school and most of college. The few guys I was interested in during college were not into me.

I'm not really into the club and bar scene and during most of my 20s, I worked in female-dominated fields ( ECE and nanny). I'm not super picky when it comes to things like looks, salary or education. I have guys check me out but don't approach. I have made the first move and not have it go anywehere. I've used apps and have guys that will talk but never materialize into dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somewhere in my 20's. I'm 44 now. I've been on exactly one date, when I was 14 (I didn't put out, he never called me again).

I kind of can't imagine being married now. My life is SO very me-focused.

Though I have been on more than one date ( not much more 5 dates with 3 guys) I feel this is my future.

I have found my people, I have been on 6 dates with five guys, I am 42. My life is me-focused by default, not by choice, I can imagine being married (not saying this to be snarky pp, just sharing my experience)

Group hug.

[Anonymous]

I was 38 when I met DH. I had spent most of my 30’s dealing with health issues and just couldn’t focus on dating. I had boyfriends in my 20’s and early 30’s. But my longest relationship in my 30’s was an on/off FWB.

I made peace with never having kids and just having a series of relationships that would last weeks-months-years, but not lead to marriage.

I joined an online dating site. He was the 2nd guy I went on date with. We were married about 2 years later. We had fertility issues, but at 45 we had DS. Been together almost 13 years, married 11.

I did a lot of work in my 20’s and 30’s—therapy and self help books—to prepare me for marriage.

[Anonymous]

Around 35 I got out of a toxic long term relationship and figured it might not be in the cards for me. Loved being an aunt and have a close sis so was ok with it, figured I’d travel a lot. Then met a guy and clicked and got married had a baby. Def glad I didn’t stick with the bad fit boyfriend just to have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is getting married for the first time at 48. She met him during the pandemic. I was married at 48 for the first time too.

I would like to hear this story!!!

[Anonymous]

Met guy at 38, after lots of grad school and a few heartbreaks, married him at 41, had a kid with a little help a few years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are in your PRIME.

Well, you're never gonna find it
If you're looking for it won't come your way
Well, you'll never find it
If you're looking for it

Doesn't feel like it. I'd thought I'd be married and a mum by now.

That’s so overrated.

[Anonymous]

I'll be 37 on a few months and I realize it's not going to happen for me. For many reasons, I'm learning to cope with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are in your PRIME.

Well, you're never gonna find it
If you're looking for it won't come your way
Well, you'll never find it
If you're looking for it

Doesn't feel like it. I'd thought I'd be married and a mum by now.

Are you English? Plenty of guys love the accent.

[Anonymous]

When you aren’t looking is when you’ll meet someone.

I was just out of a long relationship, determined to just have fun being single and that’s when I met my husband.

I feel like women on the hunt have a desperation men can read/feel. You usually aren’t at your best because you have an agenda instead of just relaxing and being yourself.

I always knew I’d be okay by myself. I had a good career and did things for me when I wasn’t actively in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you aren’t looking is when you’ll meet someone.

I was just out of a long relationship, determined to just have fun being single and that’s when I met my husband.

I feel like women on the hunt have a desperation men can read/feel. You usually aren’t at your best because you have an agenda instead of just relaxing and being yourself.

I always knew I’d be okay by myself. I had a good career and did things for me when I wasn’t actively in a relationship.

I feel like people speak out of both sides of their mouths on the issues you get told you have to actively look and make it your job and then you get told sit back and do nothing.

There's also this false assumption that wants to be married means you don't think you will be okay by yourself and have zero interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is getting married for the first time at 48. She met him during the pandemic. I was married at 48 for the first time too.

Wow! So how old are you? 96 yrs old? Or did you have your DD as a teen before you got married?

[Anonymous]

What kind of man are you looking for?