My cousin doesn’t confide in our shared friends

[Anonymous]

You can’t be serious with this post. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t consider these friends to be as close as you perceive them to be?

But she lies. They ask how Larla is, and she lies and says she’s doing great.

Maybe she is great and not letting her diagnosis derail her.

[Anonymous]

I appreciate parents who keep their medical issues private unless the kid is OK with Sharing. And you're making a lot of assumptions that her kid isn't doing great.

[Anonymous]

I can tell you this. I had group of friends and felt very comfortable sharing everything.. A new gal joined our group. She also has a daughter my daughter's age, I just don't feel like sharing anymore because I don't know I can trust this new gal. So maybe that is all it is. Don't read too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you this. I had group of friends and felt very comfortable sharing everything.. A new gal joined our group. She also has a daughter my daughter's age, I just don't feel like sharing anymore because I don't know I can trust this new gal. So maybe that is all it is. Don't read too much.

Unironic use of “gal”. Fascinating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Play it out the other way, OP. Assume the cousin means well and has no ill intentions. What might be some reasons she wouldn’t share this information about her kid? Make some guesses and share here

I'm guessing OP and her friends are snobby gossips. At least OP is.

Where did you get “snobby” from? I can see where you get gossips if they all share everything, including about their kids/and spouses, but you just pulled “snobby” out of the sky. Why?

I can't quite put it into words. It's the fact that OP is mad that everyone thinks stuff in cousins life is great when OP thinks they aren't. I bet OP enjoys seeing bad things in others life so she can feel better about herself. She likely wants everyone to think she has the best life and is annoyed that cousin currently wears that "fake" crown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t consider these friends to be as close as you perceive them to be?

But she lies. They ask how Larla is, and she lies and says she’s doing great.

Maybe she is great and not letting her diagnosis derail her.

This. It's a back brace. Sounds like her DD still feels like she's doing great. Cousin probably doesnt want to make it a big deal. She sounds like a good mom.

[Anonymous]

I used to share everything with my friends and then I found out a group of people I had trusted were talking a ton of (false) smack about me behind my back. Stuff like saying my marriage was on the rocks because I’d told a friend about a fight I’d had with my DH, or people talking about how we were broke because I’d mentioned that we’d discussed moving to a lower COL area. Just ridiculous gossip based on what I’d thought was really run of the mill stuff in our lives. It was hurtful and embarrassing because I was so sad to learn how many people had gleefully shared these false rumors.

So now if donrr we one asks how things are going, I always say “great!” and change the subject. I have a couple close friends who are not part of a friend group I feel I can confide in, plus I talk to my DH and a therapist. Everyone else is strictly need to know.

Op, sounds like your cousin understands something important about people that you have yet to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t consider these friends to be as close as you perceive them to be?

But she lies. They ask how Larla is, and she lies and says she’s doing great.

So, when someone asks how you're doing, you assess each and every facet of your life in the response? The kid can in fact be "doing great" EVEN THOUGH she has scoliosis. That's not a lie.

You are too literal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin lives local to me. We went to the same college, and share a friend group. Four of us FaceTime every weekend, and frequently text.

She constantly omits details of her life. Everyone talks about what’s going on with kids and everything. I happen to know her daughter has scoliosis and is getting a back brace. But she just says everything is fine. This is just one example. It puts me in an awkward position where I know everyone shares and is being honest, and she acts like things are fine even when they are not.

Do I ask her why? Prompt a deeper conversation?

It puts you in no awkward position whatsoever. You want to gossip and chitchat with third parties about HER child and her experiences. You are amazingly immature. I’d say grow up, but that’s obviously not going to happen.

+1,000,000 OP, if you want to gossip about your kids then go for it. Leave your cousin and her kids out of it. I can tell you straight out that I would not ever be a friend of yours OP. You sound very immature and hateful. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Play it out the other way, OP. Assume the cousin means well and has no ill intentions. What might be some reasons she wouldn’t share this information about her kid? Make some guesses and share here

I'm guessing OP and her friends are snobby gossips. At least OP is.

Where did you get “snobby” from? I can see where you get gossips if they all share everything, including about their kids/and spouses, but you just pulled “snobby” out of the sky. Why?

I can't quite put it into words. It's the fact that OP is mad that everyone thinks stuff in cousins life is great when OP thinks they aren't. I bet OP enjoys seeing bad things in others life so she can feel better about herself. She likely wants everyone to think she has the best life and is annoyed that cousin currently wears that "fake" crown.

This.

[Anonymous]

Why do you think your cousin’s child’s medical issues are fodder for public consumption?

[Anonymous]

I don't know why you would expect her to disclose her child's medical information to friends. That's weird. Plus, it's not like scoliosis is some devastating, life threatening condition. Her kid will have to wear a brace for a few years, no big deal. Not even worth sharing unless someone maybe asks about the brace and she wants to tell them. You sound like you must share too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t consider these friends to be as close as you perceive them to be?

But she lies. They ask how Larla is, and she lies and says she’s doing great.

You HAVE to be a troll.

Do you even know what scoliosis is? It's just a curvature of the spine, it's not a big deal. Her child IS FINE, it's not a lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t consider these friends to be as close as you perceive them to be?

But she lies. They ask how Larla is, and she lies and says she’s doing great.

She can have scoliosis and be getting a back brace and be doing great.