How do army wives with 5 kids manage? I can barely take care of 2 kids w a spouse

[Anonymous]

I have only two but it wasn’t that bad when my husband was deployed. I even delivered my first while he was out at sea at some undisclosed location. It forces me to become a SAHM after a stint as an attorney. I didn’t care if the house was clean, and we too would just have pancakes for dinner some nights. I may have even gotten them happy meals (gasp) on rare occasions. I couldn’t do that with my husband around. He honestly wasn’t much help home anyways, he never changed a diaper or washed a dish. It was actually more work when he came home. I kinda wish he was still in the military.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are young, christian and vibrant not old liberal and tired like post meno moms of dcum

My best friend is a navy wife and is a year younger than me with four kids

[Anonymous]

I have an acquaintance whose husband is a firefighter. They have 5 kids and she is a SAHM. I think they have a strong church community.

[Anonymous]

I lived on base about 10 years ago. The support system is built into the military community through Family and Morale, Welfare and Recreation programs. All designed to support the family so that the service member can serve the country. The whole military family makes sacrifices. Included in MWR are social, fitness, recreational, educational, and other programs and activities that enhance community life, promote mental and physical fitness, and generally provide a working and living environment that supports the mission of the military.

[Anonymous]

Standards are lower. They tend to not be educated, so they’re not going to spend a lot of time on enriching games, reading, cooking nutritionally-balanced food, thinking about their development and what activities would best develop them. Which is fine, most kids don’t need that level of support. We educated UMC tend to over-do it.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think I saw this mentioned anywhere but with that many kids, the older ones take care of the younger ones. It’s not what I’d want for my kids but it does teach the older ones real responsibility and really strengthens family bonds.

My mom (now in her 70s, so a different generation) was the oldest of five and her dad was a traveling salesman. She had serious childcare responsibilities at a young age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Standards are lower. They tend to not be educated, so they’re not going to spend a lot of time on enriching games, reading, cooking nutritionally-balanced food, thinking about their development and what activities would best develop them. Which is fine, most kids don’t need that level of support. We educated UMC tend to over-do it.

Not enough 🙄 in the world for this post...

[Anonymous]

Once my friend got to 4, the oldest two were old enough to start helping more with things like really basic kitchen tasks, laundry under supervision, etc.

She is at 6 now, planning to continue, and said 3 was by far the hardest number because they were all too young to help or even help themselves meaningfully. It got easier after that.

[Anonymous]

I have 7 and am a military spouse. We do not live on post so I don’t have that support base that comes from living close together. My older don’t raise my younger, and my standards may be lower with regards to cleaning the house but certainly not with regards to reading to and educating them. My older kids are quite accomplished even in DCUM land.
I gave up a career and not really sure how you could do it and work unless your employer was extremely flexible. Just sick days, school days off, and appointments would all make me a terrible employee.
When my kids were young, I kept a very scheduled house. Otherwise I just did it. I agree it’s sometimes easier when the spouse is gone. I have fond memories of tossing a blanket on the living room floor and having picnics instead of spending an hour cooking a meal the little ones wouldn’t eat anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are young, christian and vibrant not old liberal and tired like post meno moms of dcum

Christian and liberal are not antonyms.

I’m Catholic, liberal, and had kids over decades. I was much more tired as a young mom than now with my last two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Standards are lower. They tend to not be educated, so they’re not going to spend a lot of time on enriching games, reading, cooking nutritionally-balanced food, thinking about their development and what activities would best develop them. Which is fine, most kids don’t need that level of support. We educated UMC tend to over-do it.

6:35 here and this post is cringey. You will find a lot of educated spouses especially in the DC area. I have two advanced degrees including a JD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its actually easier with little kids and a deployed husband sometimes. You can give them waffles and fruit for dinner and let them eat it in pajamas rather than having to make a big dinner for your husband. My husband would get stressed out by a messy house but life was a bit more casual while he was gone, etc I sleep trained two babies by letting them cry it out during deployments without him insisting on picking them up.

"having to make a big dinner for your husband"??

[Anonymous]

We have five. All grown now. My DH was deployed a lot. My kids grew up on military posts all over the world. My dad was military so I did the same. My DH deployed two weeks after my youngest was born. How do we do it? You just do. We had a huge support system on post. There were tons of kids around for my kids to play with. You develop close friendships and help each other when things are tough. You might be surprised by the things you can do when you have no choice.

I’m grateful my kids grew up living all over the world. That is an education that simply cannot be replicated. I’m grateful we lived in supportive communities. I’m also very aware that my DH’s rank influenced our experience. It’s typically much harder on enlisted families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Standards are lower. They tend to not be educated, so they’re not going to spend a lot of time on enriching games, reading, cooking nutritionally-balanced food, thinking about their development and what activities would best develop them. Which is fine, most kids don’t need that level of support. We educated UMC tend to over-do it.

That is not my experience of what I’ve observed living in Burke (admittedly officer families, not enlisted).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its actually easier with little kids and a deployed husband sometimes. You can give them waffles and fruit for dinner and let them eat it in pajamas rather than having to make a big dinner for your husband. My husband would get stressed out by a messy house but life was a bit more casual while he was gone, etc I sleep trained two babies by letting them cry it out during deployments without him insisting on picking them up.

"having to make a big dinner for your husband"??

Yeah. Contrary to 5:09 some of us are not too stupid to cook a nutritionally balanced meal for our families
Gotta love DCUM where you’ll be called out for cooking dinner for your husband AND being stereotyped as feeding your family crap. I’m certain 5:09 agrees we should pay our enlisted more money so they can afford to feed their families healthier.