Growing up, did you family do things for friends, neighbors and the community?

[Anonymous]

My parents were non-white immigrants in an extremely white town. They weren’t really part of “the community.”

I am very involved but more through schools and other organizations than the neighborhood. Our neighbors are very well resourced. We have shoveled snow and picked up groceries or included them with our order on occasion, but everyone is very self-sufficient.

[Anonymous]

I’m from the North and I didn’t know what a meal train was until I moved to Virginia and was pregnant with my first. (I did not participate in any, but my ultrasound tech told me about them.) We always participated in “benefits” (like a boozy but family-friendly party to raise money for someone with an illness) for (perhaps less fortunate or young) family and friends.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my father is a Rotarian. I’m a member of a church and participate in this sort of thing through that.

[Anonymous]

No, not at all.
Married my husband who was raised the opposite and I joined him in doing things for others and I love it and the relationships it brings. We will make an effort to involve the kids in age-appropriate volunteer activities. But I love how it is just a part of who husband is, it's not a conscious thing, just naturally does it. I want that for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Growing up, did you family do things for friends, neighbors and the community?
I'm talking about organizing or participating in meal trains for deaths/new moms, stepping in to help if a tragedy occurred with a neighbor, helping an elderly person your family knows with someone that may not be able to do, hosting showers at your home, volunteering for the school or sports team you are involved in? Being involved on boards or volunteering in the community.

And secondly, do you do this kind of thing now?

If not, why not?

Yes and yes. It is part of being part of a community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m from the North and I didn’t know what a meal train was until I moved to Virginia and was pregnant with my first. (I did not participate in any, but my ultrasound tech told me about them.) We always participated in “benefits” (like a boozy but family-friendly party to raise money for someone with an illness) for (perhaps less fortunate or young) family and friends.

I am also from the north and while we did not call it a meal train. We brought food to people in times of needs- as did other in our community.

[Anonymous]

My mom did alot. Extensive volunteering through organizations, adopted an elderly neighbor, primary caretaker for her mom. She didn't do anything for our schools because it was too political, but she was a helper and a doer.

I, and my siblings, are the same. Volunteer coaches, volunteering with community organizations, helping neighbors and each other, etc.

[Anonymous]

Yes, lots of one on one help to neighbors. Less organized volunteering, what we did do was more "give your time to charity" type service than "be part of local institutions." Still do - my dad, now that he's retired, is basically the free IT guy for the neighborhood.

I think when i was growing up, it really helped that my mom didn't work. I find it very hard to get formally involved with orgs and schools now as a working parent with small kids, and feel like finding opportunities to help that other people dont specifically point out is one of my weak points.

[Anonymous]

My mom was on a couple of committees.

I grew up in a very small town. If there was a big fire people got together and made lunches and coffee for the firefighters. The one time I recall a house fire there were donations to help the family. People to help clean up. Food for grieving families.

Same thing when we lived in a small town as adults. DH and I were on a couple of committees each. Church groups would arrange meals for families dealing with almost anything. The bank took donations when there was a fire, and when a young boy died and the family was struggling with final expenses.

Now we live in a city. There are people in our community who do food deliveries. One person organized food and gifts for needy families at Christmas, and is now arranging to provide a birthday dinner and small gifts for two kids per month.

We have a community Facebook page with an area for helpers of whatever kind. Yard work, grocery delivery, check ins, hauling away garbage, etc.

[Anonymous]

Military brat raised mostly in DC area. My SAHM was very close to our neighbors - so close that during family emergencies, we’d stay with each other’s families. One neighbor was my (paid) babysitter who ran an in-home daycare.

No volunteer work that I can think of - my mom claimed she was too busy (and she was) when the DC were young. Later in life she got politically involved and worked at polls, made phone calls, hosted parties for local candidates. Also she did a monthly service project with her church.

I, on the other hand, am an award-winning volunteer. Started at 12 volunteering in a hospital. I think being a Girl Scout inspired me because I loved volunteering when I was even younger. Continued with service groups in high school and college.

Extensive (but specific) program organizer and volunteer at DC ES. Over a decade for a local charity in hands on help.

Now in a paid position for another organization I volunteered for - decided I loved the work and the mission.

[Anonymous]

My mom volunteered in our schools and for our teams and dad always coached. DH and I both do that kind of thing pretty naturally -coach teams, manage basketball/swim/soccer teams, lots of PTA stuff, we definitely send meals to neighbors in case of a death in the family or serious illness. We always sponsor families at Thanksgiving and Christmas through our church. I also volunteer for a couple of local branches of national organizations, which one of my parents also did. My kids sometimes join us in volunteering, and have always liked us being involved as parents with their activities, and I would expect them to follow our example.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but with no social media involved and much less angst that today.

Several bad things happened to my family in the space of two years, we were evicted and went to live in a neighborhood of inner-city West Baltimore. Our street was an open-air drug market. But people just did things for each other without expecting anything in return. I swear, my impoverished neighbors then shared more generously of their limited time and resources than many of my middle class neighbors, coworkers, and “friends” do now.

[Anonymous]

Yes. We did Habitat for Humanity, delivered food baskets for the church, staffed and sorted the monthly food drive, my father coached our rec teams at various points, we were the family to our elderly neighbors who had no local family and took them to appointments, helped out with the maintenance of their house, etc. As soon as we could wield shovels, they sent us out to shovel for all the elderly folks on our street and individual volunteer work was expected as soon as we were old enough to go independently. At 13 I started volunteering twice a week at the local nursing home, at 15 I volunteered monthly at the local soup kitchen and generally stepped for anything needed... collecting donations at the local golf tournament, manning raffle ticket tables for the Exchange Club, tutoring elementary students in math, etc.

As an adult, I volunteer at my kids’ school, I’m president of the board of a non profit, a member of the board of a scholarship fund, I regularly give blood, and am always up to volunteer for one off events like food drives. We also give 10% of our income away a year. My parents also taught us to give to charity.

[Anonymous]

No, my dad typically was working 12 hour days or overnights and my mom was a nurse in a sahm focused town.

I bring my neighbors' packages in and I socialize with them.

[Anonymous]

The thing that is most memorable to me is that somehow thru the church we hosted random strangers overnight after a plane crash.