Is it ok for ex's new gf to post pics of my kids on social media?

[Anonymous]

Y’all just create drama when there isn’t any

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, find the good here. The good is that your kids like her and she likes them in return. It's generous of her to like them\love them and want to take care of them (babysitter drop off). Nurture that in case she becomes stepmom - she's the odds on favorite.

Agree that her Ex is skeezy and it rightly makes you nervous. But, work with what you know and keep GF close & happy because she has a huge direct impact on your children's lives (if she becomes stepmom). Really - from now until they're adults with kids of their own. Play the long game.

Posters are COMPLETELY ignoring the fact that the OPs ex husband has a girlfriend with a “Chis Watts” type ex.

Do what you need to do to protect your children. If you’re looking at her social media , I GUARANTEE her ex is also looking.

When you get the court order updated, be CERTAIN to include your reasons why (with evidence). No judge will allow this if you are primary legal custodian.

Talk to an attorney ASAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If their father allows it, then she does have the right to post those on her social media.
Your children's father is as much their parent as you are and has the right to decide who your kids spend time with when he's in charge of them unless there's a court order in place against it. It may be fair to make a request with him that his new gf not post pictures of your kids but that's all it is ..a request.

It seems like you have had to go through some heart breaking things and that you're sad and hurt. If you don't already have one, maybe a therapist could really help you process your feelings?

She doesn’t have a “right.” It’s tacky that she’s doing this.

[Anonymous]

1. You should talk with your exH about age-appropriate conversations with the kids, specifically that his gf should not be discussing her ex husband's behavior or their relationship.

(BTW, you only have HERESAY that her ex is abusive. Unless and until you have definitive proof there is absolutely no justification for you to go ballistic about her ex's alleged behavior and demand that your kids cannot be around her.)

2. If she posts pics of your kids there's not much you can do about it. Especially if your ex is in the photos or has approved it. These are his kids too. If his best male buddy had pics of himself with your kids at a ball game you'd probably not make a peep. Which leads to...

3. Your emotions. You admit you are hurt and are also probably jealous and angry and feeling a bit vindictive. There is another woman who is now your ex's lover and your kids actually like her. As a mother, and former wife, that's a very tough and bitter pill to swallow.

It is vitally important that you do not interfere or create issues when you have no bona fide reason to. What you will ultimately do is emotionally damage your own innocent children because they will be strangled by your loyalty bonds.

They need to maintain a healthy relationship with their father and that includes whoever he is with, whether you like her or not.

[Anonymous]

Op, this is not appropriate and you are right to be concerned. It's not your daughter's business to know about her dad's new GF's business. She needs to keep them out of it.

Also, it is too early for them to be dropped off by the new GF. Your ex-H can't shift his parental duties on to the new GF and if he is doing that then that is a matter of concern because more parental duties from his side would be transferred to her.

[Anonymous]

Age appropriate stuff is pretty serious. My ex-wife was showing bad inappropriate Hip Hop (I think it was PG-14) video to my 6 year old daughter and I wasn't ok with it. There is no need for kids to be exposed to something like this even if one parental is very lenient.

[Anonymous]

It is really inappropriate to tell 8. Shows poor judgement and boundaries and absolutely I would be concerned too.

Sometimes victims triangulate others, though not ill intentioned it is still very concerning and can be dangerous.

Do you have contact with a lawyer or coordinator or something already?

I would not let this go. You are right to be concerned. The daddy thing is also showing very poor judgement. I would be concerned new gf does stupid stuff like sending your kids with her kid to see her kids dad to keep her kid safe.

The gf is not the enemy but she is creating unsafe situations and possibly harming your kids. That is too big for an 8 yr old to carry.

I would write a clear letter to ex stating what you do want and what you don't want. what is ok what is not, and that you will follow up legally if necessary out of care and concern for your kids.

Keep your boundaries, and as their mom help your kids with theirs, bit dont flame fires.

[Anonymous]

She sounds immature with poor boundaries and poor judgment. Blah. I agree with others that there isn't much you can do legally. Anything you can do will be through your ex. If you have a decent relationship, I would approach him about the photos and don't talk about her, just keep it focused on your concerns at GF's ex and online safety. If you can get that resolved, then move on to inappropriate conversations. Mostly, I would just focus on having a strong, open relationship with your kids so they share stuff with you.

[Anonymous]

First of all, I’m really sorry that this is happening. It’s scary to have to worry about the short and long term effects on your kids because of an ex’s bad judgment.

Second, ignore the PPs who are accusing you of being overly reactive because of unresolved emotions. The behaviors you describe are irresponsible and disturbing. They are NOT okay and you are correct to have concerns. However, talking to a therapist is not a bad idea, specifically someone who specializes in dysfunctional family dynamics, because your ex and this woman have serious emotional issues (poor boundaries and codependency for sure, possibly personality disorders). I think it would be helpful to have support setting boundaries and teaching your kids about what is healthy behavior and how to set boundaries themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If their father allows it, then she does have the right to post those on her social media.
Your children's father is as much their parent as you are and has the right to decide who your kids spend time with when he's in charge of them unless there's a court order in place against it. It may be fair to make a request with him that his new gf not post pictures of your kids but that's all it is ..a request.

It seems like you have had to go through some heart breaking things and that you're sad and hurt. If you don't already have one, maybe a therapist could really help you process your feelings?

She doesn’t have a “right.” It’s tacky that she’s doing this.

Yes she does because their father gave her permission.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you contact the platform she is posting on (fb, insta, ect) and request the pics be taken down? Tell them that you did not give permission for the minors to be shown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If their father allows it, then she does have the right to post those on her social media.
Your children's father is as much their parent as you are and has the right to decide who your kids spend time with when he's in charge of them unless there's a court order in place against it. It may be fair to make a request with him that his new gf not post pictures of your kids but that's all it is ..a request.

It seems like you have had to go through some heart breaking things and that you're sad and hurt. If you don't already have one, maybe a therapist could really help you process your feelings?

+1

[Anonymous]

I would contact both of them and nicely request that they not post pics of your children. Frankly, it sounds as though you are still extremely angry with your ex and want an argument. The truth is that you can do nothing to stop this so just be nice and request that new girlfriend post no pics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP, can you contact the platform she is posting on (fb, insta, ect) and request the pics be taken down? Tell them that you did not give permission for the minors to be shown.

If their father gave permission then she is only going to make it worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If their father allows it, then she does have the right to post those on her social media.
Your children's father is as much their parent as you are and has the right to decide who your kids spend time with when he's in charge of them unless there's a court order in place against it. It may be fair to make a request with him that his new gf not post pictures of your kids but that's all it is ..a request.

It seems like you have had to go through some heart breaking things and that you're sad and hurt. If you don't already have one, maybe a therapist could really help you process your feelings?

She doesn’t have a “right.” It’s tacky that she’s doing this.

Yes she does because their father gave her permission.

Op, I am not sure of your financial capability but running this via a lawyer doesn't hurt. I am sure they could send a strong worded letter or may be bring this to the attention of the judge who might issue a gag-order to your ex and his new GF. BTW, kuddos to you for being protective of your kids. I am like this and would certainly have an issue with something like this.