Is it ok for ex's new gf to post pics of my kids on social media?

[Anonymous]

I know... ex h probably gave her permission. However, his new gf (maybe dating 4-5 months) has an abusive ex-husband herself. Which she TOLD one of my young daughters about. I was scrolling fb and my former niece had posted one of those warning posts about Shannan Watts and abusive spouses. And the new gf commented on it, that her ex was like that. Plus very lovey dovey comment toward my ex (just shoot me! I didn't even want to read this or come across comments like that! And I have taken measures to no longer see any of his family's posts).

So now I'm aware my ex h is in a brand new relationship with this girl, has practically moved her in with my kids (who LOVE her), and she has a very young daughter who has started calling my ex h "daddy" in the brief span of months they've been dating. Plus she has an ex h he compares to Chris Watts. So I politely asked ex if she would take down photos of my children from her fb page (yes I looked. I never should have, it hurt me. My cover photo is of my kids. Her cover is of MY KIDS). Do I really need Chris Watts double knowing anything about my children, while my ex is banging his freshly divorced ex wife, and his little daughter is calling my ex "daddy."

I really never intended for life to appear this Jerry Springer-ish. I divorced my cheating ex... keep to myself mostly... and date a normal guy who has only briefly met my kids after a year of dating.

[Anonymous]

I think it is OK to put limits on how much a non-family member can post photos of your children. Since she isn’t married to your ex, she is not a family member.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t be cool with this either. You and your x need to set some boundaries.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. Are you okay with it? Don’t be a bit$h for the sake of being one.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I don't feel good about it. The abusive ex part (which the gf talked to my 8yo about! I don't think that is the right age to learn how wrong love can go... my child told me the man "put hands on" gf and that he tried to kidnap their child) , or the lack of tact from my ex and his gf. They seem pretty "in your face" about the relationship even though I really want to be distanced. But my kids come home and talk non stop about the gf. They enjoy time with her, which IS great. I also found out ex had allowed gf to drop off/pick up the kids from their babysitter. Without informing me.

I don't want to be a b-word nightmare ex. But I keep getting backed into a corner and becoming this way.

[Anonymous]

That is heartbreaking. Yes she should take them down but probably won’t... unless the kids ask her to or the dad does.

I’m sorry the kids are caught in the middle like this. A jealous abusive ex (hers) generally has no boundaries when it comes to revenge.

You can also make it a court ordered thing if you have a child custody order.

[Anonymous]

If their father allows it, then she does have the right to post those on her social media.
Your children's father is as much their parent as you are and has the right to decide who your kids spend time with when he's in charge of them unless there's a court order in place against it. It may be fair to make a request with him that his new gf not post pictures of your kids but that's all it is ..a request.

It seems like you have had to go through some heart breaking things and that you're sad and hurt. If you don't already have one, maybe a therapist could really help you process your feelings?

[Anonymous]

Assuming their father ok’d it, then yes.

If it really bothers you, you can put it in the custody agreement. But she’s still have to be compliant or you’d be fighting over every little post. Doesn’t seem worth the headache.

[Anonymous]

You are divorced. You no longer control your ex, even as it pertains to your kids. It’s one of the downsides of divorce. Agree with PP that you should speak with a therapist to work through learning to not let these things bother you so much.

[Anonymous]

Do you post photos of them on social media?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you post photos of them on social media?

Yes, OP stated that her (OP's) cover photo is a photo of her kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, find the good here. The good is that your kids like her and she likes them in return. It's generous of her to like them\love them and want to take care of them (babysitter drop off). Nurture that in case she becomes stepmom - she's the odds on favorite.

Agree that her Ex is skeezy and it rightly makes you nervous. But, work with what you know and keep GF close & happy because she has a huge direct impact on your children's lives (if she becomes stepmom). Really - from now until they're adults with kids of their own. Play the long game.

[Anonymous]

Interesting.

I made some benign references to my boyfriends kids (in reference to distance learning). I later went through my activity log and deleted them because I decided I should t comment about his kids on social media.

If it were not for the ex husband who was abusive I would let it go. Given that....I understand your concern, but I’m not sure what you can do about it. Maybe have a convo with your ex? Tell him you heard her ex husband was abusive so having their picture on her page make should nervous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting.

I made some benign references to my boyfriends kids (in reference to distance learning). I later went through my activity log and deleted them because I decided I should t comment about his kids on social media.

If it were not for the ex husband who was abusive I would let it go. Given that....I understand your concern, but I’m not sure what you can do about it. Maybe have a convo with your ex? Tell him you heard her ex husband was abusive so having their picture on her page make should nervous?

*should not comment