Two types of parents. Which are you?

[Anonymous]

What kinds of traits do you see in adults, OP?

[Anonymous]

DH and I have opposing viewpoints on this, so our kids get a bit of both.

[Anonymous]

Teaching deescalation without violence can begin young. I’d tell the 9yo not to react that way and coach on other ways to address.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in NYC in the 80's. You can tell in my parenting. I'd have stayed out of it completely. They handled it fairly. Don't start a fight you can't finish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in NYC in the 80's. You can tell in my parenting. I'd have stayed out of it completely. They handled it fairly. Don't start a fight you can't finish.

I wonder if you would've had a different position if the 6 year old was a girl?

I think the mother intervened for the sake of the older boy rather than the younger. It's so important to teach boys especially to control their emotions and respond thoughtfully when provoked. I would've reprimanded the older child while secretly smiling and thinking that the 6 year old got what he deserved. I'm from nyc too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watched an interaction at the park with a friend, and friend suggested there are two types of parents.

A boy about 6 was being annoying to another boy about 9. They were there together with one woman, though I doubt they were brothers. Maybe cousins? The 6yo was pestering and otherwise being physically annoying to the 9yo, and the 9yo kept telling him to stop, leave him alone, and when he didn’t, he shoved the 6yo and the boy misstepped backwards and plopped on his butt. The woman with them witnessed it and then reprimanded the 9yo, telling him, you shouldn’t do that, he’s smaller than you, you shouldn’t be shoving him.

My friend and I almost simultaneously said to each other, well then, don’t pick on someone bigger than you!

My friend was like, there are two types of parents: ones who think like this woman, and ones who think like us. We discussed how you can tell which adults were raised by the “he’s smaller than you!” moms, and who was raised by the “don’t pick on someone bigger than you” moms.

What do you think?

I'm the third type of parent who observes the 6 year old irritating the 9 year old and corrects his behavior.

[Anonymous]

I would let the kids work it out. 6 year old learned to back off. 9 year old learned to stick up for themselves after trying to remedy the situation other ways. I don’t view a push as execessibely aggregious. It was a consequence of ignoring the 9 year old when they were using their words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let the kids work it out. 6 year old learned to back off. 9 year old learned to stick up for themselves after trying to remedy the situation other ways. I don’t view a push as execessibely aggregious. It was a consequence of ignoring the 9 year old when they were using their words.

This is assuming both kids were with me. I would intervene otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me: He’s smaller than you! No shoving! Younger kid, stop bothering older kid! If you guys can’t play without fighting, we’re going home.

Basically I’m yelling at everybody! Haha

- Mom to 3 kids

+1
-another Mom of 3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watched an interaction at the park with a friend, and friend suggested there are two types of parents.

A boy about 6 was being annoying to another boy about 9. They were there together with one woman, though I doubt they were brothers. Maybe cousins? The 6yo was pestering and otherwise being physically annoying to the 9yo, and the 9yo kept telling him to stop, leave him alone, and when he didn’t, he shoved the 6yo and the boy misstepped backwards and plopped on his butt. The woman with them witnessed it and then reprimanded the 9yo, telling him, you shouldn’t do that, he’s smaller than you, you shouldn’t be shoving him.

My friend and I almost simultaneously said to each other, well then, don’t pick on someone bigger than you!

My friend was like, there are two types of parents: ones who think like this woman, and ones who think like us. We discussed how you can tell which adults were raised by the “he’s smaller than you!” moms, and who was raised by the “don’t pick on someone bigger than you” moms.

What do you think?

I think its silly to be gossiping and speculating about two young kids and their dynamics! There are two kinds of people, ones who ignore such things in public because none of ya business and others that go on and make online posts about it.

[Anonymous]

Then there are the "no tattle" parents.

Kid 1: He hit me!
Parent: Are you tattling on your brother? That is not acceptable!

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on whether you were the oldest or youngest child. I find myself aiding more with my older because I remember getting blamed for everything my bad little sister did.

[Anonymous]

I’m the third type—correct & redirect 6 yo., reenforce respecting 9 yo’s words, WHILE ALSO correcting 9yo for being physically aggressive.

[Anonymous]

I’d let them fight it out. If the 6 year old wants to have at it with a 9 year old then it’s his problem. Life is full of lessons and it’s better to learn them at age 6 then age 26.

[Anonymous]

I’m the third type.

“Larlo, this is your only warning. If you keep poking him, he is going to react. As long as he doesn’t overreact, he will not get in trouble. You, on the other hand, were already asked politely to stop. So far, you owe your abc relative one chore for the day. Do you want to do 2 of his chores?”

I want the older child to speak up first. I will handle it with the older child if the reaction is immediate instead of trying communication first or an overreaction (slapping or yelling vs poking back or pushing away). And the younger child would already know that being the first to put their hands on someone else means that you WILL make amends (in that case, older child would pick one of their chores for the younger child to do).