How do you politely decline a request of guardianship?
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Anonymous
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I think you should yes — but for different reasons than everyone else.
If something were to happen to the parents, the child would go to the primary guardians. There’s a very real possibility this happens given the parents’ age. The parents are definitely aware of the challenges their son faces. They know if he’s difficult. They want a “backup guardian” so you can support the primary guardians. They want another set of eyes looking out for their kid. You should say yes with the expectation that you would be a formal safe place for the teen to turn to. You would be someone he could spend school breaks and holidays with. Someone who checks on him in college. Do you care about your cousin (and this kid) enough to be that person in his life? If yes, you should say yes. |
Anonymous
| She had her kid at 54? |
Anonymous
| We didn’t even ask our backup guardians tbh for sort of these reasons— the family politics didnt seem worth the candle. |
Anonymous
| He is an adult in two years. If you are the secondary guardian, the chances this comes to you are very, very, VERY slim. The peace of mind your cousin will feel of knowing there is a good plan is worth more than the risk you would actually need to do anything. In the 0.05% you need to step in, your familial instincts of taking care of this poor orphan will kick in. |
Anonymous
Maybe they adopted? This seems weird to me too. |
Anonymous
That's the first thing I thought! |
Anonymous
| "how do I say" .... (this or anything else) ... there are no secret words that make it better. You get through a difficult conversation. You're not fooling anyone with special phrasing. |
Anonymous
YES. How is this not the main conversation? I say that not with snark, but with genuine curiosity. Actual advice to OP - just say yes. The number of things that would need to go wrong between now and then is really unlikely. Just make sure you aren't on the hook after age 18. |
Anonymous
| Say yes. Confirm that he would be financially provided for (since you have a young family already). Come on. Don’t say no. You’re backup. |
Anonymous
| Wait a 70 year old woman has a 16 year old son? WTAF? |
Anonymous
Adopted |
Anonymous
| It would be very silly to say no but it seems being silly runs in the family. |
Anonymous
He is adopted! OP. |
Anonymous
| Do you live in the same city? How old are your kids? Do you work full time? |
Anonymous
Not just death. We’ve resisted guardianship because my DH was diagnosed with cancer and we couldn’t handle his care needs as well as an additional teen. |