How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?

[Anonymous]

I am your age and have two, both in middle school. I wish I’d had one more, but right after #2. I had a brief pregnancy scare two months ago and realized how much I do NOT want another one now, at my age and with my kids so close to independence.

My kids are the best part of my life, and I like my life! But one more now would be a serious financial pinch, a big setback in the kinds of activities we are able to do, and kind of a drag for my aging body. I already can barely get through a three mile run without needing to stop and pee. One more pregnancy would probably put me over the edge!

[Anonymous]

3, hell no.

[Anonymous]

1, id have 2. If I could change - I’d a) not have major fertility issues and keep having miscarriages or b) have a ton of $$$ to pay a surrogate to carry my lonely frozen embryo.

[Anonymous]

I would have been happy with more, but more than two would have been too much for DH, so two works best for our family.

[Anonymous]

Five. The youngest is 18. I love having a big family! Our house was crazy and loud and fun! My kids are still very close as adults. But, I mostly SAH. And I had my youngest when I was 34. There is no way I could have managed five young children in my 40s. DH and I are 52 and empty nesters.

[Anonymous]

I’m almost 42 and I have two children. They are eight and six. Every now and then I see a family with three and I feel a pang. That said, the only families I know that have three and are not seriously struggling logistically have significant local family help - Kids sleeping over with grandparents, local cousins who babysit etc. We have money but that’s not the concern. The concern would be time... Time for each kid and time for the kids together and us as a family (vs dealing with a baby napping etc). And the families of three that I know - the siblings are not as close as in the ones that have two. And the parents always seem overwhelmed.

So yes although sometimes I see families with three kids and I think maybe we should’ve done that overall I’m glad we didn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m almost 42 and I have two children. They are eight and six. Every now and then I see a family with three and I feel a pang. That said, the only families I know that have three and are not seriously struggling logistically have significant local family help - Kids sleeping over with grandparents, local cousins who babysit etc. We have money but that’s not the concern. The concern would be time... Time for each kid and time for the kids together and us as a family (vs dealing with a baby napping etc). And the families of three that I know - the siblings are not as close as in the ones that have two. And the parents always seem overwhelmed.

So yes although sometimes I see families with three kids and I think maybe we should’ve done that overall I’m glad we didn’t.

One more comment – I see so many families dealing with special needs with their kids. Knock wood ours don’t have any now. But I don’t think I could terminate my kids’ sibling (although I am pro-choice) and the idea of a child with significant special needs and the effect on my existing children would be too much.

[Anonymous]

Have one. Have nightmares about pregnancy. Used to feel very broody when he was in his baby baby years but now that we have a happy preschooler I feel like we can “have it all”. We both are able to have jobs we love and can dedicate time to but we’re always there for our kid. We also have sex and travel and our marriage has built back up since the shock of baby and we’re a balanced and happy bunch!

[Anonymous]

I'm 37, and we have 3 young kids. I'd like to have one or two more, but I won't be heartbroken if it doesn't happen. We both work full time, so there's a lot to do, but I don't feel like going from 2 to 3 made a huge difference. The most physically challenging part is from 12 to 20 months or so in my experience. The kid's very mobile, but relatively incompetent safety-wise and disobedient. By age 3 or 4, they're fairly independent.

[Anonymous]

We have four. We took a big breath after three, thought hard about another and decided (especially me) that we weren’t done. After the fourth, we never discussed more. There was certainty in both of us that our family was complete. That’s how I knew that four was right for us - I wanted that certainty instead of an internal debate. Our kids are older, some out of the house, but are close (when they aren’t bickering with each other!). Holidays and vacations are the best, and we all look forward to everyone being in the same place at the same time. I also love that they do a great job of watching out for each other, and someone inevitably let’s us know if they think a sibling is having issues that need our intervention. We definitely have time to spend with each of them and the idea that the oldest has ever needed to parent is laughable, but I am aware that we are financially well off and that helped to make this all work.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 and am totally two and through. Mine are 9 and 11 and I'm 43 and DH is 45.

[Anonymous]

We have two and I'm done. I told DH the only way I'd consider having another is if we won mega millions, which is probably a REALLY long shot since I don't buy tickets. I would need the money to afford me extra time to spend with all three. Right now I can manage two, but already feel like I'd love to spend more time with them.

[Anonymous]

We have three. I used to want 4, way back before we had any, but I’m really quite happy with three. I’m definitely done having babies now.

[Anonymous]

I have four at forty-five. Wish I'd had more.

[Anonymous]

I have three and we are 99% sure we are done. The third is two and doesn’t sleep through the night yet. Plus we are discovering that big kids (7 and 5) are fun and a baby would hold us back.