Step parents in blended families, what is the answer to "is he your only child?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, the worst OP. I'm so glad my husband calls my son his son and treats him like his son.

PP, is your son's father in his life?

Not the OP, but it isn't about how you treat or how much you love the children. Usually when people ask you how many they have, they are not assessing your love for your children, they are seeing how you spend your time, what you might have in common, etc.

I love my step-children like my own and no words can change that. They wouldn't disagree. But I'm not their mother. They have a mother who they love and who is involved in their life and I respect that. When I identify myself as a step-mother, it says nothing more than that. Identifying my role. It is not exactly the same as as being their full time mother from birth.

Yes, his Dad is in his life! He is still also my husband's son too. My husband is his step Father, and my son is his son. There is no step in at least his title and the love that my husband gives him.

That’s truly obnoxious and offensive. hopefully you refrain from saying that in front of your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“He has two half-siblings.”

I don’t like this answer. That’s about as distant as you can be!
Also, OP, I assume it’s a typo, but you write”we” have stepchildren. Unless I’m reading it wrong, your husband doesn’t, right? He has 3 kids, period.
For you, I like the answers that say you are also stepmom to 2 more kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“He has two half-siblings.”

I don’t like this answer. That’s about as distant as you can be!
Also, OP, I assume it’s a typo, but you write”we” have stepchildren. Unless I’m reading it wrong, your husband doesn’t, right? He has 3 kids, period.
For you, I like the answers that say you are also stepmom to 2 more kids.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

I have a colleague in your situation and she says "I have two children and two stepchildren" - which is completely accurate.

[Anonymous]

I say, This is our son and I have three grown step kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“He has two half-siblings.”

I don’t like this answer. That’s about as distant as you can be!
Also, OP, I assume it’s a typo, but you write”we” have stepchildren. Unless I’m reading it wrong, your husband doesn’t, right? He has 3 kids, period.
For you, I like the answers that say you are also stepmom to 2 more kids.

Agreed.

disagree. it emphasizes to the child that they are his siblings - which is the most important thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“He has two half-siblings.”

I don’t like this answer. That’s about as distant as you can be!
Also, OP, I assume it’s a typo, but you write”we” have stepchildren. Unless I’m reading it wrong, your husband doesn’t, right? He has 3 kids, period.
For you, I like the answers that say you are also stepmom to 2 more kids.

Agreed.

disagree. it emphasizes to the child that they are his siblings - which is the most important thing.

The OP isn't speaking to the child so she doesn't need to emphasize anything. she is speaking to an adult. She can tell the child that he has two siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“He has two half-siblings.”[/quote

+ 1, most accurate answer without unnecessarily disclosing personal/relationship status should you choose to be discrete

[Anonymous]

"Yes."

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you just say “I have 2 other children. Larlo Sr’s children from his first marriage are in college, so we only have Larlo Jr at home”?

[Anonymous]

“I also have 2 step-children”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, the worst OP. I'm so glad my husband calls my son his son and treats him like his son.

PP, is your son's father in his life?

Not the OP, but it isn't about how you treat or how much you love the children. Usually when people ask you how many they have, they are not assessing your love for your children, they are seeing how you spend your time, what you might have in common, etc.

I love my step-children like my own and no words can change that. They wouldn't disagree. But I'm not their mother. They have a mother who they love and who is involved in their life and I respect that. When I identify myself as a step-mother, it says nothing more than that. Identifying my role. It is not exactly the same as as being their full time mother from birth.

Yes, his Dad is in his life! He is still also my husband's son too. My husband is his step Father, and my son is his son. There is no step in at least his title and the love that my husband gives him.

Does he call your husband "dad"?

Nope

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, the worst OP. I'm so glad my husband calls my son his son and treats him like his son.

PP, is your son's father in his life?

Not the OP, but it isn't about how you treat or how much you love the children. Usually when people ask you how many they have, they are not assessing your love for your children, they are seeing how you spend your time, what you might have in common, etc.

I love my step-children like my own and no words can change that. They wouldn't disagree. But I'm not their mother. They have a mother who they love and who is involved in their life and I respect that. When I identify myself as a step-mother, it says nothing more than that. Identifying my role. It is not exactly the same as as being their full time mother from birth.

Yes, his Dad is in his life! He is still also my husband's son too. My husband is his step Father, and my son is his son. There is no step in at least his title and the love that my husband gives him.

That’s truly obnoxious and offensive. hopefully you refrain from saying that in front of your son.

Saying what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, the worst OP. I'm so glad my husband calls my son his son and treats him like his son.

PP, is your son's father in his life?

Not the OP, but it isn't about how you treat or how much you love the children. Usually when people ask you how many they have, they are not assessing your love for your children, they are seeing how you spend your time, what you might have in common, etc.

I love my step-children like my own and no words can change that. They wouldn't disagree. But I'm not their mother. They have a mother who they love and who is involved in their life and I respect that. When I identify myself as a step-mother, it says nothing more than that. Identifying my role. It is not exactly the same as as being their full time mother from birth.

Yes, his Dad is in his life! He is still also my husband's son too. My husband is his step Father, and my son is his son. There is no step in at least his title and the love that my husband gives him.

That’s truly obnoxious and offensive. hopefully you refrain from saying that in front of your son.

Saying what?

that his stepdad is is "dad" and no different from his biodad. that is a horrible thing to say in front of a kid and suggests that OP is more invested in her own. beliefs about her "perfect" family than her child's actual emotional health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer is “We have three”

My dad remarried when I was young and I have two half siblings from his second marriage. My stepmom just tells everyone that she has three children. My siblings and I rarely say anything about being half siblings. It only comes up if we’re talking about genetics or something.

+1.

My partner says "we have one kid at home" - especially if its just small talk with someone you don't know well. If they know you well, or get to know you better, then they'll find out the nitty gritty details. When its just small talk they're trying to figure out if you have a big or small family, do you have advice about how you got through whatever phase, and its not important that they know allllll about how your family was formed.