5 great dates then he ghosts. Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on what I thought were 5 great dates: constant easy, engaging conversation and good physical chemistry then all of a sudden he disappears. Why do men do that?

You are casually dating. Five dates is not a relationship. He does not owe a reason after 5 dates. Nor do you. He's just not that into you.

Honestly even up to 8 - 10 - 12 dates is casual dating.

Have low expectations. Enjoy the dates. Dating should be light, enjoyable, low pressure. etc.

Five dates is still casually dating, meeting other people, non exclusive etc. He does not owe you any explanation nor would you in the reverse situation

signed, a woman

If you have a minimum of respect for others, you should at least say a few words. I can't stand people who think ghosting is normal.

This. I don't understand how the dating norms have shifted so much in the last 20 years that now, not only is it expected that the person you are seeing will be seeing and sleeping with other people for the first six months of your relationship, but that during this time they are entitled to just stop responding to your texts or calls, and you are considered weak and pathetic for expecting a polite good bye. What the hell is wrong with people?

Christ, I had the courtesy to call my dentist to let them know i was going to start seeing another dentist.

Point is: The guy in OP's story may have had a ton of valid reasons to go from dating to not dating. But he owed her a damn phone call or text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on what I thought were 5 great dates: constant easy, engaging conversation and good physical chemistry then all of a sudden he disappears. Why do men do that?

You are casually dating. Five dates is not a relationship. He does not owe a reason after 5 dates. Nor do you. He's just not that into you.

Honestly even up to 8 - 10 - 12 dates is casual dating.

Have low expectations. Enjoy the dates. Dating should be light, enjoyable, low pressure. etc.

Five dates is still casually dating, meeting other people, non exclusive etc. He does not owe you any explanation nor would you in the reverse situation

signed, a woman

If you have a minimum of respect for others, you should at least say a few words. I can't stand people who think ghosting is normal.

This! “Hey, nice knowing you, but I don’t think this is gonna work out.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s just not that into you.
That book came out after I was married but I think somehow that very simple concept would have changed my dating life. I don’t know why we look for complicated reasons and justifications. The reason is pretty much always he’s just not that into you and you should move on and find someone who is. Good luck.

I lived by that book when I was single and most of the time it served me really well, except I ended up blowing off the guy I really wanted because he "didn't move mountains" for me. Years later we talked and I found out he was actually crazy about me, he was just insanely shy and thought I wasn't interested.

Who knows, maybe we would have gotten together and not worked out, but sometimes the wondering of what could have been drives me nuts.

+1
I don't know about the book, but this is true of a lot of guys, which is why OP is asking, I suspect. Sometimes, it is hard to tell, either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s just not that into you.
That book came out after I was married but I think somehow that very simple concept would have changed my dating life. I don’t know why we look for complicated reasons and justifications. The reason is pretty much always he’s just not that into you and you should move on and find someone who is. Good luck.

This. Such a simple premise, and yet so helpful. It doesn’t really matter why he did it. Time to move on.

If only it was so easy to maturely accept the fact and move on. Another point for op to consider: a person who ghosts you isn't worthy of another thought.

It should be, after 5 dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s just not that into you.
That book came out after I was married but I think somehow that very simple concept would have changed my dating life. I don’t know why we look for complicated reasons and justifications. The reason is pretty much always he’s just not that into you and you should move on and find someone who is. Good luck.

This. Such a simple premise, and yet so helpful. It doesn’t really matter why he did it. Time to move on.

If only it was so easy to maturely accept the fact and move on. Another point for op to consider: a person who ghosts you isn't worthy of another thought.

It should be, after 5 dates.

Yes, it should be but, sadly, it isn't.

[Anonymous]

Rude no matter who does it.

[Anonymous]

Rude. Not worth finding out why. I’ve been there and it sucks, but you just have to move on.

[Anonymous]

Who cares, he's gone. Find someone who wants to be there

[Anonymous]

I hate this because then you start to double think yourself assuming you "did" something because you don't want to make the same mistake again. Don't do this. His ghosting you was about him. Continue dating, have fun, be honest with them and yourself. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually they catch an odor. Hygiene is super important in the beginning

For me it was unwashed hair. I just couldn’t get over.

[Anonymous]

A guy I had been in a relationship with for a year stopped calling or texting. Everything was going fine. Don’t know why he blew me off.

After 10 days Sent him an email, “ hey , I’m getting the feeling this is over?” He did respond and acknowledged the end. He was 60 years old st the time. Don’t blame youth culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on what I thought were 5 great dates: constant easy, engaging conversation and good physical chemistry then all of a sudden he disappears. Why do men do that?

You are casually dating. Five dates is not a relationship. He does not owe a reason after 5 dates. Nor do you. He's just not that into you.

Honestly even up to 8 - 10 - 12 dates is casual dating.

Have low expectations. Enjoy the dates. Dating should be light, enjoyable, low pressure. etc.

Five dates is still casually dating, meeting other people, non exclusive etc. He does not owe you any explanation nor would you in the reverse situation

signed, a woman

If you have a minimum of respect for others, you should at least say a few words. I can't stand people who think ghosting is normal.

+1. Particularly if he paid for all the dates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s just not that into you.
That book came out after I was married but I think somehow that very simple concept would have changed my dating life. I don’t know why we look for complicated reasons and justifications. The reason is pretty much always he’s just not that into you and you should move on and find someone who is. Good luck.

This. Such a simple premise, and yet so helpful. It doesn’t really matter why he did it. Time to move on.

If only it was so easy to maturely accept the fact and move on. Another point for op to consider: a person who ghosts you isn't worthy of another thought.

It should be, after 5 dates.

Yes, it should be but, sadly, it isn't.

Why are you giving so much emotional power to someone you barely know?

[Anonymous]

Why did he end it?
—He’s not interested in pursuing a relationship with you.

Why did he ghost you?
—He’s rude and lacking in basic kindness and communication skills.

Move on. Not worth another minute of your mental energy.

[Anonymous]

5 date rule. For me it's 3. No matter how good the dates are if date 3 doesn't end in sex, time to move on. I won't ghost however. Some people just don't like conflict. He doesn't have a reason other than no sex and it will make him sound shallow. Anything else is a lie, which could lead to an issue, so he avoids.

I keep it simple: it's just not working for me right now...