“Adopting” or finding “Donated” Embryos

[Anonymous]

I was able to receive 3 donated embryos through my clinic. They were created with donor egg and used by another family who had success and donated back the remaining. I have my FET in 2 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of clinics have programs. Like, Shady Grove has a program that I understand to have very little wait. (However, I think it's entirely anonymous donation.)

Shady Grove's program is very small and they told me that their "database is very, very low." As of a few weeks ago, they had 0 Caucasian embryos and 15 patients in the waitlist. And yes, their program is strictly anonymous.

OP here. I was at Shady Grove and they never, ever mentioned this to me. They only brought up donor egg, which I am not comfortable with. How do I find the program? I don't see it on their website?

Nevermind I was able to find it. It's amazing they never mentioned this.

I believe this is a new program, and given that it's so small I don't think they're comfortable advertising it just yet. I asked my doctor if they did donor embryos, she said yes and put me in touch with the donor embryo coordinator. You can ask your nurse to have the coordinator reach out to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was able to receive 3 donated embryos through my clinic. They were created with donor egg and used by another family who had success and donated back the remaining. I have my FET in 2 weeks.

What is your clinic. I contacted Shady Grove and, like the PP said, they basically have nothing. Probably because they don't even offer it as an option to people - it's either donate them to science, destroy them, or donate them to a specific person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of clinics have programs. Like, Shady Grove has a program that I understand to have very little wait. (However, I think it's entirely anonymous donation.)

Shady Grove's program is very small and they told me that their "database is very, very low." As of a few weeks ago, they had 0 Caucasian embryos and 15 patients in the waitlist. And yes, their program is strictly anonymous.

Shady Grove called me like 6 times when I tried to thaw my remaining embryos. I am glad my husband and I were confident in our decision because otherwise I would have found their inability to take no for an answer really upsetting. I assumed we would donate our embryos, but ultimately we decided that we didn’t want an open adoption/donation and we didn’t want to create siblings that our children could find as adults through DNA matches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was able to receive 3 donated embryos through my clinic. They were created with donor egg and used by another family who had success and donated back the remaining. I have my FET in 2 weeks.

What is your clinic. I contacted Shady Grove and, like the PP said, they basically have nothing. Probably because they don't even offer it as an option to people - it's either donate them to science, destroy them, or donate them to a specific person.

That’s what the website says, but when you try to dispose of your embryos they will call you and tell you otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was able to receive 3 donated embryos through my clinic. They were created with donor egg and used by another family who had success and donated back the remaining. I have my FET in 2 weeks.

What is your clinic. I contacted Shady Grove and, like the PP said, they basically have nothing. Probably because they don't even offer it as an option to people - it's either donate them to science, destroy them, or donate them to a specific person.

Its Penn medicine in Philadelphia. I should caution that I have been working with them for 2 years (through 4 retrievals, multiple miscarriages, failed implantations, and an ERA) and that length of time high on the embryo list. My understanding is that ppl can jump up more quickly if the donating family directed embryos a particular way (ie please donate to family with same race/ethnicity).

[Anonymous]

I put my embryo on an embryo adoption website but people didn't seem to want it because it was just one. I think Shady Grove should offer that option more to people. I also agree with PP that it was weird that Shady Grove kept calling me and asking me if I wanted the embryo after I signed a legal document saying I wanted it thawed. I would have donated to research but they didn't provide that option to me two years ago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We donated our embryos through Nightlight and the adopting family had fraternal twins a month ago.

The twins are doing well. They are gaining weight and cute as a button.

How do you feel about the twins? I have 2 PGS normal embryos in storage but am struggling with what to do with them.

Honestly, I cried when they were born. I'm sad about the separation between their family and ours. But it's an open adoption and I'm hopeful that we will be in each other's lives to some extent.

Overall, I'm glad that the twins are alive and that the adopting parents now have kids. But I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a certain sadness, too.

Do you feel like they are your biological children?
It was an incredibly kind and generous thing you did in donating those embryos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I put my embryo on an embryo adoption website but people didn't seem to want it because it was just one. I think Shady Grove should offer that option more to people. I also agree with PP that it was weird that Shady Grove kept calling me and asking me if I wanted the embryo after I signed a legal document saying I wanted it thawed. I would have donated to research but they didn't provide that option to me two years ago

What website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We donated our embryos through Nightlight and the adopting family had fraternal twins a month ago.

The twins are doing well. They are gaining weight and cute as a button.

How do you feel about the twins? I have 2 PGS normal embryos in storage but am struggling with what to do with them.

Honestly, I cried when they were born. I'm sad about the separation between their family and ours. But it's an open adoption and I'm hopeful that we will be in each other's lives to some extent.

Overall, I'm glad that the twins are alive and that the adopting parents now have kids. But I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a certain sadness, too.

Do you feel like they are your biological children?
It was an incredibly kind and generous thing you did in donating those embryos.

Yes, I do feel that they are my biological children, though the adopting mother's uterus has influenced their genetic expression to some extent.

But to me the incomparably more important parent/chlld relationship is based on who will actually raise the kids. And so to me the adopting mother is the twins' real mother. I'm guessing that the adopting mother feels the same way, though she may also feel somewhat uneasy, similar to the emotions experienced by mothers who adopt babies.

My family is still trying to figure out how to name and describe our relationship with this other family. To preserve my emotional health I try not to dwell too much on it. We're going to have to see how things play out with the other family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We donated our embryos through Nightlight and the adopting family had fraternal twins a month ago.

The twins are doing well. They are gaining weight and cute as a button.

How do you feel about the twins? I have 2 PGS normal embryos in storage but am struggling with what to do with them.

Honestly, I cried when they were born. I'm sad about the separation between their family and ours. But it's an open adoption and I'm hopeful that we will be in each other's lives to some extent.

Overall, I'm glad that the twins are alive and that the adopting parents now have kids. But I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a certain sadness, too.

Do you feel like they are your biological children?
It was an incredibly kind and generous thing you did in donating those embryos.

Yes, I do feel that they are my biological children, though the adopting mother's uterus has influenced their genetic expression to some extent.

But to me the incomparably more important parent/chlld relationship is based on who will actually raise the kids. And so to me the adopting mother is the twins' real mother. I'm guessing that the adopting mother feels the same way, though she may also feel somewhat uneasy, similar to the emotions experienced by mothers who adopt babies.

My family is still trying to figure out how to name and describe our relationship with this other family. To preserve my emotional health I try not to dwell too much on it. We're going to have to see how things play out with the other family.

Do you regret your decision?

[Anonymous]

I have an part Asian Embryo that I want to go to a family with at least one person having that ethnicity. I’m on a few FB groups, but finding it difficult to find anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We donated our embryos through Nightlight and the adopting family had fraternal twins a month ago.

The twins are doing well. They are gaining weight and cute as a button.

How do you feel about the twins? I have 2 PGS normal embryos in storage but am struggling with what to do with them.

Honestly, I cried when they were born. I'm sad about the separation between their family and ours. But it's an open adoption and I'm hopeful that we will be in each other's lives to some extent.

Overall, I'm glad that the twins are alive and that the adopting parents now have kids. But I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a certain sadness, too.

Do you feel like they are your biological children?
It was an incredibly kind and generous thing you did in donating those embryos.

Yes, I do feel that they are my biological children, though the adopting mother's uterus has influenced their genetic expression to some extent.

But to me the incomparably more important parent/chlld relationship is based on who will actually raise the kids. And so to me the adopting mother is the twins' real mother. I'm guessing that the adopting mother feels the same way, though she may also feel somewhat uneasy, similar to the emotions experienced by mothers who adopt babies.

My family is still trying to figure out how to name and describe our relationship with this other family. To preserve my emotional health I try not to dwell too much on it. We're going to have to see how things play out with the other family.

Do you regret your decision?

Nope, we don't regret the choice. We still believe in the convictions that guided our original decision. But we're going to have to grow emotionally to adapt to this new life and reality.

[Anonymous]

Rhank you so much for sharing your story person who donated. We have 4 in the freezer and we should make some decisions soon about them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was able to receive 3 donated embryos through my clinic. They were created with donor egg and used by another family who had success and donated back the remaining. I have my FET in 2 weeks.

What is your clinic. I contacted Shady Grove and, like the PP said, they basically have nothing. Probably because they don't even offer it as an option to people - it's either donate them to science, destroy them, or donate them to a specific person.

Has something changed? Shady Grove had a donated embryo program last year. They offered it as an option when we were moving to DE. Their pool was small though and the embryos were non-PGS tested and from older couples so we decided to stick with DE.