Reply to “Adopting” or finding “Donated” Embryos

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We donated our embryos through Nightlight and the adopting family had fraternal twins a month ago.

The twins are doing well. They are gaining weight and cute as a button.[/quote]

How do you feel about the twins?  I have 2 PGS normal embryos in storage but am struggling with what to do with them.[/quote]

Honestly, I cried when they were born. I'm sad about the separation between their family and ours. But it's an open adoption and I'm hopeful that we will be in each other's lives to some extent.

Overall, I'm glad that the twins are alive and that the adopting parents now have kids. But I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a certain sadness, too.[/quote]

Do you feel like they are your biological children?
It was an incredibly kind and generous thing you did in donating those embryos. [/quote]

Yes, I do feel that they are my biological children, though the adopting mother's uterus has influenced their genetic expression to some extent.

But to me the incomparably more important parent/chlld relationship is based on who will actually raise the kids. And so to me the adopting mother is the twins' real mother. I'm guessing that the adopting mother feels the same way, though she may also feel somewhat uneasy, similar to the emotions experienced by mothers who adopt babies.

My family is still trying to figure out how to name and describe our relationship with this other family. To preserve my emotional health I try not to dwell too much on it. We're going to have to see how things play out with the other family.[/quote]

Do you regret your decision?[/quote]

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