Husband screamed at me and never apologized or acknowledged it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On Wednesday evening my husband came home after drinking with a friend. I was in a pissy mood and made a comment about how I feel we are behind and all our friends are moving on, growing up, buying houses, having babies etc.

He grows cold and snaps at me saying he’s not dealing with this again.

I am taken aback by his sudden change of tone and tell him I’d like for him to listen to me.

He refuses and walks out of the room. I follow him in the living room and he tells me to go away. I feel confused and ask why. He says leave me alone. I say no you have to talk to me. He started yelling and screaming at me to leave him alone. I tell him to stop acting that way. I go over and touch him saying I love him and it’s ok and that he needs to calm down. He screams in my face, “ go away!!! Leave me alone!!! I want to bash my head against a wall!”

I start crying and go hide in the bedroom.

The next morning I leave for work. He texts me at noon as if it’s another ordinary day.

It’s Friday now and he still hasn’t apologized.

god it's you again. the martyr.. the helpless victim. YOU ARE THE F*CKING PROBLEM.

[Anonymous]

You should apologize for following and badgering him.

He should apologize for screaming at you.

You both probably need counseling for better communication strategies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should apologize for following and badgering him.

He should apologize for screaming at you.

You both probably need counseling for better communication strategies.

And OP needs to leave the poor guy alone and bust her own hump to provide the life she wants FOR HERSELF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On Wednesday evening my husband came home after drinking with a friend. I was in a pissy mood and made a comment about how I feel we are behind and all our friends are moving on, growing up, buying houses, having babies etc.

He grows cold and snaps at me saying he’s not dealing with this again.

I am taken aback by his sudden change of tone and tell him I’d like for him to listen to me.

He refuses and walks out of the room. I follow him in the living room and he tells me to go away. I feel confused and ask why. He says leave me alone. I say no you have to talk to me. He started yelling and screaming at me to leave him alone. I tell him to stop acting that way. I go over and touch him saying I love him and it’s ok and that he needs to calm down. He screams in my face, “ go away!!! Leave me alone!!! I want to bash my head against a wall!”

I start crying and go hide in the bedroom.

The next morning I leave for work. He texts me at noon as if it’s another ordinary day.

It’s Friday now and he still hasn’t apologized.

So, OP, I’m guessing you’ve spent the last few days applying for jobs that will increase your earning potential, and looking at homes you can afford? Plus of course, the obvious answer of looking for a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You authored the “husband says I’m a monster” thread, right?

Hmm. I was thinking it was the woman who was going to make falafel and then decided not to but I think you might be right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life lesson: never bring up heavy, controversial life stuff while either of you have been drinking.

Also, when someone leaves the room to avoid a confrontation with you, don’t follow them!! Sheesh!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You authored the “husband says I’m a monster” thread, right?

+1

I thought the same thing around the “taken aback” line.

In any case, OP, you picked a fight with someone who was out having fun and who you knew was drinking. Yes, you should apologize.

And learn to weigh your words and demeanour. A few episodes of Daniel Tiger May be helpful for you.

Stop, stop stop, it’s okay to feel angry. It’s not, not, not okay to hurt someone.

Count down, to calm down 5-4-3-2-1

When you feel so mad, that you want to roar, take a deep breath, and count to four.

+2. Also, the crying when confronted right back.

Holy crap, OP. Stop is right. You have to be kidding me.

[Anonymous]

Lol I'm sorry this is funny.

[Anonymous]

Are you the same poster whose husband said she was a "monster"?

[Anonymous]

While there are clearly issues in this relationship, I do not think that it is ever okay for one spouse to scream at another after drinking, threaten self-harm, and then pretend nothing happened. THAT is something that abusers do.

It should be possible for one partner to be frustrated with certain things and express that frustration to their spouse without an angry outburst.

That you guys think this is all OP's fault is pretty terrible.

[Anonymous]

Leave him alone OP. Honestly.

Get a divorce now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While there are clearly issues in this relationship, I do not think that it is ever okay for one spouse to scream at another after drinking, threaten self-harm, and then pretend nothing happened. THAT is something that abusers do.

It should be possible for one partner to be frustrated with certain things and express that frustration to their spouse without an angry outburst.

That you guys think this is all OP's fault is pretty terrible.

We know her pattern.

[Anonymous]

I’m ready to bang MY head against a wall reading OP’s posts. I don’t like to be mean on here but she is insufferable!! Leave your poor DH alone!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While there are clearly issues in this relationship, I do not think that it is ever okay for one spouse to scream at another after drinking, threaten self-harm, and then pretend nothing happened. THAT is something that abusers do.

It should be possible for one partner to be frustrated with certain things and express that frustration to their spouse without an angry outburst.

That you guys think this is all OP's fault is pretty terrible.

We know her pattern.

It really is all her fault. What did that guy do to provoke her attack on him? The guy comes home from having a few drinks with friends and, once in the door, she hits him with how they aren't keeping up with their friends? He tries to distance himself from her and she FOLLOWS HIM, still being pathetic? How is any of this his fault?

I feel like she enjoys pushing his buttons and knows just which ones to push and just the right time to push them, then digs in and doesn't back off until she gets the reaction she wants so she can complain about what a mean guy he is to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While there are clearly issues in this relationship, I do not think that it is ever okay for one spouse to scream at another after drinking, threaten self-harm, and then pretend nothing happened. THAT is something that abusers do.

It should be possible for one partner to be frustrated with certain things and express that frustration to their spouse without an angry outburst.

That you guys think this is all OP's fault is pretty terrible.

Okay, OP.