Dead bedroom (DB)?

[Anonymous]

We have 3 kids. Youngest is 2. I prefer sleeping to sex. DH and I take turns putting kids to bed and often fall asleep in kid’s room.

I don’t think DH or I mind the no sex. We probably have sex once a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. Youngest is 2. I prefer sleeping to sex. DH and I take turns putting kids to bed and often fall asleep in kid’s room.

I don’t think DH or I mind the no sex. We probably have sex once a month.

That’s funny I prefer going elsewhere for sex versus my wife who prefers sleeping and does not mind the no sex. We both get what we want though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My situation is not normal, so don’t get paranoid.
We had sex maybe 6 times a year. Have been married 11 years. After therapy, rehab for booze, depression (all on husbands part), he comes out as transgender and is currently transitioning. We still live together for financial reasons, but marriage is over.

Oh, and my ex likes men.

My life is a mess.

Somewhere along the line, you had to have made poor decisions. It’s hard to believe there were NO warning signs of at least some of this before marriage.

Oh, get bent. What do you hope to add with this observation, other than “it won’t happen to me”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My situation is not normal, so don’t get paranoid.
We had sex maybe 6 times a year. Have been married 11 years. After therapy, rehab for booze, depression (all on husbands part), he comes out as transgender and is currently transitioning. We still live together for financial reasons, but marriage is over.

Oh, and my ex likes men.

My life is a mess.

Somewhere along the line, you had to have made poor decisions. It’s hard to believe there were NO warning signs of at least some of this before marriage.

OP here. Of course I deserved it, silly me and my poor decisions.

Are you newly married at 28? People hide a lot and there are not always signs. But good on you for juming IMMEDIATELY towards blaming a victim! What a peach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My situation is not normal, so don’t get paranoid.
We had sex maybe 6 times a year. Have been married 11 years. After therapy, rehab for booze, depression (all on husbands part), he comes out as transgender and is currently transitioning. We still live together for financial reasons, but marriage is over.

Oh, and my ex likes men.

My life is a mess.

Somewhere along the line, you had to have made poor decisions. It’s hard to believe there were NO warning signs of at least some of this before marriage.

Oh, get bent. What do you hope to add with this observation, other than “it won’t happen to me”?

Get bent is basically the best reaction. I'd like to respond to this dude, but hardly seems worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My situation is not normal, so don’t get paranoid.
We had sex maybe 6 times a year. Have been married 11 years. After therapy, rehab for booze, depression (all on husbands part), he comes out as transgender and is currently transitioning. We still live together for financial reasons, but marriage is over.

Oh, and my ex likes men.

My life is a mess.

Hugs. This is all them, not you. I hope you find the silver lining in this cloud. There is always at least one! :<} <3

Hugs, PP. Sorry you’re going through this. Do you have kids with him?

[MikeL]

Anonymous wrote:My situation is not normal, so don’t get paranoid.
We had sex maybe 6 times a year. Have been married 11 years. After therapy, rehab for booze, depression (all on husbands part), he comes out as transgender and is currently transitioning. We still live together for financial reasons, but marriage is over.

Oh, and my ex likes men.

My life is a mess.

PM me and I can help you out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you suffering from a dead bedroom at home?
How long? yes
What do you think the underlying cause is?long term marriage, kids and busy lives, lack of communication, resulting resentment

Curious to hear all perspectives M & F M
Those who are desperate
Those who are the dead
Have you given up?
Those who have considered/acted upon/thinking about acting upon the situation....

Given up no, don’t want to blow up my family. No sex in 18 months. Pornography is poor substitute. We are 50s, married 22 years, 3 kids.

Have definitely considered acting on it. Divorced HS friend very available for FWB situation.

Men need sex to feel loved and validated. So I feel neither.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. Youngest is 2. I prefer sleeping to sex. DH and I take turns putting kids to bed and often fall asleep in kid’s room.

I don’t think DH or I mind the no sex. We probably have sex once a month.

Keep thinking that about your DH at your peril.

[Anonymous]

It was dead for a while when we had two under two. I was just so tired... sometimes the baby was up every 45 minutes at night and took 20 minute naps during the day. The only thing that interested me when I finally made it to bed was SLEEP. Now baby #2 is getting older and the sleep stretches have gotten longer, I am starting to feel human again, and we're slowly resuming things. I'd say we are at once a week.

[Anonymous]

We’ve gone up and down over our 30+ years of marriage with my wife knowing early on that I had also had messed around with men (never once risky at all), but in recent years it’s come to a complete halt. No concrete plans to divorce but it could happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. Youngest is 2. I prefer sleeping to sex. DH and I take turns putting kids to bed and often fall asleep in kid’s room.

I don’t think DH or I mind the no sex. We probably have sex once a month.

That’s funny I prefer going elsewhere for sex versus my wife who prefers sleeping and does not mind the no sex. We both get what we want though.

And then when she finds out and divorces you, you can join Open Marriage Guy in posting bitterly hateful things about women and how all women want is your money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. Youngest is 2. I prefer sleeping to sex. DH and I take turns putting kids to bed and often fall asleep in kid’s room.

I don’t think DH or I mind the no sex. We probably have sex once a month.

That’s funny I prefer going elsewhere for sex versus my wife who prefers sleeping and does not mind the no sex. We both get what we want though.

And then when she finds out and divorces you, you can join Open Marriage Guy in posting bitterly hateful things about women and how all women want is your money.

Why would she care or divorce? I’m not denying her anything she wants. And I don’t hate her. Actually YOU sounds quite bitter !

[Anonymous]

We're around once or twice a month, which I find sort of depressing. I've lost weight over the last few years and am back down to the weight we were when we met. I know that DH is attracted to me, but it rarely leads to sex. I've talked to DH about why he's not that interested, and he says that his libido is just pretty low. (He's on medication for anxiety, which may also be affecting him.) We're only 45, and it depresses me to think that this is as good as it's going to get for us. I love him like crazy, but I wish that our libidos were more evenly matched. I have to initiate at least 90% of the time, and it's demoralizing, particularly when I get turned down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. Youngest is 2. I prefer sleeping to sex. DH and I take turns putting kids to bed and often fall asleep in kid’s room.

I don’t think DH or I mind the no sex. We probably have sex once a month.

That’s funny I prefer going elsewhere for sex versus my wife who prefers sleeping and does not mind the no sex. We both get what we want though.

And then when she finds out and divorces you, you can join Open Marriage Guy in posting bitterly hateful things about women and how all women want is your money.

Why would she care or divorce? I’m not denying her anything she wants. And I don’t hate her. Actually YOU sounds quite bitter !

So this means she knows you're going elsewhere for sex? I'm guessing you're full of it.

Calling you out as a cheater doesn't make me "bitter", dudebro.