Anyone else a bike widow?

[Anonymous]

Maybe this will make him take a break

http://www.mtbtreks.com/bike-riding-increases-the-risk-of-prostate-and-testicular-cancer/

[Anonymous]

Yes, I was. And in the winter, skiing. I hated it because we eventually had no relationship at all, even though I do these sports too. I do not engage in these activities to the detriment or instead of all my other obligations, like my children or my relationships or even basic chores. We are now divorced. I had no idea this was so common. I felt so rejected and hurt by his behavior. The worst incident was when he left me home alone with newborn twins, recovering from a c-section just delirious with sleep deprivation. But hey, no friends (or wife and family) on a powder day, right?! I eventually gave up and left him, and he blames me for the end of our shell of a marriage. Obtuse to the bitter end.

I thought he was unusual but maybe not. He was also on Strava and obsessed with his college racing days. Maybe this is a type A thing....?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MAMIL.

Be glad that he doing something that supports heart health. Track him on an app, and let it go. He could be having a different kind of middle aged crisis.

Your standards are exceedingly low.

And the posters that are responding are divorced, right. Decide which is more important. And stop doing it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband rides like he's training for a marathon. Everything is about the bike. I'm driving 10 hours to help my DD pack up before graduation from college, then driving back. We have a high school kid and one still in college at home. They will be doing the lion's share of the work with the dogs while I'm gone but I've asked my husband to not ride two days out of the six I'm gone because it's a 12 hour day and my kids both have finals/tests to study for and to take, etc. I don't want to put the burden fully on them. The dogs are old and need to go out, etc. He also won't be able to ride Sun and Mon as he'll be at his DD's graduation.

Apparently, this is a huge hardship and he's looking for ways to ride anyway those days. It's insane! Normally I never restrict his ability to ride because it doesn't affect me. The fact that I'm doing all the physical work regarding our DD's moving doesn't seem to even dawn on him - it's all about when he can ride, how long he can ride, etc. It's absolutely maddening! I'm hoping it pours rain on Thursday.

Getting tired of this sh*t.

Some guys pretend to do sports and they hop to their girlfriends. Check where he is going.

[Anonymous]

So they are as douchy as they seem on the streets/trails in their ridiculous spandex.

Lance wannabes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So they are as douchy as they seem on the streets/trails in their ridiculous spandex.

Lance wannabes

Seems to be!

[Anonymous]

The sad part is most of these obsessed people believe they are actually doing their part. I get platitudes like "I would never let X or Y to happen", yet when I ask something simple like can you come home at lunch to let the dog out because I am going out for the day (he's about 20 minutes from the house), it will be "too much traffic" which is code for "I can't ride that day if I do". When we were looking for a house years ago, all homes that did not allow a rideable access to the WO&D was out of the question because "taking your car to a trailhead is just not done by serious riders". Now that we are within 5 years of moving, location will be based on how good/close we are to the bike trails. Everything - EVERYTHING - centers around the bike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband rides like he's training for a marathon. Everything is about the bike. I'm driving 10 hours to help my DD pack up before graduation from college, then driving back. We have a high school kid and one still in college at home. They will be doing the lion's share of the work with the dogs while I'm gone but I've asked my husband to not ride two days out of the six I'm gone because it's a 12 hour day and my kids both have finals/tests to study for and to take, etc. I don't want to put the burden fully on them. The dogs are old and need to go out, etc. He also won't be able to ride Sun and Mon as he'll be at his DD's graduation.

Apparently, this is a huge hardship and he's looking for ways to ride anyway those days. It's insane! Normally I never restrict his ability to ride because it doesn't affect me. The fact that I'm doing all the physical work regarding our DD's moving doesn't seem to even dawn on him - it's all about when he can ride, how long he can ride, etc. It's absolutely maddening! I'm hoping it pours rain on Thursday.

Getting tired of this sh*t.

Some guys pretend to do sports and they hop to their girlfriends. Check where he is going.

At this point it might be a blessing - LOL. I'm THAT frustrated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I was. And in the winter, skiing. I hated it because we eventually had no relationship at all, even though I do these sports too. I do not engage in these activities to the detriment or instead of all my other obligations, like my children or my relationships or even basic chores. We are now divorced. I had no idea this was so common. I felt so rejected and hurt by his behavior. The worst incident was when he left me home alone with newborn twins, recovering from a c-section just delirious with sleep deprivation. But hey, no friends (or wife and family) on a powder day, right?! I eventually gave up and left him, and he blames me for the end of our shell of a marriage. Obtuse to the bitter end.

I thought he was unusual but maybe not. He was also on Strava and obsessed with his college racing days. Maybe this is a type A thing....?

OP here - this is exactly correct. They just don't connect the dots. In their minds, they are reasonable. I was told that it was my 'obsessive-compulsive' desire to ensure the dogs are ok, etc. I explained that when I ask if he not ride his bike to work on X day and he responds with anything but an "I can do that", I know what that means.

I feel for you regarding being left home like that. I can recall days being home sleep-deprived with two young children, while he not only went on a five hour bike ride, but first spent three hours at his brother's house waiting for him to be ready because his brother would say 11:00 am start time but they wouldn't leave until 2.

I can't imagine being abandoned with twins after a c-section for skiing. How awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this will make him take a break

http://www.mtbtreks.com/bike-riding-increases-the-risk-of-prostate-and-testicular-cancer/

Interesting article.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The sad part is most of these obsessed people believe they are actually doing their part. I get platitudes like "I would never let X or Y to happen", yet when I ask something simple like can you come home at lunch to let the dog out because I am going out for the day (he's about 20 minutes from the house), it will be "too much traffic" which is code for "I can't ride that day if I do". When we were looking for a house years ago, all homes that did not allow a rideable access to the WO&D was out of the question because "taking your car to a trailhead is just not done by serious riders". Now that we are within 5 years of moving, location will be based on how good/close we are to the bike trails. Everything - EVERYTHING - centers around the bike.

Oh hell no. Does he ride 8-10 hrs per day on the weekend too like a PP's did? That is a ridiculous hobby if you have kids and a spouse that likes to see you and home obligations. I wouldn't be ok with this either OP in general, but to not even be available for the 2 days you are asking for help is pure selfishness and I would read into that he has checked out of the partnership of marriage

[Anonymous]

You git me heart attack. I thought from the title you husband died while bicycling!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MAMIL.

Be glad that he doing something that supports heart health. Track him on an app, and let it go. He could be having a different kind of middle aged crisis.

Your standards are exceedingly low.

And the posters that are responding are divorced, right. Decide which is more important. And stop doing it all.

Stop doing what, exactly? Caring for an elderly pet who will pee in the house and create more work for OP? Not drive the kid from college? Stress out the kids who have exams so that they risk a lower score?

Why don't you offer to help out OP, then, if you think her spouse is justified in checking out of his family completely?

[Anonymous]

I feel I see a lot of these men on my dating app (after getting divorced, I hope) - they are 40s and older, in really great shape but it always makes me wonder if they live very one-dimensional lives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband rides like he's training for a marathon. Everything is about the bike. I'm driving 10 hours to help my DD pack up before graduation from college, then driving back. We have a high school kid and one still in college at home. They will be doing the lion's share of the work with the dogs while I'm gone but I've asked my husband to not ride two days out of the six I'm gone because it's a 12 hour day and my kids both have finals/tests to study for and to take, etc. I don't want to put the burden fully on them. The dogs are old and need to go out, etc. He also won't be able to ride Sun and Mon as he'll be at his DD's graduation.

Apparently, this is a huge hardship and he's looking for ways to ride anyway those days. It's insane! Normally I never restrict his ability to ride because it doesn't affect me. The fact that I'm doing all the physical work regarding our DD's moving doesn't seem to even dawn on him - it's all about when he can ride, how long he can ride, etc. It's absolutely maddening! I'm hoping it pours rain on Thursday.

Getting tired of this sh*t.

Some guys pretend to do sports and they hop to their girlfriends. Check where he is going.

That's called the John Edwards. "I'm just going for a run."