Rent is Due: Am I being too hard on my daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anxiety or depression or adhd?

[Anonymous]

Let her stay but cut off her internet, require chores and household cleaning to pull her weight. Maybe even add house curfews and wake up times. Make her life there tough and boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$150/month is about 10-15 hours of minimum wage work. If she isn't working that much in a month then something needs to change. Why did she drop out? What was/is her plan? What does she do all day if she isn't working? I don't know if charging minimal rent is effective but something needs to change!

Isn’t min wage $7.25??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$150/month is about 10-15 hours of minimum wage work. If she isn't working that much in a month then something needs to change. Why did she drop out? What was/is her plan? What does she do all day if she isn't working? I don't know if charging minimal rent is effective but something needs to change!

Isn’t min wage $7.25??

In MD it's $10.10. In DC it's $13.25.

[Anonymous]

I agree with pp that she needs to take on more household responsibilities. Have her do all the shopping, laundry, dishes and meal prep until she works full-time.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am 42. I moved out when I was 23, a couple of months after graduating from community college. When I moved out, I was paying $600 in rent per month. When I moved out, I was working full time in an office and part time at a country club, for a total of about 65 hours a week. I had also been going to school at night.

My parents rule was that I had to do SOMETHING that equaled full time. I could go to school full time, or school part time and work part time, or work full time. But I needed to be productive full time. It was a good rule. I saved a lot of money and was productive.

Raise her rent. If she doesn't like it, she can move out.

[Anonymous]

^^ agree. Raise her rent. Starting May 1st. Tell her she’ll need to hustle.

[Anonymous]

You set the rent at $150 and I assume she has paid it. You set the bar very low. If she has enough money to pay her rent, why should she work harder?? It appears your DD has no clue/thoughts about what life costs in the real world. You will have to get involved to teach her. She needs a new game plan, new or additional job, increase rent, increase responsibilities and a move out schedule. Put some demands on her--it will pay off.

[Anonymous]

If she has money for rock climbing and guitar lessons, she has money for the rent.

[Anonymous]

I am the PP. just re read and saw she is trying to get sympathy from you due to her reduced hours. Sorry, sweetie, rock climbing and guitar are WANTS. Hold strong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just began charging my 21 yo daughter rent in January. She pays $150 per month. She works a part-time job and her hours have been unexpectedly cut back for the past few weeks. I have been on her for months about getting a better paying, more stable job, but she has been dragging her feet. She was in college but dropped out during her freshman year, and has been trying to "find" herself ever since. I implemented the rental payments in an effort to nudge her into being more responsible.

I have zero need for the peanuts she pays in rent, however, I feel strongly that a lesson needs to be taught here. In the real world, a landlord would not be interested in a sob story about reduced hours. Am I being too hard or should I stick to this method?

Very important lesson that your daughter knows life isn't "free." We did something similar with our children years ago, except the amount was a bit higher ----more like $400-500/month (room and board) and living with us required they adhere to house rules similar to when they were home from college. None were happy about it at the time, but it kept them from spending everything on frivolous things (they were working in paid internships/entry level jobs) and it prepared them for leaving to live on their own. In fact, we saved the money in an account for them which they got back when they were ready to move out. Each moved on after about one year and had a nest egg of $5000-6000 which helped them get started once they left our home. That said, I don't know if I could ever boot an adult child out but I would certainly require contributions to the household in the form of labor if they were unemployed. Fortunately, in our case, it was more of a "soft landing" for a year after college. Today they are all fully "launched."

[Anonymous]

Not being hard enough in my opinion! So at least stay this course.

[Anonymous]

I'd raise rent and insist she get a more stable job or another job. Offer to lower it back (or discard it) if she starts taking classes at the community college and gets Bs or higher.

She needs to finish college.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to hold strong. It's a VERY good lesson for her, actually many lessons and not just about paying rent but also responsibility.

I paid my mom rent as soon as I was working, with out her asking, purchased groceries and always helped around the house (since I was young). I did this while working FT and going to college FT too.

[Anonymous]

OP do you have a college degree? I cannot fathom letting my children drop of out of college.