A lot of nannies suck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I am guilty of using my phone when my charges play. Because I work 13-hour days and my only break is when the kids are happily absorbed in a safe and confined area. That’s why we go to those places. I am supervising, but I’ve been doing this for over a decade. I don’t need to stare at them every second they are awake in order to keep them safe. If we are doing other activities (going on a hike, touring a museum, creating art, swimming, etc. etc.) then I am on and engaged the whole time. That is fun too but I can’t sustain it for 65 hours a week. And believe it or not I AM often doing kid-relatwd things. I volunteer at their school and need to email and text committee members, I order all their clothes, I order groceries every week and make all of their meals so I need to meal plan and use the instacart app and so on. Many nannies take on everything a SAH parent does but our standards are often higher since we are professionals. My charges eat home-cooked meals and only use screens when they are ill.

This is super false. I SAH. I use my time at home to pay bills, budget and invest, make arrangements when something in the house needs to be fixed (or fix it myself), do yard work, make kids doctors appointments (and go to them), refill prescriptions, pick up dry cleaning, shop for all the kids clothes and shoes and sports equipment, make plans for the family on the weekend, plan vacations, etc, as well as of course doing all the laundry, meal planning, cooking, and grocery shopping.

Most nannies do not do all of these things. And frankly being a SAHM is far more interesting and engaging than being a nanny (which seems like drudgery) because I am 100% in control of how we spend our time, and I have many projects I can work on as well, often with the kids (organizing parts of the garage, arranging to have our patio redone and picking new furniture for it, gardening, etc).

[Anonymous]

Do you think $18/hour is a lot?

[Anonymous]

OP, that was a nice favor you did. Do you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I am guilty of using my phone when my charges play. Because I work 13-hour days and my only break is when the kids are happily absorbed in a safe and confined area. That’s why we go to those places. I am supervising, but I’ve been doing this for over a decade. I don’t need to stare at them every second they are awake in order to keep them safe. If we are doing other activities (going on a hike, touring a museum, creating art, swimming, etc. etc.) then I am on and engaged the whole time. That is fun too but I can’t sustain it for 65 hours a week. And believe it or not I AM often doing kid-relatwd things. I volunteer at their school and need to email and text committee members, I order all their clothes, I order groceries every week and make all of their meals so I need to meal plan and use the instacart app and so on. Many nannies take on everything a SAH parent does but our standards are often higher since we are professionals. My charges eat home-cooked meals and only use screens when they are ill.

This is super false. I SAH. I use my time at home to pay bills, budget and invest, make arrangements when something in the house needs to be fixed (or fix it myself), do yard work, make kids doctors appointments (and go to them), refill prescriptions, pick up dry cleaning, shop for all the kids clothes and shoes and sports equipment, make plans for the family on the weekend, plan vacations, etc, as well as of course doing all the laundry, meal planning, cooking, and grocery shopping.

Most nannies do not do all of these things. And frankly being a SAHM is far more interesting and engaging than being a nanny (which seems like drudgery) because I am 100% in control of how we spend our time, and I have many projects I can work on as well, often with the kids (organizing parts of the garage, arranging to have our patio redone and picking new furniture for it, gardening, etc).

I’m pretty sure PP meant taking on everything a SAH parent does...related to childcare. With the examples she actually gave: buying and preparing all kid meals, shopping for their clothes, planning their day activities, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Enjoyed reading all the responses.

The nannies I see at these play areas usually have kids 3 and under. Kids this age usually need a little more supervision since they tend to parallel play more than play with each other. It's really sad because I see the kids coming up to their nannies to play and the nanny just brushes them off and tells them to play by themselves.

I'm not a career nanny or a mom but I do nanny during my breaks from school for other families. I'm also getting my doctorate in child psychology so I'm not an expert but I know a thing or two about kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Enjoyed reading all the responses.

The nannies I see at these play areas usually have kids 3 and under. Kids this age usually need a little more supervision since they tend to parallel play more than play with each other. It's really sad because I see the kids coming up to their nannies to play and the nanny just brushes them off and tells them to play by themselves.

I'm not a career nanny or a mom but I do nanny during my breaks from school for other families. I'm also getting my doctorate in child psychology so I'm not an expert but I know a thing or two about kids.

OP, I hope you save this post so you can come back and laugh at it when you have kids of your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister asked me to watch her daughter (my niece) during my winter break from school because her nanny was taking a 2 week vacation.
I took her to gym classes, indoor playground, libraries, etc during that time and noticed a lot of nannies suck.
They just sit there on their phones chatting/texting/instagramming away while the kids just hung out by themselves. Every once in awhile the nannies would look up to take a picture and text the mom/dad boss I'm guessing. It's just sad because I know these parents are paying their nannies ALOT of money. Just a vent, it sucks.

You know nothing...

You don’t actually know if they were nannies or parents.

You don’t know what they are being paid, if they are nannies.

You watched a child during your winter break. You have no idea what actual full time childcare is like and the exhaustion it puts on someone.

You are a typical arrogant student. Get off your high horse and come back when you actually experience life and children longer than 2 weeks.

Allll of this.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm with you. I've never even seen a salesperson on the phone as much as nannies are.
chit-chatting away mostly in their own language. I thought they have large extended family or a lot of people who are unemployed somewhere and nothing else to do but do have a phone and internet access to connect to cousin in US.
I'm a foreigner myself but I don't have friends or family who has time to talk to me for more than 5-10 minutes.
You all can talk about moms doing it too or the nanny shopping for the kid, whatever. I'm sticking to my story- long loud chats with whoever in their native language. Even if you are at the park without kids, who needs to chit-chat hours at the time and as loudly as the do?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm with you. I've never even seen a salesperson on the phone as much as nannies are.
chit-chatting away mostly in their own language. I thought they have large extended family or a lot of people who are unemployed somewhere and nothing else to do but do have a phone and internet access to connect to cousin in US.
I'm a foreigner myself but I don't have friends or family who has time to talk to me for more than 5-10 minutes.
You all can talk about moms doing it too or the nanny shopping for the kid, whatever. I'm sticking to my story- long loud chats with whoever in their native language. Even if you are at the park without kids, who needs to chit-chat hours at the time and as loudly as the do?!

If you're a foreigner, you'd also recognize that when your family is across the world, there's a time difference, so likely rather than unemployed, those family members are talking to the nanny after dinner their time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Enjoyed reading all the responses.

The nannies I see at these play areas usually have kids 3 and under. Kids this age usually need a little more supervision since they tend to parallel play more than play with each other. It's really sad because I see the kids coming up to their nannies to play and the nanny just brushes them off and tells them to play by themselves.

I'm not a career nanny or a mom but I do nanny during my breaks from school for other families. I'm also getting my doctorate in child psychology so I'm not an expert but I know a thing or two about kids.

OP, I hope you save this post so you can come back and laugh at it when you have kids of your own.

OP here. I don't see why I would come back and laugh at this post when I have my own kids. I know kids are hard but a job is a job. You shouldn't be on your phone 2-3 hours a day and ignoring the kids. Like a previous poster said, most of the nannies I've seen are chatting away on their phones for hours in their native language. I'm not even talking about SAH moms. I feel like it's even harder for them since they manage the household plus watch the kids so I get it if they're on their phones for a bit. The SAH moms I've seen don't ignore their kids though if their child wants them to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister asked me to watch her daughter (my niece) during my winter break from school because her nanny was taking a 2 week vacation.
I took her to gym classes, indoor playground, libraries, etc during that time and noticed a lot of nannies suck.
They just sit there on their phones chatting/texting/instagramming away while the kids just hung out by themselves. Every once in awhile the nannies would look up to take a picture and text the mom/dad boss I'm guessing. It's just sad because I know these parents are paying their nannies ALOT of money. Just a vent, it sucks.

You know nothing...

You don’t actually know if they were nannies or parents.

You don’t know what they are being paid, if they are nannies.

You watched a child during your winter break. You have no idea what actual full time childcare is like and the exhaustion it puts on someone.

You are a typical arrogant student. Get off your high horse and come back when you actually experience life and children longer than 2 weeks.

Allll of this.

Sorry but 95% of the time you can tell whether it’s a nanny or parent.

[Anonymous]

A lot of employees suck. Instead of staring at their computer and typing away or paying rapt attention and contributing valuable input in every meeting they are off grabbing coffee, chatting with coworkers or writing personal emails. I can’t believe they aren’t “on” 100% of every minute of every day! Their employers are paying them a lot!

I joke a bit because my preschool aged kids play independently or with each other for long stretches of time. If we’ve been playing together at home for a while, we might head out to a playground or library and the kids want to wander off and do their own thing for a bit or engage with other kids. I know some kids their ages whose parents tell me the kids want constant adult interaction in the form of reading books or engaging in pretend play. If you have a kid like that who craves and needs a lot of adult attention, it is hard to believe that some kids want their own space to explore and play while someone watches to make sure they are safe. I have stood at a fenced in playground drinking coffee and chatting with my husband for 20 minutes and my 2yr old never looked up once to see where we were. Sometimes my 4yr old will come ask me to watch a new trick. I do engage with my kids, but often at home where we’re doing an art project, playing trains or building something. I imagine many of these nannies do the same as well as sit and eat meals and snacks together. The time out at the play space / library/ park is down time for the caregiver but you judge them because that’s the only part of the day you see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you're paying crappy wages to some immigrant who barely speaks English to watch your kid, and you expect her to care as much about your kid as you do?

Good luck with that.

45K/yr is crappy?

Well double this is below the poverty level for a family of 4 in Arlington, so yeah, I’d say it’s crappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister asked me to watch her daughter (my niece) during my winter break from school because her nanny was taking a 2 week vacation.
I took her to gym classes, indoor playground, libraries, etc during that time and noticed a lot of nannies suck.
They just sit there on their phones chatting/texting/instagramming away while the kids just hung out by themselves. Every once in awhile the nannies would look up to take a picture and text the mom/dad boss I'm guessing. It's just sad because I know these parents are paying their nannies ALOT of money. Just a vent, it sucks.

You know nothing...

You don’t actually know if they were nannies or parents.

You don’t know what they are being paid, if they are nannies.

You watched a child during your winter break. You have no idea what actual full time childcare is like and the exhaustion it puts on someone.

You are a typical arrogant student. Get off your high horse and come back when you actually experience life and children longer than 2 weeks.

Allll of this.

Sorry but 95% of the time you can tell whether it’s a nanny or parent.

Why? Bc they don’t match what you think a typical family should look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Enjoyed reading all the responses.

The nannies I see at these play areas usually have kids 3 and under. Kids this age usually need a little more supervision since they tend to parallel play more than play with each other. It's really sad because I see the kids coming up to their nannies to play and the nanny just brushes them off and tells them to play by themselves.

I'm not a career nanny or a mom but I do nanny during my breaks from school for other families. I'm also getting my doctorate in child psychology so I'm not an expert but I know a thing or two about kids.

OP, I hope you save this post so you can come back and laugh at it when you have kids of your own.

OP here. I don't see why I would come back and laugh at this post when I have my own kids. I know kids are hard but a job is a job. You shouldn't be on your phone 2-3 hours a day and ignoring the kids. Like a previous poster said, most of the nannies I've seen are chatting away on their phones for hours in their native language. I'm not even talking about SAH moms. I feel like it's even harder for them since they manage the household plus watch the kids so I get it if they're on their phones for a bit. The SAH moms I've seen don't ignore their kids though if their child wants them to play.

If you’re giving a pass to SAH moms then I’m giving a pass to nannies. I’ve seen terrible parents out and about with their kids. I’ve seen them allow their children to hit and push others, take toys from others, throw tantrums, and allow their child to hit and yell at them. I’ve seen parents not pay attention to their child but instead talk with their friends all the while their children are terrorizing the play area.