Let 30-something "road warrior" / "up in the air" BIL live in our house few days at a time?

[Anonymous]

Charge him your Air B&B rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many days a month are you talking?

Maybe you could have a Scott Pruitt type situation - he pays thirty bucks a night or something?

LOL so random

[Anonymous]

I absolutely adore my BIL and think this arrangement could be super cool for my kids to know their uncle better plus to have a closer relationship with him. But that’s a personal question, how much you like him. Is he a good cook?

[Anonymous]

Since he is a good house guest, and gainfully employed, I would do it. I've had relatives that worked overseas who would stay with me when they were in DC for extended periods. I always enjoyed it, and it was a great way to reconnect with family. My family hasn't always been super close, but we've always been there for each other in circumstances such as these. I also have friends who are self-employed consultants who stay with me when they're in town on business. We have a large house, and it's silly for them to waste money on hotels when we'd want to go to dinner and enjoy catching up with them anyway.

[Anonymous]

I think he is lonely. His job is soul sucking. It is exhausting to be on the road all the time. He craves normalcy.

[Anonymous]

We did something like this a few times and a few things to consider:
1. What is the exit plan? Our guest overstayed and it became uncomfortable. Talk about expectations if you were to have other guests visiting. We were no longer able to have in-laws visit and it strained the relationship a bit.

2. We were allowing my BIL and SIL to stay in a condo we had rent free until they got settled. My SIL decided not to work and stay home with her toddler. It created a strained relationship as I was working and had my child in daycare - and indirectly paying for her to stay home.

3. If you ask for "rent" it changes dynamics of the relationship. Just be clear around any financial expectations. Some visitors get it - some don't. My cousin staying with us for about 6 months. She went shopping and filled up the refrig with special food for a party she was going to. I had no space to put my groceries as she had trays of items she prepared.

4. I had crashed with family in a similar case as your BIL for about 6 months as I moved to a new city and was traveling for work and not yet found my own place. I made a contribution to my nieces/ nephews 529s. It was not exactly what I would have paid in rent - but enough to say thank you as I knew they were going out of their way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lonely. His job is soul sucking. It is exhausting to be on the road all the time. He craves normalcy.

Possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did something like this a few times and a few things to consider:
1. What is the exit plan? Our guest overstayed and it became uncomfortable. Talk about expectations if you were to have other guests visiting. We were no longer able to have in-laws visit and it strained the relationship a bit.

2. We were allowing my BIL and SIL to stay in a condo we had rent free until they got settled. My SIL decided not to work and stay home with her toddler. It created a strained relationship as I was working and had my child in daycare - and indirectly paying for her to stay home.

3. If you ask for "rent" it changes dynamics of the relationship. Just be clear around any financial expectations. Some visitors get it - some don't. My cousin staying with us for about 6 months. She went shopping and filled up the refrig with special food for a party she was going to. I had no space to put my groceries as she had trays of items she prepared.

4. I had crashed with family in a similar case as your BIL for about 6 months as I moved to a new city and was traveling for work and not yet found my own place. I made a contribution to my nieces/ nephews 529s. It was not exactly what I would have paid in rent - but enough to say thank you as I knew they were going out of their way.

Uh yea, I would have had an issue with that at well. Rent would have been charged at that point.

[Anonymous]

I travel Sunday night through Friday evening as do many of my coworkers. For the most part, we have apartments we return to, but there are some people who have this crazy lifestyle situation where they basically maintain suitcases and storage units around the country that they rotate between. Usually they are young people who are looking to make and save money. I pay 30k a year in rent to sleep in my own apartment approximately 6 nights a month, sometimes less. I get it! If I were in your position, it would entirely depend on how gracious of a guest he is and how much I like him. He sounds pretty low key, so if he can wash the bedsheets, keep the place tidy, and is a cool uncle to your kids (obviously good relationship with you and your spouse) I'd at least try it out. The setup sounds there for this working out and the risk is low.

(He should also float you smething...not sure really about getting into split utilities if he isn't there more than 1-2 nights at a time, but should pay for some groceries, cook occasionally, bring toys for kids, help out as a member ofthe household when there.

[Anonymous]

The main question is would YOU mind? Only you know how comfortable this arrangement would be.

[Anonymous]

Yes he is mooching, but it would be awesome if you to do this. I slept in my apartment 6-7 nights a month for most of my 20s and early 30s. Three times I “lived” in my corporate apartment for almost a year and didn’t have a 2nd home, just my parents address and a PO Box.

If you do this, I would ask that he get a storage unit for his “stuff” and use your place like a hotel / guest room. If he wants to leave stuff (more than a drawer of clothes and a bin of toiletries that can be stored in a cabinet, I’d charge him a modest “rent”.

[Anonymous]

The obvious question. Is how long does he want this arrangement to last? Forever or 12 months? I would want a time frame to discuss and reevaluate. Also, will he alert you to the days/times arriving? You could hear activity in your basement at midnight and think it's an intruder and call 911.

[Anonymous]

Sure, it it bothers him, ask for a small stipend per night. If he's making $150k!

[Anonymous]

Would this prevent you for having other guests, assuming you get visitors? If so, I’d make sure to discuss that in advance and agree that he goes to a hotel or elsewhere if you need the ability to host guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes he is mooching, but it would be awesome if you to do this. I slept in my apartment 6-7 nights a month for most of my 20s and early 30s. Three times I “lived” in my corporate apartment for almost a year and didn’t have a 2nd home, just my parents address and a PO Box.

If you do this, I would ask that he get a storage unit for his “stuff” and use your place like a hotel / guest room. If he wants to leave stuff (more than a drawer of clothes and a bin of toiletries that can be stored in a cabinet, I’d charge him a modest “rent”.

What job has you on the road 25 out of 31 days per month for over a decade no less?