Let 30-something "road warrior" / "up in the air" BIL live in our house few days at a time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes he is mooching, but it would be awesome if you to do this. I slept in my apartment 6-7 nights a month for most of my 20s and early 30s. Three times I “lived” in my corporate apartment for almost a year and didn’t have a 2nd home, just my parents address and a PO Box.

If you do this, I would ask that he get a storage unit for his “stuff” and use your place like a hotel / guest room. If he wants to leave stuff (more than a drawer of clothes and a bin of toiletries that can be stored in a cabinet, I’d charge him a modest “rent”.

What job has you on the road 25 out of 31 days per month for over a decade no less?

I am not this poster - but as a management consultant in the 90s, I would fly out early Monday morning and back Friday.
I would use the benefit of in-lieu of travel to go someplace else usually 1 weekend a month - and every long holiday / vacation.

[Anonymous]

We had a somewhat similar situation with a friend of DH who had to take a new job in DC immediately and needed a place to crash “for two weeks” while he found an apartment. Promises were made that it would be very short because he left his wife and kids back in another state and they were waiting for the new apartment to join him.

Two weeks turned into 4 months. He did not give any financial contribution. He ate our food whenever he was here, for breakfast and every dinner. I couldn’t have other guests because he was in the only guest quarters. Like a PP mentioned it became very uncomfortable, he was too comfortable just living here rent free, eating all our food, using all our utilities, etc.

We had to kick him out, it was awful. We told him we were going on vacation and when we came back he needed to be moved out because my parents were coming for an extended stay. Otherwise I think he still would be here.

Have an exit strategy. You probably shouldn’t allow BIL to do this in perpetuity, because if he is super frugal he probably will want to even if it doesn’t seem logical to you.

[Anonymous]

Op, you don't know why he "got rid of his condo" and you "guess his belongings are in storage". This is all odd. I'd be worried he's mentally ill, even if you haven't seen signs of it before. That, or he's in legal or job trouble. He doesn't have to own a house, but healthy adults have a place that is theirs... and this can be a studio apartment. I wouldn't allow this, something isn't right here, and it's very easy to let someone "stay with you" It's much much harder to get them out.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't care in the situation you describe. If the person was a habitual moocher or something then no. At the end of the day this is what family is for, to be helpful in ways they can be. Especially if it isn't an imposition.

[Anonymous]

I guess my situation is slightly different but my twin sister lives in Chicago and is in town one week a month visiting clients (she works in marketing for fashion so her hours are not always 9-5, depending on events and client needs). When she is in town, she absolutely stays with us. She gets to pocket the per-diem and it’s easy enough for us to pick up more at the grocery store to account for the extra person staying over. She (voluntarily) will either take us to dinner or make dinner one night as a thank you (we don’t expect it at all). It’s great for her because she can do laundry and has that feeling of home (she’s literally on the road and living out of the suitcase all the time) and we use it to our advantage - if we know she’s working at our house during the day and meeting with a client for dinner that night, we’ll make her grab our dry cleaning or be there when the cable guy comes. Her and my husband are also on good terms and she is a neat freak (we came home last month and she was organizing my closet for fun) so he puts up with it since he knows she’s a good house guest (it also cuts down on my flying to Chicago to see her, so good for our finances!)

[Anonymous]

We did this for a friend when he was in business school. His summer gig was with a consulting firm. In the end he spent about 5 night at our house over 2.5 months. It was so minimal we were happy to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes he is mooching, but it would be awesome if you to do this. I slept in my apartment 6-7 nights a month for most of my 20s and early 30s. Three times I “lived” in my corporate apartment for almost a year and didn’t have a 2nd home, just my parents address and a PO Box.

If you do this, I would ask that he get a storage unit for his “stuff” and use your place like a hotel / guest room. If he wants to leave stuff (more than a drawer of clothes and a bin of toiletries that can be stored in a cabinet, I’d charge him a modest “rent”.

What job has you on the road 25 out of 31 days per month for over a decade no less?

IT consulting - Accenture, Deloitte, IBM, Booz. Fly out Sunday night or Monday morning, fly home Thursday or Friday afternoon. Some weekends fly somewhere fun with your friends who all do the same thing and have more per diem money, hotel points and FF miles than they know what to do with.

[Anonymous]

What about if he brings women over? One night stands or wants to have his friends over? What if they are loud and your kids can't sleep? It sounds fine in theory, but I wonder about it in the long run. How many days per month is her here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lonely. His job is soul sucking. It is exhausting to be on the road all the time. He craves normalcy.

Possible.

Probable. I have a job like this and it can be lonely. Just agree on some ground rules and it’s a cool experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I travel Sunday night through Friday evening as do many of my coworkers. For the most part, we have apartments we return to, but there are some people who have this crazy lifestyle situation where they basically maintain suitcases and storage units around the country that they rotate between. Usually they are young people who are looking to make and save money. I pay 30k a year in rent to sleep in my own apartment approximately 6 nights a month, sometimes less. I get it! If I were in your position, it would entirely depend on how gracious of a guest he is and how much I like him. He sounds pretty low key, so if he can wash the bedsheets, keep the place tidy, and is a cool uncle to your kids (obviously good relationship with you and your spouse) I'd at least try it out. The setup sounds there for this working out and the risk is low.

(He should also float you smething...not sure really about getting into split utilities if he isn't there more than 1-2 nights at a time, but should pay for some groceries, cook occasionally, bring toys for kids, help out as a member ofthe household when there.

do you know what they do for taxes when they have no residence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The main question is would YOU mind? Only you know how comfortable this arrangement would be.

+1 Your husband is happy with it, and it sounds like BIL is a good guest. But you clearly have reservations or you wouldn't be crowd sourcing this decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes he is mooching, but it would be awesome if you to do this. I slept in my apartment 6-7 nights a month for most of my 20s and early 30s. Three times I “lived” in my corporate apartment for almost a year and didn’t have a 2nd home, just my parents address and a PO Box.

If you do this, I would ask that he get a storage unit for his “stuff” and use your place like a hotel / guest room. If he wants to leave stuff (more than a drawer of clothes and a bin of toiletries that can be stored in a cabinet, I’d charge him a modest “rent”.

What job has you on the road 25 out of 31 days per month for over a decade no less?

IT consulting - Accenture, Deloitte, IBM, Booz. Fly out Sunday night or Monday morning, fly home Thursday or Friday afternoon. Some weekends fly somewhere fun with your friends who all do the same thing and have more per diem money, hotel points and FF miles than they know what to do with.

I'm one of the PP's with this. It's consulting, not necessarily IT (financial services for me). I've been doing Sunday night to Saturday evening (6 day workweeks, woohoo!/, returning only to see my partner and maybe meet a friend for lunch, do my laundry, and unpack/repack. This won't be forever, but man, if I were a bit younger and didn't want to have somewhere to land I would REALLY appreciate a set up like OP could provide. I pay downtown DC rent and it's pretty obscene when you have this schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes he is mooching, but it would be awesome if you to do this. I slept in my apartment 6-7 nights a month for most of my 20s and early 30s. Three times I “lived” in my corporate apartment for almost a year and didn’t have a 2nd home, just my parents address and a PO Box.

If you do this, I would ask that he get a storage unit for his “stuff” and use your place like a hotel / guest room. If he wants to leave stuff (more than a drawer of clothes and a bin of toiletries that can be stored in a cabinet, I’d charge him a modest “rent”.

What job has you on the road 25 out of 31 days per month for over a decade no less?

IT consulting - Accenture, Deloitte, IBM, Booz. Fly out Sunday night or Monday morning, fly home Thursday or Friday afternoon. Some weekends fly somewhere fun with your friends who all do the same thing and have more per diem money, hotel points and FF miles than they know what to do with.

I'm one of the PP's with this. It's consulting, not necessarily IT (financial services for me). I've been doing Sunday night to Saturday evening (6 day workweeks, woohoo!/, returning only to see my partner and maybe meet a friend for lunch, do my laundry, and unpack/repack. This won't be forever, but man, if I were a bit younger and didn't want to have somewhere to land I would REALLY appreciate a set up like OP could provide. I pay downtown DC rent and it's pretty obscene when you have this schedule.

Yeah, if you're around so infrequently you should move to Gaithersburg or something. Your stuff doesn't care if it has a fancy DC location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I travel Sunday night through Friday evening as do many of my coworkers. For the most part, we have apartments we return to, but there are some people who have this crazy lifestyle situation where they basically maintain suitcases and storage units around the country that they rotate between. Usually they are young people who are looking to make and save money. I pay 30k a year in rent to sleep in my own apartment approximately 6 nights a month, sometimes less. I get it! If I were in your position, it would entirely depend on how gracious of a guest he is and how much I like him. He sounds pretty low key, so if he can wash the bedsheets, keep the place tidy, and is a cool uncle to your kids (obviously good relationship with you and your spouse) I'd at least try it out. The setup sounds there for this working out and the risk is low.

(He should also float you smething...not sure really about getting into split utilities if he isn't there more than 1-2 nights at a time, but should pay for some groceries, cook occasionally, bring toys for kids, help out as a member ofthe household when there.

do you know what they do for taxes when they have no residence?

I think you have to declare a permanent address, regardless. I believe they mostly use the address of their parents or a good friend for that. Whatever state their driver's license and voting registration is in/wherever the main storage container is in. Then we all track our hours and the locations we billed them in and pay taxes in any of the states in which we worked that year. Probably only over a certain number of hours/days? Not totally clear on that. I had 5 states last year including my primary residence of DC and no, I definitely don't do my own taxes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes he is mooching, but it would be awesome if you to do this. I slept in my apartment 6-7 nights a month for most of my 20s and early 30s. Three times I “lived” in my corporate apartment for almost a year and didn’t have a 2nd home, just my parents address and a PO Box.

If you do this, I would ask that he get a storage unit for his “stuff” and use your place like a hotel / guest room. If he wants to leave stuff (more than a drawer of clothes and a bin of toiletries that can be stored in a cabinet, I’d charge him a modest “rent”.

What job has you on the road 25 out of 31 days per month for over a decade no less?

IT consulting - Accenture, Deloitte, IBM, Booz. Fly out Sunday night or Monday morning, fly home Thursday or Friday afternoon. Some weekends fly somewhere fun with your friends who all do the same thing and have more per diem money, hotel points and FF miles than they know what to do with.

I'm one of the PP's with this. It's consulting, not necessarily IT (financial services for me). I've been doing Sunday night to Saturday evening (6 day workweeks, woohoo!/, returning only to see my partner and maybe meet a friend for lunch, do my laundry, and unpack/repack. This won't be forever, but man, if I were a bit younger and didn't want to have somewhere to land I would REALLY appreciate a set up like OP could provide. I pay downtown DC rent and it's pretty obscene when you have this schedule.

Yeah, if you're around so infrequently you should move to Gaithersburg or something. Your stuff doesn't care if it has a fancy DC location.

I think it's actually the opposite. I'm around so infrequently right now I don't want to have to buy a car and wouldn't want to have everything I need scattered through a burb. I like that I can accomplish all of my tasks (pharmacy, dry cleaning, shoe repair, tons of restaurants, grocery store, etc.) without leaving a 2 block radius. Plus all of my friends live downtown and if I want a shot in hell of seeing them, I need to be able to zip around the city quickly to make the most of my time. I like that I am accessible to Union Station and also Reagan. Downtown makes sense trying to make the most of my time with a lot of time away.