Tell Me I'm Shallow

[Anonymous]

It’s true that he can’t change being short, but you could possibly change being shallow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been divorced for 2 years now and have just recently - like in the last two months- started 'dating' again.

I've met a few nice guys but no one that made my heart skip until NYE. He was at a neighborhood party as a friend of one of my other neighbors. He's 40, not bald, pretty cute, director at some non profit, has hobbies (running, cooking, sailing) but... he's short. He's probably 5'6" or 5' 7". I'm 5'5" for the record. We are probably equal in terms of attractiveness. He texted yesterday to see about grabbing coffee and walking around Roosevelt Island this Sunday.

I'm not sure I can do it. If he were 4 inches taller I'd do it in a second ...but I just can't be with a short guy. My sister says I'm crazy but my gfs say it's totally reasonable.

I can't be alone in this, right?

Are your gf's single too?
Think about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been divorced for 2 years now and have just recently - like in the last two months- started 'dating' again.

I've met a few nice guys but no one that made my heart skip until NYE. He was at a neighborhood party as a friend of one of my other neighbors. He's 40, not bald, pretty cute, director at some non profit, has hobbies (running, cooking, sailing) but... he's short. He's probably 5'6" or 5' 7". I'm 5'5" for the record. We are probably equal in terms of attractiveness. He texted yesterday to see about grabbing coffee and walking around Roosevelt Island this Sunday.

I'm not sure I can do it. If he were 4 inches taller I'd do it in a second ...but I just can't be with a short guy. My sister says I'm crazy but my gfs say it's totally reasonable.

I can't be alone in this, right?

He made your heart skip a beat? Why not explore that? Don't you enjoy the feeling?

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Could you not be attracted to him or is it a social thing (like you’d be embarrassed)?

[Anonymous]

If you're going to not consider guys you give you butterflies for this reason alone, you will never find someone.

Give it a chance of a first or second date and then if you he doesn't have other qualities that make you no longer see his height, then you can think of his height as a dealbreaker.

[Anonymous]

Shorter guys are bigger down below. Fact.

[Anonymous]

He's already making your heart skip. What do you have to lose other than your self respect?

[Anonymous]

I'm 6'5" and never have this problem.

[Anonymous]

Wanting to be attracted to the person you date is not shallow. It's a new year and we need to leave date shaming behind.

That said, you said he made your heart skip a beat so you are attracted to him.

Which leads me to believe this is about something else. It's not what others would say it's not a significant enough height difference to be noticeable that you would worry about social norms. If this were the case I'd tell you to gain some maturity.

I think you are afraid of your feelings and reaction to him. You fear falling hard for him and what happens if things don't work out. The only way out is through the fire. Jump in op it's a brand new year, enjoy yourself. Allow yourself to be excited by a man. Don't find reasons to deny yourself potential happiness out of fear of being hurt again.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are very close to the same height - i.e. who is taller depends on posture. The worst mistake I nearly made was not dating him because of height.

[Anonymous]

If it bothers you, it bothers you. One of my good friend's husbands is really fat, like beyond morbidly obese. I don't understand how she could be attracted to him at all, but she is and they have a great marriage. So, it would bother me, but it doesn't bother her. My ex was short and I hated it, but it turns out I also hated other things about him. If you like the guy enough it may not bother you. If it bothers you, then acknowledge that and find someone else.

[Anonymous]

I actually prefer shorter men. I'm 5'2" and felt silly dating guys a foot taller than me. And I have dated very short men, including someone my height--in that situation I did think that if we had kids they would be miniatures.

you are obviously attracted to this guy, so your hesitation is shallow, or rather, about some other standard you think you should have, but in point of fact is kind of silly and imposed from the outside. And, good guys are hard to come by.

[Anonymous]

I also prefer shorter men. DH is barely 5' 9". I couldn't have gone much taller. When I dated taller guys in the past, I somehow didn't feel like their equal.

Anyway, you'd be crazy if you didn't at least try with this guy. One date is not a life long commitment.

[Anonymous]

Don't date him.

I'm only 5'9. It drove my first post-college GF crazy that I wasn't taller. She was 5'5" and admitted than me being short and thin made her feel too big.

We both wasted each other's time in hindsight. I married a woman who is right for me and she is happy now also.