Huge age differences in marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:.5x + 7

with x>18 I hope

[Anonymous]

Why is it even your business, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not necessarily "suspicious"...but often problematic and unhappy in the long run. When you're both still in the 30-55 range, it can be fine and you don't feel the difference so much. But when the older one gets older, a lot of issues begin to arise and the younger one is generally unhappy

This is what happened to my sister. She married a man about 20 years older than her and a year into their marriage he developed early onset Parkinsons. It isn't just the shakes--he has full blown dementia and she is a caregiver and miserable. She never had kids and is sad for her future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We have an 18 year gap.

Suspicious of what, exactly?

Please, OP, entertain us further and pinpoint exactly what your ridiculous thoughts are on this matter.

Not, op, but I’d guess she means that the marriage isn’t based on the traditional foundations but rather on money.

Curious, pp, did either you or your spouses financial or professional position shift as a result of your marriage?

[Anonymous]

One of my friends married a guy 17 years older when we were in our early 20s. He was estranged from his older, wealthy parents and was back in school to be a social worker and she Admittedly, I’m a jerk to speculate, but I always wonderd if she was hoping there would be reconciliation and the inheritance that would go with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is a 30 year age gap and a new baby weird? If the man owns a big house and the woman never really got on her feet, but has kids from other relationships? Asking for a friend.

Picture Trump and his wife. Yes, it's weird, and I'm her age. The thought of being with a 70+ year old is gross.

[Anonymous]

My parents are 19 years apart, married at 51 & 32, now are 94 and 75. My dad comes with a family history of longevity (his dad died at 102) but has been dealt some health blows in his life, starting with a heart attack at 67 (I was 9).

It was my dad’s second marriage and my mom’s first. He had children from his first marriage who weren’t much younger than my mom. There was no infidelity involved.

The hardest thing is that up until my grandmother died 5 years ago at 96, my mom was caring for her for @2 years. And then a year or so after my grandmother died my dad started feeling uncomfortable with being home alone for long periods, meaning my mom can’t easily travel. I’m their only child and live across the country. It’s hard for my mom to feel that she can’t visit her grandchildren as much as she’d like.

My dad is in excellent health considering his heart history, and is mentally 100% fine, and just renewed his driver license. He just doesn’t want to stay home alone for a week or so while my mom travels. Fortunately a couple of his kids from his first marriage come to stay with him while she visits once a year or so, but I know she’d like to be able to travel more.

[Anonymous]

8 yr difference between myself and DH
8 yr difference between my parents
8 yr difference between my grandparents

We obviously go for older men. Although I don’t consider 8 years a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents are 19 years apart, married at 51 & 32, now are 94 and 75. My dad comes with a family history of longevity (his dad died at 102) but has been dealt some health blows in his life, starting with a heart attack at 67 (I was 9).

It was my dad’s second marriage and my mom’s first. He had children from his first marriage who weren’t much younger than my mom. There was no infidelity involved.

The hardest thing is that up until my grandmother died 5 years ago at 96, my mom was caring for her for @2 years. And then a year or so after my grandmother died my dad started feeling uncomfortable with being home alone for long periods, meaning my mom can’t easily travel. I’m their only child and live across the country. It’s hard for my mom to feel that she can’t visit her grandchildren as much as she’d like.

My dad is in excellent health considering his heart history, and is mentally 100% fine, and just renewed his driver license. He just doesn’t want to stay home alone for a week or so while my mom travels. Fortunately a couple of his kids from his first marriage come to stay with him while she visits once a year or so, but I know she’d like to be able to travel more.

I posted earlier about my 29 year age difference marriage. DH was 54 when DD was born and he has children who are just 7-13 years younger than me. I appreciate your perspective and I’m glad that you don’t seem too put out having a much older father.

[Anonymous]

DH is 13 years older than me. It was his second marriage and my first. He had no kids from his previous relationship and we have 3 together. He is 48 and super healthy and very much into sports. He has more energy than I do,wants to have sex allthe time and wakes up with the baby 70% of the time. He is also much more immature than me I think.
I don’t see anything weird with our relationship. I have always dated older men (6-8 years older). For me it was harder to get over the fact that he was divorced, but with no kids from that marriage, my issues resolved pretty quickly. He is still a party boy at heart and I love him

[Anonymous]

Me and DH are 15 years apart. Married nearly 8 years and 2 kids. What exactly is there to be suspicious of?

[Anonymous]

The only time it's a problem is when age-related heath issues affect the older one and the younger one is still raring to go. I know a few women in their early 60's married to 80+ year olds and their lives are very different than mine and I'm the same age with a 65 year old husband. They're not enjoying retirement the way I am.

[Anonymous]

My DH’s sister was 3rd wife of man 25 years older than she (she was 23, he 48.) We got married 6 months before them. Everyone was aghast at her choice-my ILs/her parents did not go to wedding. We will all be celebrating our 25th anniversaries this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:.5x + 7

with x>18 I hope

Not too crazy

18 -> 16
17 -> 15.5
16 -> 15
15 -> 14.5
14 -> 14

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not necessarily "suspicious"...but often problematic and unhappy in the long run. When you're both still in the 30-55 range, it can be fine and you don't feel the difference so much. But when the older one gets older, a lot of issues begin to arise and the younger one is generally unhappy

This is what happened to my sister. She married a man about 20 years older than her and a year into their marriage he developed early onset Parkinsons. It isn't just the shakes--he has full blown dementia and she is a caregiver and miserable. She never had kids and is sad for her future.

Did she want kids? I am the much younger spouse and child-free by choice. I sometimes read these unsuccessful age gap stories and think that these people would have been unhappy anyway if they married someone their age. There are a million and one ways in which marriages can go wrong. That is why this country has a 50% divorce rate. So for all those people projecting, keep that in mind!