Ashamed about dating a younger man.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I started dating at the exact same ages you’ve specified. He’s amazing and we have such a great relationship. People mature differently and he was never a bro and was always responsible and hard working. You’re doing yourself a disservice to just automatically categorize him without giving him a chance. You have posters here making sweeping generalizations about a man they literally know nothing about. How stupid is that?!?

[Anonymous]

Yes, but 34 and 24? Don’t his uni friends look at you like a dorm mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but 34 and 24? Don’t his uni friends look at you like a dorm mom?

My husband was already a police officer for over a year by the time we started dating. Don’t be dense.

[Anonymous]

Are you kidding?! I’m jealous! If anyone hates on it, they probably are too!

I dated a younger guy (24, I was 32) and was also worried I’d rob him of his youth. That’s actually what ended things, he felt I looked down on him because of his age and didn’t trust him to be an adult and make his own decisions. So stop treating him like a kid and treat him with the same respect you’d have for a 34 year old man. If you get serious and it’s clear he doesn’t want to settle down on the same timeframe you do, then end things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's way too young to be considered marriage material but there is no reason you can't enjoy yourself but you do need to look to your future.

Maybe...this is what I told myself years ago when I met my much younger husband. But he may be the one. You can't know by making that assumption now. The truth is, even if he was 35, there are a lot of guys who become decent husbands, but not a lot of stellar ones. If he is really in to you and truly treating you like a serious prospect, then having that kind of confidence at 25 bodes far better than just finding someone within three years of your age. I had a few other younger guys hit on me back in my dating days, and yes more often than not they were wet behind the ears. But I doubt this guy comes off that way based on your description. If it is just the number of his age and all his other actions and behavior feels right, then tune out all the noise and go for what you want.

If I had listened to any of the naysayers above, I would have missed out on the most amazing relationship than I can imagine. DH is light years more mature than many of my exes around my age, and knows who he is - he never cared what anyone thought about his choices. He is one of the happiest people I know.

I have to chime in and concur with the PP above.

I met my DH when he was 22 and I was just turning 30. When we first started dating I was hesitant about the age difference, but we just clicked. He was more mature at 22 than most guys I've met at any age. Now almost 20 years later we have been married for 14 years, have two kids and a happy life. The only "downside" you might say is that we had our kids when I was older than I would have preferred, because there was no way I was having kids until he was good and ready for that massive life change. We were fortunate to have no issues with getting pregnant etc. due to my "advanced maternal age".

OP, none of us can get the full picture of the circumstances. It's really just about you and him and what you both want. I understand your hesitancy, I felt it myself 20 years ago, but I'd say trust your heart. If you are only embarrassed about the age difference but everything else feels good, just go with it.

[Anonymous]

OP- just go with it. 24 isn't that young, and 34 isn't all that much older. If things work out, awesome. If they don't, then carry on with your life.

Lucky him btw. I'm 27 and would prefer someone older vs younger.

Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

is this just FWB? do you want to be married and have kids? if so, YOU need to move on. this is not the guy you marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:is this just FWB? do you want to be married and have kids? if so, YOU need to move on. this is not the guy you marry.

You don't know them so you can't know that.

[Anonymous]

It's commonly believed that younger people aren't interested in anything serious until they reach their late 20's. Men have it worse because society assumes that all we want when were younger is sex. I say this is bs. OP, if he's mature and you both get along, then you have nothing to worry about. If all he wants is to bone, then you might have a problem.

[Anonymous]

Jason Momoa is 39, his wife Lisa Bonet is 51 and has a grown daughter Joey Kravitz 29 from her previous marriage to Lenny Kravitz.

Her daughter is closer in age to her 2nd husband.

[Anonymous]

I'm 32, my husband is 46. We started dating when I was 28 and he was 42. It's a decent size age gap, but neither of us have ever been happier. Age is what you make of it, and everyone matures at different rates and wants different things. If you are both happy, let the number go and focus on what you both want out of life. Is it marriage and kids, time to travel, etc. As long as you are on the same page about broader timelines the actual numbers don't matter.

[Anonymous]

34 is close to the perfect age for a woman. Lucky kid.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are one year apart and I think it is weird anyone would give the age difference a second thought. The big issue is your age and wanting a family. If he is not ready for that it may not be a good match, but there are plenty of guys in their 30s who also feel unready.

But you seem to have a big issue with the age difference. Like you've "settled" for someone younger and it makes you ashamed. If you can't get past it you should break up with him to be fair to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jason Momoa is 39, his wife Lisa Bonet is 51 and has a grown daughter Joey Kravitz 29 from her previous marriage to Lenny Kravitz.

Her daughter is closer in age to her 2nd husband.

When they started dating, he was 26 and she was 38. Lucky woman!

[Anonymous]

I as a 26 year-old man had a 39 year-old GF. She was great and it was a lot of fun. I just wasn't ready to settle down.

This is nothing to be embarrassed about, enjoy yourself, OP.