Ashamed about dating a younger man.

[Anonymous]

I don’t mean just a little younger. He’s 10 years younger. I’m 34 and he’s 24. I’m embarrassed. I’m not sure why. We are technically both adults and enjoy each other’s company. But he’s just so young and I feel like I’m robbing him of his youth. I mean I was 22 and graduated college when he was 12 and in middle school. I could have been his babysitter. It’s also like I’m pathetic because guys in my own peer group didn’t want me. Am I being ridiculous? I don’t want to hear the cougar comments or guys have done it for years excuse. Is it really okay to date someone so much younger?

[Anonymous]

It’s totally fine. Nothing to be embarrassed about. But having said that, if you’re looking for a relationship that will end in marriage, this probably won’t work out.

[Anonymous]

If it’s a fling - cool.

If it’s not - ew.

People will post and say love is love blah blah and never say anything to your face but sorry. Just no.

[Anonymous]

Meh. NBD. Priyanka just married Nick and they have 10 year age difference. Huge Jackman is 14 years younger than his wife too. Seriously. NBD.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but I do think you are robbing him of his best years and he is probably too wet behind the ears to know better.

These get differences get less meaningful as you get older, but man in his 20s has some stuff to work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but I do think you are robbing him of his best years and he is probably too wet behind the ears to know better.

These get differences get less meaningful as you get older, but man in his 20s has some stuff to work out.

This.

If you were 44 and him 34 - totally different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t mean just a little younger. He’s 10 years younger. I’m 34 and he’s 24. I’m embarrassed. I’m not sure why. We are technically both adults and enjoy each other’s company. But he’s just so young and I feel like I’m robbing him of his youth. I mean I was 22 and graduated college when he was 12 and in middle school. I could have been his babysitter. It’s also like I’m pathetic because guys in my own peer group didn’t want me. Am I being ridiculous? I don’t want to hear the cougar comments or guys have done it for years excuse. Is it really okay to date someone so much younger?

How long have you been dating? Are you exclusive? TBH he probably sees you as a fling, not as a long-term interest.

[Anonymous]

Sigh.

Just learn to hold your head up high and accept that when you're not within the (stupid) norm, you're going to get glances and comments. Toughen up, OP, and live your life happily and proudly.

My husband is 18 years older than me. So what.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I agree with you. I would probably let him go.

[Anonymous]

Let him go. I have friends in their 40s and 50s who don't mind a younger guy!

[Anonymous]

Treat everyone as an individual and pay attention to how they make you feel. Most women who post hard and fast axioms about love and dating are rarely the happiest ones I know.

I met my husband when he was 25 and I was 34. I thought he was way too young, but damn being with him felt great. I tried to scare him away, and bluntly told him to go sow his oats. He wouldn't stop pursuing me, and I did have other suitors my age and older. I tried to date another "age appropriate" guy, and realized my DH was everything I wanted and just too darn young. I got over myself and we have been happily married over a decade. No one on this board can tell you the truth about this guy - trust in yourself and your feelings.

I totally agree with PP 12:51 - you gotta do you, not try to worry about what anyone else would do.

[Anonymous]

Op here. We’ve only started dating in early October so almost 2 months, but I’ve known him about a year. We’ve been seeing each other pretty much every week since October and some weeks have had multiple dates. I was very much into him , but pulled back because of the age difference, but he still wanted to see me.
Of course I want to marry and have children and given my age soon. We of course haven’t discussed marrying each other but he says he sees marriage in his future. I don’t want to push him into something he may not truly be ready for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We’ve only started dating in early October so almost 2 months, but I’ve known him about a year. We’ve been seeing each other pretty much every week since October and some weeks have had multiple dates. I was very much into him , but pulled back because of the age difference, but he still wanted to see me.
Of course I want to marry and have children and given my age soon. We of course haven’t discussed marrying each other but he says he sees marriage in his future. I don’t want to push him into something he may not truly be ready for.

It sounds like you need to see how this goes. He knows what he wants, so unless you get a desperate vibe from him, trust that he is a grown man who can make his own decisions. I think it sounds promising - take it a day at a time.

[Anonymous]

He's way too young to be considered marriage material but there is no reason you can't enjoy yourself but you do need to look to your future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's way too young to be considered marriage material but there is no reason you can't enjoy yourself but you do need to look to your future.

Maybe...this is what I told myself years ago when I met my much younger husband. But he may be the one. You can't know by making that assumption now. The truth is, even if he was 35, there are a lot of guys who become decent husbands, but not a lot of stellar ones. If he is really in to you and truly treating you like a serious prospect, then having that kind of confidence at 25 bodes far better than just finding someone within three years of your age. I had a few other younger guys hit on me back in my dating days, and yes more often than not they were wet behind the ears. But I doubt this guy comes off that way based on your description. If it is just the number of his age and all his other actions and behavior feels right, then tune out all the noise and go for what you want.

If I had listened to any of the naysayers above, I would have missed out on the most amazing relationship than I can imagine. DH is light years more mature than many of my exes around my age, and knows who he is - he never cared what anyone thought about his choices. He is one of the happiest people I know.