A Red Flag or Cute?

[Anonymous]

Red flag

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met a man in a casual situation. We exchange phone numbers and agreed to go on a first date. He shows up to my house with a compatibility test. About 30 or so questions, which he precedes to ask me. I agree to take the test because I'm uncertain what it means at this point, and I don't want to be rude. I don't really remember the results of the test because it felt more like a joke to me or maybe a.fun ice breaker. We've only been casually dating for a few weeks but I can't past the fact that he asked me to take a compatibility test. I thought the purpose of dating was to get to know each other in an intimate setting. If this happened to you, would you consider it a red flag or just a really cute behavior? We haven't been dating long enough for me to know if this is a red flag and if there are other behaviors that could be just as strange. I can tell you fhat he is 33 and still.lives with his parents.

For what it's worth, if a woman (I am male) showed up at my house, for a first date, with a "compatibility test" I would ghost myself faster than those dark shadowy dudes that dragged people down to Hell in Ghost (the Demi Moore/Swayze/Whoopie movie).

[Anonymous]

This is me reacting to the compatibility test:

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

I think that the red flag is that you could t say ‘no’ when some weird guy you don’t know shows up with a test...

[Anonymous]

I did eharmony with the compatibility tests. Had 2 very clear pics. One jerk asked my measurements & another my dress size, as their 2nd questions. btw in one pic I am wearing leggings & clearly slim,size 4. I told both jerks I am a "relaxed fit 14" for fun In your case he did the reverse. Some lazy (or cheap) people want to shop for a partner like they are buying a shirt off Amazon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Nope. This guy is a social idiot. I forbid you to keep seeing him.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering, what ethnicity is he?

Oh, he's got to be a white dude.

[Anonymous]

A few things stuck out in the story. Agree with the other posters about not having a stranger pick you up at your place. It’s a safety thing. Also it’s easier to part ways after the first date in a more public place than it is in front of your house. With the compatibility test, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself because you think it would be rude. Saying something direct like “ I’d rather go out and if we have in person compatibility first”. If he uses this as some sort compatibility test as a screen to be willing to take you to dinner than it’s better to part ways early. So don’t let someone pressure you into something because you think it’s rude to stand up for what you want (or don’t want).

Yes it’s a red flag that he would give this test on the first date. I could see if you were dating and were several weeks and and were trying to learn more about the person. I think if you are using it on a first date, you would be better signing up with Eharmony or a match maker etc to prescreen before the first date.

[Anonymous]

So what did the tests say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what did the tests say?

Did the results say you’re compatible or is he keeping them a secret?

[Anonymous]

Ew total red flag.

I come from a semi-conservative religious background and singles will sometimes do questionnaires to get to know each other. But even in a setting where you’re talking to people with the explicit intention of getting married (with limited dating) - it would be kinda weird to bring a compatibility test to the first date.

Our “questionnaires” are basically asking about your views on love/relationships, career, finances, IL relationships, child rearing philosophy, expectations re: housework, etc.

[Anonymous]

This is straight out of the book the Rosie Project.

[Anonymous]

PP here...was this the test?
http://therosieproject.s3.amazonaws.com/Quiz2/quiz2.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met a man in a casual situation. We exchange phone numbers and agreed to go on a first date. He shows up to my house with a compatibility test. About 30 or so questions, which he precedes to ask me. I agree to take the test because I'm uncertain what it means at this point, and I don't want to be rude. I don't really remember the results of the test because it felt more like a joke to me or maybe a.fun ice breaker. We've only been casually dating for a few weeks but I can't past the fact that he asked me to take a compatibility test. I thought the purpose of dating was to get to know each other in an intimate setting. If this happened to you, would you consider it a red flag or just a really cute behavior? We haven't been dating long enough for me to know if this is a red flag and if there are other behaviors that could be just as strange. I can tell you fhat he is 33 and still.lives with his parents.

The compatibility test is your potential red flag!? How about the bit about him living with mommy and daddy at age 33?