Tips to catch cheating wives and how to recover afterwards.

[Anonymous]

But it could be the DH's semen, not just the AP. Seems like a fallible plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex-SIL did the weekly “audit” thing on my brother for eight years after he cheated. The anxiety and hyper-awareness meant she could never enjoy anything, and frankly, it wasn’t flattering to her: she looked really abusive, and we felt bad for him.

She finally realized that she was never going to get over his cheating, and kicked him out, but I think they both wish they had just split when the cheating occurred.

There was only one person to blame. The person who chose to cheat, not the victim.

I would have continued to check up on him but where he wouldn't know. Once someone cheats it's pretty much over, BUT many women have to stay because of finances and the kids. It's not like you really like the cheater after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a black light in your bedroom... tell her its so that you can "be retro"... you know 70s (maybe get a lava lamp too). Maybe get one of those black light posters so it looks cool and justifyable.

If you've watched enough CSI you already know... semen shows up bright with the blacklight. Look it up, its true.

But then she'll see it when she's doing the deed. Instead, get a hand-held one and hide it.

Ahh.... yes, if she is doing the deed at home.

I was thinking that she would come home "late and tired" ... maybe as she undressed in the bedroom, there would be evidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-SIL did the weekly “audit” thing on my brother for eight years after he cheated. The anxiety and hyper-awareness meant she could never enjoy anything, and frankly, it wasn’t flattering to her: she looked really abusive, and we felt bad for him.

She finally realized that she was never going to get over his cheating, and kicked him out, but I think they both wish they had just split when the cheating occurred.

There was only one person to blame. The person who chose to cheat, not the victim.

I would have continued to check up on him but where he wouldn't know. Once someone cheats it's pretty much over, BUT many women have to stay because of finances and the kids. It's not like you really like the cheater after that.

You do not have to stay. You have options. If you believe that you don't, the cheater will capitalize on this and it will get worse. Serial cheaters are manipulative and realize that their spouses do not want to give up the ring. When you stay, you are giving any sense of power that you had in the relationship. Get therapy, create a plan, and leave. Start modeling healthy relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-SIL did the weekly “audit” thing on my brother for eight years after he cheated. The anxiety and hyper-awareness meant she could never enjoy anything, and frankly, it wasn’t flattering to her: she looked really abusive, and we felt bad for him.

She finally realized that she was never going to get over his cheating, and kicked him out, but I think they both wish they had just split when the cheating occurred.

There was only one person to blame. The person who chose to cheat, not the victim.

I would have continued to check up on him but where he wouldn't know. Once someone cheats it's pretty much over, BUT many women have to stay because of finances and the kids. It's not like you really like the cheater after that.

“Have” to stay because of finances and kids? No. The cheated upon can get a job and split custody.

If you can’t forgive, then leave. Likewise, if you can’t keep your private parts in your pants, leave. Don’t blame your kids for your dysfunctional marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an exhausting way to live. Just MOVE on. You are not doing your little kids any favors. Find a partner you like and trust and work on a respectful coparenting relationship

It's not exhausting. Everyone ought to keep their eyes open. You may know someone for fifteen years and not know what they are capable of. It's best not to be naive.

You check up on your accountant, home repair guy etc. Of course you should know what your partner is doing.

EVERYONE should spot check their partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an exhausting way to live. Just MOVE on. You are not doing your little kids any favors. Find a partner you like and trust and work on a respectful coparenting relationship

It's not exhausting. Everyone ought to keep their eyes open. You may know someone for fifteen years and not know what they are capable of. It's best not to be naive.

You check up on your accountant, home repair guy etc. Of course you should know what your partner is doing.

EVERYONE should spot check their partner.

This is a really abusive mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-SIL did the weekly “audit” thing on my brother for eight years after he cheated. The anxiety and hyper-awareness meant she could never enjoy anything, and frankly, it wasn’t flattering to her: she looked really abusive, and we felt bad for him.

She finally realized that she was never going to get over his cheating, and kicked him out, but I think they both wish they had just split when the cheating occurred.

There was only one person to blame. The person who chose to cheat, not the victim.

I would have continued to check up on him but where he wouldn't know. Once someone cheats it's pretty much over, BUT many women have to stay because of finances and the kids. It's not like you really like the cheater after that.

You do not have to stay. You have options. If you believe that you don't, the cheater will capitalize on this and it will get worse. Serial cheaters are manipulative and realize that their spouses do not want to give up the ring. When you stay, you are giving any sense of power that you had in the relationship. Get therapy, create a plan, and leave. Start modeling healthy relationships.

I've seen women that don't have options. A woman in her 50's with health problems and others so it's not a size that fits all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an exhausting way to live. Just MOVE on. You are not doing your little kids any favors. Find a partner you like and trust and work on a respectful coparenting relationship

It's not exhausting. Everyone ought to keep their eyes open. You may know someone for fifteen years and not know what they are capable of. It's best not to be naive.

You check up on your accountant, home repair guy etc. Of course you should know what your partner is doing.

EVERYONE should spot check their partner.

This is a really abusive mindset.

Says a cheater, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an exhausting way to live. Just MOVE on. You are not doing your little kids any favors. Find a partner you like and trust and work on a respectful coparenting relationship

It's not exhausting. Everyone ought to keep their eyes open. You may know someone for fifteen years and not know what they are capable of. It's best not to be naive.

You check up on your accountant, home repair guy etc. Of course you should know what your partner is doing.

EVERYONE should spot check their partner.

This is a really abusive mindset.

Says a cheater, lol.

NP here but you need help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a black light in your bedroom... tell her its so that you can "be retro"... you know 70s (maybe get a lava lamp too). Maybe get one of those black light posters so it looks cool and justifyable.

If you've watched enough CSI you already know... semen shows up bright with the blacklight. Look it up, its true.

But then she'll see it when she's doing the deed. Instead, get a hand-held one and hide it.

Ahh.... yes, if she is doing the deed at home.

I was thinking that she would come home "late and tired" ... maybe as she undressed in the bedroom, there would be evidence.

Nah, most women are too smart to do something so obvious. It’s more likely that she’s messing around during her lunch hour. You should randomly surprise her at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an exhausting way to live. Just MOVE on. You are not doing your little kids any favors. Find a partner you like and trust and work on a respectful coparenting relationship

It's not exhausting. Everyone ought to keep their eyes open. You may know someone for fifteen years and not know what they are capable of. It's best not to be naive.

You check up on your accountant, home repair guy etc. Of course you should know what your partner is doing.

EVERYONE should spot check their partner.

This is a really abusive mindset.

Says a cheater, lol.

Says an idiot. Lol!

[Anonymous]

Check her phone, that's the usual giveaway. Posters at Surviving Infidelity all warn that you need to gather a full picture of evidence before confronting, or else you'll just get lies and more careful cheating. GL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a black light in your bedroom... tell her its so that you can "be retro"... you know 70s (maybe get a lava lamp too). Maybe get one of those black light posters so it looks cool and justifyable.

If you've watched enough CSI you already know... semen shows up bright with the blacklight. Look it up, its true.

But then she'll see it when she's doing the deed. Instead, get a hand-held one and hide it.

Ahh.... yes, if she is doing the deed at home.

I was thinking that she would come home "late and tired" ... maybe as she undressed in the bedroom, there would be evidence.

With the handheld one... you can "audit" the laundry basket every few days.

[Anonymous]

You'll never catch me, Steve!