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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ex-SIL did the weekly “audit” thing on my brother for eight years after he cheated. The anxiety and hyper-awareness meant she could never enjoy anything, and frankly, it wasn’t flattering to her: she looked really abusive, and we felt bad for him.

She finally realized that she was never going to get over his cheating, and kicked him out, but I think they both wish they had just split when the cheating occurred.[/quote]

There was only one person to blame. The person who chose to cheat, not the victim.

I would have continued to check up on him but where he wouldn't know.  Once someone cheats it's pretty much over, BUT many women have to stay because of finances and the kids.  It's not like you really like the cheater after that.  [/quote]

You do not have to stay. You have options. If you believe that you don't, the cheater will capitalize on this and it will get worse. Serial cheaters are manipulative and realize that their spouses do not want to give up the ring. When you stay, you are giving any sense of power that you had in the relationship. Get therapy, create a plan, and leave. Start modeling healthy relationships.[/quote]

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