EX wants more parenting time

[Anonymous]

OP I think you are being very reasonable. He wants full time childcare during the week and then to do all the fun things on the weekends. That is not how parenting works. He needs to figure it out during the week if he wants more time.

[Anonymous]

Tell him to get a new job and f**k himself.

No judge will give him every weekend because his job is too demanding to see the kids during the week. No judge would even hear the case because there is no material change in circumstance.

[Anonymous]

A word of caution: if he negotiates more parenting time, he can also negotiate child support modification.

I wouldn't give up every weekend.

[Anonymous]

I am the OP. Our children our 6 &10. We live 10 miles apart. The issue is that ex h job has him travel so a true 50/50 is not possible. Like this past week he has been at a convention all week in Las Vegas. I do not see him giving up his job. I honestly would not have an issue sharing equal custody with him. I do not get child support directly. In lieu of child support he pays for 100% their private school. I am fortunate not to need any financial support from him.

Giving up my weekends with the kids is just not an option for me. I don't know what more I can offer. More time during the week and flexibility with his traveling is out right rejected. I just don't understand.

[Anonymous]

He probably wants a set schedule and not to have to coordinate with you every week regarding logistics. That seems tedious and also it doesn’t provide stability for the kids. I don’t think either of you are wrong, necessarily. Just be mindful that it might not go your way if taken to court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP. Our children our 6 &10. We live 10 miles apart. The issue is that ex h job has him travel so a true 50/50 is not possible. Like this past week he has been at a convention all week in Las Vegas. I do not see him giving up his job. I honestly would not have an issue sharing equal custody with him. I do not get child support directly. In lieu of child support he pays for 100% their private school. I am fortunate not to need any financial support from him.

Giving up my weekends with the kids is just not an option for me. I don't know what more I can offer. More time during the week and flexibility with his traveling is out right rejected. I just don't understand.

How do you see more time during the week working? What would this mean for your kids in terms of their schedules and routines?

If he is paying 100% of school, he is providing financial support.

What about the splitting the weekend option?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP. Our children our 6 &10. We live 10 miles apart. The issue is that ex h job has him travel so a true 50/50 is not possible. Like this past week he has been at a convention all week in Las Vegas. I do not see him giving up his job. I honestly would not have an issue sharing equal custody with him. I do not get child support directly. In lieu of child support he pays for 100% their private school. I am fortunate not to need any financial support from him.

Giving up my weekends with the kids is just not an option for me. I don't know what more I can offer. More time during the week and flexibility with his traveling is out right rejected. I just don't understand.

I would call your lawyer to get a handle on what might happen if he takes you to court.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he can pick the kids up a day or two early when it's his weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP. Our children our 6 &10. We live 10 miles apart. The issue is that ex h job has him travel so a true 50/50 is not possible. Like this past week he has been at a convention all week in Las Vegas. I do not see him giving up his job. I honestly would not have an issue sharing equal custody with him. I do not get child support directly. In lieu of child support he pays for 100% their private school. I am fortunate not to need any financial support from him.

Giving up my weekends with the kids is just not an option for me. I don't know what more I can offer. More time during the week and flexibility with his traveling is out right rejected. I just don't understand.

I would call your lawyer to get a handle on what might happen if he takes you to court.

She did. It’s in the first post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP. Our children our 6 &10. We live 10 miles apart. The issue is that ex h job has him travel so a true 50/50 is not possible. Like this past week he has been at a convention all week in Las Vegas. I do not see him giving up his job. I honestly would not have an issue sharing equal custody with him. I do not get child support directly. In lieu of child support he pays for 100% their private school. I am fortunate not to need any financial support from him.

Giving up my weekends with the kids is just not an option for me. I don't know what more I can offer. More time during the week and flexibility with his traveling is out right rejected. I just don't understand.

I would call your lawyer to get a handle on what might happen if he takes you to court.

I did and she said a number of things could happen. More than likely we would be sent to mediation. She would try and get the case dismissed but that might not happen right away without a full hearing. All I can think is what a waste of time or money.

[Anonymous]

Your lawyer is right he has slim to no chance of getting this. Closer to none ac. I know it is stressful but try not to stress.

[Anonymous]

I know two families that split weekends. One switches Saturday evenings at 5:00pm and the other switches Sunday morning at 9:30am.

[Anonymous]

Would you be willing him to give him part of your weekends? Like he could have them Friday night OR Saturday or Sunday morning or afternoon? So he still gets to them for a few hours on your weekend? Personally, I wouldn't be too keen to do even this, but maybe it will be a solution that works for you guys.


It's not fair for him to have every weekend at all, it leaves you doing all the day to day parenting, and then he swoops in on the weekends to do fun things. It leaves you with a risk of you becoming the bad cop, and he is the fun dad who takes the kids to do fun things every weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, does he pay child support? What on earth are his arguments for why he should get every weekend and you should get no weekends??

I loved the PPs story about the dad who chose his kids over his job. Sounds like you and your ex both have demanding jobs, and he wants you to make a huge sacrifice because of HIS situation. No way. You sound very reasonable, and I’m pretty sure no judge would give him every weekend.

I can think of at least 3 families I know with this exact arrangement where the dad gets every single weekend and they alternate holidays.

Did they get every weekend custody ordered by a judge or did the parents agree to it? Big difference.

[Anonymous]

If I were his attorney my next offer would be my client takes 3 weekends a month, plus 8 weeks of summer vacation. That would be about 164 nights a year or 45 percent time. That offer would also be seen by the judge as being very flexible on his part. My next offer would be one week a month, plus every other weekend, plus 6 weeks of summer vacation. That would be 180 nights a year or 49 percent of time.

I would encourage dad to hire a babysitter who is old enough to drive, or get a female relative to help with the kids that one week a month when he has them during the work week.