He cheated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him, cut all contact and run as fast as you can from this seriously weak character.

You are in a serious car accident and his reaction is poor me, my needs are not being met.

Seriously DO NOT HAVE KIDS with this poor excuse for a human.

Imagine having cancer or a child with cancer. This man will only be worried about his own needs.

FFS, get out.

Thats what im thinking, im just heartbroken, i left everything to move and be with him and when im at my lowest he presented me with divorce papers. Now i have to look for a job to move back to my old state and im still not 100% recovered from the accident

You can look at it as a heart break, I lost everything or you can think your guardian angel showed you who he really is before you had children so you can go back home and be happy.

It's a gift. Embrace your new life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just based on what you wrote I can see why he cheated. Read it again, and maybe you will see why.

Hint: you treated him like shit for 6 months....

It's a flimsy reason on any scale. While I'm not saying your circumstances completely excuse your behavior, OP, I would NOT discount the combination of accident, recovery, narcotics, a move, etc. etc. etc. In a very short time, you've had to deal with a number of HUGE issues. While your husband may have had his feelings hurt, I'm not sure he was there enough for you either. And six months? Are you KIDDING me? Did you two include the "for better or for worse" bit in your vows? Are you telling me that he gave it six months of trying harder than you (or not) and this justifies his cheating? NEGATIVE.

I'm very sorry and i hope you can both move past this in time but you BOTH need to be honest about your parts, your expectations and needs. But please don't take this on as you being the villian - he made an incredibly selfish and cowardly move. Nothing you have done or said excuses his cheating - the question is, will he be man enough to admit it and work with you to restore and grow your marriage.

Praying for you both <3

We’ve been married for 14 months, he looked for a job here didnt find one, he convinced me to move to his state. I quit my job to move in June and the accident happened, i broke my knee. Lost my independence overnight, in a new state, no friends ir family, and in just 4 months of finally living under the same roof he cheats? N is not even sorry he yelled at me and said it was my fault that he cheated, that im the one to blame, and presented me with divorce papers. I was so heartbroken, i just signed the papers, as I dont want anything from him, no alimony nothing. The irony is, the whole time weve been together, he was the one checking my phone whenever it beeoed, asking who is calling or who im talking to whenever it rings, who is commenting on ur fbook, why did u respond ect and i never had an inappropriate relationship with anyone while he is the one who cheated. Im just so heartbroken, its not like he didnt leave a hole or I never wanted more in the relationship or he treated me perfectly but I stayed loyal. I just feel so sad

Oh OP - my blood is boiling and I don't even know you.
I'd also like to revise what I wrote earlier - I was trying to be "unbiased" but I have to say, I agree with the poster who observed that your husband was making everything about himself ... I'm embarrassed for him. You married a narcissist and I'm so sorry. And if you were older, you'd know his unbridled jealousy is a big red flag ... it's often a trait of cheaters because they know what they're capable of themselves... and you wouldn't know this unless you learned the hard way or knew somebody else it happened to, so DON'T beat yourself up for not seeing it, I beg you. While I know it's said that problems are never 100% one person's fault, I'd say in this instance, your husband is close to earning the dubious distinction.

Trust in your goodness.

Thank you, i just feel so sad as I could have never imagined that, he told me over and over how everyone cheated on him, played victim all the time and said i was emotionally abusive or gadlighting him whenever i disagreed or refused to do something. He would call my family to say im chatting with guys, even though these were childhood friends, tell his mom about our arguments, call my cousin, my family n tell them how bad i was even though im a cery private person and eventually hes the one who cheated, im just broken

Amazing, huh? He accused you of being emotionally abusive and gas lighting... that's more than simple hypocrisy, it's delusional at best. I get that you're sad though - it's the death of something - but the last post I read before writing this suggested that you look as this as a blessing and to thank your Guardian Angel ... you won't see it yet but he has shown his true colors early and I couldn't agree with that poster more.

He sounds so destructive that I wouldn't put it past him to hurt you physically - wouldn't surprise me at all. Do whatever you need to be safe, OP - Mind, Body and Soul...

[Anonymous]

After 6 months of being ignored, it is hard to call it "cheating" for him to find sexual relief elsewhere. Why exactly does that bother you? If his sexual activity is so important to you, why then did you ignore him for 6 months? How many more months did you expect him to not "cheat" ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After 6 months of being ignored, it is hard to call it "cheating" for him to find sexual relief elsewhere. Why exactly does that bother you? If his sexual activity is so important to you, why then did you ignore him for 6 months? How many more months did you expect him to not "cheat" ?

I never ignored him sexually, even when i couldn’t straighten or bend my leg properly bcoz of my fracture, we were sexually active. We had sex twice the week i discovered he was cheating so no this has nothing to do with me ignoring him sexually

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him, cut all contact and run as fast as you can from this seriously weak character.

You are in a serious car accident and his reaction is poor me, my needs are not being met.

Seriously DO NOT HAVE KIDS with this poor excuse for a human.

Imagine having cancer or a child with cancer. This man will only be worried about his own needs.

FFS, get out.

Thats what im thinking, im just heartbroken, i left everything to move and be with him and when im at my lowest he presented me with divorce papers. Now i have to look for a job to move back to my old state and im still not 100% recovered from the accident

You can look at it as a heart break, I lost everything or you can think your guardian angel showed you who he really is before you had children so you can go back home and be happy.

It's a gift. Embrace your new life.

My brain gets that, but i still feel so depressed and dumb for quitting my job and everything to follow him

[Anonymous]

You are never responsible for another person's choices. If he was unhappy and wanted a divorce, he should have done that before finding someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just based on what you wrote I can see why he cheated. Read it again, and maybe you will see why.

Hint: you treated him like shit for 6 months....

It's a flimsy reason on any scale. While I'm not saying your circumstances completely excuse your behavior, OP, I would NOT discount the combination of accident, recovery, narcotics, a move, etc. etc. etc. In a very short time, you've had to deal with a number of HUGE issues. While your husband may have had his feelings hurt, I'm not sure he was there enough for you either. And six months? Are you KIDDING me? Did you two include the "for better or for worse" bit in your vows? Are you telling me that he gave it six months of trying harder than you (or not) and this justifies his cheating? NEGATIVE.

I'm very sorry and i hope you can both move past this in time but you BOTH need to be honest about your parts, your expectations and needs. But please don't take this on as you being the villian - he made an incredibly selfish and cowardly move. Nothing you have done or said excuses his cheating - the question is, will he be man enough to admit it and work with you to restore and grow your marriage.

Praying for you both <3

We’ve been married for 14 months, he looked for a job here didnt find one, he convinced me to move to his state. I quit my job to move in June and the accident happened, i broke my knee. Lost my independence overnight, in a new state, no friends ir family, and in just 4 months of finally living under the same roof he cheats? N is not even sorry he yelled at me and said it was my fault that he cheated, that im the one to blame, and presented me with divorce papers. I was so heartbroken, i just signed the papers, as I dont want anything from him, no alimony nothing. The irony is, the whole time weve been together, he was the one checking my phone whenever it beeoed, asking who is calling or who im talking to whenever it rings, who is commenting on ur fbook, why did u respond ect and i never had an inappropriate relationship with anyone while he is the one who cheated. Im just so heartbroken, its not like he didnt leave a hole or I never wanted more in the relationship or he treated me perfectly but I stayed loyal. I just feel so sad

Oh OP - my blood is boiling and I don't even know you.
I'd also like to revise what I wrote earlier - I was trying to be "unbiased" but I have to say, I agree with the poster who observed that your husband was making everything about himself ... I'm embarrassed for him. You married a narcissist and I'm so sorry. And if you were older, you'd know his unbridled jealousy is a big red flag ... it's often a trait of cheaters because they know what they're capable of themselves... and you wouldn't know this unless you learned the hard way or knew somebody else it happened to, so DON'T beat yourself up for not seeing it, I beg you. While I know it's said that problems are never 100% one person's fault, I'd say in this instance, your husband is close to earning the dubious distinction.

Trust in your goodness.

Thank you, i just feel so sad as I could have never imagined that, he told me over and over how everyone cheated on him, played victim all the time and said i was emotionally abusive or gadlighting him whenever i disagreed or refused to do something. He would call my family to say im chatting with guys, even though these were childhood friends, tell his mom about our arguments, call my cousin, my family n tell them how bad i was even though im a cery private person and eventually hes the one who cheated, im just broken

Amazing, huh? He accused you of being emotionally abusive and gas lighting... that's more than simple hypocrisy, it's delusional at best. I get that you're sad though - it's the death of something - but the last post I read before writing this suggested that you look as this as a blessing and to thank your Guardian Angel ... you won't see it yet but he has shown his true colors early and I couldn't agree with that poster more.

He sounds so destructive that I wouldn't put it past him to hurt you physically - wouldn't surprise me at all. Do whatever you need to be safe, OP - Mind, Body and Soul...

Yes, i am sad because i invested 2 years of my life into it and he has been smearing my name to his family, mother, siblings and friends. None of them knows he cheated on me, he told them i was emotionally abusive, rejecting him and didnt appreciate him. So im hurt that so many people dont know the full truth and are judging me for it. Also, since i discovered the affair, he acts like im scum and has so much hate for me, that im second guessing myself wondering if maybe im the one to blame, maybe i didnt do enough. He leaves home early and gets home at 11pm or midnight. I go to physical therapy and come home, locked in the bedroom all day as I have no friends and family around. Im just so broken and sad and i need to get a job so i can get out of the toxic environment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him, cut all contact and run as fast as you can from this seriously weak character.

You are in a serious car accident and his reaction is poor me, my needs are not being met.

Seriously DO NOT HAVE KIDS with this poor excuse for a human.

Imagine having cancer or a child with cancer. This man will only be worried about his own needs.

FFS, get out.

Thats what im thinking, im just heartbroken, i left everything to move and be with him and when im at my lowest he presented me with divorce papers. Now i have to look for a job to move back to my old state and im still not 100% recovered from the accident

You can look at it as a heart break, I lost everything or you can think your guardian angel showed you who he really is before you had children so you can go back home and be happy.

It's a gift. Embrace your new life.

My brain gets that, but i still feel so depressed and dumb for quitting my job and everything to follow him

But OP - you moved to be with your husband. Despite what many try to promote, I think far fewer people are able to pull-off the long distance thing. You MUST give yourself permission to give yourself a break. Imagine one of your favorite people going through the EXACT same thing ... treat yourself as well as you would them. And don't invent reasons you somehow deserve ANY of this ... whether you were already prone to beating yourself up or he initiated or further instilled it in you, it's your job to stop being unkind to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him, cut all contact and run as fast as you can from this seriously weak character.

You are in a serious car accident and his reaction is poor me, my needs are not being met.

Seriously DO NOT HAVE KIDS with this poor excuse for a human.

Imagine having cancer or a child with cancer. This man will only be worried about his own needs.

FFS, get out.

Thats what im thinking, im just heartbroken, i left everything to move and be with him and when im at my lowest he presented me with divorce papers. Now i have to look for a job to move back to my old state and im still not 100% recovered from the accident

You can look at it as a heart break, I lost everything or you can think your guardian angel showed you who he really is before you had children so you can go back home and be happy.

It's a gift. Embrace your new life.

As someone who didn't find out about cheating until after kids, I say count your blessings! You dodged a major bullet. Spend the next year focuaing on yourself - recovering, getting back to work, filling your life with honest people you can rely on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him, cut all contact and run as fast as you can from this seriously weak character.

You are in a serious car accident and his reaction is poor me, my needs are not being met.

Seriously DO NOT HAVE KIDS with this poor excuse for a human.

Imagine having cancer or a child with cancer. This man will only be worried about his own needs.

FFS, get out.

Thats what im thinking, im just heartbroken, i left everything to move and be with him and when im at my lowest he presented me with divorce papers. Now i have to look for a job to move back to my old state and im still not 100% recovered from the accident

You can look at it as a heart break, I lost everything or you can think your guardian angel showed you who he really is before you had children so you can go back home and be happy.

It's a gift. Embrace your new life.

My brain gets that, but i still feel so depressed and dumb for quitting my job and everything to follow him

Your heart and your head will sync with time. Your head can turn on a dime, the heart changes courses slowly like a ship... Follow your head and your heart will catch up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just based on what you wrote I can see why he cheated. Read it again, and maybe you will see why.

Hint: you treated him like shit for 6 months....

It's a flimsy reason on any scale. While I'm not saying your circumstances completely excuse your behavior, OP, I would NOT discount the combination of accident, recovery, narcotics, a move, etc. etc. etc. In a very short time, you've had to deal with a number of HUGE issues. While your husband may have had his feelings hurt, I'm not sure he was there enough for you either. And six months? Are you KIDDING me? Did you two include the "for better or for worse" bit in your vows? Are you telling me that he gave it six months of trying harder than you (or not) and this justifies his cheating? NEGATIVE.

I'm very sorry and i hope you can both move past this in time but you BOTH need to be honest about your parts, your expectations and needs. But please don't take this on as you being the villian - he made an incredibly selfish and cowardly move. Nothing you have done or said excuses his cheating - the question is, will he be man enough to admit it and work with you to restore and grow your marriage.

Praying for you both <3

We’ve been married for 14 months, he looked for a job here didnt find one, he convinced me to move to his state. I quit my job to move in June and the accident happened, i broke my knee. Lost my independence overnight, in a new state, no friends ir family, and in just 4 months of finally living under the same roof he cheats? N is not even sorry he yelled at me and said it was my fault that he cheated, that im the one to blame, and presented me with divorce papers. I was so heartbroken, i just signed the papers, as I dont want anything from him, no alimony nothing. The irony is, the whole time weve been together, he was the one checking my phone whenever it beeoed, asking who is calling or who im talking to whenever it rings, who is commenting on ur fbook, why did u respond ect and i never had an inappropriate relationship with anyone while he is the one who cheated. Im just so heartbroken, its not like he didnt leave a hole or I never wanted more in the relationship or he treated me perfectly but I stayed loyal. I just feel so sad

Oh OP - my blood is boiling and I don't even know you.
I'd also like to revise what I wrote earlier - I was trying to be "unbiased" but I have to say, I agree with the poster who observed that your husband was making everything about himself ... I'm embarrassed for him. You married a narcissist and I'm so sorry. And if you were older, you'd know his unbridled jealousy is a big red flag ... it's often a trait of cheaters because they know what they're capable of themselves... and you wouldn't know this unless you learned the hard way or knew somebody else it happened to, so DON'T beat yourself up for not seeing it, I beg you. While I know it's said that problems are never 100% one person's fault, I'd say in this instance, your husband is close to earning the dubious distinction.

Trust in your goodness.

Thank you, i just feel so sad as I could have never imagined that, he told me over and over how everyone cheated on him, played victim all the time and said i was emotionally abusive or gadlighting him whenever i disagreed or refused to do something. He would call my family to say im chatting with guys, even though these were childhood friends, tell his mom about our arguments, call my cousin, my family n tell them how bad i was even though im a cery private person and eventually hes the one who cheated, im just broken

Amazing, huh? He accused you of being emotionally abusive and gas lighting... that's more than simple hypocrisy, it's delusional at best. I get that you're sad though - it's the death of something - but the last post I read before writing this suggested that you look as this as a blessing and to thank your Guardian Angel ... you won't see it yet but he has shown his true colors early and I couldn't agree with that poster more.

He sounds so destructive that I wouldn't put it past him to hurt you physically - wouldn't surprise me at all. Do whatever you need to be safe, OP - Mind, Body and Soul...

Yes, i am sad because i invested 2 years of my life into it and he has been smearing my name to his family, mother, siblings and friends. None of them knows he cheated on me, he told them i was emotionally abusive, rejecting him and didnt appreciate him. So im hurt that so many people dont know the full truth and are judging me for it. Also, since i discovered the affair, he acts like im scum and has so much hate for me, that im second guessing myself wondering if maybe im the one to blame, maybe i didnt do enough. He leaves home early and gets home at 11pm or midnight. I go to physical therapy and come home, locked in the bedroom all day as I have no friends and family around. Im just so broken and sad and i need to get a job so i can get out of the toxic environment

I wish you'd meet with a lawyer so that he/she can advise you of the best course of action. I'm not even talking about divorce - I'm talking about protecting yourself, your reputation, etc.. It's important to have all this documented. Plus, you'll have an advocate which will make you feel impowered and who can help you create a timeline and to set goals.

Do you trust anyone at PT to recommend a good lawyer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean he's right. You ignored him, left a hole and didn't even live in the same state. What on earth did you expect?

It was one time when you were treating him badly for an extended period of time. Could youvreally not have done better?
Have him tested for std’s, go to counseling and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean he's right. You ignored him, left a hole and didn't even live in the same state. What on earth did you expect?

It was one time when you were treating him badly for an extended period of time. Could youvreally not have done better?
Have him tested for std’s, go to counseling and move on.

Not sure what ure referring to, as soon as i fond out he was cheating he presented me with divorce papers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just based on what you wrote I can see why he cheated. Read it again, and maybe you will see why.

Hint: you treated him like shit for 6 months....

It's a flimsy reason on any scale. While I'm not saying your circumstances completely excuse your behavior, OP, I would NOT discount the combination of accident, recovery, narcotics, a move, etc. etc. etc. In a very short time, you've had to deal with a number of HUGE issues. While your husband may have had his feelings hurt, I'm not sure he was there enough for you either. And six months? Are you KIDDING me? Did you two include the "for better or for worse" bit in your vows? Are you telling me that he gave it six months of trying harder than you (or not) and this justifies his cheating? NEGATIVE.

I'm very sorry and i hope you can both move past this in time but you BOTH need to be honest about your parts, your expectations and needs. But please don't take this on as you being the villian - he made an incredibly selfish and cowardly move. Nothing you have done or said excuses his cheating - the question is, will he be man enough to admit it and work with you to restore and grow your marriage.

Praying for you both <3

We’ve been married for 14 months, he looked for a job here didnt find one, he convinced me to move to his state. I quit my job to move in June and the accident happened, i broke my knee. Lost my independence overnight, in a new state, no friends ir family, and in just 4 months of finally living under the same roof he cheats? N is not even sorry he yelled at me and said it was my fault that he cheated, that im the one to blame, and presented me with divorce papers. I was so heartbroken, i just signed the papers, as I dont want anything from him, no alimony nothing. The irony is, the whole time weve been together, he was the one checking my phone whenever it beeoed, asking who is calling or who im talking to whenever it rings, who is commenting on ur fbook, why did u respond ect and i never had an inappropriate relationship with anyone while he is the one who cheated. Im just so heartbroken, its not like he didnt leave a hole or I never wanted more in the relationship or he treated me perfectly but I stayed loyal. I just feel so sad

Oh OP - my blood is boiling and I don't even know you.
I'd also like to revise what I wrote earlier - I was trying to be "unbiased" but I have to say, I agree with the poster who observed that your husband was making everything about himself ... I'm embarrassed for him. You married a narcissist and I'm so sorry. And if you were older, you'd know his unbridled jealousy is a big red flag ... it's often a trait of cheaters because they know what they're capable of themselves... and you wouldn't know this unless you learned the hard way or knew somebody else it happened to, so DON'T beat yourself up for not seeing it, I beg you. While I know it's said that problems are never 100% one person's fault, I'd say in this instance, your husband is close to earning the dubious distinction.

Trust in your goodness.

Thank you, i just feel so sad as I could have never imagined that, he told me over and over how everyone cheated on him, played victim all the time and said i was emotionally abusive or gadlighting him whenever i disagreed or refused to do something. He would call my family to say im chatting with guys, even though these were childhood friends, tell his mom about our arguments, call my cousin, my family n tell them how bad i was even though im a cery private person and eventually hes the one who cheated, im just broken

Amazing, huh? He accused you of being emotionally abusive and gas lighting... that's more than simple hypocrisy, it's delusional at best. I get that you're sad though - it's the death of something - but the last post I read before writing this suggested that you look as this as a blessing and to thank your Guardian Angel ... you won't see it yet but he has shown his true colors early and I couldn't agree with that poster more.

He sounds so destructive that I wouldn't put it past him to hurt you physically - wouldn't surprise me at all. Do whatever you need to be safe, OP - Mind, Body and Soul...

Yes, i am sad because i invested 2 years of my life into it and he has been smearing my name to his family, mother, siblings and friends. None of them knows he cheated on me, he told them i was emotionally abusive, rejecting him and didnt appreciate him. So im hurt that so many people dont know the full truth and are judging me for it. Also, since i discovered the affair, he acts like im scum and has so much hate for me, that im second guessing myself wondering if maybe im the one to blame, maybe i didnt do enough. He leaves home early and gets home at 11pm or midnight. I go to physical therapy and come home, locked in the bedroom all day as I have no friends and family around. Im just so broken and sad and i need to get a job so i can get out of the toxic environment

I wish you'd meet with a lawyer so that he/she can advise you of the best course of action. I'm not even talking about divorce - I'm talking about protecting yourself, your reputation, etc.. It's important to have all this documented. Plus, you'll have an advocate which will make you feel impowered and who can help you create a timeline and to set goals.

Do you trust anyone at PT to recommend a good lawyer?

Its a simple divorce, no assets or kids in common, no lawyer needed, it will sort of be like an annulment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him, cut all contact and run as fast as you can from this seriously weak character.

You are in a serious car accident and his reaction is poor me, my needs are not being met.

Seriously DO NOT HAVE KIDS with this poor excuse for a human.

Imagine having cancer or a child with cancer. This man will only be worried about his own needs.

FFS, get out.

Thats what im thinking, im just heartbroken, i left everything to move and be with him and when im at my lowest he presented me with divorce papers. Now i have to look for a job to move back to my old state and im still not 100% recovered from the accident

You can look at it as a heart break, I lost everything or you can think your guardian angel showed you who he really is before you had children so you can go back home and be happy.

It's a gift. Embrace your new life.

My brain gets that, but i still feel so depressed and dumb for quitting my job and everything to follow him

Your heart and your head will sync with time. Your head can turn on a dime, the heart changes courses slowly like a ship... Follow your head and your heart will catch up.

I just dont understand how its fair he can cheat and find someone and be happy while im the one who got hurt. How can it work out for him when hes been the ass.hole, how is that fair?