He cheated

[Anonymous]

Ive been recovering from a car accident since june, was on narcos, depressed and quit my job to move to a new state to join my husband . I probably wasn’t the best wife, i ignored him many times when he said he needed me or wanted to spend time with me as I had so much going on in my head and felt disconnected from him. I found out a few days ago that he’s been having an affair for a month and he didn’t even say sorry, if anything he was angry, yelling at me telling me i left a hole that someone else filled, i neglected him and someone else grabbed him, he said they had sex once and im just so devastated. I would have never imagined being cheated on by him, as we talked about cheating so much at the beginning of our relationship because his ex cheated on him and left him broken. We promised each other that we would never do that ever, but not only did he do it but he is telling me it is my fault and then he presented me with divorce papers saying I have been emotionally abusive to him the entire marriage and he is done. Im so depressed and just feel empty!

[Anonymous]

Just based on what you wrote I can see why he cheated. Read it again, and maybe you will see why.

Hint: you treated him like shit for 6 months....

[Anonymous]

Dump him, cut all contact and run as fast as you can from this seriously weak character.

You are in a serious car accident and his reaction is poor me, my needs are not being met.

Seriously DO NOT HAVE KIDS with this poor excuse for a human.

Imagine having cancer or a child with cancer. This man will only be worried about his own needs.

FFS, get out.

[Anonymous]

Time to talk to a lawyer. If he wanted to leave he should have left without cheating.

[Anonymous]

I mean he's right. You ignored him, left a hole and didn't even live in the same state. What on earth did you expect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just based on what you wrote I can see why he cheated. Read it again, and maybe you will see why.

Hint: you treated him like shit for 6 months....

It's a flimsy reason on any scale. While I'm not saying your circumstances completely excuse your behavior, OP, I would NOT discount the combination of accident, recovery, narcotics, a move, etc. etc. etc. In a very short time, you've had to deal with a number of HUGE issues. While your husband may have had his feelings hurt, I'm not sure he was there enough for you either. And six months? Are you KIDDING me? Did you two include the "for better or for worse" bit in your vows? Are you telling me that he gave it six months of trying harder than you (or not) and this justifies his cheating? NEGATIVE.

I'm very sorry and i hope you can both move past this in time but you BOTH need to be honest about your parts, your expectations and needs. But please don't take this on as you being the villian - he made an incredibly selfish and cowardly move. Nothing you have done or said excuses his cheating - the question is, will he be man enough to admit it and work with you to restore and grow your marriage.

Praying for you both <3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean he's right. You ignored him, left a hole and didn't even live in the same state. What on earth did you expect?

We live in the same state, like i said i quit my job to move to his state and the accident happened. I was bedbound, on wheelchair and crutches for months, still cant walk normally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time to talk to a lawyer. If he wanted to leave he should have left without cheating.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean he's right. You ignored him, left a hole and didn't even live in the same state. What on earth did you expect?

We live in the same state, like i said i quit my job to move to his state and the accident happened. I was bedbound, on wheelchair and crutches for months, still cant walk normally

Don't take the bait, OP - these mean spirited posts tend to be trolls who are incapable of empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dump him, cut all contact and run as fast as you can from this seriously weak character.

You are in a serious car accident and his reaction is poor me, my needs are not being met.

Seriously DO NOT HAVE KIDS with this poor excuse for a human.

Imagine having cancer or a child with cancer. This man will only be worried about his own needs.

FFS, get out.

Thats what im thinking, im just heartbroken, i left everything to move and be with him and when im at my lowest he presented me with divorce papers. Now i have to look for a job to move back to my old state and im still not 100% recovered from the accident

[Anonymous]

How did you find out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just based on what you wrote I can see why he cheated. Read it again, and maybe you will see why.

Hint: you treated him like shit for 6 months....

It's a flimsy reason on any scale. While I'm not saying your circumstances completely excuse your behavior, OP, I would NOT discount the combination of accident, recovery, narcotics, a move, etc. etc. etc. In a very short time, you've had to deal with a number of HUGE issues. While your husband may have had his feelings hurt, I'm not sure he was there enough for you either. And six months? Are you KIDDING me? Did you two include the "for better or for worse" bit in your vows? Are you telling me that he gave it six months of trying harder than you (or not) and this justifies his cheating? NEGATIVE.

I'm very sorry and i hope you can both move past this in time but you BOTH need to be honest about your parts, your expectations and needs. But please don't take this on as you being the villian - he made an incredibly selfish and cowardly move. Nothing you have done or said excuses his cheating - the question is, will he be man enough to admit it and work with you to restore and grow your marriage.

Praying for you both <3

We’ve been married for 14 months, he looked for a job here didnt find one, he convinced me to move to his state. I quit my job to move in June and the accident happened, i broke my knee. Lost my independence overnight, in a new state, no friends ir family, and in just 4 months of finally living under the same roof he cheats? N is not even sorry he yelled at me and said it was my fault that he cheated, that im the one to blame, and presented me with divorce papers. I was so heartbroken, i just signed the papers, as I dont want anything from him, no alimony nothing. The irony is, the whole time weve been together, he was the one checking my phone whenever it beeoed, asking who is calling or who im talking to whenever it rings, who is commenting on ur fbook, why did u respond ect and i never had an inappropriate relationship with anyone while he is the one who cheated. Im just so heartbroken, its not like he didnt leave a hole or I never wanted more in the relationship or he treated me perfectly but I stayed loyal. I just feel so sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you find out?

I saw fbook chats with the OW where they were describing sexual fantasies, f*ing and talking about me how i was a bad wife and how the OW was great and amazing. Confrontted him, he screamed at me and blamed me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just based on what you wrote I can see why he cheated. Read it again, and maybe you will see why.

Hint: you treated him like shit for 6 months....

It's a flimsy reason on any scale. While I'm not saying your circumstances completely excuse your behavior, OP, I would NOT discount the combination of accident, recovery, narcotics, a move, etc. etc. etc. In a very short time, you've had to deal with a number of HUGE issues. While your husband may have had his feelings hurt, I'm not sure he was there enough for you either. And six months? Are you KIDDING me? Did you two include the "for better or for worse" bit in your vows? Are you telling me that he gave it six months of trying harder than you (or not) and this justifies his cheating? NEGATIVE.

I'm very sorry and i hope you can both move past this in time but you BOTH need to be honest about your parts, your expectations and needs. But please don't take this on as you being the villian - he made an incredibly selfish and cowardly move. Nothing you have done or said excuses his cheating - the question is, will he be man enough to admit it and work with you to restore and grow your marriage.

Praying for you both <3

We’ve been married for 14 months, he looked for a job here didnt find one, he convinced me to move to his state. I quit my job to move in June and the accident happened, i broke my knee. Lost my independence overnight, in a new state, no friends ir family, and in just 4 months of finally living under the same roof he cheats? N is not even sorry he yelled at me and said it was my fault that he cheated, that im the one to blame, and presented me with divorce papers. I was so heartbroken, i just signed the papers, as I dont want anything from him, no alimony nothing. The irony is, the whole time weve been together, he was the one checking my phone whenever it beeoed, asking who is calling or who im talking to whenever it rings, who is commenting on ur fbook, why did u respond ect and i never had an inappropriate relationship with anyone while he is the one who cheated. Im just so heartbroken, its not like he didnt leave a hole or I never wanted more in the relationship or he treated me perfectly but I stayed loyal. I just feel so sad

Oh OP - my blood is boiling and I don't even know you.
I'd also like to revise what I wrote earlier - I was trying to be "unbiased" but I have to say, I agree with the poster who observed that your husband was making everything about himself ... I'm embarrassed for him. You married a narcissist and I'm so sorry. And if you were older, you'd know his unbridled jealousy is a big red flag ... it's often a trait of cheaters because they know what they're capable of themselves... and you wouldn't know this unless you learned the hard way or knew somebody else it happened to, so DON'T beat yourself up for not seeing it, I beg you. While I know it's said that problems are never 100% one person's fault, I'd say in this instance, your husband is close to earning the dubious distinction.

Trust in your goodness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just based on what you wrote I can see why he cheated. Read it again, and maybe you will see why.

Hint: you treated him like shit for 6 months....

It's a flimsy reason on any scale. While I'm not saying your circumstances completely excuse your behavior, OP, I would NOT discount the combination of accident, recovery, narcotics, a move, etc. etc. etc. In a very short time, you've had to deal with a number of HUGE issues. While your husband may have had his feelings hurt, I'm not sure he was there enough for you either. And six months? Are you KIDDING me? Did you two include the "for better or for worse" bit in your vows? Are you telling me that he gave it six months of trying harder than you (or not) and this justifies his cheating? NEGATIVE.

I'm very sorry and i hope you can both move past this in time but you BOTH need to be honest about your parts, your expectations and needs. But please don't take this on as you being the villian - he made an incredibly selfish and cowardly move. Nothing you have done or said excuses his cheating - the question is, will he be man enough to admit it and work with you to restore and grow your marriage.

Praying for you both <3

We’ve been married for 14 months, he looked for a job here didnt find one, he convinced me to move to his state. I quit my job to move in June and the accident happened, i broke my knee. Lost my independence overnight, in a new state, no friends ir family, and in just 4 months of finally living under the same roof he cheats? N is not even sorry he yelled at me and said it was my fault that he cheated, that im the one to blame, and presented me with divorce papers. I was so heartbroken, i just signed the papers, as I dont want anything from him, no alimony nothing. The irony is, the whole time weve been together, he was the one checking my phone whenever it beeoed, asking who is calling or who im talking to whenever it rings, who is commenting on ur fbook, why did u respond ect and i never had an inappropriate relationship with anyone while he is the one who cheated. Im just so heartbroken, its not like he didnt leave a hole or I never wanted more in the relationship or he treated me perfectly but I stayed loyal. I just feel so sad

Oh OP - my blood is boiling and I don't even know you.
I'd also like to revise what I wrote earlier - I was trying to be "unbiased" but I have to say, I agree with the poster who observed that your husband was making everything about himself ... I'm embarrassed for him. You married a narcissist and I'm so sorry. And if you were older, you'd know his unbridled jealousy is a big red flag ... it's often a trait of cheaters because they know what they're capable of themselves... and you wouldn't know this unless you learned the hard way or knew somebody else it happened to, so DON'T beat yourself up for not seeing it, I beg you. While I know it's said that problems are never 100% one person's fault, I'd say in this instance, your husband is close to earning the dubious distinction.

Trust in your goodness.

Thank you, i just feel so sad as I could have never imagined that, he told me over and over how everyone cheated on him, played victim all the time and said i was emotionally abusive or gadlighting him whenever i disagreed or refused to do something. He would call my family to say im chatting with guys, even though these were childhood friends, tell his mom about our arguments, call my cousin, my family n tell them how bad i was even though im a cery private person and eventually hes the one who cheated, im just broken