Talking with DH about concerns re new extreme diet

[Anonymous]

Sounds like intermittent fasting. He will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I drink coffee until 5 pm. Two years, quite sustainable. Only eat during the day on Saturdays. Daytime intake gives me an uncomfortable feeling of fullness and makes me cranky. My life is so much better when I eat less. I am happier and healthier.

This is classic disordered thinking. You have an eating disorder, and I hope you can get the medical and mental health assistance you need.
Peace to you.

No it isn’t. What OP’s DH does and what the above poster does are a variation of intermittent fasting. Americans have normalized obesity inducing diets that anything less or different is considered disordered eating.

Italians usually have an espresso for breakfast, a small lunch, and a large dinner. The concept of a big breakfast comes from the old days when most people farmed and did a lot of physical labor very early in the morning. And even then the very early morning breakfast was small; the second breakfast after morning farm chores was the big breakfast many Americans now eat (eggs and bacon and toast and milk etc) that they think is healthy but is not. Yo know because they are lazy - they aren’t doing farm work and most aren’t exercising either.

I’ve been on a ketogenic paleo diet for years. I usually have only coffee in the morning because I’m not hungry, and I don’t really get hungry until 2. My body has adapted to have the capability of metabolizing fat efficiently. Most Americans think eating 3 meals plus snacking in between is a good idea because they are actually addicted to sugar and their bodies cannot metabolize fat efficiently. (Which means that their bodies don’t access fat stores in the body for energy). That is why they are fat, and that is disordered eating.

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing. Every single person posting here is convinced they have THE RIGHT WAY TO EAT.

Okay, so your husband has come up with a kind of illogical way to diet. It's not the end of the world. He's trying to do something about his weight.

I also see an issue here with you too, frankly. You need to stop trying to control him all the time. He's not your child. Step back, because part of having an eating disorder is trying to control EVERYONE's eating, all the time.

Let this run its course. When he's tired of it or realizes it's not working, if he asks for advice, you can offer it. Otherwise, it's not your problem. Is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What prompted this change in him? Did he have a health scare, or see a relative get sick? Did he see a picture of himself that upset him?

I know this is a DCUM cliche, but I’ve seen this rodeo play out multiple times, and very often there is another woman involved, even if he’s not sleeping with her. It could just be someone who is giving him attention that he’s enjoying and would like to impress.

The sudden change in diet, commitment to esthetic goals, and newfound spring in his step all point to this sort of thing.

I was thinking another woman inspired this diet, also.

Me three. A few years ago I got a crush on someone and I immediately went on a diet, started exercising and lost 55 lbs that I had been struggling to lose for ages. That would explain his “new high” as well.

[Anonymous]

He is doing a version of intermittent fasting, which has benefits and isn't dangerous. It isn't recommended for people with a history of eating disorders, and so it may not be a great way of eating to have in your household - you could tell him that it makes you uncomfortable for that reason. But there is no reason he shouldn't do it if he wants. He might find it is more sustainable if he only does it during the week and eats three meals on the weekend. The small snacks through out the day has drawbacks, including constant temptation to eat more than you planned and keeping insulin high. If it doesn't make you too uncomfortable I would leave him alone to manage on his own.

[Anonymous]

Sounds fine. He is having breakfast and dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small meals throughout the day keep insulin levels high, and will make you fat.

Sounds like 16/8 fasting which holds some promise to improve health and reduce diabetes risk

This! You are kind and loving to be concerned. I suggest you should do some research yourself on intermittent fasting and encourage him to meet with a nutritionist. I realize it can be hard for you because of your sensitivity re your own ED but there is much evidence that IF is healthy if done correctly. There is a 5/2 plan or 16hr/8 hr. It sounds like he is not doing either which may be fine but it may be more effective or healthy to follow an established IF diet. If he did 16/8 he would eat breakfast and big lunch and then fast until next morning and maybe decide to have 1 cheat day weekly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He isn’t eating nothing except dinner. That AM smoothie sounds packed with calories. I wouldn’t worry at all. Peanut butter, protein powder, etc.? This not not worse, frankly better than the old slim fast diets.

I agree. And he may not need to do it longer than four weeks. Say he loses 10-20 pounds in four weeks. After that he can start eating more normally, but continue cutting to lose at a slower pace. Some people need to see an initial major loss to stay motivated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has done this for years, so it is sustainable. It’s not the best way to cause your hormones to cycle, but it will work as long as he does it. You are flat out wrong to think eating all day long is better.

I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Your husband's diet sounds perfectly healthy to me, especially given that nutrition-packed breakfast and the fact that he is not really denying himself specific foods.

You need to deal with your own issues op but not interfere with DH's perfectly reasonable choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds fine. He is having breakfast and dinner.

Agree with this. I skip lunch most days myself. It may not be an ideal way to eat, but I don't think it's so far off that it requires an intervention.

[Anonymous]

I think you are projecting your own issues to him and aren’t qualified to know what he should eat instead. Sounds like he’s getting plenty of calories. You should stay out of it. I have no idea whether it’s good for weight loss - I’m no expert either- but doesn’t sound dangerous at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I drink coffee until 5 pm. Two years, quite sustainable. Only eat during the day on Saturdays. Daytime intake gives me an uncomfortable feeling of fullness and makes me cranky. My life is so much better when I eat less. I am happier and healthier.

This is classic disordered thinking. You have an eating disorder, and I hope you can get the medical and mental health assistance you need.
Peace to you.

No it isn’t. What OP’s DH does and what the above poster does are a variation of intermittent fasting. Americans have normalized obesity inducing diets that anything less or different is considered disordered eating.

Italians usually have an espresso for breakfast, a small lunch, and a large dinner. The concept of a big breakfast comes from the old days when most people farmed and did a lot of physical labor very early in the morning. And even then the very early morning breakfast was small; the second breakfast after morning farm chores was the big breakfast many Americans now eat (eggs and bacon and toast and milk etc) that they think is healthy but is not. Yo know because they are lazy - they aren’t doing farm work and most aren’t exercising either.

I’ve been on a ketogenic paleo diet for years. I usually have only coffee in the morning because I’m not hungry, and I don’t really get hungry until 2. My body has adapted to have the capability of metabolizing fat efficiently. Most Americans think eating 3 meals plus snacking in between is a good idea because they are actually addicted to sugar and their bodies cannot metabolize fat efficiently. (Which means that their bodies don’t access fat stores in the body for energy). That is why they are fat, and that is disordered eating.

Agree. When I went to visit my grandparents in India, I was shocked at how little they ate, even though they stayed very active, even in old age. They were fit and trim, and much smaller than my mom who moved to the U.S. in her 30’s and ate a more American sugar-laden diet.

[Anonymous]

This is no different than what men have to put up with since the beginning of time. Let it go. You sound a little resentful, to be honest.

(Woman)

[Anonymous]

My brother only eats one meal a day, dinner, and has been doing it for 25-30 years. It works for him and he’s very healthy - has to have annual physicals for work.

We’re all different, so it makes sense that the same “diet” doesn’t work for all.