Men: why are so many of you seemingly turned on by virginity?

[Anonymous]

I can kind of understand people who don't want their partner to have had a lot of other partners because they feel it cheapens the experience. I have done sexual things with DH that I've never done with any of my prior partners, and he definitely thought that made those things extra sexy. I don't think that applies to men who just want to generally sleep with virgins because it's not about cheapening the relationship or the experience. It's just about going where no one else has gone before, and that is arousing for the same reason that any kind of exploration is.

[Anonymous]

I have never had a man turn me down because I wasn't a virgin. They are always very willing participants if I'm interested

This is the stupidest thread ever.

[Anonymous]

Normal men aren't. I don't know a single couple in which either party was a virgin when they got together. And my single male friends are in their 30s and aren't looking for (1) teenagers, or (2) people who somehow made it out of college as virgins. They are looking for peers.

[Anonymous]

31yo DH happily together 13 yrs and in swinging relationship...
ZERO Interest in a virgin.
Never had one and never want one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not. And until recently, I assumed that most modern men did not care. But I've become aware of "Red Pill" like forums where men seem obsessed with their (non-existent) girlfriends' "not being a slut."

I think it's mostly rooted in jealousy and assumptions about how women seemly get to go through life being sexually desired and pursued while most dudes have to work at it and deal with rejection and feeling like losers. In some cases, a man is from a culture where "virginity" is an issue, but I doubt that's the case at "Red Pill."

The men who post in those forums and are hung up on this are generally not sexually (or socially) active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the misogyny runs a little deeper than women seem to think. It's not just that the woman means little to the man & he's using her for his own pleasure. He's using her to score in his competition with other men. Social status depends not only on how many women he has sex with but also on the perceived difficulty of having sex with her.

This is true, but this can still be true even if the woman is not a virgin. Most men I know have an ideal of a lightly sexually experienced woman, 2-5 prior partners perhaps and no a non-slut reputation. But the classic freak in the sheets and lady in the streets can't really be achieved with a virgin, who has zero sexual experience.

There's a huge double standard here, too. My millennial-aged, relatively "enlightened" BF has a problem with my number, which is only slightly higher than his, and includes women, as I'm bi. I don't get it. Here's a highly educated guy, sensitive, intellectual, generally thoughtful, and yet it's a real hang up for him.

ICK. Yellow flag, PP. Esp if you are Bi ....I am too....my ex decided after a while that my sexual orientation was "too much" for him and eventually was threatened by it and my number. My current partner is male as well and when I tell him stuff all he LOOVES it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the misogyny runs a little deeper than women seem to think. It's not just that the woman means little to the man & he's using her for his own pleasure. He's using her to score in his competition with other men. Social status depends not only on how many women he has sex with but also on the perceived difficulty of having sex with her.

This is true, but this can still be true even if the woman is not a virgin. Most men I know have an ideal of a lightly sexually experienced woman, 2-5 prior partners perhaps and no a non-slut reputation. But the classic freak in the sheets and lady in the streets can't really be achieved with a virgin, who has zero sexual experience.

There's a huge double standard here, too. My millennial-aged, relatively "enlightened" BF has a problem with my number, which is only slightly higher than his, and includes women, as I'm bi. I don't get it. Here's a highly educated guy, sensitive, intellectual, generally thoughtful, and yet it's a real hang up for him.

ICK. Yellow flag, PP. Esp if you are Bi ....I am too....my ex decided after a while that my sexual orientation was "too much" for him and eventually was threatened by it and my number. My current partner is male as well and when I tell him stuff all he LOOVES it.

He wasn't threatened, don't flatter yourself. He disliked it and did not consider you wife/life partner material. Hopefully your current bf will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not and I don't know a single man that is. I'm finished teaching women how to have orgasms. I'm? keeping my current lady for life

That's awesome. However it seems hot to me to teach a lady how to O.

That said, I take responsibility for my own Os when I'm with a guy. I know they won't just happen without my uh, moving things along myself.

[Anonymous]

Man here. Some of my friends like it, some don't want it at all.

The reason it's a turn-on is the woman is unspoiled and new. The same reason people like new cars instead of used cars I guess. I had a friend (ok we dated for a while) and she told me in her younger wild years, she went into the men's room of a nightclub and had sex with 15 guys in a row. Now, how many guys want to imagine their girlfriend/wife being that person?

Also, a woman can have only one first time, so it's a nice feeling to know you're the one.

On the negative side, it means they have no experience, and also the first time, it may be more pain than pleasure and that's no fun.

[Anonymous]

I said this in the other thread but I’d be worried about physical abuse in this situation. A man who pays you 3M to have sex is most likely not going to be satisfied with the standard positions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never had a man turn me down because I wasn't a virgin. They are always very willing participants if I'm interested

This is the stupidest thread ever.

Uh huh. And has anyone ever offered to pay you three million dollars to ha e sex with you? I thought not. Clearly this is an unusual situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Some of my friends like it, some don't want it at all.

The reason it's a turn-on is the woman is unspoiled and new. The same reason people like new cars instead of used cars I guess. I had a friend (ok we dated for a while) and she told me in her younger wild years, she went into the men's room of a nightclub and had sex with 15 guys in a row. Now, how many guys want to imagine their girlfriend/wife being that person?

Also, a woman can have only one first time, so it's a nice feeling to know you're the one.

On the negative side, it means they have no experience, and also the first time, it may be more pain than pleasure and that's no fun.

Um, a man can also only have one first time

???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Some of my friends like it, some don't want it at all.

The reason it's a turn-on is the woman is unspoiled and new. The same reason people like new cars instead of used cars I guess. I had a friend (ok we dated for a while) and she told me in her younger wild years, she went into the men's room of a nightclub and had sex with 15 guys in a row. Now, how many guys want to imagine their girlfriend/wife being that person?

Also, a woman can have only one first time, so it's a nice feeling to know you're the one.

On the negative side, it means they have no experience, and also the first time, it may be more pain than pleasure and that's no fun.

I don't think anyone wants to imagine their spouse being the person who had sex with 15 people in a men's room. I think there's a meaningful difference between having sex with 15 people generally and the situation you describe. I can't imagine what erotic experience would be learned in the men's room situation that would result in a more experienced (and therefore better) partner later on. I also think that what you describe is well outside the norms of normal sexual promiscuity.

I do not personally understand why it's a nice feeling to know that you were the one who had bad sex that was painful for your partner. What a lovely memory! I lost my virginity to my high school boyfriend, and I don't remember it as a magical experience. Just something that hurt, that was awkward, and that I eventually got better at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't true of most men. But some will want the ego boost of being the first one and "breaking new ground."

My poor high school BF did not enjoy taking mine....it was extremely painful and took multiple attempts.

Me too. I only later learned that this is somewhat common. I thought there must be something g wrong with my physically because it was so painful. I cringe every time I think about how awful that was. I still feel bad for him. It was his first time too and I know he felt bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Some of my friends like it, some don't want it at all.

The reason it's a turn-on is the woman is unspoiled and new. The same reason people like new cars instead of used cars I guess. I had a friend (ok we dated for a while) and she told me in her younger wild years, she went into the men's room of a nightclub and had sex with 15 guys in a row. Now, how many guys want to imagine their girlfriend/wife being that person?

Also, a woman can have only one first time, so it's a nice feeling to know you're the one.

On the negative side, it means they have no experience, and also the first time, it may be more pain than pleasure and that's no fun.

Um, a man can also only have one first time

???

It's different. I bet most women remember their first time much more than for men. It's a bigger deal. You know that woman will remember you forever, even 30 or 40 years later. She's going to remember her #1, but not necessarily #5 or #8.

If you ever saw the move Kids, there's a famous quote in the movie about it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113540/quotes/qt0230440