If you respect and admire your husband I envy you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sympathize. I am dying to know though, what is the job??

Private investigator.

Whenever we go to a dinner party he’s a hit. Everyone asks him questions but it’s not due to respect. It’s more of an amused incredulous fascination.

To be fair he is very very good at his job. When I attend his work events and see the respect and admiration his colleagues have for him, I definitely get turned on. But every one else thinks he is climbing trees and taking pictures of people having affairs.

How do you know they're amused in a laughing at him kind of way instead of just amused/interested? I think I'd like to sit next to him at a dinner party and hear his stories. A lot of jobs are interesting to the people who do them but the work itself is not always something that other people want to hear about. Being a private investigator is one of those jobs that is interesting to all though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I respect and admire my husband very much. His ambition and intelligence were some of the things that attracted me to him in the first place. He built a billion dollar business from scratch. He had some help obviously but he did most of the work himself. Not many people can say that (including me) and I genuinely admire it.

Even YOU can't say that? Wow.

But back to OP - OP, I admire and respect my husband very much some days/moments. Other times he does or says things and I'm like "really?"

One thing I have observed is that it's very easy for perception to shift based on context. I am sure your DH is good at something. Do you get to observe him in situations where he shines? You might not see him in those contexts often enough. As an example, my DH is a professor. I rarely see him giving seminars or teaching, but when I do it usually turns me on to be reminded of his strengths!

Come off it. She didn't say "even her" she said "including her"

MOST people have not built a billion dollar business on their own. Including you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sympathize. I am dying to know though, what is the job??

Private investigator.

Whenever we go to a dinner party he’s a hit. Everyone asks him questions but it’s not due to respect. It’s more of an amused incredulous fascination.

To be fair he is very very good at his job. When I attend his work events and see the respect and admiration his colleagues have for him, I definitely get turned on. But every one else thinks he is climbing trees and taking pictures of people having affairs.

But being a private investigator sounds really fascinating. I'm sure everyone asks him questions because they're interested. You're take that they are laughing at him somehow is, well, just weird. I'm guessing they're not at all. He's got an interesting job and maybe he tells great stories and people like talking to him about his job.

I think this is in your head and I would try to figure out why.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's his job that's keeping you from respecting and admiring him, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is a great guy but he’s kind of a lightweight. He has a funny job that people make fun of him for and he doesn’t really have any gravitas or status in our social circle.

I see friends who admire and respect their husbands and their opinions and I wish I had that. I feel that I can’t trust his judgement. He’s not serious enough.

What's your impressive job? How much gravitas or status do you have in your social circle? How much more $$ do you make than your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is a great guy but he’s kind of a lightweight. He has a funny job that people make fun of him for and he doesn’t really have any gravitas or status in our social circle.

I see friends who admire and respect their husbands and their opinions and I wish I had that. I feel that I can’t trust his judgement. He’s not serious enough.

What's your impressive job? How much gravitas or status do you have in your social circle? How much more $$ do you make than your husband?

I work at State. No mean to brag but it is an “impressive” DC job. I don’t make much but I do have status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is a great guy but he’s kind of a lightweight. He has a funny job that people make fun of him for and he doesn’t really have any gravitas or status in our social circle.

I see friends who admire and respect their husbands and their opinions and I wish I had that. I feel that I can’t trust his judgement. He’s not serious enough.

What's your impressive job? How much gravitas or status do you have in your social circle? How much more $$ do you make than your husband?

I work at State. No mean to brag but it is an “impressive” DC job. I don’t make much but I do have status.

I mean I get it but then if status matters to you (and that’s ok - imo the best thing a person can do for themselves is to be honest in their own mind about what they really want out of life), why did you marry a private investigator instead of someone with a more impressive career?

[Anonymous]

I respect and admire the hell out of my husband. He is one of the smartest, most capable people I know and I'm pretty sure all my friends think this as well. He has built a multi-million dollar business. (Can't go billions like a PP!)

In other news, he works all the time and I don't get to spend very much time with him. So that sucks.

Grass is always greener OP. I'd like to sit next to your DH at dinner. I'd ask a lot of questions and would be genuinely interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is a great guy but he’s kind of a lightweight. He has a funny job that people make fun of him for and he doesn’t really have any gravitas or status in our social circle.

I see friends who admire and respect their husbands and their opinions and I wish I had that. I feel that I can’t trust his judgement. He’s not serious enough.

What's your impressive job? How much gravitas or status do you have in your social circle? How much more $$ do you make than your husband?

I work at State. No mean to brag but it is an “impressive” DC job. I don’t make much but I do have status.

I mean I get it but then if status matters to you (and that’s ok - imo the best thing a person can do for themselves is to be honest in their own mind about what they really want out of life), why did you marry a private investigator instead of someone with a more impressive career?

I love him.

I’m by no means a “career” digger. I wouldn’t marry a brain surgeon just because he’s a brain surgeon. While dating I met so many lawyers. And engineers with impressive credentials but we never clicked.

I’m in love with everything about my DH but his choice of a career grates on me some days. He can be so smart and his career is so...easy. All he does is dig dirt on people. He doesn’t require impressive thinking skills or credentials to get his job done. I value intelligence and drive very much. So I can’t help but keeep picking at it.

He has long hours and makes better money than many impressive careers. So there’s that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I respect and admire my husband very much. His ambition and intelligence were some of the things that attracted me to him in the first place. He built a billion dollar business from scratch. He had some help obviously but he did most of the work himself. Not many people can say that (including me) and I genuinely admire it.

Does this mean you are a billionaire? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

If you respect and admire your wife I envy you. Mine keeps clogging the bathtub drain with her hair. And she snores but blames me for snoring.

[Anonymous]

Status in a social circle?

I want a happy family and good friends. Everyone else can have fun swimming in their social circle. We didn't buy our dream home because of the neighborhood social circles and the overall pretentiousness of the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I respect and admire my husband very much. His ambition and intelligence were some of the things that attracted me to him in the first place. He built a billion dollar business from scratch. He had some help obviously but he did most of the work himself. Not many people can say that (including me) and I genuinely admire it.

Does this mean you are a billionaire? Just curious.

This is probably gross, not net after he pays his staff, taxes, etc.

Or Melinda Gates has started posting on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I respect and admire my husband very much. His ambition and intelligence were some of the things that attracted me to him in the first place. He built a billion dollar business from scratch. He had some help obviously but he did most of the work himself. Not many people can say that (including me) and I genuinely admire it.

Does this mean you are a billionaire? Just curious.

This is probably gross, not net after he pays his staff, taxes, etc.

Or Melinda Gates has started posting on DCUM.

+ 1

She probably means that he came up with the idea, solicited investors, and the company has sales or whatever for that much etc.

[Anonymous]

WTF? Your DH's job is way cooler and more interesting than yours. People want to talk to him at parties because his job sounds actually fascinating. No one wants to talk to yet another person working in gov't, or attorney, or finance dude. They are probably laughing because you said your DH was funny/not serious.

what can't you trust your DH's judgment about? I don't trust people who are too serious, they are often bogged down in arcane thought patterns.