I'm a black woman, how should I wear my natural hair to attract a man? Straight vs braids vs "out"

[Anonymous]

Lol you have white men on here saying wear it natural and be you but they never dated a black woman with natural, coarse, dry hair. OP, wear it how you want but take care of your natural hair. If you do braids, you have to give your scalp a break and to breathe. It can be damaging for the roots. Weaves are damaging for the roots as well, so not all of the time. Straightening of the hair may require a lot of chemicals, so be careful. Moisturize your hair! African American hair tends to lack essential oils. Best of luck and stop changing yourself to attract a man. That is unattractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol you have white men on here saying wear it natural and be you but they never dated a black woman with natural, coarse, dry hair. OP, wear it how you want but take care of your natural hair. If you do braids, you have to give your scalp a break and to breathe. It can be damaging for the roots. Weaves are damaging for the roots as well, so not all of the time. Straightening of the hair may require a lot of chemicals, so be careful. Moisturize your hair! African American hair tends to lack essential oils. Best of luck and stop changing yourself to attract a man. That is unattractive.

White male here. I would love to date any of the lovely AA women I see around the city and so would most of my friends. But it's hard. White, Asian, and Hispanic women socialize at the predominately white bars in my neighborhood and they all try to catch my eye. If I look at them, even if they're not interested, they will at least hold eye contact and make conversation.

IME AA women overwhelmingly socialize in groups and go primarily to bars and clubs that are predominantly AA. And if I look at them or try to smile in a way that shows interest, 90% of the time, they will quickly look away or not even acknowledge my eye contact in the first place. And if they do acknowledge me and I try to talk to them, I will have to at some point explain that I do not have a fetish and then get quizzed on my politics. I understand why all of this is the way it is. I know American history. But it makes it all very hard for non-black men interested in black women. Men already have the pressure of having to approach women. Adding the racial mistrust hurdles just makes it all feel impossible.

[Anonymous]

Mixed woman here and as others have commented I got far more attention from men of all races after straightening my hair. Lots of people are giving pc answers on this thread, but I don't think it's the reality. In contrast, I did get many more compliments from women when my hair was curly, but I kind of think it's them trying to be pc/polite and perhaps because (mostly subconsciously) they perceive curly haired women to be less competition on the dating market.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mixed woman here and as others have commented I got far more attention from men of all races after straightening my hair. Lots of people are giving pc answers on this thread, but I don't think it's the reality. In contrast, I did get many more compliments from women when my hair was curly, but I kind of think it's them trying to be pc/polite and perhaps because (mostly subconsciously) they perceive curly haired women to be less competition on the dating market.

You sound like you felt very insecure with your curly hair and were projecting that onto other people. That is probably why men didn't approach you.

[Anonymous]

Please don't subject your beautiful hair to harsh treatment in the hope of snagging a guy. As someone else said, just take good care of your hair and style it however you're most comfortable. The men will come.

I think those past boyfriends are in your past for a good reason. Men, like women, have been socialized to associate negative traits with natural black hair. Don't fall for this and please don't perpetuate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong or right, I get more compliments when my hair is straight. I get told I look "hot" a lot more when it's straight.

This! Im Indian and I have curly hair, which is perfectly nice and doesn't look bad. When I blow it out, people go crazy with the compliments. It doesn't have to be some larger statement about your self-esteem or ethnicity. Most people just think it looks really nice. Put your best foot forward. Try it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mixed woman here and as others have commented I got far more attention from men of all races after straightening my hair. Lots of people are giving pc answers on this thread, but I don't think it's the reality. In contrast, I did get many more compliments from women when my hair was curly, but I kind of think it's them trying to be pc/polite and perhaps because (mostly subconsciously) they perceive curly haired women to be less competition on the dating market.

Nooooope. I LOVE curly hair. Artificially straightened hair? Not so much. If I could make my hair curlier, I would. But I'm not making it artificially curly. So I'm living with my 2b curls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mixed woman here and as others have commented I got far more attention from men of all races after straightening my hair. Lots of people are giving pc answers on this thread, but I don't think it's the reality. In contrast, I did get many more compliments from women when my hair was curly, but I kind of think it's them trying to be pc/polite and perhaps because (mostly subconsciously) they perceive curly haired women to be less competition on the dating market.

Wow, the last sentence of this post makes me sad. I’m white and have pretty straight hair and I love natural hair on black women—I think it looks so cool (an I went to high school in the 80s and my poor mother spent a fortune on perms for me)! But I always refrain from giving compliments because I don’t know how they will be taken. Guess I will stick with that policy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol you have white men on here saying wear it natural and be you but they never dated a black woman with natural, coarse, dry hair. OP, wear it how you want but take care of your natural hair. If you do braids, you have to give your scalp a break and to breathe. It can be damaging for the roots. Weaves are damaging for the roots as well, so not all of the time. Straightening of the hair may require a lot of chemicals, so be careful. Moisturize your hair! African American hair tends to lack essential oils. Best of luck and stop changing yourself to attract a man. That is unattractive.

If they are Jewish they may understand more than you think. I'm white and have horrible curly, frizzy hair. I always wear it in a bread and I don't believe in natural hair and would never give up my hair relaxer (though a new stylist is trying to convert me). If a man likes you he isn't going to care what style you wear your hair. (My hair has no concept of breathing except in the shower). Some men do get it. But, I agree, don't change yourself to attract a man.

[Anonymous]

I'm a kinky haired natural with a huge fro. I had no trouble finding dates and a husband.

Go with what you like and makes you comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mixed woman here and as others have commented I got far more attention from men of all races after straightening my hair. Lots of people are giving pc answers on this thread, but I don't think it's the reality. In contrast, I did get many more compliments from women when my hair was curly, but I kind of think it's them trying to be pc/polite and perhaps because (mostly subconsciously) they perceive curly haired women to be less competition on the dating market.

Wow, the last sentence of this post makes me sad. I’m white and have pretty straight hair and I love natural hair on black women—I think it looks so cool (an I went to high school in the 80s and my poor mother spent a fortune on perms for me)! But I always refrain from giving compliments because I don’t know how they will be taken. Guess I will stick with that policy.

Compliments are okay with m. Just don't touch or ask to touch.
Don't let pps fool you kinky/curly haired women get plenty of attention.

-kinky-curly haired married black lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have typically worn my hair in a bun for work, and loose on weekends. Past boyfriends would always comment they preferred my hair straight.

So should I wear it straight? I'm open to dating men of ALL races.

Men, do you prefer a black woman with bone straight hair, or the Afro curls?

I love my nappy curls and have no plans to relax my hair in the foreseeable future, but I am willing to become a straight haired natural if it means my love life may improve. I need help!

Do you style your natural hair?

I know many naturals with curls and kinks and they don't have any trouble finding dates. It might not be your hair, but your overall look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wear your hair the way YOU like it. Men shouldn't be telling you how to wear your hair, and attracting a man shouldn't be your motivation for doing your hair a certain way. You want a man who likes YOU - not who likes only a specific hair style.

This.

-a black woman who's had hair long and short, straight and natural, depending on MY preference

OP seems desperate and insecure I think that more than her hairstyle is impeding her love life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mixed woman here and as others have commented I got far more attention from men of all races after straightening my hair. Lots of people are giving pc answers on this thread, but I don't think it's the reality. In contrast, I did get many more compliments from women when my hair was curly, but I kind of think it's them trying to be pc/polite and perhaps because (mostly subconsciously) they perceive curly haired women to be less competition on the dating market.

I love naturally curly hair!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mixed woman here and as others have commented I got far more attention from men of all races after straightening my hair. Lots of people are giving pc answers on this thread, but I don't think it's the reality. In contrast, I did get many more compliments from women when my hair was curly, but I kind of think it's them trying to be pc/polite and perhaps because (mostly subconsciously) they perceive curly haired women to be less competition on the dating market.

Wow, the last sentence of this post makes me sad. I’m white and have pretty straight hair and I love natural hair on black women—I think it looks so cool (an I went to high school in the 80s and my poor mother spent a fortune on perms for me)! But I always refrain from giving compliments because I don’t know how they will be taken. Guess I will stick with that policy.

Compliments are okay with m. Just don't touch or ask to touch.
Don't let pps fool you kinky/curly haired women get plenty of attention.

-kinky-curly haired married black lady.

Just rock that Angela Davis look baby! Love it!