Would you stay at home with small children, or wait for more work flexibility for kids when older?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't pick either. I would focus on flexible jobs for me and for the child(ren)'s other parent.

[Anonymous]

I never had the option to not work full-time. One kid is in college, one halfway through high school. No nannies. No regrets.

It probably helped that my kids were never interested in team sports and did weekend martial arts and music as their main ECs.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 12 and 15. I've been lucky enough to work part time (24-32 hrs per week) throughout my kids' lives, but as infants and toddlers, they still had to go to daycare, as we have no family in the area and I was too nervous to go the nanny route.

Looking back and at where we are now, I think flexibility has become more important in their later childhood (tweens and teens).

Despite what some may suggest on this site, you're not a bad mom if you work to secure your family's financial stability.

[Anonymous]

The right answer for me has been to work while kids are young, so that we have enough money for a nanny. The nanny offers great flexibility for us that maximizes the amount of time I can spend with my kiddos. I also work from home a lot and am able to see the kids during breaks.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the personal experiences.

[Anonymous]

The hard thing is this: if you have three kids, say, and have them 2 years apart, and want to be home until they go to kindergarten, thats like 11 years out. This was me, but mine were closer in age than that. I have decided not to to back, but I knew going in that I would have that option, financially.

[Anonymous]

More flex time in older years -- able to coach teams and be around to dissuade experimentation with drugs and sex.

[Anonymous]

Just speaking from my own experience:

I worked more than I wanted to when my kids were very little (I was lucky to be PT 30hrs/wk, but would have loved at least one full day home with them). Staying int the workforce helped a little financially in the short-term, but payed off in dividends later when, as a result of staying on track, I both had more opportunities for securing better paying and more personally rewarding positions, and greater flexibility to set my schedule and scale up/scale down at will.

The problem with dropping out now is that you will likely greatly narrow the choices open to you for when your kids are older. Mine are both in elementary now, and I am in an upper management position that allows me to work primarily during school hours. I would never have gotten here at this point if I had dropped out of the work force, and I am very happy with the decision I made.

My choice would depend a lot on the types of options you have though. If you can swing SAH, knowing your long-term earning might not fully recover, want to stay home, and are in a job that is not flexible/requires long hours that you are not excited about, the appeal of SAH would be strong.

[Anonymous]

Option 1 until kids were 4 and 7 years.

Worked 4 hours a week from 4 and 7 years Until kids were 6 and 9.

Worked 8-11 hours a week from 6 and 9 years until 9 and 12.

Work 8-20 hours a week from 9 and 12 and kids are now 13 and 16.

I work 30-33 weeks a years.
Y kids are my priority.

[Anonymous]

I guess for me if part time means 24/32 hours a week all year - it's not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Option 2. Despite reports to the contrary, tweens and teens need you a lot. Not to mention activities I need to be around for, and also the stability of having someone home after they get home from school (or thereabouts) to sort of monitor the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Option 1 until kids were 4 and 7 years.

Worked 4 hours a week from 4 and 7 years Until kids were 6 and 9.

Worked 8-11 hours a week from 6 and 9 years until 9 and 12.

Work 8-20 hours a week from 9 and 12 and kids are now 13 and 16.

I work 30-33 weeks a years.
Y kids are my priority.

I'm sorry, but you counted 4 hours a week as working?

[Anonymous]

Option 2 but each situation is unique so it's hard to answer such a general question and with only two options to choose from, since real life contains infinite options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Option 1 until kids were 4 and 7 years.

Worked 4 hours a week from 4 and 7 years Until kids were 6 and 9.

Worked 8-11 hours a week from 6 and 9 years until 9 and 12.

Work 8-20 hours a week from 9 and 12 and kids are now 13 and 16.

I work 30-33 weeks a years.
Y kids are my priority.

I'm sorry, but you counted 4 hours a week as working?

I agree! I teach fitness classes - it's a hobby not a job

[Anonymous]

But I get paid 50/hour doing what I do, so it's more than a hobby at that rate.