Found out guy I'm dating has criminal record..

[Anonymous]

Oh run away asap. Text him and immediately block the number. Sorry op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they were in the VERY distant past and didn't involve drugs, just alcohol, I'd probably consider it. I actually work in a law enforcement field but I understand (and know) many people who have managed to successfully conquer their demons. Nobody is perfect and if he has his life together and is a successful, contributing member of society now, I don't necessarily think he should be punished for the rest of his life. I certainly wouldn't want everyone in my life holding my past sins against me forever, although nothing I've done is criminal in nature, people do grow and change. Every situation is different.

I'm certain I'm in the minority and a lot of the upper class, snobby, "I'm so perfect" DCUM crowd that lives in a bubble will flame me and disagree.

Op here. He told me this morning he got arrested but not why yet. His other offenses I was able to see appear to be in 2008, 2006, 2004, and 2003. There is up to 5 more records I can't view.

[Anonymous]

NP here - I am dating a woman for almost 3 months and met online. I looked her up and saw a DUI on casesearch 10 years ago, but she hasn't mentioned it and I didn't bring it up. I also have a record (misdemeanor and traffic, no felony charges) and brought it up in general, but she didn't ask about it in detail. Why would you not give the guy the benefit of the doubt, like I am with my gf? Everyone makes mistakes and its not for us to judge that person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here - I am dating a woman for almost 3 months and met online. I looked her up and saw a DUI on casesearch 10 years ago, but she hasn't mentioned it and I didn't bring it up. I also have a record (misdemeanor and traffic, no felony charges) and brought it up in general, but she didn't ask about it in detail. Why would you not give the guy the benefit of the doubt, like I am with my gf? Everyone makes mistakes and its not for us to judge that person.

No. You BOTH have records. OP (I am assuming) does not.

OP - run away. Run far and run fast. Do not even consider this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here - I am dating a woman for almost 3 months and met online. I looked her up and saw a DUI on casesearch 10 years ago, but she hasn't mentioned it and I didn't bring it up. I also have a record (misdemeanor and traffic, no felony charges) and brought it up in general, but she didn't ask about it in detail. Why would you not give the guy the benefit of the doubt, like I am with my gf? Everyone makes mistakes and its not for us to judge that person.

YES, Yes it is up to us to judge that person.

Making one mistake 10 years ago is ONE thing, but an arrest record for numerous arrests from years and year and years -- THAT IS A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR, and that isn't going to change anytime soon, ESPECIALLY since he was just arrested AGAIN yesterday and is 36 years old......

DUMP.HIM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here - I am dating a woman for almost 3 months and met online. I looked her up and saw a DUI on casesearch 10 years ago, but she hasn't mentioned it and I didn't bring it up. I also have a record (misdemeanor and traffic, no felony charges) and brought it up in general, but she didn't ask about it in detail. Why would you not give the guy the benefit of the doubt, like I am with my gf? Everyone makes mistakes and its not for us to judge that person.

Because the "mistake" happened yesterday, not 10 years ago.

Because he has made the same mistake over and over again.

It is absolutely for us to judge the people we are dating/might date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here - I am dating a woman for almost 3 months and met online. I looked her up and saw a DUI on casesearch 10 years ago, but she hasn't mentioned it and I didn't bring it up. I also have a record (misdemeanor and traffic, no felony charges) and brought it up in general, but she didn't ask about it in detail. Why would you not give the guy the benefit of the doubt, like I am with my gf? Everyone makes mistakes and its not for us to judge that person.

I would give someone the benefit of the doubt for one DUI 10 years ago. I would not give someone the benefit of the double for multiple alcohol-related arrests, particularly since the most recent occurred YESTERDAY.

[Anonymous]

Even if it is "only alcohol" it is a set a problems you don't need.

Imagine the next twenty years married to an alcoholic.

I've had friends do that and it isn't pretty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here - I am dating a woman for almost 3 months and met online. I looked her up and saw a DUI on casesearch 10 years ago, but she hasn't mentioned it and I didn't bring it up. I also have a record (misdemeanor and traffic, no felony charges) and brought it up in general, but she didn't ask about it in detail. Why would you not give the guy the benefit of the doubt, like I am with my gf? Everyone makes mistakes and its not for us to judge that person.

Excuse me? When you are choosing a life partner and trying out different people to potentially fill that role, why on earth would you think that you shouldn't judge that person? Nobody's looking out for you except yourself, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if it is "only alcohol" it is a set a problems you don't need.

Imagine the next twenty years married to an alcoholic.

I've had friends do that and it isn't pretty.

Agree. My mother and several of her siblings are alcoholics and when they're drinking, it's exhausting. Hiding their keys so they don't drive drunk, fighting with them that no they aren't safe to drive, constantly wondering to yourself "they seem sober but were they sneaking booze at the picnic just so they could drive home?" The vast majority of the time when a person drives drunk, they don't get caught so OP can be pretty sure that this guy habitually drives under the influence if he has multiple convictions. PASS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here - I am dating a woman for almost 3 months and met online. I looked her up and saw a DUI on casesearch 10 years ago, but she hasn't mentioned it and I didn't bring it up. I also have a record (misdemeanor and traffic, no felony charges) and brought it up in general, but she didn't ask about it in detail. Why would you not give the guy the benefit of the doubt, like I am with my gf? Everyone makes mistakes and its not for us to judge that person.

of course, it is up to us to distance ourselves from people who make repeated mistakes such as these. It's not like he forgets his keys repeatedly. He breaks the law, gets arrested and convicted. Who in their right mind would want to build a life with someone like that? I'd give someone a chance if they made one mistake and learned from it, but this guy is a repeat offender and got arrested YESTERDAY. THat is perfectly OK to judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here - I am dating a woman for almost 3 months and met online. I looked her up and saw a DUI on casesearch 10 years ago, but she hasn't mentioned it and I didn't bring it up. I also have a record (misdemeanor and traffic, no felony charges) and brought it up in general, but she didn't ask about it in detail. Why would you not give the guy the benefit of the doubt, like I am with my gf? Everyone makes mistakes and its not for us to judge that person.

It is absolutely my place to judge a person that puts the lives of everyone else on the road at risk because they are too much of a d-bag to not drive drunk. This guy has MULTIPLE convictions for drunk driving, imagine all the times he drove drunk without getting caught! F*ck this guy and screw anyone else who drives drunk, especially these days when Uber and other ridesharing services are so ubiquitous.

[Anonymous]

aakAnonymous wrote:NP here - I am dating a woman for almost 3 months and met online. I looked her up and saw a DUI on casesearch 10 years ago, but she hasn't mentioned it and I didn't bring it up. I also have a record (misdemeanor and traffic, no felony charges) and brought it up in general, but she didn't ask about it in detail. Why would you not give the guy the benefit of the doubt, like I am with my gf? Everyone makes mistakes and its not for us to judge that person.

Op here. One of my ex boyfriends had a DUI from when he was 18. I am fine with that because it was a past mistake that he committed when he was young. What is concerning about this current guy is his repeated offenses. He is 36 and has at least 5 offenses. I am a two years away from getting my PharmD and can't be around someone with multiple DUI and drug offenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

aakAnonymous wrote:NP here - I am dating a woman for almost 3 months and met online. I looked her up and saw a DUI on casesearch 10 years ago, but she hasn't mentioned it and I didn't bring it up. I also have a record (misdemeanor and traffic, no felony charges) and brought it up in general, but she didn't ask about it in detail. Why would you not give the guy the benefit of the doubt, like I am with my gf? Everyone makes mistakes and its not for us to judge that person.

Op here. One of my ex boyfriends had a DUI from when he was 18. I am fine with that because it was a past mistake that he committed when he was young. What is concerning about this current guy is his repeated offenses. He is 36 and has at least 5 offenses. I am a two years away from getting my PharmD and can't be around someone with multiple DUI and drug offenses.

Don't even think twice about cutting him off. Just text him and then block his number.

[Anonymous]

1 DUI, bad choice and mistake.

Several? Drinking problem, RUN now.

My mom fell for a guy like this. He had 3 DUIs 20+ years ago. Told her it was in the past, blah blah. They moved in together and he has a huge drinking problem. She knew the red flags but didn't listen