Why Is It Acceptable To Highlight The Cost Of My Kid's School?

[Anonymous]

They are saying, " ... and I'm not jealous because of this reason ..." wanting to prompt you to defend the decision,
defending with more information. People say all kinds of weird things re: college admissions. We had people ask if
5'2'' DD was a recruit for her U's basketball team. Her U was usually in the Final Four, but DD hadn't played HS BB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People ask where my kid is going to school this fall. It's a top-10 USNWR school, so when I tell them, the response is either:

1) Congrats!
2) Wow, that's expensive.

Why is #2 a socially acceptable response?

If somebody tells you where they live or the car they drive, would you respond "that's expensive"?

To be honest, all the people who have said this to me are nice folks. They aren't jerks...which makes the response even more puzzling.

Thoughts? All snark welcome.

are you afraid to answer?
Do you not want to tell them you're getting financial aid?
Or are you reluctant to tell them you need any financial aid?

I mean these schools are costing 65K +. For most people it is a big issue.

OP here. You ask if I'm afraid to answer...when somebody says "that's expensive", that isn't a question...it's just fishing for a response. To be honest, if somebody asked me any of the questions you list, I would answer.

??? Saying "that's expensive" is like saying the sun comes up in the east. We all know that.
Is your problem that they're making an obvious point? A little confused.

Yes - it's an obvious point. If somebody is just blurting it out and expects no response, I have less of an issue.

[Anonymous]

OP its not polite, but I'm sure as you say if these people are "nice folks" its a knee jerk reaction and they are speaking before thinking. They probably know you well enough to to be checking their responses for whether they are socially acceptable or not.

The PP who has a neighbor laughing that they will be going broke spending money on tuition is down right rude.

[Anonymous]

"not to be checking.." I meant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People ask where my kid is going to school this fall. It's a top-10 USNWR school, so when I tell them, the response is either:

1) Congrats!
2) Wow, that's expensive.

Why is #2 a socially acceptable response?

If somebody tells you where they live or the car they drive, would you respond "that's expensive"?

To be honest, all the people who have said this to me are nice folks. They aren't jerks...which makes the response even more puzzling.

Thoughts? All snark welcome.

are you afraid to answer?
Do you not want to tell them you're getting financial aid?
Or are you reluctant to tell them you need any financial aid?

I mean these schools are costing 65K +. For most people it is a big issue.

OP here. You ask if I'm afraid to answer...when somebody says "that's expensive", that isn't a question...it's just fishing for a response. To be honest, if somebody asked me any of the questions you list, I would answer.

??? Saying "that's expensive" is like saying the sun comes up in the east. We all know that.
Is your problem that they're making an obvious point? A little confused.

Yes - it's an obvious point. If somebody is just blurting it out and expects no response, I have less of an issue.

Cool. The just don't respond. What an intiguing post.

[Anonymous]

They're inviting you to comisserate on the high cost of college.

Don't be such a snowflake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're inviting you to comisserate on the high cost of college.

Don't be such a snowflake.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

I get what you mean OP. Someone found out my kid went to Princeton and he went on and on about how expensive it was. He sounded crazy, jealous and defensive. I told him it was a lot cheaper than all of his divorces. He went to some hick school in Va

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get what you mean OP. Someone found out my kid went to Princeton and he went on and on about how expensive it was. He sounded crazy, jealous and defensive. I told him it was a lot cheaper than all of his divorces. He went to some hick school in Va

sure you did. what a delightful friend you must be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If somebody tells you where they live or the car they drive, would you respond "that's expensive"?

"Must be nice!" is a fairly common thing to hear when people hear or see you drive a nice car ... or live in a nice home.

[Anonymous]

They're could be commiserating and making conversation in a lame way, want an opportunity to vent about their cost or sad that they couldn't afford a top choice school for their own kid even if that was years ago It's hardly ever really going to be about you. I wouldn't be offended. College decision time makes people crazy.

[Anonymous]

*They

[Anonymous]

It is a lot cheaper than a divorce but no one ever thinks of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're could be commiserating and making conversation in a lame way, want an opportunity to vent about their cost or sad that they couldn't afford a top choice school for their own kid even if that was years ago It's hardly ever really going to be about you. I wouldn't be offended. College decision time makes people crazy.

+1. I said this to my BIL recently when he told me his kid was going to a private school. It wasn't awkward, I moan about the cost of childcare and how hard it is to try to save for college. His response was something along the lines of "well next year it will be 2 in college. I'll never be able to retire!"

There's no malicious intent behind a comment like this.

[Anonymous]

It's really not anyone else's business. With Trump in the WH, people feel to say anything