Way too attracted to a dad at school.... how to defuse it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids will end up hating you because dh will tell them someday. Work with your DH. This guy might be attractive, but believe me he has his faults.

Yep, I did. Wife cheated, when kids asked why I told them. When they were younger I didn't say much but that their mom liked someone better than me. When they got older I told them. No point in hiding it, it's the truth. Don't do stuff if you're not prepared for the consequences and the the truth.

You're sick. My DH cheated on me in no way in HELL would I burden my children with that. Jesus, what a selfish prick you are. You are a real piece of shit.

[Anonymous]

If you are really feeling like there is something more out there for you, end things with your husband, pick up the pieces, and move on. But don't cheat on him while you are married. If you and this guy were meant to be, pursue it when you are both free and clear.

[Anonymous]

Do you know if he feels the same way about you?

Is he flirtatious?

Does he flirt with other moms too?

How do you know he doesn't have a girlfriend? He may be divorced, but you don't know that he's completely altogether single.

[Anonymous]

You can't hide it from the kids. I wouldn't talk bad about the other parent, but I would tell them the other parent wanted to date other people. And not be married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a single dad at school and I can't stop thinking about him. Our kids are friends, we see each other at parties and pick up/drop off. My DH and he are amicable, if not close friends. . I have found myself very attracted to him and can't stop thinking about starting something with him. I know it would devastate my husband, who is a good guy and a great dad. It would also blow up my whole circle of friends. Husband and I just don't seem to have a very exciting sex life these days (I've tried but he's not interested lately). I really am in the mood for some down and dirty. I WAH and so does the single dad... and i can't stop thinking. Have been getting relief by putting on lingerie in the middle of the day and taking things into my own hands, but it isn't helping.

So glad summer is coming and I won't see him as much. I feel so much sexual tension between us... dropped off something his kid forgot at his house last night and it was all I could do not to go for it in the driveway. I know this is wrong.

Remind me of all the downsides. I need a reality check.

Plus side: orgasms
Down side: Devastated husband. End of marriage. Kids hate you. Say bye to most of your friends.

If it were me, I'd buy a couple of great sex toys, use them on my own, and then show my DH. Pretty sure he'd be interested. That seems an easier route than risking your whole life for sex.

[Anonymous]

OP here: I won't do anything about it... I needed the reminders, especially the one that said the sex just isn't boring YET. It's a dry spell, it will pass, not going to risk everything to be with someone else (who probably isn't all I've made him up to be in my head, anyway). Thanks for the reality check.

[Anonymous]

As a veteran of an affair (coming from a marriage where my spouse has low libido) let me tell you what will most likely happen.

You will make a pass, he will up the ante. The flirtatious messages will intensify, and then finally it will become physical. You will feel a side of you that felt long dead, it will be one of the most exhilarating feelings, totally intoxicating. Especially since your spouse has no real drive, it will feel amazing to be desired again. The sex will be good, perhaps great but at least good. Most importantly, the feeling of being desired will override your moral compass.

You will start to confuse lust and love. Then, as you get addicted to him, you will start to resent your spouse.

As time passes you will start to notice he doesn't text or email as often. You then see he is dating someone else. Why shouldn't he? He is hot and single and the dating market for hit single guys in their 30s and 40s is amazing. You will start to get really jealous then really mad. Thing is, you have no one to talk to about this. Eventually, he moves on from you, likely to someone younger and objectively prettier. You go back to your boring marriage and now really resent your husband. You may or may not confess.

Either way, it doesn't end well.

Unless you can really really compartmentalize like men can, and totally separate sex from love, women can't just have sex for sport and go back to their families the way men do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids will end up hating you because dh will tell them someday. Work with your DH. This guy might be attractive, but believe me he has his faults.

Yep, I did. Wife cheated, when kids asked why I told them. When they were younger I didn't say much but that their mom liked someone better than me. When they got older I told them. No point in hiding it, it's the truth. Don't do stuff if you're not prepared for the consequences and the the truth.

You're sick. My DH cheated on me in no way in HELL would I burden my children with that. Jesus, what a selfish prick you are. You are a real piece of shit.

You need to seek therapy to come to terms with reality. Kids have a right to know the truth.

[Anonymous]

Wait. You put on lingerie to take care of things yourself? What? Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a veteran of an affair (coming from a marriage where my spouse has low libido) let me tell you what will most likely happen.

You will make a pass, he will up the ante. The flirtatious messages will intensify, and then finally it will become physical. You will feel a side of you that felt long dead, it will be one of the most exhilarating feelings, totally intoxicating. Especially since your spouse has no real drive, it will feel amazing to be desired again. The sex will be good, perhaps great but at least good. Most importantly, the feeling of being desired will override your moral compass.

You will start to confuse lust and love. Then, as you get addicted to him, you will start to resent your spouse.

As time passes you will start to notice he doesn't text or email as often. You then see he is dating someone else. Why shouldn't he? He is hot and single and the dating market for hit single guys in their 30s and 40s is amazing. You will start to get really jealous then really mad. Thing is, you have no one to talk to about this. Eventually, he moves on from you, likely to someone younger and objectively prettier. You go back to your boring marriage and now really resent your husband. You may or may not confess.

Either way, it doesn't end well.

Unless you can really really compartmentalize like men can, and totally separate sex from love, women can't just have sex for sport and go back to their families the way men do.

+1 This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids will end up hating you because dh will tell them someday. Work with your DH. This guy might be attractive, but believe me he has his faults.

Yep, I did. Wife cheated, when kids asked why I told them. When they were younger I didn't say much but that their mom liked someone better than me. When they got older I told them. No point in hiding it, it's the truth. Don't do stuff if you're not prepared for the consequences and the the truth.

You're sick. My DH cheated on me in no way in HELL would I burden my children with that. Jesus, what a selfish prick you are. You are a real piece of shit.

+1. This is divorce 101 PP, grow up

[Anonymous]

Don't forget you don't know what's down low either until you open the box of chocolates. That can be very disappointing sometimes.

[Anonymous]

I think this belong to the same pot as "don't shit where you eat", no!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids will end up hating you because dh will tell them someday. Work with your DH. This guy might be attractive, but believe me he has his faults.

Yep, I did. Wife cheated, when kids asked why I told them. When they were younger I didn't say much but that their mom liked someone better than me. When they got older I told them. No point in hiding it, it's the truth. Don't do stuff if you're not prepared for the consequences and the the truth.

You're sick. My DH cheated on me in no way in HELL would I burden my children with that. Jesus, what a selfish prick you are. You are a real piece of shit.

You need to seek therapy to come to terms with reality. Kids have a right to know the truth.

No, i do not need therapy, you need therapy. I'm healthy, you are not. You do not burden your children with adult marriage problems, nor use them as tools for revenge. You are as disgusting as the cheater.

[Anonymous]

OP 6 months (and a year, etc etc) down the road you will be proud of yourself when you look back and know you acted like a grown up and made the mature decision, even if it was really hard. You won't regret this...whereas you would almost certainly regret the alternative. Attention and flirtation is fun, but when it feels this dangerous it's time to diffuse it. When you see him, make a conscious effort to mention your DH a couple times (as much for your sake as for his).