How can I get DW to work more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Glad you are not my husband. He decided we needed more money so he went out and got a better job. Instead of complaining, get a better job. Problem solved.

No doubt OP is also very glad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Glad you are not my husband. He decided we needed more money so he went out and got a better job. Instead of complaining, get a better job. Problem solved.

I think it's a more realistic solution than getting this lady work full-time, if she doesn't want to.

[Anonymous]

Op here. DW works privately now and makes a good hourly rate, just doesn't work nearly enough hours. She either needs to find more clients or get a job working for someone where the hourly rate is less but she works more hours and sees a higher annual income. And to the PP saying get a higher paying job, even if I did make more, out of principle I believe DW should be working more now that kids are gone from 745-315 every day. That was what we always said before kids. To each their own, but I personally don't respect people as much if they aren't contributing, either by working or being s SAH parent to young children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DW works privately now and makes a good hourly rate, just doesn't work nearly enough hours. She either needs to find more clients or get a job working for someone where the hourly rate is less but she works more hours and sees a higher annual income. And to the PP saying get a higher paying job, even if I did make more, out of principle I believe DW should be working more now that kids are gone from 745-315 every day. That was what we always said before kids. To each their own, but I personally don't respect people as much if they aren't contributing, either by working or being s SAH parent to young children.

She is contributing. She's probably doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, most of the kids stuff like doctors, activities, and much more. Its sad you don't appreciate her. And, she is working and pulling in money. If she works full time are you going to do all the things she is doing from 7:45-315 - doubtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Glad you are not my husband. He decided we needed more money so he went out and got a better job. Instead of complaining, get a better job. Problem solved.

Read the OP, she agreed to this plan before kids. As a 50+ Fed, getting more $$$ is unrealistic. Glad your DH is PW enough to hustle though, but it doesn't seem to improve your mood.

My husband is not PW and he is the one who wanted me to stay home and told me to. You leave being a fed. My husband would love an easy cushy job being a fed but he makes 2x as much being in private contracting so regardless of my income or employment status, it makes sense. Maybe you OP should care more about his family and stop being so lazy and get a higher paying job if they cannot live of his income and her part-time work. She is working! He probably isn't even willing to do 1/2 the stuff she does.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this woman seems lazy and irresponsible. OP, you need to put her on a tighter budget, or something else to get her attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DW works privately now and makes a good hourly rate, just doesn't work nearly enough hours. She either needs to find more clients or get a job working for someone where the hourly rate is less but she works more hours and sees a higher annual income. And to the PP saying get a higher paying job, even if I did make more, out of principle I believe DW should be working more now that kids are gone from 745-315 every day. That was what we always said before kids. To each their own, but I personally don't respect people as much if they aren't contributing, either by working or being s SAH parent to young children.

She is contributing. She's probably doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, most of the kids stuff like doctors, activities, and much more. Its sad you don't appreciate her. And, she is working and pulling in money. If she works full time are you going to do all the things she is doing from 7:45-315 - doubtful.

Op. Wrong. We split laundry and cooking, I usually clean the kitchen, we have a cleaning lady every two weeks, and I am very active with kid activities. Taking the kids to doctor appointments, she does that so you got me there.

[Anonymous]

If you love your DW, this really should not be an issue. She does her best, you do your best. Cherish what you have. Support each other. Having kids and raising them effects women in so many ways. She may not be able to work full time for some reason. May be she wants to be there for the kids when they get home from school.

[Anonymous]

I'mean guessing many of the responses would be very different if the genders in the orginal post were reversed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Glad you are not my husband. He decided we needed more money so he went out and got a better job. Instead of complaining, get a better job. Problem solved.

You must be one of wife's friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DW works privately now and makes a good hourly rate, just doesn't work nearly enough hours. She either needs to find more clients or get a job working for someone where the hourly rate is less but she works more hours and sees a higher annual income. And to the PP saying get a higher paying job, even if I did make more, out of principle I believe DW should be working more now that kids are gone from 745-315 every day. That was what we always said before kids. To each their own, but I personally don't respect people as much if they aren't contributing, either by working or being s SAH parent to young children.

She is contributing. She's probably doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, most of the kids stuff like doctors, activities, and much more. Its sad you don't appreciate her. And, she is working and pulling in money. If she works full time are you going to do all the things she is doing from 7:45-315 - doubtful.

Op. Wrong. We split laundry and cooking, I usually clean the kitchen, we have a cleaning lady every two weeks, and I am very active with kid activities. Taking the kids to doctor appointments, she does that so you got me there.

NP here. i do everything OP's DW apparently does and more and I work full time. this chick isn't pulling her weight. straight up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you love your DW, this really should not be an issue. She does her best, you do your best. Cherish what you have. Support each other. Having kids and raising them effects women in so many ways. She may not be able to work full time for some reason. May be she wants to be there for the kids when they get home from school.

Hahaha, home for middle schoolers when they get home. They have a crap ton of homework , probably after school activities.

Besides which many jobs will allow her to be home after school and work 30-40 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Glad you are not my husband. He decided we needed more money so he went out and got a better job. Instead of complaining, get a better job. Problem solved.

Read the OP, she agreed to this plan before kids. As a 50+ Fed, getting more $$$ is unrealistic. Glad your DH is PW enough to hustle though, but it doesn't seem to improve your mood.

My husband is not PW and he is the one who wanted me to stay home and told me to. You leave being a fed. My husband would love an easy cushy job being a fed but he makes 2x as much being in private contracting so regardless of my income or employment status, it makes sense. Maybe you OP should care more about his family and stop being so lazy and get a higher paying job if they cannot live of his income and her part-time work. She is working! He probably isn't even willing to do 1/2 the stuff she does.

Only 2x as much as a Fed, with all the instability and crap contracting. Ugh, no kidding he wishes he had an easy Fed job. I guess the bonus is he can spend more time away from home and *grateful* DW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'mean guessing many of the responses would be very different if the genders in the orginal post were reversed.

Ya think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DW works privately now and makes a good hourly rate, just doesn't work nearly enough hours. She either needs to find more clients or get a job working for someone where the hourly rate is less but she works more hours and sees a higher annual income. And to the PP saying get a higher paying job, even if I did make more, out of principle I believe DW should be working more now that kids are gone from 745-315 every day. That was what we always said before kids. To each their own, but I personally don't respect people as much if they aren't contributing, either by working or being s SAH parent to young children.

She is contributing. She's probably doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, most of the kids stuff like doctors, activities, and much more. Its sad you don't appreciate her. And, she is working and pulling in money. If she works full time are you going to do all the things she is doing from 7:45-315 - doubtful.

Op. Wrong. We split laundry and cooking, I usually clean the kitchen, we have a cleaning lady every two weeks, and I am very active with kid activities. Taking the kids to doctor appointments, she does that so you got me there.

Every Fed dad I know is super egalitarian and involved father, that's a large part why the compromises their career growth to be more balanced. I'm sure that was part of the reason he took this job, to be situated where she can return to work as they had planned.